I am a Lipophile (and I am Durn Proud of it too)!

My name is Eric John Monier and I am a lipophile, specifically, a heterosexual lipophile.

A lipophile is an individual who is attracted to overweight or obese people, in my case, overweight or obese women.

Those of you who know me well enough are already well aware of this.

I’ve been attracted to plus-sized members of the opposite sex as early as age 14, but I wasn’t completely open and honest about it until about the age of 19. Since my early thirties, I have also been attracted to super-sized members of the opposite sex.

From the latter parts of 2018 until December 4, 2019, I was in a very loving relationship with a super-sized young lady. No one had ever made me so happy. I didn’t care what others thought when they saw me with her in public. I was crushed when she ended it with me and I still am crushed. By the way, she didn’t cause me to also be attracted to super-sized women, because there were other super-sized women of whom I had been madly attracted to between leaving my now ex-wife and meeting her.

My now ex-wife is plus-sized but she resented my lipophilia with a hot passion most of the time.

I catch some flak about this attraction of mine from friends and family, every now and then. However, I was more worried about being harassed about this attraction by those who didn’t like me. Friends and family are in my life, but I don’t have any contact with those who don’t like me.

From early childhood up until my very early teens, I was not attracted to plus-sized members of the opposite sex. I used to say some pretty horrible things about them because the ones I had been around always were so mean. But the reason why they were so mean is probably that they were harassed so much. My Mom even tells me a story of when I was really little there was a heavyset woman checking out her purchases and she had walked backward to put something else in her shopping buggy. Well as she was walking backward, I started saying, “Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…” In other words, most if not all larger vehicles and all mobilized machines make that beeping sound when moving in reverse as a safety feature. My Mom was so embarrassed by that. I’m not one to favor corporal punishment at all, but I hope I got a good butt-whipping for that because I am so ashamed of myself if I indeed did that. And for the record, I do NOT have a spanking fetish! As sharp as my memory is, I don’t recall doing that and maybe that is God’s grace upon me because I would feel absolutely awful with myself about doing something like that. I’ll admit I was a mean and hateful child and I don’t like how I was at all. I was still mean by the time I got to seventh grade, but things were starting to change. There was a girl who was in sixth grade and slightly plus-sized. I think she may have had a crush on me. I also had a crush on her, but never pursued her because of my pride. She was one of the few people in the whole school that was nice to me. Now she is married and my prayer about her is that her husband realizes what a wonderful person she is and he treats her as such!

I switched schools beginning in eighth grade. I was harassed a lot at my new school, but there were a bunch of plus-sized girls who were so good to me. I had crushes on several of them but never pursued them for fear of harassment. Looking back, I shouldn’t have given a single durn about being harassed and I should have pursued at least some of them. Around this time, I also came to realize that most plus-sized females have big breasts, nice butts, very sexy legs and when a pretty face is thrown into the mixture, I feel immensely giddy at the sight. I’ve also come to associate plus-sized and super-sized females with kindness, fidelity, and innocence, at least in my own mind and heart. And not only that, I have observed that many plus-sized and super-sized females look considerably younger than their actual age, especially after age 30. I sometimes see some plus sized ladies in their forties who could pass off as a twenty-something. I don’t see these qualities when I think of a skinny or a muscular woman. So when I say how I am strongly attracted to those body types, it is certainly not out of desperation. Furthermore, if I were truly desperate, would I not go after any woman of any body type that is willing? May it never be! I know I could never be happy with any woman that isn’t plus-sized or super-sized and the few times I was in relationships with skinny girls and women, I forever found myself longing for someone that was at least chubby. The times I was in relationships with women who were skinny-that was out of desperation, because no one else was paying attention to me, but they were.

Around the age of fifteen and three quarters, I was wrongfully and forcefully medicated on a drug that caused a little bit of weight gain. Prior to that, I was 5’4″ and maybe 115 pounds. Afterward, I was 5’6″ and 180 pounds. Looking back, this weight gain combined with my pride is what caused me to be a little more open about my attraction to plus-sized females. It also gave me enough courage to cause me to make a pass at one of them. Once I gained weight I wasn’t harassed as much. Then at the age of eighteen, I started losing weight and I was 5’6″ and 122 pounds. With the weight loss came harassment again. But as skinny as I was, I still desired only plus-sized females. By age nineteen, I was 5’6.5″ and in my 140-pound range. I also came out of the proverbial lipophile closet at this age. Many of my classmates in trade school harassed me as a result of not only being skinny and looking fourteen instead of nineteen but because of my vocalness about what size I am attracted to.

In January of 2007, I met my now ex-wife while I was pushing shopping buggies and bagging groceries at my then local grocer. She was plus-sized (still is) and that was what drew me to her, more than anything else. We had moved really fast. I mean we were already a couple on the day we met and six days later, she admitted that she wanted to marry me. We got along great for the first few years, but she suffers from hydrocephalus and after we tied the knot she needed a shunt revision. The built-up fluid on her brain caused some minor brain damage and altered her personality for the worst. She became mean, controlling and at times violent. I dealt with that for the next almost eight years, the first four because I did love her but the last four only because I fear God. I was not happy at all, but God carried me through it. I begged her to get help for herself, but she flat out refused. I left her in January of 2018. Our divorce was finalized on October 11, 2018. I’ve unfortunately seen her in person a few times since then and I will say that I am still attracted to her body, but I remember how terribly she treated me and my heart is severely repulsed though my flesh is still attracted but only to the physical.

In the latter parts of 2018, I had fallen for a super-sized young lady and the way she felt about me was mutual. No one had ever made me so happy. I’ve also never been more attracted to anyone else. I wish she and I were still together at the time of me writing this, but she gave up on me on December 4, 2019. We parted on pleasant terms. Honestly in the year and some months, we were together we never once argued, not even during the breakup process. I’m crushed as I stated before, but God will get me through it. My prayer right now is either that she miraculously comes back to me and our relationship heals or that God sends another super-sized young lady that meets my standards and doesn’t give up on me this time.

Yes, I am now gravitating more towards super-sized than plus-sized after how happy I was in my last relationship.

I used to call my lipophilia a perversion but when I spoke with one Christian minister about it he corrected me and said it wasn’t a perversion but a preference.

Still, I’m sure there are some who would maybe call me a pervert, but I don’t care.

I’m also sure there are those who think this is very disgusting, but let them, because the motives of my heart behind this plus-sized and super-sized attraction of mine are overwhelmingly pure.

Anyway, there are other types of philias and philes that aren’t so pure and good.

Lipophilia is not harmful to me or others.

And just for the record if by some unfortunate event I wind up with a skinny woman, I won’t try to force her to gain weight so she could be more attractive to me. That is, in my book, indeed a perversion and very unhealthy. Now if she was dangerously underweight, then yes I would because that would be the right thing to do. Induced weight gain was done to me when I was skinny by my now ex-wife and I vehemently resented it. There was another girl I was in a brief relationship with that gave me a several ultimatums if I wanted her and one of them was to gain weight. This is borderline abuse and I want no part of it. But in all honesty, I don’t want a skinny woman to begin with.

My lipophilia is a huge part of who I am (pun intended.)

I wouldn’t be me anymore if I suddenly stopped being a lipophile.

There are a lot of men who are looking for easy sex. Many times they make a pass at a plus-sized or super-sized woman and when she rejects them, they insult her about her weight. This is an extremely low thing to do, but I’m not surprised at all.

Well, I’m not looking for easy sex, but rather true love and happiness and yes, sex eventually comes with that. Many times, I do make an advance at a plus-sized or even super-sized woman but then she rejects me. However, I don’t insult her, because I strive to be a gentleman. Even though rejection is very hurtful, I don’t want to repay it with more hurt. I simply bid her farewell and then leave her alone. Whenever I do talk to a plus-sized or super-sized woman of whom I am interested, I make it a point early on to confess to her my lipophilia to her, but I obviously don’t use that word. However, I do ask her not to hold it against me. Some do and they are disgusted. Some don’t and they seem quite happy.

I guess this, therefore, concludes my pieces on my lipophilia.

I hope you, the reader, understand me better but also have been informed and maybe even entertained…

Back to “Personal Reflections”

My Standards for a Future Partner or Spouse

I’m actually writing this on the evening of my 33rd Birthday.

However, I came up with most of these standards while I was trapped in a faulty marriage.

I did have another, albeit mostly innocent, relationship after that marriage, but she called it quits on me a year and almost four months later.  By the way, she exceeded my standards by far, so I quickly fell for her and was devastated when she quit on me.

My first and biggest standard is that she have no children.  I have no children either, so I feel that is what I deserve.  Furthermore, since both of us would have no children, we can totally focus on each other!  I am open to having children some day, but I want it to be with only one woman!

My next standard is that she be a Born Again Christian of any denomination or independent/fragmented church.   If not a Christian, she would need to be at least tolerant, friendly and understanding of my Christian faith.  I would be thrilled beyond any and all imagination if she converted to Christianity by hearing or viewing The Gospel from me and more importantly seeing me live it out!  This should be my number one standard, but I know Christianity is sadly not always popular among my fellow Millennials in Western Society.

Another very important standard is that she be at least overweight or even obese (be it clinically or morbidly.)  Yes, I am exclusively attracted to plus sized and even super sized women.  This is even more true if she has a pretty face! I believe the medical term is called lipophilia.  I catch enough flak about it, from my family and my friends also get annoyed about this as well, but it is a major part of who I am.  There is something about me that causes the endorphins to surge throughout my being when I see a bigger lady.  And not only that, I feel immensely giddy!  I don’t have those reactions whenever I see skinny or muscular women, no matter how pretty their faces are.  I won’t be rude to skinny or muscular women, I’m just not attracted to them.  This dates back to when I was in Eighth Grade and a lot of plus sized girls were so good to me.  I had crushes on many of them but didn’t make it known nor did I ask them out because I was afraid of what others would think of me.  At the age of sixteen, things changed though I didn’t publicly make my size preference known until between the ages of seventeen and nineteen.  There was a time I acted like I was God’s gift to plus sized women, but now whenever I see one I feel as if I am a lowly pauper in the presence of a mighty queen!  The ironic part is that I can talk to a skinny or muscular woman and be totally cool calm and collected.  However, if I am talking to a plus sized or super sized woman, I become awfully bashful and nervously cute because of the giddiness I feel.  Almost all of the love stories I have recently written in some way shape or form entail a plus sized lady who is absolutely adored and revered by her man!

Yet, another standard I have pertains to age.  I have gotten stricter on this standard because I realize that a partner or spouse must needs have at least some things in common.  Therefore she has to have been born between January 1, 1980 and December 31, 1994.  I wouldn’t have anything in common with those who are older or younger.  My standard on this used to be someone born between January 1, 1978 and September 10, 1996, but I soon realized I needed to revise that.  Usually those that are older than me and up to three years younger than me don’t pay much attention to me anyway, because they all want older men than me.

It would be perfectly fine for her to take medication under a physician’s care or even drink alcohol, but using any tobacco, vape, marijuana or any illegal drugs is a total deal breaker for me.

This next standard is painfully awkward, but unfortunately I do need to say it, especially in this day and age:  I cannot and will not demand that she is a virgin, because I’m obviously not and that would be pure hypocrisy on my part.  However, I would still date or marry a virgin, if she indeed wanted me, simply because they have shown interest in me in the past and they have treated me well.  For the record, I would treat her with a great deal of reverence.  I cannot and will not count rape or molestation against a future partner and would still date or marry someone who has been a victim of such egregious crimes provided she gets the help she needs and doesn’t take her anger out on me.  I promise I would treat her too with a lot of reverence and gentleness.  Ideally, though, I would want to date and ultimately marry someone who has a past that is the equivalent of mine, of which I would also treat her with reverence and not only that, there would be a mutual understanding between us!  However, I will not date or marry a whore, that is someone who has willful and consensual sex with multiple partners, especially for money or favors but even just for fun.  I frankly do not care how awesome she is in bed, because I have my health and my dignity at stake.  Furthermore, as wrong as this may seem I would feel no reverence towards towards a whore or even a former whore and I want to date and marry someone I feel reverence towards!

I don’t want to date someone who is married or even in a relationship!  Unless, of course, the relationship she is in was very abusive or unfaithful and she wants out for good.  However, I will date someone that is in the process of a divorce or has a finalized divorce.  I too am a divorcee!  Of course I would also date someone who is totally single!

The above are all the standards I have that are absolute.

The following are totally negotiable standards:

I do not like sports.  In fact I hate most sports.  I don’t want to be with a woman who is into sports and watches them for hours or day on end and shuts me out while doing so!  I suffered through that enough in that faulty marriage I was in and I don’t want to repeat it again.  Ideally, it would be so awesome if I could find a woman who hates sports as much as I do, but that might be asking a lot.

Technically I am disabled.  Therefore I would rather be with a woman who is also disabled, if at all possible.  She could be either mentally or physically disabled (within reason), as long as she has a good heart, I could fall for her!  I find we could better relate better to each other and would also have a solid understanding of each other.  However, I would date or even marry a woman who is able and employed, though, and I would be totally supportive of her career in any way I can be.  I just don’t think such a woman would stay with me for very long.

Politically, I can best describe myself as a Moderate.  I know am sometimes quite liberal because I believe in safety nets for those who need them I believe that affordable healthcare should be accessible to everyone and I firmly believe something needs to be done about the unbearably high cost of housing but other times I am very conservative because I believe in religious liberties, I believe the government needs to butt out of our lives most of the time and I firmly believe in gun rights.  I would want to marry someone who is like me politically but I get that finding such a woman will be durn near impossible!

Are these too unreasonable for me?  I think not!  If they are indeed unreasonable, I’d rather be single!

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…In Case You’re Interested in Me….

This is similar to what I have posted on my dating profiles.  I haven’t had much success on those.

I don’t know why one of my readers would be interested in dating me, but in case one of you are for whatever reason, here is a little about me:

First and foremost, I am a Christian and have been since the age of seventeen (July 2004.) I am but a poor wretched sinner who is born again, a child of The Most High King and therefore saved only by the gift of grace imparted to me through the loving, sufficient and selfless sacrificial death and victorious resurrection of my personal Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and, let me be totally clear, absolutely no merit of my own!  I attend church at least once a week and usually more than that!

Even though I am a Christian I am a huge fan of The Twilight Saga.  The main reason I am is that I can relate to Edward Cullen on so many levels.  In fact, I’ve frequently been described as an old soul.  Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate that people my age look much younger than their counterparts of previous generations.  I am heavily dependent on just about all modern technologies.  And I appreciate how we are more informed than ever before.  However, I vehemently resent that my honesty and my chivalry are grossly undervalued if even valued at all.  Remember how Edward Cullen acted towards Bella Swan (especially in his reverence towards her)?  That’s exactly how I would feel towards any young lady that would give me the honor of being hers!  Being this way, though, is very detrimental in today’s dating world, unfortunately.  Not too many generations ago, it was noble and admirable!  On top of that, I used to look like Edward Cullen, before I gained weight, but that was also before Twilight was even a thing.

Politically, I am Moderate.  I believe in safety nets for those who need them.  I believe everyone deserves access to affordable healthcare.  And I believe something ought to be done about the unbearably high cost of housing.  Also, I believe that private schools whose rules governing off-campus behavior that are in violation of any constitutional rights ought to lose all federal funding as well as their non-profit status.  However, I also believe in religious liberties.  I also believe in limited government at least most of the time.  And I fervently believe in gun rights.  This unique combination makes me a Moderate.  However, I vote with my conscience, which is ever molded and framed by The Bible and The Conviction of The Holy Ghost.

Second to being a Christian, I’m also an independent thinker, even though it landed me in constant trouble as a schoolboy. I do hold myself to a high standard and strive to be moral, ethical and a man of integrity.  I have a place of my own, live by myself, I have a steady source of income, no children and my own vehicle.

Just to be clear: I am divorced but it was a clean break and totally final. My ex-wife and I went our separate ways and we owe each other nothing, financially or otherwise. Professionals familiar with the situation have put me overwhelmingly in the right.  That faulty marriage taught me to have standards!  More on that in a bit.

I do have some strikes against me, but all through no fault of my own.  I try to play the hand I was dealt with the best of my ability and let me just say that if you don’t want me during my darkest nights, then you don’t deserve me during my brightest days!  However, if you stand by me in the valleys, in my eyes you will be higher than the highest mountains and of course, be treated as such!

I can be either an introvert or an extrovert, it all depends on the type of people present.  I’m not snobbish by any means but I am careful and I trust my instincts (and statistics.)  Therefore, if my gut speaks good of them, I open up, fellowship and share with them.  Likewise, if my gut speaks ill of them I shut down, ignore them and keep to myself.

Writing is my favorite activity (obviously) and I’ve been doing it since April 10, 2003. My favorite genre to write is love stories. I also write articles and essays on topics of which I am well versed. A good bit of my material is posted on my blog. I want to eventually make a career out of blogging and writing, but that is just a dream as of now. I like to write a short love story then have a detailed analytical discussion about it. Actually, that would be a perfect first date for me, so do check out the fiction page.  I try to write like a Modern or Post Modern version of Ernest Hemingway, Edgar Allen Poe and Charles Dickens all rolled into one.  When I write a story, not only am I trying to entertain and make the reader feel wonderful emotions, but I am also attempting to teach what I highly value!

In addition to writing, I repair and restore computers for fun and can breathe new life into an old computer that most others thought was ruined forever. However, I’m very unconventional in my methods of doing so. Because of my computer repair hobby and my desire to just be prepared in general; I’m definitely into EDC or everyday carry.  Therefore, I always carry a flashlight and a muti-tool on me.  I frequently also carry a calculator and almost always wear a watch that is synchronized monthly with the U.S. Government’s Offical Time.

One quirk of mine is that I wear slacks, britches or trousers year-round (even in this Louisiana heat.)  Don’t try to change me, because I would feel extremely weird if I couldn’t wear long pants and I haven’t worn shorts in almost a decade.

Another quirk is that I am extremely punctual.  Some people appreciate it and kudos to them.  Others do detest it, mostly because they come from cultures that do not emphasize the importance of being on time, but I am at odds with people like that anyway for a number of other reasons.

In some ways, I am very disciplined and I carry myself with militant precision.  In other ways, not so much.

God has also graced me with the ability to fix things around the house, especially anything electrical.

Listening to music is good for my heart and soul, and I like all kinds of music, so I spend many nights driving around jamming with the car stereo on full blast.  My favorite musical artist as a teenager was The Dave Matthews Band.  In my early adult years, I listened to Country music but it got stupid around 2013.  All Country music prior to 2013 is pure gold in my book though!  I started listening to bands like Fun., Neon Trees, Imagine Dragons, of Monsters and Men, etc around 2012-2013.  The only three current singers I like are Ed Sheeran, George Ezra, and Meghan Trainor.

Speaking of driving, I have a very keen sense of direction and since 2001, my peers have often referred to me as “a human GPS.”  I inherited this trait from my Dad and I memorized the road maps he collected.  However, I’m humble enough to ask for directions when I need to.

I do like to go fishing every now and then and even though my gear is simple, I catch a lot.

There are other hobbies of mine, but you’d probably find them boring.  However, they are totally wholesome, virtually legal and they keep me out of trouble.  If you don’t like my hobbies, I won’t force them on you by any means, but when I am engaging in them would be a time for me to do my thing and you do your thing which is vital for any relationship!

Since I live alone, I can cook a few dishes and not to be boastful or anything, but I can fry chicken almost exactly like Colonel Sanders (he was the founder of KFC for all you younger ladies who may not know of him.)  Unfortunately, I am surrounded by people who much prefer Al Copeland’s (the founder of Popeye’s) method.

Believe it or not, I have quite a funny side and actually, I am always making friends and family laugh.  If I act funny with you, it means I am very comfortable with you!

People tell me I look younger than my actual age.  I was born in January of 1987, so do the math to find out my current age and you decide if I look my age or not.

Want to know more, just ask.  I promise to be as truthful and honest with you as possible, no matter the cost…

I am most certainly NOT interested in casual hookups, one night stands, friends with benefits, nor do I want to exchange naked pictures. I’m not looking for easy sex. Rather, I want to love and be loved! True, committed love preferably within wedlock is the prerequisite for intimacy in my book. However, I am very much aware that we are fallen beings in an equally fallen world. There may be reasons to not get legally married, but I definitely would want to still make a clear and definite marriage commitment before God, friends, and family without getting the government involved if that’s what we would need to do.  Legal and binding or not, I will take our marriage commitment seriously and with extreme reverence!  To me, it will be a sacred covenant between me, you and our God!  I don’t want to play games nor do I appreciate people playing games with me. I am a gentleman and I promise to treat you like a lady! I do have very certain standards but if you meet or exceed them, I could fall very quickly and hard for you!

If you’re still interested there are more than enough ways to drop me a line on the Contact Me Page

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Sixteen Years of Writing!

Today is April 10, 2019.

It will be sixteen years this evening that I decided to become a writer, at least on the amateur level.

This is a special anniversary for my writing “career” because I was sixteen years old when I began. That means that now I have been writing for half of my life.

Though I have been writing for sixteen years, I still have yet to earn a single copper penny from doing it.

I still do it mostly for fun, but also to forward the values and truths I find important and to describe and inform about my various other interests.

Late last month and earlier this month I had tried a new medication, Vraylar, for various mental disorders of which I suffer. It made me completely stable but at the same time, disabled my ability to write. I was so stable that I was unable to be creative at all. It is true that most writers, visual artists, musicians, and all others who are creative either have some sort of mental disorder, use drugs and/or alcohol or have something else wrong with them. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, those flaws allow and sometimes compel creativity. So I’m back on my normal medication and this piece is the first thing I have written since.

What initially fueled my writing and ability to be creative other than the several factors experienced in the months prior to April of 2003, was that I was wrongfully medicated with a terrible drug known as Risperdal, but around late March or early April 2003, I was taken off all medications and had become very lively. That liveliness spawned much creativity both verbal (I came out with some funny and thought-provoking things in those days) and literary when I wrote my first story on the evening of April 10, 2003. This is what I am talking about when I mention medication and lack thereof.

That first story was about a teenage couple that was mowed down in a school shooting. What is scary though is that days after writing it there were at least two school shootings both in my home state of Louisiana. My peers seemed amazed but then soon forgot about it. There were various other times my writing has predicted things that came to pass. More than anything, it scares me when this happens but doesn’t stop me from being creative.

In 2003 and into 2004, I kept the stories I had written on a secret webpage, some of which was saved in the Internet Archives. Yes, I did feel quite flattered when I discovered that in 2017! In 2004 I began backing up my stories on a floppy disk, which I did until 2006 when I began using a USB flash drive.

For the second half of 2004 and through most of 2005, my writing became stagnant. This is because in June of 2004 I suffered a mental breakdown and was medicated with that same terrible medication from June of 2004 to January of 2006. When I was put on a better medication, Geodon, in 2006, I felt much like the same way I did in late March and early April of 2003. It was almost like being continuously high, just perfectly legal and medically necessary!

From January 2006 and onward, I had been writing and it kept on improving.

In June or July of 2007, I had tried a different medication and stayed on it until April of 2010, when I went back to Geodon, again there was that brightening effect and the high highs. I was working as a grocer, which would inspire my “Grocer and Writer” stories, over four years later. In September of 2011, I had quit that job and had lots of free time on my hands, a good bit of which I would dedicate to my writing. I was married at the time and for whatever reason, my now ex wife and some [not all] of my ex-in-laws despised the fact that I was a writer. I honestly think it is because the content of my writing did not and does not conform to the narrative and agenda they subscribe to. My ex wife and and I come from radically different cultures and that alone produced a lot of friction in our marriage. I guess, I married her because I was definitely attracted to her physically and at first she did treat me right, although from the get go she found ways to tear me down and I should have seen this as a red flag, but I didn’t. Hindsight is always 20/20 though.

From 2012 onward I had written some of my favorite stories, many of which are at least partially available on my blog.

I had also begun to start writing personal reflections, essays and articles in addition to my works of fiction.

In the late Summer of 2015, I had tried a drug for my various mental disorders known as Latuda. It was like Risperdal, minus the side effects. I only stayed on it for a day or two, then went back to Geodon. Also in 2015, I was steadily working on my “Grocer and Writer” stories which I had begun on June 30, 2014.

By 2016, I had realized that a good bit of people were offended by those “Grocer and Writer” stories so I began to write off shoots of them that talk the decent values presented in them, but had taken out most of the controversy.

My now ex wife still hated these off shoots and just about anything else I would write.

On October 6, 2016, a month after the untimely death of a fellow, young aspiring writer, I launched my blog. I had realized that I am still alive and I have a gift that needs to be shared with others. I would say that my readers do indeed appreciate what I do and I hold their appreciation in high regard!

Throughout 2017, I continued writing off shoots to my “Grocer and Writer” stories as well as some non fiction pieces while my marriage was beginning to fall apart.

I left my now ex wife on January 18/19, 2018 and the divorce was granted on October 11, 2018.

Being back on Geodon from Vraylar has allowed my creativity to slowly come back and I cannot wait until it is fully manifested once again.

I cannot wait to see what I will write in the next sixteen years!

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope you, the reader, have been informed and maybe even entertained…

My Interest in “Industrial” Pocket Sized Flashlights

I have had a special fascination with pocket sized “Industrial” flashlights since 1994 at age seven. I have since transitioned to fancy the “Tactical” flashlights more, but the “Industrial” flashlights will always have a place in my heart.

I am experiencing flu like symptoms right now, but need to meet up with my brother later this evening, so to pass the time, I am writing this.

In August of 1994, for doing well on a television interview, I was given several gifts, one of them was an Eveready Industrial 2 AA flashlight that I would carry on me almost everywhere I could. The model number I would later find out was Eveready IN-215.

This would seal the deal on my interest in pocket sized flashlights and was a factor in making me an early proponent of all things EDC.

The bulb blew out sometime in the latter part of 1995 and my mom instead of buying a new bulb, bought me an Eveready Value flashlight in March of 1996.

In late July of 1996, somewhat dissatisfied with my Eveready Value Lite, I purchased a 2AA Brinkmann flashlight. I to this day, do not remember the model number of it nor can I find any information whatsoever about it online. All I can do is give a physical description: I am almost sure it was made by Brinkmann. The main body was black and made of either ABS or PP or HDPE. I am almost sure it had a KPR104 bulb. The lens shroud was also plastic and made of glow in the dark material. To turn this flashlight on or off, one would turn the the lens shroud. I carried mine on me until about February of 1997, when, again, the bulb burned out. Afterwards, I had misplaced it. The last time I saw one of these being sold in stores was in November of 1998, around the time Hurricane Mitch ravaged Central America. The one sold in 1998 came with a fiber optic extension, but mine didn’t.

In June of 1998, I had purchased my first of many and what would become another rare flashlight, the Garrity Mini Rugged Lite. The model number was R300G. Unfortunately a few weeks later, the switch system became bent, so I exchanged it for another one which I had until it fell apart on me. I bought another one in October of 1999, which I had and EDCed until I misplaced it sometime in 2001. The final one of these I had purchased in a store was in June of 2004 at K-Mart on clearance. I had it for a few weeks, but then it was ruined by leaking batteries. I had suffered a mental breakdown between the time of purchasing it and discovering it ruined by leaking batteries. In 2007, I had purchased one directly from Garrity as New Old Stock, but it was different than the usual ones, so I gave it away. In 2011, I was mailed one by a fellow Candle Power Forums member, after he had found out my obsession with that said flashlight. I have since purchased three more on eBay, one I had to repair the switch.

My interest in flashlights was also beginning to take off in 1998, though I kept quiet about it because I was afraid of being harassed by my peers for having an uncommonly avid interest in flashlights.

In September of 1998, around the time of Hurricane Georges, I had purchased a 2 AA Rayovac Value Lite which I had until my late teens.

For Christmas of 1998, one of the gifts I had received was a pack of flashlights that were a Wal Mart house brand. One ran on a single AAA battery and the other ran on 2 AAA batteries. They were made probably of PP and used Krypton bi pin bulbs. Actually they function quite similarly to a Mini Maglite and a Maglite Solitaire and could be used as candles. I had them and even EDCed them on and off until 2001.

In January of 1999 I purchased both a General Electric 2 AA flashlight which was Navy Blue and Yellow and I believe it was geared for automotive use. I also purchased a Sam’s Choice (Wal Mart house brand) 2 AA flashlight which was an obvious knockoff of the Rayovac Industrials that were popular in the 1990s. These were misplaced over the course of growing up.

In March of 2000, I had purchased a Rayovac Industrial bundle pack which featured one 2 D and one 2 AA model sold together. These are now extremely rare as well, especially the 2 AA model. They closely resembled the Eveready Industrial line, unline the modern Rayovac Industrials. Also this 2 AA model came with a KPR104 or a K4 bulb instead of a bi pin bulb which is used on the modern 2 AA Rayovac Industrial flashlights. I wish I knew what happened to mine. As of the early to mid 2010s, there is a flashlight sold at some truck stops, which closely resembles the 1990s and early 2000s 2D Rayovac Industrial and is branded as Penzoil, but is a cheap knockoff.

In 2001 or 2002, my flashlight interest had waned a good bit, not to come back fully until 2005.

In the Summer of 2003, a new library was built which would many times feature interesting collections from local people. There was a collection of flashlights on display and me seeing this caused me to realize that there might be others out there who are interested in flashlights like I am. Prior to this, I was deeply ashamed of my flashlight interest and kept it quiet, in fear of harassment.

In January of 2004, I had just made seventeen and was seeking medical attention for my first of many ear infections. I was given a Cortisone shot and a round of oral antibiotics. While waiting for my prescription to be filled, I was looking around at the flashlights in Wal Mart and purchased a 2 AA Lumilite Industrial II flashlight with a push button switch. I did indeed EDC it for a while and I had it in my tool box until 2007 when it began to malfunction.

In the Summer of 2004, after suffering a mental breakdown, I was closely watched by my parents and didn’t get out much. I had spent many hours on the computer looking at flashlights. The interest was coming back, but slowly.

In October of 2004, Academy Sports and Outdoors opened a store in my area and I went shopping there. That day, I had seen many flashlights that I didn’t even know existed. This would be the beginning of the transition from my interest in pocket sized Industrial flashlights to pocket sized Tactical flashlights. However as I was an unemployed seventeen year old I couldn’t afford any of the tactical flashlights sold at Academy. I will say this though, Academy had a much better selection of flashlight in those days as did Target and even Wal Mart.

In January of 2005, I began to carry a knife on me, except for when I was in school.

Then on May 1, 2005, I was shopping at Wal Mart and saw a Garrity LED Aluminum flashlight. It resembled the Tactical flashlights I had long coveted, but was actually afforable! On May 5, 2005, I purchased it and from that day, I had pretty much carried a flashlight on my person ever since…

Shopping at Target for Gentleman’s EDC Gear

Target can be an excellent place for purchasing a gentleman’s EDC items.

Well, this statement was even more true years ago, but still is somewhat true even today.

I know, most people associate Target shoppers with upscale suburban women, but there are quite a few items in Target that are perfect for a gentleman.

However, as I previously mentioned, this was even more true years ago than today.

Many of my current and former EDC items were purchased at Target.

The first time I shopped at a Target was in August of 2002. I was fifteen and almost three-quarters years old and one had recently been built in my metropolitan area.

My parents brought me along with my brother and sister to check the store out.

I was interested in what electronics were sold there and was a little impressed that they sold the Motorola FRS and GMRS radios, but they were all out of my price range.

Later that day we went to Wal Mart and I purchased a BellSouth 2231 FRS/GMRS transceiver for about $10. I had EDCed this radio, mostly because, I didn’t yet have a working cell phone to keep in touch with family and I also liked to communicate with the maintenance staff at my high school on there. In these days, I didn’t carry a knife or a flashlight, just a two-way radio, believe it or not.

Fast forward to Black Friday, November 29, 2002, my mom, my sister and I went to a few stores just to look around. The only other time I had seen my mom go shopping on Black Friday was in 1992 at Southland Mall. As much as my mom likes shopping, she hates to shop on Black Friday. I was looking around in the sporting goods section at Target and for the first time, I had seen a real Swiss Army Knife in real life. I saw a whole bunch of them, in fact. In those days, Target had a much wider selection of Swiss Army Knives than they currently do. And those sold at Target came bundled with equally useful accessories. More on that in a little bit. Prior to that, I had knock-offs of Swiss Army Knives, but they were all flimsy and dull. I didn’t purchase any that day, because I didn’t have enough money on me and my parents being overprotective would have not been happy if I bought a knife.

I also saw the Swiss backpacks and luggage sold there, but all of those were way out of my price range. I had a very rugged duffel bag which I would take with me whenever I could, so I wasn’t really in need of luggage at the time. This bag’s zipper busted on me sometime in 2007, though, so that is when I began trying different bags to carry my EDC items in.

Fast forward to the Summer of 2005, I had secured a job assisting the maintenance crew at my high school and the way I became friends with them was by talking to them over their radios!

I was eighteen and a half years old and had a good bit of disposable income with no bills, notes or rent to pay. Also since I was eighteen I could own a knife whether or not my parents wanted me to.

After work, many times I would shop at Target in the sporting goods sections. One day, in July of 2005, I purchased my first Swiss Army Knife, a Victorinox Sportsman. At some point, I had upgraded and gave it my best friend and I hope he still has it now.

Also in 2005, my interest in flashlights was coming back. Target had a wide selection of flashlights in their household section and many of them couldn’t be found anywhere else. There were many rugged, Aluminum pocket-sized flashlights sold there that weren’t sold elsewhere. There was Coast brand LED flashlights. There were Mini Maglites in all sorts of exotic colors as well as the standard colors. There were Inova (as in Emissive Energy Corporation, prior to the Nite Ize takeover) flashlights both in plastic and Aluminum that were the brightest LED flashlights at the time. There were also some unique brands such as Rock River or River Rock. Target does not have such a wide selection these days and I think it’s a shame. All of these would have been perfect EDC flashlights for a gentleman’s pocket

On the afternoon of January 27, 2006, I was shopping at my local Target and looking at Swiss Army Knives, which came bundled with very neat and equally useful accessories. The Super Tinker model came with a compact pair of Simmonds Binoculars. The Recruit ii came bundled with a Mini Maglite (which this is where I was initially inspired to pair a Swiss Army Knife with a Mini Maglite, as I believe all gentlemen should EDC these items together.) The Climber came bundled with some high-quality German-made Victorinox Scissors. That is what I had decided to purchase on that afternoon. The package sold for ~$30, but I know the knife alone was worth at least that and the scissors had to be worth another $35-$40, but they were free! My mom sometimes sews in her free time, so I knew these scissors would be perfect for her. I was 100% right too-she still uses them almost thirteen years later at the time I am writing this. In fact, she recently used them to fix the hem on my pants. I would misplace that knife a few days later, but then my mom found it again in December 2010. Since that time, I have kept it in a secure place because of its sentimental value.

In April of 2006, I had some cash given to me as Easter presents from family members, so I was in Target after school and saw an Inova Radiant 2 AA LED flashlight. At the time, Inova manufactured the most advanced LED flashlights or at least in my humble opinion. Also, they were American made, not like today. I still have this flashlight but unfortunately, it doesn’t work anymore. However, this flashlight did come in handy multiple times for the rest of high school and the beginning of trade school. I would sometimes EDC it if I knew I was going to a very dark area or needed a light with a longer run time.

In December of 2006, I purchased from Target a Victorinox Super Tinker with Simmonds Compact Binoculars. I still have both.

Sometime in 2006, Target cleared out all of these Swiss Army Knives with neat and useful accessories and this was a big mistake in my opinion.

In January of 2007, I purchased my first Blue Mini Maglite from Target, as my Black one was getting very beat up. I had it until I misplaced it at some point.

In February of 2009, I was shopping at a Super Target and purchased an Energizer 3 Watt Tactical LED flashlight. I had EDCed both on my job and in leisure time until I traded it to my best friend sometime in early 2010. I hope he still has it.

In July of 2009, I purchased my first Wenger SwissGear backpack until I upgraded with another in March of 2010 and again in September of 2011. All three were purchased at Target.

In March of 2015, I purchased another Energizer 185 Lumen Tactical LED flashlight at a Super Target on Clearance.

Around this time, Target began to stop selling some of the Tactical flashlights they once sold, another big mistake in my opinion.

A year later, in March of 2016, Target quit selling the Mini Maglites, which I was able to get a Silver one on Clearance, for about $4, which I keep in my glove box.

Also, in March of 2016, I ordered a Casio G-Shock Wristwatch, which I wore until June of 2018, but still have.

In April of 2016, I managed to purchase the Victorinox Recruit ii and Mini Maglite bundled together in mint condition on eBay, but this was previously sold at Target a decade before.

In the past two years, most of the flashlights sold at Target were only appropriate for a domestic setting, though there are a few exceptions. Also, their selection of Swiss Army Knives has very much dwindled.

However, the said retailer still carries some decent items that are geared towards gentleman.

For example, in February of 2017, I purchased a Coleman Illumilast 2AAA LED flashlight at a Super Target, which I EDC on and off and I even wrote a blog entry partially about. In November of 2017, I bought another Wenger SwissGear backpack, which I still use AND In December of 2017, I bought a Wenger SwissGear bifold wallet, which I also still use.

There are a few EDC items in the sporting goods section, such as an OutDoor Products tactical LED flashlight with a strike bezel, I purchased one in October of 2018 and currently EDC it, though the pocket clip broke off. Also, a couple of Gerber products are sold in the sporting goods section, such as a Gerber Dime Multitool.

So, Target COULD be a place for a gentleman to buy his EDC gear still but imagine how much better it could be if the retailer would start carrying more items designed for EDC.

I think the company has reasons why they don’t carry some of these items anymore, but my post will become political if I begin to elaborate why.

But how about making Target a place not only for ladies to shop but also for their husbands and boyfriends to come shopping with them and not being bored to tears?

Those are my thoughts and experiences.

I hope, you, the reader, have been informed and entertained…

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A Review of the Texas Instruments TI-12 Math Explorer

As with flashlights, I have had a lifelong fascination with calculators.

I’ve frequently written about them in the past and I always carry one or two in my edc backpack.

This piece will be me reviewing a calculator that I formerly edced from 2012 to about 2016, the Texas Instruments TI-12 Math Explorer. It was initially introduced in 1987 revised in 1989, 1991, 1993 and finally 1997 (the version which I own) and still being produced by the mid-2000s, (mine came off the assembly line in February of 2005) despite an upgraded version, the TI-15 being released in February of 2000.

By the way, I would like to extend a big thank you to the wonderful people at the Datamath Calculator Museum for the photo of this calculator. I do not own the photo.

They are an excellent source of reference material pertaining to calculators and I have spent countless hours on that site, enriching my brain.

There are three to four other items which I had carried in conjunction with this calculator and they are a Blue Incandescent Mini Maglite flashlight, a Black Mini Maglite LED Pro flashlight (serial number: PG000107905), a single coping blade Cabon Steel Klein Electrician’s knife and sometimes a Black 3 D Cell Incandescent Maglite flashlight (serial number: D3049220554.)

The TI-Math Explorer was designed for elementary and middle school use. However, my sixth and seventh-grade math teacher (same person for both grades, Mrs. Phyllis Holman) was teaching us some cool math that was way ahead of the curriculum and was somehow able to get our parents to buy us each a TI-30 for her class!

In sixth grade, I used one of the many hand me down calculators that my mom’s students had discarded.

For seventh grade, I was able to convince my mom to buy me a brand new TI-30 XIIS (double line 1999 version), which I would carry in my pocket both during school and in the off hours. I would indeed sometimes carry it, but I didn’t everyday carry it.

When I was in school, I kept it in my school bag. When I was out of school, I kept it in my toolbox.

I had this calculator well into eighth grade then I misplaced it during the summer between eighth and ninth grade.

I had, believe it or not, lost interest in calculators (as well as flashlights) by this point!

It was in eighth grade that I had first learned about the TI-12 Math Explorer.

My math teacher and distant cousin, Mister Clarence Joseph Tastet, had several in his classroom which he would loan out to the students.

I never needed one of his calculators because I always had my TI-30 in his class.

By the way, one of Mr. Tastet’s amusing quirks was that he very matter of factly said, “Uh…Calculators don’t bounce!” every time a calculator fell on the floor.

He left Vandebilt Catholic High School after teaching me.

Many of the students were so durn ugly to him, I guess it was because of his temper and his no-nonsense approach to teaching. Even though we are like fourth cousins, we have the exact same temper when provoked. By the way, I will say that if you knew him outside of the classroom, he’s a really cool person and extremely smart.

At some point, I had even joked that VCHS’s math department had purchased the TI-Math Explorer in bulk because they matched the said school’s colors.

At the end of my sophomore year, I had found a gently used TI-83 Plus with no name in it, so I was able to keep it.

I would be needing one anyway for the next two math courses I was required to take.

Having this calculator briefly reignited my interest in calculators, but mostly for playing games.

During recess and class if we had free time, I would play games which I had downloaded, like 1943, Mario, Harvest Moon, and Duck Hunt. Of course, I also had to download the Mirage Operating System in order to run games written in the Assembly language on the TI-83 and TI-84 models.

I only got chewed out twice, believe it or not.

During my junior year, I had twice found a TI-Math Explorer laying on the floor.

Both times, there were the owners’ names written on the instruction card

One of them belonged to senior Katherine Mohana, which I immediately returned to her.

I forget whom the other one had belonged to, but I promptly returned that one as well.

Even back then, I guess I had fervently believed in always trying to be kind and honest.

Probably what reinforced this behavior, was that there were signs all over the school which boldly stated, “Practice Random Acts of Kindness.”

By the way, those signs should be placed in every school at every level of education, because they obviously work!

Around my senior year, I had begun to secretly covet a TI-12 Math Explorer.

However, there was only one place that sold them locally and they wanted over $25 for one.

That place was Lee’s Educational Supply in the Historical District of Downtown Houma.

Wal-Mart, Target, Office Depot/Max and even Radio Shack sold calculators that were considerably more powerful (TI-30, TI-34 and TI-36), not to mention their Casio and Sharp counterparts and the knock-off versions all for somewhat less, than what Lee’s Supply was charging for a TI-12 Math Explorer so I had hung up the idea of purchasing one.

I had other interests at the time such as collecting knives and radio equipment. My flashlight interest was also coming back. So that is what I focused my spending cash on.

Fast forward to around the age of twenty-five. I was frequently helping family, friends and now ex in-laws perform household and automotive do it yourself projects.

I was not the expert in the group, except when working on electrical or HVAC equipment, but I soon realized that a calculator which could do arithmetic with fractions, mixed numbers and decimals would be extremely useful.

Sometimes knowledge on what size socket was needed or a piece of wood needed to be cut to a precise amount or just basic arithmetic for a construction or electrical formula needed to be quickly carried out.

In November of 2012 or so, I had seen a used TI-Math Explorer in pristine condition selling for $6.99 with free shipping on eBay.

I had just enough money in my checking account, so I happily purchased it!

It came in the mail a few days later and I had begun heavily using it.

The TI-Math Explorer, while intended to be a classroom calculator, fit the bill perfectly.

Not only could it quickly convert fractions to decimals as well as add, subtract, multiply or divide fractions, decimals, and mixed numbers, it was rugged enough to be carried in a backpack or tool satchel.

It can also do exponents and has a Pi approximation constant of with a precision of 3.1415927, which is featured in lower end scientific calculators.

Furthermore, it runs strictly on solar power, which means it never needs batteries, nor will it be damaged by a leaking battery!

Due to the calculator’s rugged construction, which was to encourage use in the schoolyard, the solar cells and LCD were very protected, it made the perfect calculator for a tradesman or do it your selfer, which is virtually an unrealized market!

The keys and cabinet are made of hard plastic and it comes with a handy cover for protection when being carried or not in use.

I am, however, the only person I know of though, that used a TI-Math Explorer in a non-classroom setting.

In June of 2014, I had bought a Texas Instruments TI-36 X Pro, mainly for assistance in my experiments with weather instruments, but also for weight conversions when going to the doctor and assisting me with computer and radio scanner programming (the little that I know.)

I had kept my Math Explorer in my edc backpack though and would still use it up until about 2016.

In 2016, I had purchased a Craftsman Satchel to put all of my Craftsman tools and easily carry them whenever I needed to make a repair or assist in making a repair and I ended up placing my Math Explorer and all of the aforementioned gadgets I had carried with it in that bag.

In 2018, I had placed it and other gadgets that are sentimental to me in a tactical MOLLE pouch, that I keep near my bed.

For years, I had been wanting Texas Instruments to produce some calculators for tradespeople as other companies had done.

Lord knows their calculators are built very well, perform with high accuracy and precision not to mention they are very easy to use.

However, my opinion isn’t important enough and if it was, Victorinox would have also made a high precision thermometer for people working in the HVAC and food service industry and other companies would have made some cool gadgets that I had suggested.

When I was an HVAC student, I was playing with the idea of teaching myself machine language to write an app for graphing calculators for use in the HVAC field.

My professor, by the way, thought this was a brilliant idea, however, smartphones have become so common that they are used in place of calculators out in the field by tradespeople.

This calculator, The TI-12 Math Explorer goes above and beyond its original call of duty and my experiences with it are indeed very valid proof.

I give it a rating of 5 stars!

I guess I have a way of finding a use for devices where they turn out to be perfect solutions for situations which they were never really marketed far.

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