The History of my Attraction to Bigger Females

NOTE I know that I originally wrote this in the latter parts of 2017, but I am modifying it for 2020…

My name is Eric John Monier and I am attracted to plus-sized and super-sized women.

Those of you who know me well enough are already very much aware of this.

In this piece, I will attempt to explain to you, the reader, of my attraction to bigger girls, women, and ladies as well as the history of it.

I don’t know exactly why I am attracted to this body type, but a woman with a soft belly, thick thighs, plump caboose and ample sized breasts in addition to a pretty face will drive me crazy in a lot of very good ways.

I used to not be attracted to bigger girls in my preteen years and up to age thirteen. I guess because the few that I had come across always had explosive tempers. I was so ignorant and close-minded at the time that I never put two and two together that maybe the reason that they had such tempers was from all the harassment they endured. I should have been able to figure this out because I was harassed quite a bit, myself, and yes, for a time it did cause me to be mean, but for whatever reason, I never put the pieces together. I feel terrible about what I used to say back in those days and I will NOT repeat it here. One downside of having a razor-sharp memory is remembering all the bad things I ever said and done, sometimes more than the good.

Since age fourteen or fifteen, my attitude began to drastically change, however, but I wasn’t out of the closet about this attraction until I sixteen or seventeen. And I wasn’t public about it until age nineteen.

I think the first time I was attracted to a plus-sized girl was when I was in seventh grade, at Saint Mary’s Nativity School. She was in sixth. I was harassed a lot at that school, but this girl always smiled at me, was very nice to me and even laughed at my jokes. I never asked her out because I knew if I did, I would be harassed even more for going out with her. I won’t reveal her name, even though I remember it well. I’m glad she’s married now likewise, I hope and pray that her husband adores her as she ought to be.

Fast forward to eighth grade, February 20, 2002, I was at a pep rally and two boys were trying to pick a fight with me. A beautiful plus-sized girl was standing near me in the bleachers shouting for them to “stop” and that they were “so mean.” After that day, I had a major crush on her that would last throughout high school. The only reason why I never tried to approach her, again, was fear of what others may think of me. I remember her name as well, but I won’t reveal it. She’s married now and has children, and, my God, I hope her husband treats her like the wonderful queen she is.

A little about my weight history:
In August of 2002, I was wrongfully and forcefully medicated on a terrible drug known as Risperdal. As a result, I gained a little weight. Before this, I was very underweight (5’4″ 100-115 pounds), but now I was slightly overweight (5’6″ 160-170 pounds.) I guess, because of this, I thought it would be more acceptable to date a bigger girl. However, none were interested in me or other cases, we had mutually planted each other in that wretched old “friend zone.”

On March 15, 2003, at the age of sixteen, I was attracted to a plus-sized girl who I later found out was a couple of months my senior. This was the first time I made a pass at a plus-sized girl. She accepted but then broke up with me a day later at the urging of her parents. This hurt resulted in my first time getting drunk.

In late March or early April of 2003, I was taken off all medication and maybe lost a little weight as a result.

Also in April of 2003, I discovered writing as many of you know.

In that wonderful summer of 2003, at the age of sixteen and a half, I had become known as a romantic writer by my peers and had a secret webpage displaying my work. I had other webpages as well and a fourteen-going-on-fifteen-year-old girl had contacted me online and we began a steamy online and texting relationship. She was slightly plus-sized, but I thought she was so beautiful and she thought I was cute. We also had similar sexual kinks, even though we were only minors, of which I won’t publicly disclose. Unfortunately, I lost all contact with her in the latter parts of 2004, but I do remember her name. It would be wonderful to find her again.

Fast forward to between June 14 and 17, 2004, I suffered a mental breakdown and was put on that wretched medication, Risperdal, once again. By December of 2004, I weighed around 198 pounds.

In January of 2005, I was now eighteen and put on an anti-convulsant, used off label as a mood stabilizer, Topamax, in addition to what I was already taking. This caused a dramatic amount of weight loss in a short amount of time. By that April, I was 5’6″ and 122 pounds!

Even though I had lost a lot of weight, I remained attracted to plus-sized women and girls. I don’t know why.

Unfortunately, none of them felt the same about me.

I was in an online and phone relationship with one girl, from September 2005 to December of 2005 but she was very skinny and tall. One of the reasons, but not the main reason why I ended it was because she was indeed too skinny. I feel so terrible admitting this though.

It was now late January of 2006 and I was on a more weight neutral medication known as Geodon. I also became very vocal about my attraction to bigger members of the opposite sex. I figured if people wanted to distance themselves from me because of this, I didn’t need them in my life anyway.

I was a senior in high school and there was one plus-sized girl, a freshman, whom I had a crush on. I think she liked me too, but I’m not 100% sure. Many people told me to pursue her, but while I highly revered and respected her and wouldn’t dare do anything sinful or illegal with her, I was still afraid of catching various charges. In December 2006, a few months after I graduated, I went on one semi-date with her at the mall, but we ended up freaking each other out. We remained good enough friends, until the latter parts of 2017. Also, from August to December of 2006, I had dated a few plus-sized young ladies, but never really got close to any of them and the relationships always ended in disaster.

On January 7, 2007, I had just made twenty a few days prior was working at my local grocer, pushing buggies in the parking lot. I saw a beautiful plus sized girl walking into the store. Soon all the buggies were picked up and I resumed bagging groceries. She went up to the cashiers of whom we mutually happened to be friends with and asked for them to tell her where the tuna fish (not remoulade sauce-ha) was located. Before bagging groceries and pushing buggies (which is more fun in my book), I was a stocker. Therefore I had an intimate knowledge of where everything was located in the store. I kindly offered to show this young lady where the tuna fish was located. We walked to the tuna fish aisle together and she placed several cans in her buggy. Then I resumed bagging groceries, but asked the two cashiers if they knew that girl and if so how old was she. They told me her name and her age (nineteen.) I had them print out a blank receipt and I wrote my two phone numbers on it. They then handed it to her. As she was leaving the store, I told her to call me and that I get off at five. On my way home, my phone rang and it was her. She invited me over to her parents’ house and we have been together until January 18, 2018. We got married three years and two days after we met and but our divorce was finalized on October 11, 2018. She didn’t like being plus size, but every time she complained about it, I told her how if she was skinny I would have never given her my number, to begin with.

In the summer of 2007 until April of 2010, I took Abilify and gained 100 pounds. I used to joke that the weight gain was an STI from then-girlfriend, later wife, now ex-wife. Since April of 2010, I’ve taken Geodon, though I tried other medications but usually no longer than a week.

I had talked to several women post leaving my now ex-wife and most of them were either plus-sized or super-sized. However, none of those relationships progressed very far. One was even skinny but lied and said she was a BBW, but we mutually ghosted each other.

Another was beautiful and super-sized, but because of our location distance, she put me in the friend zone which I now accept and we are still good friends to this day.

In the latter parts of 2018, I met and fell in love with a beautiful and sweet super-sized young lady. She treated me like a king and I treated her like a queen. We vindicated and complimented each other in many ways. And not only that we were madly attracted to each other physically! No one had ever made me so happy before or since. However, she called it quits on me on December 4, 2019. I was crushed, devastated and heartbroken. No one in my eyes could ever measure up to her, no not even close, and I even told her that every day. I was very serious about being true to her to the point that I found myself acting the way televangelist Billy Graham acted towards his wife, even though she and I never were even engaged. We were, however, talking very seriously about marriage, until she called it quits. However, this happened for a reason and I know The Lord has someone else for me, I just have to wait on Him. I just pray that she is either at least plus-sized or preferably super-sized. I would not be happy with a skinny or muscular woman nor would I try to make such a woman gain weight because I see that as a form of abuse to her.

I don’t like being overweight that much. I know it makes me look younger at times, but it is unhealthy for sure and makes me feel tired all the time. I guess I am a perfect hypocrite, because, while I don’t like being like this, I’m attracted to women who are. And as long as she has a pretty face, the bigger the better! Still, I definitely would not want to suddenly one day not be attracted to bigger women because then a part of me would die. I wouldn’t be myself anymore. What the Internet has taught me more than anything else is that I am not alone in any of my interests or attractions and there are a lot of other guys who are also attracted to plus-sized women.

Bigger women most certainly deserve to be loved too, and from what I’ve found out there are a lot of guys besides myself who are willing to love and adore them just as they should be loved and adored!

Body Shaming is Cruel Unnecessary and Obsolete and I hate being body-shamed when it does happen to me.  However, I am usually able to just brush it off. I don’t do it to anyone, regardless of size, because I try to see the soul of a person instead.  However, being a carnal human being, I tend to be nicer to a plus-sized or super-sized woman, than someone of different features in any given situation that arises.  I know this is wrong, but I am not perfect and never claimed to be.

I guess this concludes my piece on my attraction to bigger females.  I hope you, the reader, have got something out of this and now see that beauty is literally in the eyes of the beholder.

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Childhood Memories

I do indeed have a sharp childhood memory. As a matter of fact, I can recall events that occurred even in my infancy.

I don’t know if my memory is so sharp and vivid because of the mental conditions of which I am afflicted or if it is because my Mom took lots of pictures during those days and frequently showed them to me. Most likely it is a combination of these two factors.

My powerful memory is both a blessing and a curse as I can vividly recall both the pleasant as well at the abhorrent memories throughout my life. I get flashbacks from all points of my life at least several times a week and many times much more frequently than that.

In my very early childhood, my parents would bring me to visit my Maternal Grandmother weekly. She resided in the New Orleans suburb of Metairie. Many times we would go into the City of New Orleans itself because of the many attractions it has to offer. One of my earliest memories is riding in the car with my parents on Magazine Street where it transitions between Uptown and Downtown. It was a sunny day in the mid to late afternoon when both the sun and the moon were up. I didn’t know it was Magazine Street until over twenty years later when I was riding on there with my now ex-wife and her sister. The amazing thing is the sky conditions were almost identical to that day in my infancy and the flashback happened. I, however, had that flashback several times in my childhood while playing on the playground in grade school. This happened the first time in Pre Kindergarten but occurred again in Third Grade. Again, it was always on sunny days in the mid to late afternoon when both the sun and moon were up.

For whatever reason, Blue Jays would frequent my Maternal Grandmother’s neighborhood in Metairie, Louisiana. Those particular avians make a distinctive sound when they call. I didn’t realize it was a Blue Jay that made that particular sound until my early thirties. I was in the neighborhood of which I grew up, visiting family, and I heard that ever so familiar bird sound, so I hurried outside to see if I could find out what type of bird made that sound. I then saw a Blue Jay perched in a Sweet Olive tree making that sound and I finally knew what type of bird made that sound. Currently, I have a crow call as the sound effect of which I use when I get a text or email. However, now I think I will search for a Blue Jay sound effect to use for my text alert since I associate it with that neighborhood. But right now I need to focus on getting this into text. Anyway, I heard that Blue Jay sound throughout my childhood and I always associated that sound with my Maternal Grandmother’s neighborhood. You, the reader, can just about guess how tickled pink I was when I found out about the “City Bird” ringtone that was featured on most Nokia phones in my teens and very early twenties. That ringtone indeed triggered the memory and was quite fitting!

Both my Maternal Grandmother’s house and the school I attended in childhood were within earshot of a mainline railroad line. In the case of my Grandmother’s house, it was Illinois Central then later Candian National DBA Illinois Central. As for the school, it was Southern Pacific, but then later Burlington Northern Santa Fe` after the Union Pacific-Southern Pacific merger. Because trains run every day and night, I was frequently woken up by trains when sleeping at my grandma’s house. At school, we would hear the trains going through Raceland on days when it was neither too hot nor cold to run the climate controls and therefore the teacher would open the windows. One day in either 1996 or 1997, my teacher pointed out the sound of the train whistle and I commented about my Grandmother’s house in Metairie. I had been highly interested in trains as a very young child, but the interest went away at some point. It briefly came back at the age of 16 but didn’t come back fully until I was 24. Talking about all of this makes me want to go on a foaming trip and I indeed would if I had a more reliable vehicle and money for gasoline. I haven’t gone foaming to say foaming at all in all of 2020 as of March 16, though I do listen to railroad traffic on my scanners a couple of times out of the week.

In sixth and seventh grade I and a few other students would do enrichment while most of the other students would go to band class. One of the activities we did was play educational games on the computer. There was one game, in particular, Math for the Real World. It was about a traveling band that would raise money by the player solving math problems. There was a diner in that game which the band would always stop at and the waitress spoke in a heavy Brooklyn/New Orleans Y’at accent. The waitress would always say, “Park it there, doll!” Of course, I think it would have been much funnier if the waitress would have said, “Park is there, dahlin!” It always reminded me of how the white people from New Orleans talked and I got a kick out of it. By the way, the reason why the white people from New Orleans sound like the white people from Brooklyn, according to a former neighbor of mine is that the overwhelming majority of the white children in New Orleans attended Catholic schools and spoke no English natively. Well, a detachment of nuns from Brooklyn went down to New Orleans to teach in those Catholic schools and they taught them how to speak English but in the Brooklyn dialect. So, that is the theory I accept as to why white people from New Orleans sound like white people from Brooklyn. This also is a factor in my very unique accent. I only know of one other young man who sounds like me and he grew up in a similar linguistic environment. My Mom is from the New Orleans area of Louisiana but my Dad is from Cajun/Bayou Country. I grew up in Cajun/Bayou Country but in my Mom’s younger days, she still sounded much like a Y’at. I grew up hearing both of my parents talk and I sound like a combination of both of them. In grade school, I was told a time or two that I don’t sound Cajun like the rest of the students. Another time I was at a grocer in Mississippi and I was asked if I was from up north. Another time I was at a KFC in Northeast Texas and two black gentlemen said they could tell I was from Louisiana by how I spoke but they assumed I was Creole, which to my knowledge I am not. I get it, I don’t sound like the rest of those around me. I’m self-conscious of my voice and therefore I blog instead of getting on YouTube. I think I have a better command of the written word than the spoken word though, so it works out for the best. Anyway, there was a song in that computer game known as “Are We There Yet?” and it describes the electrical, chemical and mechanical processes of how an automobile functions. That was my favorite song track on that game when I played it because, at the time, I was highly fascinated by how cars worked but came from a very non-mechanical family. So I never got to work on them growing up and at this point in my life, I am extremely nervous with cars. Electricity doesn’t phase me, but I am careful. HVAC doesn’t phase me (that’s my only formal training.) And computers do not phase me because I taught myself how to work on them. But I won’t attempt to work on a car except for very minor repairs. I also went to schools, at least until I got to trade school, where blue-collar trade work was looked down upon.

I wish I could continue to write, but my head is pounding at the moment. I want to seek medical attention for these headaches because they are getting more and more frequent. However, I am afraid that seeking medical attention will result in more harm than good at this point, because of this gosh durn Coronavirus going around. I’ll just ask my brothers and sisters in Christ to pray for me and hopefully, soon I can revisit this subject and if I do, I will post it.

I guess this, therefore, concludes my piece on childhood memories though I wish I could have gone into more details than I did.

I still thank you for reading and hope you, the reader, have been informed and entertained.

May God richly bless you!

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Yes, I launched my blog on October 6, 2016, exactly one month following the very untimely death of another aspiring writer.

Today, March 2, 2020, would have been the seventeenth birthday of that fellow aspiring writer.

She was an amazing person named Autumn Elizabeth Fuller, who was my ex-wife’s niece and, at the time, my niece by marriage.

It wasn’t until her funeral service that I found how exactly how much she wanted to be a writer and I was very touched because I knew that I had at least some influence on that writing career choice of hers.

She knew I was also an aspiring writer and would sometimes casually tell me about the names of her characters along with some of the plots in her stories and I would try my best to encourage her. Also, I would tell her about the stories I wrote that were age-appropriate for her. I remember how excited she would get when told her those stories.

I think she truly enjoyed our talks about writing, but as I’ve said before, I didn’t realize how much she wanted to be a writer until I attended her funeral and heard those eulogizing her.  I did, however, control the sound system in back of the church.

In the days and weeks following her funeral, I felt ridden with guilt that here was someone who wanted to actually pursue a real career in writing and with the right training and practice had plenty of potentials then her life is tragically cut short. And yet here I am still alive but living on a pension and writing some, but just showing a few friends and not making any real use of my talent. That guilt I felt was the catalyst for me to decide to launch my blog. As I’ve stated before, I did so exactly one month after her very untimely death.

I did indeed launch this blog and I do contribute to it on the regular. I do have quite a few subscribers but I would like to make more of a difference.  I wish I could be a published author without losing my pension and therefore my medical coverage.

What really amazed me about all of this is that she was born in 2003, the same year I had first tried my hand at writing.

I don’t think she ever read my Original Stories from 2003 because Expage was taken down and I don’t recall ever telling them to her, but looking back, maybe I should have. Maybe she could have been inspired to write similar and provided many wonderful things for her peers like I did. But then again, she was thirteen when she passed and I was sixteen when I started writing, so maybe our maturity levels were different then again maybe not.

While I am no longer part of that family, mostly due to irreconcilable differences and the fact that my now ex-wife and I came from two completely different cultures forever at odds with one another. I, however, wish them no ill.  And I even find myself praying for them, now!

I wish that Autumn would have lived and gone on to be much more successful than I.

She definitely had the potential to.

I don’t know the mind of God especially on how He decides who should live and who should die, but more than ever, I need to share my talent with the world, any which way I am able to.

In conclusion, I want to wish Autumn a Happily Heavenly Birthday!

That is all for now.

Thank you for reading!

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I am a Self-Taught Computer Technician

I’ve mentioned it before, but in case you, the reader, didn’t already know, I am a self taught computer technician.

I taught myself how to fix computers initially out of necessity, but now soup up old computers as a hobby.

My fascination with computers can be traced back to the late 1980s when I was a toddler.

The first time I ever saw a computer was either in late 1988 or some time in 1989 when I was shopping with my parents at the Sears in Southland Mall (which is located in Bayou Cane/Houma, Louisiana.)

It wasn’t until I was seven years old that I had found out that there was such a thing as home computers.

Some of my classmates had them, but my family didn’t.

We briefly had a home computer in the Summer of 1998 but didn’t permanently have one until the Summer of 2000.

The model my parents purchased as a family computer, looking back was pretty pathetic, even for the late 1990s and early 2000s.

I don’t remember the exact model number, but it was a Gateway Essential

The specs were:
15 GB Hard Drive (later upgraded to 20 GB.)
64 MB of Ram (later upgraded to 192 MB.)
566 MHz Intel Celeron Processor.
DVD ROM Drive (a CD-RW drive was later added.)
56K Dial-Up PCI Slot Modem (an Ethernet card was later added.)
Only 2 USB Ports
PS/2 Keyboard and Mouse Ports
If I remember correctly the graphics (VGA 600X800 at best), sound and game adapter cards were all part of the mother board.
And if those specs were not cruddy enough, it ran Windows 98 Second Edition.

We made due with this computer from July of 2000 until some time in 2008.

Let me say that I didn’t have a car until the Summer of 2006, and was basically home unless at a school function, so my social life, my reading, my writing, my entertainment and my research were all done on this computer. I used it probably more than any other family member.

We didn’t have adequate virus protection and starting in 2003, began subscribing to cable broadband Internet so, this machine was frequently crashing.

When it did, I would fix it. My parents are fiscally conservative, especially when it comes to technology, if you haven’t figured that out already.

They are also pretty ignorant with technology, so I took it upon myself to fix it.

At first, it was with Gateway Technical Support over the phone, where they would walk me through reformatting the computer.

After doing it enough times, I was able to do it without help from tech support.

This was the beginning of me becoming a self-taught computer technician. I mean my source of many good things in my life was dependent on it.

So it is quite possible that had my parents owned a better computer, I may not have needed to teach myself how to fix computers.

I had known about Linux since 2001, while reading about it in a computer magazine in my school library.

I didn’t actually try it until 2005 when a friend gave me a live boot-able copy of Ham Shack Linux, which I would run on that said machine.

The ease and efficiency of Linux definitely caught my interest back then.

There was no need for hardware drivers everything was plug and play.

There was also no need for virus protection!

This also began my hate relationship with Windows that continues to this very day!

In December of 2005 I had purchased a gently used, but ten year old IBM Think Pad 365E, mostly for writing my stories but also for playing old games. I modified it to run MS-DOS 6.22. Had I known about FreeDOS, I would have loaded it on there.

From the help of a computer professor over the phone, I learned how to make partitions and modify boot sequences in the BIOS memory. This was in March of 2006 or so.

I had that laptop until December of 2006 and I wish I could have kept it.

Also around 2005 and 2006, I began to teach myself how to build computers and mix and match parts.

One of these days I am going to build one from scratch.

But in late December of 2006, I purchased a Compaq/HP Laptop which ran Windows XP Media Center Edition and could be upgraded to Windows Vista.

This is the machine that I discovered WiFi on.

However, it could only do 802.11 a and b.

Then it killed on me in 2008. My family’s Gateway also finally killed on us around this time as well.

My Mom bought a Hewlett Packard in early 2009, which ran Windows 7 and was a good machine until it became bogged down with viruses.

Early in 2009, I had purchased an Asus Eee PC 900A netbook.

It has some decent specs for its size and price:
WiFi built in 802.11 b and g.
1.3 Megapixel WebCam
8 GB solid state drive.
USB and Ethernet ports.

I would have it until 2016 and it was one of the best computers I ever owned.

In December of 2010, it was extremely bogged down with viruses, so I finally figured out how to write an .ISO image to a flash drive and modify the boot sequence.

I ended up installing JoliOS 1.2 which served me very well for over a year. I also installed JoliOS 1.2 on my Mom’s Hewlett Packard.

By the way, it was ruined by a power surge following Hurricane Issac in 2012.

I gave my Dad an older Dell to use which a friend had given me.

He had it until 2019

I subsequently used other versions of operating systems, all from the Linux family on that computer.

In 2015, I finally purchased an Android smartphone. This allows me to Google for a solution when I am working on a computer and I come aross a hiccup.

That was a huge milestone, because before, I needed another computer as well as an Internet connection to get a solution when things didn’t go right.

In 2016, I began to put together a kit of tools that I EDC for my computer repair hobby. The featured image on this pages shows what I am carrying as of February 2020. These tools are kept in a special compartment of my EDC backpack.

In 2018, through most of 2019, I had attended a church and fixed the computers of several members.

By this point in my life, I had obtained a reputation as a computer guru.

There are several friends who come to me when they need their computers fixed and usually I am able to do it.

Now as of 2020, I frequently find myself restoring older computers and making them useful again.

This usually entails me taking a Windows computer and reformatting the hard drive or solid state drive with a version of Linux that has modern functionality but runs well on the hardware. Sometimes I will also upgrade the RAM chips or disk drives.

I wish I would have had this knowledge and skill when I was a teenager. I could have made that old Gateway run like a high spec machine, but if it wasn’t for that cruddy old Gateway, I may never have taught myself how to fix computers to begin with.

I hope to fix computers for the rest of my life because it is a fun and useful hobby.

I know I can also bless other who otherwise cannot afford a new computer but will make their machines run like new.

If it wasn’t for me being dependent on several expensive medications, I would try to make a career out of this, because it is something I can do from dawn til dusk or until those medications kick in, then I am dead to the world for twelve to fourteen hours. However, I would be self employed and have to worry about health insurance. We do need some serious reforms in this country and Obamacare doesn’t cut it!

I guess this concludes my piece on how I am indeed a self taught computer technician. I need to take those medications right now, actually.

So, I hope you, the reader, have been informed and entertained.

Thank you for reading!

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The First Time I saw “Ghostbusters”

I had known about the Ghostbusters movies since early childhood. However, I didn’t watch them until I was 27 years old. This piece will be my recollection of the first time I watched the original Ghostbusters movie and other events that happened on that day. By the way, I happened to take a selfie later that evening and that is my featured image. I was living in the Sugarland Subdivision of Raceland, Louisiana.

It was a sunny and mild day in late May of 2014. I believe it was either the 21st or the 27th.

My then-wife now ex-wife was laying down in bed and sleeping. I was sitting in the living room, listening to music on Pandora when I got the idea to stream a movie on Netflix. So, using the Roku Box, I pulled up Netflix and searched for movies. Then I saw that the original Ghostbusters from 1984 was available, so I took a chance and began watching it. The movie had my undivided attention, which very few movies do. I turned off the lights and closed all the blinds and watched. As I watched, I had realized that I was watching it on the thirty-year anniversary of the film’s release. I also was amazed by the technology, which seemed advanced for 1984. And I was particularly amused at Egon’s fondness for junk food. I finished the movie in one sitting, completely satisfied. This is the exact reaction all movies should have with their viewers!

Around the conclusion of the movie, my then-wife woke up from her nap and reminded me that I had to drive her to her nephew’s baseball game which was being held on the northern outskirts of Houma, Louisiana. Well, I figured I could find something to do since I never did like sports.

It was starting to get dark after the conclusion of the game, so I went to a truck stop for fuel, candy, and drinks. My then-wife caught me checking out a plus-sized female security guard at the truck stop but she didn’t hold it against me. For the record, she checked out guys all the time and was even vocal about it in front of my family, which was totally embarrassing for me. I had purchased an iced coffee and a Mister Goodbar, two things I would frequently purchase at this truck stop until my peanut allergy became increasingly worse. I forget what snack and drink my now ex-wife purchased.

Dusk had fallen and it was getting darker and darker. We drove back home and were now in Sugarland once again.

A truck had veered off the main highway and into a ditch in front of Sugarland Shopping Center. I got out of my car and attempted to assist those involved in the incident. The sun had almost completely set by this point, but I was carrying a 2 AAA sized Mini Maglite LED which was rated for 84 Lumens. That number 84 came up again! Some items had fallen out of the truck but I was able to locate them in the ditch which was thankfully dry. Then another good Samaritan came with cables and pulled the truck out of the ditch. I lit up the whole operation with my flashlight and I also directed traffic around the incident. An impatient motorist or two cursed me lower than a dog and I won’t repeat what they said.

Once everything was back to normal, I got in my car and drove home along with my then-wife, now ex-wife.

At some point later that evening I took a selfie and posted it to social media. That selfie is the featured image for this post. I was 27 at the time but could have probably passed off as 17, you decide.

Later that evening I took my medicine and eventually went to sleep, happy that I would be getting paid in just a few days. In the next few months, I would come to write and purchase some wonderful things. I would also watch the 1989 sequel to Ghostbusters on basic cable at my now ex-in-laws place that summer.

Ghostbusters is definitely one of my favorite movies, though it took me so long to actually get around to watching it. I’m also wondering if it had any inspiration for Goosebumps since the movie reminded me of an adult version of the television adaptations. I also frequently watched those on Netflix.

Now, this, I guess, therefore concludes my piece detailing the time I watched Ghostbusters for the first time. I hope you, the reader, have been informed and entertained.

Thank you for reading!

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Why would I EDC a Weather Radio?

I get different reactions when I show off the items I EDC.

While, like most, I usually carry a tactical flashlight and some sort of metal tool or knife along with my keys, wallet, smartphone, and a wristwatch. My psychiatrist refuses to clear me for a concealed weapon carrying permit, but one day I might open carry my Ruger LCP. Without getting too political, I am absolutely 100% opposed to any and all forms of gun control!

As a Christian, I also carry a copy of God’s Holy Word, namely, the Bible. For doing so I get kudos from fellow believers and mockery or even hostility from worldly or lost people, but that is totally expected.

I frequently carry a scanner radio, but no one really bats an eye about that. In public, I am frequently mistook for a firefighter when I carry it.

There are two items I carry that frequently raise questions from others in the EDC community.

One item is a calculator which I can easily explain and most will accept the answer. After all, I’ve been fascinated by calculators almost as long as I have been fascinated by flashlights and that is since infancy. As a high school math teacher, my Mom EDCs a calculator or two for work, though in reality, she eschews them. However, she is the reason why I became fascinated by calculators. My Dad was a banking executive when I was born and I don’t know if he ever carried a calculator or not, because he was laid off from the bank a few months after my birth. He then switched careers and eventually became a special education teacher. Even though my Dad was a sporting goods salesman for a couple years during the career change, he isn’t into EDC at all. His Dad, my Paw Paw, was into EDC at least to some degree, although he only owned extremely budget-friendly items. My Maw Maw also carried a flashlight in her purse for as long as I knew her, until she became a shut in and passed on December 28, 2019. At one point I’m almost sure she had an old school Pelican MityLite 1900! There were always calculators around though while I was growing up and I had been carrying one on and off since the age of eight. So, even though I am fascinated by calculators, when asked why I carry them, I can quickly justify and have done so.

Another item that I continuously EDC is a pocket-sized weather radio. While no one has directly questioned my motives as to why I do so, I’m sure I at least get eye rolls when I post pictures of mine or pull it out and listen.

In this piece, I am going to give a testimony on why I personally carry a weather radio and while I don’t expect you, the reader, to follow suit, maybe my reasons for doing so will be better understood.

Let’s go back to the Summer of 1990. I was three and a half and my brother and sister were a few months old. My Mom was off from teaching school, but my Dad was at work, working as a sporting goods salesman. There had been some storms going on all day. My Mom had baked home-made biscuits earlier in the day. It’s something, I can fry chicken almost identical to Colonel Sanders Original Recipe and my Mom can bake biscuits almost identical to Popeye’s Buttermilk Biscuits. I taught myself how to fry chicken that way, mostly through trial and error but also by God’s Grace. However, my Mom got her biscuit recipe from an old Catholic monk. The storms had gotten progressively worse during the day, then our electricity was disrupted. At some point, it became dark as night though it was only midday. My Mom gathered us into the center of the house and we sat there by the light of an Eveready Commander 6 Volt Lantern. The model number was 5122.

Though I was always afraid of the weather, I don’t remember being too frightened. I think it was because I was holding a flashlight and even back then I was fascinated by flashlights. I stood in the hall eating a biscuit.

We had no idea if there was actually a tornado present because we had no weather radio.

There was a Sears transistorized AM/FM radio that was put away, but I guess my Mom was probably more focused on getting all of us to safety rather than looking for that radio.

Even if my Mom would have been able to locate that transistor radio, the battery could have very well been dead. There was no way of us to know when the Tornado Warning, if any, had expired.

At some point, the sky lightened up and the electricity came back on and I guess we took this as the all-clear.

Looking back, this probably had an impact on me and is most likely was caused me to have a compelling desire to be accurately informed.

As I am writing this, I am reminded that back in the day, weather radios were somewhat of a status symbol, associated only with the affluent. I mean they were heavily marketed to golfers, of which playing golf during a thunderstorm is quite risky, so a golfer would desperately need one. I wonder if Donald Trump ever carried a weather radio in his younger days whilst playing golf. To further back up my claim that weather radios once were and maybe still are a status symbol now, at least to some degree is that, I’ve only seen upper-middle-class and wealthy people in possession of one. I’ve never once seen anyone from the lower socio-economic positions to ever be in possession of a weather radio. I have even read an article or two about how the white upper class are almost the only ones who purchase weather radios and that poorer whites, as well as most minorities, don’t even bother purchasing one.

While at the time, my family was lower middle class and stayed there until between 1997 and 2000. Now they are almost upper-middle class.

I didn’t know there was such a device as a weather radio until the summer of 1997 when I was reading some hurricane preparedness literature.

I wouldn’t actually own a weather radio of my own until late December 2001. It was an Oregon Scientific WR-8000. Unfortunately, it killed on me in less than two years, but I did EDC it when I could.

I myself as an individual would be considered impoverished by most standards.

Yes, I’ll admit that fully.

The only reason I am able to afford a weather radio (and I do own several) is that I either purchase them on clearance as new old stock, a friend gives one to me or I buy one in gently used condition for a fraction of the cost.

Between December of 2001 and April of 2015, I had gone through a few portable weather radios, many of which killed on me, unfortunately.

I guess it is poor quality control because I did not abuse these radios by any means.

Since the Spring of 2006, I had wanted a Midland HH50B, but it would be over nine more years before I would actually purchase one.

I had some desktop models that were on constant standby as well as a Radio Shack Weather Cube as a backup.

Then one day in late April of 2015, my area was experiencing some severe weather. This weather resulted in the one and only train derailment on the Huey Pierce Long Bridge near New Orleans. The said bridge was about eighty years old at the time.

My standby models had alerted me to a Tornado Watch in advance.

Then there were quite a few Severe Thunderstorm Warnings issued.

My then-wife, now ex-wife, as usual, was watching television.

However, I told her to get dressed in case we would need to move quickly.

The amazing thing is, she actually listened to me, though this was one of the very few times she did listen to me.

A few minutes later we received a Tornado Warning for our Parish.

The sky, though again around midday, became dark as night.

My apartment manager invited the second-floor tenants to her unit which was downstairs.

My now ex wife and I left with the clothes on our back, though I had a Mini Maglite LED in my pants pocket and I also had an Energizer Weatheready 6 Volt LED Lantern in my hand.

We made our way down the stairs and across the parking lot as lightning fiercely flashed.

The sky was still dark as night.

Several of us stood in the manager’s downstairs unit, anxiously waiting for the weather to pass.

Minutes crawled by, but, then, finally, conditions began improving.

The cell service was in and out that day, so none of us could rely on our phones, for weather data though at the time I didn’t even own a smartphone. I would though, a couple days later.

Several young women were wondering when the Tornado Warning would expire.

Eventually, I walked back up to my apartment and retrieved my Weather Cube, which while battery-powered, is still basically impossible to EDC.

I stood and listened to the weather report then when the Tornado Warning expired, I let everyone know and we all went back to our units and resumed our daily activities.

That day made me realize that I should own a weather radio that I could EDC in my backpack and even in my pocket if necessary.

I knew I was going to bite the bullet and soon purchase a Midland HH50B.

A little over a month later, I was able to score one brand new with batteries for ~$10 and free shipping. Thank God for eBay! I had been wanting one for years, so I gladly purchased it with my spending money.

At the time, I was also a new smartphone user and when my new weather radio came in, there was some literature enclosed in the packaging about downloading Midland Weather Center for Apple and Android devices.

I did just that and subsequently downloaded it on almost every smartphone I have owned since.

Granted this app is unfortunately no longer available on Google Play, but it can still be downloaded and installed on Android devices if you know what you are doing.

As for the Midland HH50B, I EDCed it from June of 2015 until December of 2017 when my then-wife now ex-wife broke it in a fit of anger.

However, I liked it so much that I quickly ordered a new one and it arrived on my doorstep a few days later.

I still EDC it in my backpack everywhere I go. And if I can’t have my backpack with me but I know I will be away from home or outdoors for any given time, I will have it in my right pants pocket next to my EDC flashlight.

It has come in handy numerous times either for stand by alerts for severe weather when I am not home or for sheltering in place during severe weather and monitoring the progress thereof.

The times it has been most handy is when I go on road trips and I am the passenger. I use it in conjunction with my Midland Weather Center app and use the weather intelligence gained to assist the driver in avoiding severe storms. I’ve even used it to confirm that there were no tornadoes nearby when my Dad called and thought there were. That was on January 20, 2017 and I was traveling with a friend between Shreveport and Dallas. A day later, though, while heading back home I used my weather radio to keep track of tornado near Nacitoches, Louisiana.

EDCing a weather radio has been very beneficial and never once detrimental, so I plan to do it indefinitely

I don’t know if these reasons will convince you, the reader, whether to also EDC a weather radio or not, but I hope this piece at least validates my reason to do so.

I guess this, therefore, concludes my piece and I hope you, the reader, have been informed and maybe even a little entertained.

Thank you for reading!

I am a Lipophile (and I am Durn Proud of it too)!

My name is Eric John Monier and I am a lipophile, specifically, a heterosexual lipophile.

A lipophile is an individual who is attracted to overweight or obese people, in my case, overweight or obese women.

Those of you who know me well enough are already well aware of this.

I’ve been attracted to plus-sized members of the opposite sex as early as age 14, but I wasn’t completely open and honest about it until about the age of 19. Since my early thirties, I have also been attracted to super-sized members of the opposite sex.

From the latter parts of 2018 until December 4, 2019, I was in a very loving relationship with a super-sized young lady. No one had ever made me so happy. I didn’t care what others thought when they saw me with her in public. I was crushed when she ended it with me and I still am crushed. By the way, she didn’t cause me to also be attracted to super-sized women, because there were other super-sized women of whom I had been madly attracted to between leaving my now ex-wife and meeting her.

My now ex-wife is plus-sized but she resented my lipophilia with a hot passion most of the time.

I catch some flak about this attraction of mine from friends and family, every now and then. However, I was more worried about being harassed about this attraction by those who didn’t like me. Friends and family are in my life, but I don’t have any contact with those who don’t like me.

From early childhood up until my very early teens, I was not attracted to plus-sized members of the opposite sex. I used to say some pretty horrible things about them because the ones I had been around always were so mean. But the reason why they were so mean is probably that they were harassed so much. My Mom even tells me a story of when I was really little there was a heavyset woman checking out her purchases and she had walked backward to put something else in her shopping buggy. Well as she was walking backward, I started saying, “Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…” In other words, most if not all larger vehicles and all mobilized machines make that beeping sound when moving in reverse as a safety feature. My Mom was so embarrassed by that. I’m not one to favor corporal punishment at all, but I hope I got a good butt-whipping for that because I am so ashamed of myself if I indeed did that. And for the record, I do NOT have a spanking fetish! As sharp as my memory is, I don’t recall doing that and maybe that is God’s grace upon me because I would feel absolutely awful with myself about doing something like that. I’ll admit I was a mean and hateful child and I don’t like how I was at all. I was still mean by the time I got to seventh grade, but things were starting to change. There was a girl who was in sixth grade and slightly plus-sized. I think she may have had a crush on me. I also had a crush on her, but never pursued her because of my pride. She was one of the few people in the whole school that was nice to me. Now she is married and my prayer about her is that her husband realizes what a wonderful person she is and he treats her as such!

I switched schools beginning in eighth grade. I was harassed a lot at my new school, but there were a bunch of plus-sized girls who were so good to me. I had crushes on several of them but never pursued them for fear of harassment. Looking back, I shouldn’t have given a single durn about being harassed and I should have pursued at least some of them. Around this time, I also came to realize that most plus-sized females have big breasts, nice butts, very sexy legs and when a pretty face is thrown into the mixture, I feel immensely giddy at the sight. I’ve also come to associate plus-sized and super-sized females with kindness, fidelity, and innocence, at least in my own mind and heart. And not only that, I have observed that many plus-sized and super-sized females look considerably younger than their actual age, especially after age 30. I sometimes see some plus sized ladies in their forties who could pass off as a twenty-something. I don’t see these qualities when I think of a skinny or a muscular woman. So when I say how I am strongly attracted to those body types, it is certainly not out of desperation. Furthermore, if I were truly desperate, would I not go after any woman of any body type that is willing? May it never be! I know I could never be happy with any woman that isn’t plus-sized or super-sized and the few times I was in relationships with skinny girls and women, I forever found myself longing for someone that was at least chubby. The times I was in relationships with women who were skinny-that was out of desperation, because no one else was paying attention to me, but they were.

Around the age of fifteen and three quarters, I was wrongfully and forcefully medicated on a drug that caused a little bit of weight gain. Prior to that, I was 5’4″ and maybe 115 pounds. Afterward, I was 5’6″ and 180 pounds. Looking back, this weight gain combined with my pride is what caused me to be a little more open about my attraction to plus-sized females. It also gave me enough courage to cause me to make a pass at one of them. Once I gained weight I wasn’t harassed as much. Then at the age of eighteen, I started losing weight and I was 5’6″ and 122 pounds. With the weight loss came harassment again. But as skinny as I was, I still desired only plus-sized females. By age nineteen, I was 5’6.5″ and in my 140-pound range. I also came out of the proverbial lipophile closet at this age. Many of my classmates in trade school harassed me as a result of not only being skinny and looking fourteen instead of nineteen but because of my vocalness about what size I am attracted to.

In January of 2007, I met my now ex-wife while I was pushing shopping buggies and bagging groceries at my then local grocer. She was plus-sized (still is) and that was what drew me to her, more than anything else. We had moved really fast. I mean we were already a couple on the day we met and six days later, she admitted that she wanted to marry me. We got along great for the first few years, but she suffers from hydrocephalus and after we tied the knot she needed a shunt revision. The built-up fluid on her brain caused some minor brain damage and altered her personality for the worst. She became mean, controlling and at times violent. I dealt with that for the next almost eight years, the first four because I did love her but the last four only because I fear God. I was not happy at all, but God carried me through it. I begged her to get help for herself, but she flat out refused. I left her in January of 2018. Our divorce was finalized on October 11, 2018. I’ve unfortunately seen her in person a few times since then and I will say that I am still attracted to her body, but I remember how terribly she treated me and my heart is severely repulsed though my flesh is still attracted but only to the physical.

In the latter parts of 2018, I had fallen for a super-sized young lady and the way she felt about me was mutual. No one had ever made me so happy. I’ve also never been more attracted to anyone else. I wish she and I were still together at the time of me writing this, but she gave up on me on December 4, 2019. We parted on pleasant terms. Honestly in the year and some months, we were together we never once argued, not even during the breakup process. I’m crushed as I stated before, but God will get me through it. My prayer right now is either that she miraculously comes back to me and our relationship heals or that God sends another super-sized young lady that meets my standards and doesn’t give up on me this time.

Yes, I am now gravitating more towards super-sized than plus-sized after how happy I was in my last relationship.

I used to call my lipophilia a perversion but when I spoke with one Christian minister about it he corrected me and said it wasn’t a perversion but a preference.

Still, I’m sure there are some who would maybe call me a pervert, but I don’t care.

I’m also sure there are those who think this is very disgusting, but let them, because the motives of my heart behind this plus-sized and super-sized attraction of mine are overwhelmingly pure.

Anyway, there are other types of philias and philes that aren’t so pure and good.

Lipophilia is not harmful to me or others.

And just for the record if by some unfortunate event I wind up with a skinny woman, I won’t try to force her to gain weight so she could be more attractive to me. That is, in my book, indeed a perversion and very unhealthy. Now if she was dangerously underweight, then yes I would because that would be the right thing to do. Induced weight gain was done to me when I was skinny by my now ex-wife and I vehemently resented it. There was another girl I was in a brief relationship with that gave me a several ultimatums if I wanted her and one of them was to gain weight. This is borderline abuse and I want no part of it. But in all honesty, I don’t want a skinny woman to begin with.

My lipophilia is a huge part of who I am (pun intended.)

I wouldn’t be me anymore if I suddenly stopped being a lipophile.

There are a lot of men who are looking for easy sex. Many times they make a pass at a plus-sized or super-sized woman and when she rejects them, they insult her about her weight. This is an extremely low thing to do, but I’m not surprised at all.

Well, I’m not looking for easy sex, but rather true love and happiness and yes, sex eventually comes with that. Many times, I do make an advance at a plus-sized or even super-sized woman but then she rejects me. However, I don’t insult her, because I strive to be a gentleman. Even though rejection is very hurtful, I don’t want to repay it with more hurt. I simply bid her farewell and then leave her alone. Whenever I do talk to a plus-sized or super-sized woman of whom I am interested, I make it a point early on to confess to her my lipophilia to her, but I obviously don’t use that word. However, I do ask her not to hold it against me. Some do and they are disgusted. Some don’t and they seem quite happy.

I guess this, therefore, concludes my pieces on my lipophilia.

I hope you, the reader, understand me better but also have been informed and maybe even entertained…

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