My Humor Involving Use of the Word “Bae.”

The word “Bae” is a colloquial term of endearment for one’s significant other.

Some say is is an acronym for “before anyone else.”

Others say it is short for “baby” or “babe.”

Whatever the case it is very popular and has been for several years.

And yes I feel that this term reeks of postmodernism, but I also find it quite cute, romantic, and comical. Believe it or not, some of my fellow Millennials find it repulsive, even though we’re the ones who use it the most.  Gen Z probably uses it a lot as well.  I don’t know about Gen X.  I think the Boomers and the Silents get severely annoyed by it and a lot of other things that younger generations do.

Supposedly to the Danes, bae is a term for excrement, but here in America and possibly other parts of the English speaking world, it is overwhelmingly the term for a significant other, so please let’s not have any of those comments about the Danes and their word use.  Furthermore, to the Cajun French, “mad” is also a term for excrement.  Do you see anyone from Canada or Louisiana correcting anyone else over perceived incorrect use of the word, “mad”?  Actually, my Paw Paw did, albeit jokingly though, God rest his soul.

The characters in some of the love stories I write indeed engage in this behavior and refer to each other as bae.

I myself was guilty of this too in my most recent relationship, which unfortunately failed.

Since 2016, though, I have been randomly cracking jokes on social media that reference the word “bae.”

I had gotten some pretty good laughs from posting these, so I decided to make a condensed list of all those bae jokes I thought of.

By the way, they are completely original from my own mind unless someone else thought similar without me knowing.

Without further ado, here are the jokes:

“There’s a clothing line known as “Saint John’s Bay.” Now, I’ve read all the books in the Bible that Saint John is credited with writing and he never once mentions that he was married or even betrothed to anyone. Oh wait, never mind, it’s spelled with a Y not an E. I guess I’m getting ahead of myself and I also need to use my glasses more often…”(-I was inspired to come up with this joke in January of 2020 while sorting through some laundry.)

“There is a town in Mississippi near the Interstate 59 Corridor known as “Bay Springs.”  Well for any young and healthy guy, something on him definitely springs whenever he sees bae!”  (-I never shared that one on social media, because some of my fellow Christian friends would be offended.  This joke came to me in May of 2019 while a friend and I were driving through Mississippi on our way back from Dayton Ohio.)

“There is a radio station in Portland, Maine with the call-sign WBAE. What is even more interesting is that the said station plays Adult Contemporary music. I really think that WBAE should play strictly love songs, which mostly are of the AC genre anyway, especially since it is located up in Maine where it’s very cold (good for cuddling.) That way, they could adopt a slogan along the lines of, “Tune into BAE while cuddling with bae!””  (-I was taking a break from my research and just for fun decided to see if there were any broadcasting station with the letters BAE in their callsign.  The rest of the joke wrote itself.)

“Red lights are definitely annoying when driving…However, I’ve learned there is a perk about red lights and it is that you can safely give bae a kiss while stopped at a red light!”  (-I was driving with my now ex-girlfriend and that is what inspired this particular joke.)

“If you have a bay window with a seat, consider using it to cuddle with bae and watch the sunrise or set (depending on its location in your house.)”  (-I was watching barge traffic in the Gulf Intracoastal Waterway one Sunday Morning after church, when this joke came to me but also an illustration by Eloise Wilkin also was an inspiring factor.)

“There’s a small town in Louisiana called “Chackbay.” I’ve only been there a few times so I’m not sure if it would be a romantic place to shack up with bae or not…”  (-I had just left my now ex-wife and was looking for a place when I was inspired to write this joke.)

“Bay leaves are a very good thing when making red beans and rice…However, it is not a good thing when bae leaves [you] unless your relationship with bae was an abusive or unfaithful one…”  (-My marriage was beginning to unravel when I thought of this joke.  Also about two years later, a MEME with similar meaning was created and I would be tickled pink if my joke inspired that MEME.)

“There’s a company that makes quality plastic flashlights known as “Bayco.” What if there was a company pronounced the same but changed the “y” to an “e.” The new company could make overnight bags and personal hygiene products for when one wants to sleep over at bae’s place…”  (-I had thought of this joke in either 2016 or 2017, but was hesitant to post it on social media because I didn’t want to offend my Christian friends.  I initially sent it out a mass text and group messages but eventually posted it to social media.)

“…A Kindergarten teacher has her class at attention and asks each student “What is your favorite activity for your free time?”. One student raises his hand and replies “Netflix and chill with bae!” The whole class laughs and the teacher is kind of ticked off but also wants to laugh as well. In the end, she either sends a note or an email to the child’s parents…”  (-I had come up with this joke and posted it to social media in late November of 2016, one evening.  My now ex-wife hated the word “bae” but somehow she thought this was funny believe it or not.  Then I also said this during a fellowship meal in church one time, actually on my 32nd birthday not realizing the potential sexual meaning behind Netflix and Chill.)

“What if the website eBay replaced the “y” in its name with an “e”? The pronunciation would still be the same, but instead of being an online commerce site, it would be an online dating site!”  (-That was my first joke involving the word “bae.”  I came up with it in October of 2016.)

Hope you, the reader, laughed at least a little and I sincerely apologize if you didn’t…

Back to “Humor”

 

Donald John Trump: A Polarizing Figure

This is something I’ve noticed for years, but finally, I think the time is right to post what I see going on:

By the way, I have no agenda to push, I have no narrative to forward nor am I trying to sway anyone’s political views.

This is simply a casual observation of mine.

For the record, I belong to a one-man political party, known as The Ethical Party.

This means I am neither a Democrat nor a Republican, but my one-man party takes what I perceive as the good from both Democrats and Republicans, alike, and rejects what I perceive as the garbage from those two parties.

Without further ado, here I go:

It’s no secret, Donald Trump is a very polarizing figure.

He is someone whom you either revile or draw inspiration from.

There really isn’t any in between.

By the way, it has been like this for him long before he got into politics.

I’ll give examples of how he is both reviled, yet inspiring:

First, I’ll point out how he is reviled:

I have noticed that Hollywood for years has been hating on Donald Trump.

These years date long before he decided to get into politics.

The biggest example I can think of is back in 1990 when NBC aired a made for television movie known as, “The Great Los Angeles Earthquake.” I first saw this movie in 2008 when I purchased it on DVD. My ex-wife now, unfortunately, has that DVD, but she can keep it. I’m glad to part with it and all my other stuff she got when we split up if it means I don’t have to interact with her.

It is one of my favorite movies, actually, because, I think Los Angeles is a really neat city and would very much like to visit it one day, but also I like the movie for several other reasons: One of my favorite flashlights ever made has a cameo in that movie, the Eveready Commander No. 5122. There is footage of the now defunct railroad Southern Pacific, which is my favorite former railroad. Also, I am highly interested in technology from the late 1980s and early 1990s and there is a good bit of the then current computer, cellular phone and other technologies featured in that movie. I also like seeing all of the now vintage cars and trucks in that movie.

The arch villain in that said movie, Wendell Kaetes, or however his name is spelled, I believe is heavily inspired by Donald Trump. I mean, he resembles Trump physically. He is a real estate developer. He is a shrewd businessman with a quick temper. And there is a line in the movie where he is referred to as “The Donald Trump of the West Coast.” He meets his demise by falling out of his office window of the high rise building he owns when one of the quakes occur. The character has Donald Trump written all over it.

While Hollywood may be hating on him, other entities draw on him for inspiration.

This too has been going on long before he got into politics.

The biggest example I can find is in the Radio Shack Catalogs.

By the way, I do not own the featured image on this page, Radio Shack does-it is straight from their 1996 catalog.

From 1996 until 2001, in order to sell Business Band radios, Radio Shack featured a picture that entailed a businessman in a suit and tie supervising a construction project and giving out commands over a Radio Shack Business Band radio. The model in the suit and tie is obviously a reference to Donald Trump, which I would have never realized had I not seen that aforementioned movie. On one side of him there is a black lady holding the building plans and on the other side, there is a hispanic man going over a checklist. The ironic part is that these two models on the sides of him come from ethnicities of people whom the media vehemently tries to put Donald Trump at odds with.

The reason why I say that the model in the suit and tie is an obvious reference to Donald Trump is that he definitely resembles him physically, he is in charge of a construction project. He appears to be barking orders over the radio. And he is dressed like a businessman. If he isn’t the owner of the construction project going on, he is likely an executive in charge of it.

So, basically, my theory is Radio Shack likely capitalized on Trump’s image and likeness in order to sell their rebadged Motorola and other manufacturer’s Business Band radios.

I’m not sure of their success though, because I don’t have access to their sales data.

For whatever reason though, in about 2004 or 2005, Radio Shack quit selling Business Band radios and this was a huge mistake in my opinion.

This mistake probably was a factor in them going under in the mid to late 2010s.

My biggest question behind all of this is:

Has anyone else noticed these things or am I the only one?

By the way, prior to me watching that earthquake movie, the only time I had ever heard of Donald Trump was on the rapper Nelly’s album Country Grammar. This may come as a shock to just about all of you and I’ve only realized it in the past few minutes, but the lyrics in that said album subconsciously inspired parts of my infamous “Grocer and Writer” stories!

If there is anything to be learned from all of this it is that controversy sells and the juicier any content is, the more profitable it becomes…

As a writer, I am well aware of this, though I have yet to earn a single red cent on anything I’ve written. However, when I write something controversial, I know that is what attracts my readers more than anything else.

I hope, you, the reader, find me informative and entertaining…

Back to “Articles I Have Written”

A Day at My Grandparents’

This is my first attempt at writing a children’s book.

It is heavily based on my childhood and told from the perspective of me at age five, which would mean it takes place in the year 1992.

I initially wrote most of it in the Summer of 2016, but recently did some editing and now I feel as if I’m ready to share it with the world.

Without further ado, here we go:

I arrive at my grandparents’ house and they welcome me with open arms.

My grandma offers me breakfast: oatmeal with hot syrup.

My grandpa sits at the table with me.

Suddenly he sneezes very loudly, “HYEH-HOO!” My grandma jumps out of fright. I just laugh. She then gives him a dirty look and he rubs my head. I finish eating my breakfast and then look out the front door. The mail truck is coming in the distance. I watch. Finally, it is near my grandparents’ mailbox and the mailman puts several letters in.

“I’m going get the mail,” My grandpa says.

“Our Social Security checks should be in today, honey.” My grandma replies.

We walk to the mailbox and my grandpa picks up the mail then we walk back to the house.

“Yes, our checks are in. I’ll go to the bank and cash them,” He says, handing her the rest of the mail.

My grandma opens the envelopes, signs her check then says, “After that go to the hardware store and get a new light fixture for the utility room. ”

I look at my grandpa and ask “Can I come with you?”

“Sure,” He replies.

“Get our medicine from the drug store too, honey,”

“Yes, ma’am.” He answers.

My grandma gives him another dirty look.

We then walk to his old truck and he starts it. The engine makes a loud noise and then we take off.

As we are driving down the road there is a car in front of us going super slow. My grandpa blows his horn and shouts, “Come on you turtle!”

I laugh.

“If your grandma saw me acting like that she would fuss, so don’t tell her what I just did.”

I nod my head and grin.

We go through the drive up window at the bank. My grandpa signs his check and also hands my grandma’s check to the teller. She then hands him a lot of money, then she also gives me some candy.

My grandpa leaves the bank and I eat. “Don’t tell your grandma I let you have candy,” He tells me.

I motion as if I am zipping my lips and he smiles.

We arrive at the hardware store and my grandpa parks his truck. We walk through the store and into the electrical department. I stare at all the lights on display.

“How is this one?” He asks.

“It looks cool to me,” I reply, then continue “Could I help you put it up?”

“Sure!” My grandpa replies, “I do need a helper and you’re perfect for the job.”

My grandpa picks up the light, still in its package and then we walk to the counter.

He pays the check out lady.

She prints some papers and hands them and the light to my grandpa, then we leave the store.

We get back in his truck. He starts it and the engine makes that loud noise again. I laugh.

“One day, when I am really old, this will be your truck, E.J.”

“Awesome!” I say.

We then drive to the drug store, then enter and both sit on a stool at the counter while the pharmacist gets the medicine.

She tells him the price and he hands her the cash.

“Boy, thank God for Medicare!” My grandpa tells her as he is handed several bags.

“What’s Medicare?” I ask.

“Something for old people like me and your grandma,” He replies.

Another old man walks up to my grandpa and they begin talking in French. I’m puzzled because I don’t know what they’re saying.

I look at my grandpa, point to the old man and ask, “Who’s that?”

“E. J., that’s Mister Cecil. We worked together at the factory.”

Mister Cecil looks at me and says “Your grandpa told us many jokes and made us laugh during those long shifts.”

“He makes me laugh too. What was his job at the factory?”

“He loaded the syrup we made into railroad cars and I was in charge of the piping system,” Mister Cecil replies.

“That’s awesome!” I say.

“We’d still be working there if it wasn’t for the factory closing,” My grandpa says.

“Well, you know durn good and well there were some dirty dealings going on,” Mister Cecil adds in.

“Yeah, but that was way beyond our control,” My grandpa answers.

They go back to talking in French for a while then finally shake hands and Mister Cecil leaves.

My grandpa and I leave the drug store as well.

He starts his truck and the engine makes that loud sound again.

We both laugh.

We head back to the house, then walk through the door.

We walk into the utility room and my grandpa opens the door to the broom closet. He gets his flashlight and tools out, then goes to the fuse box and turns off the electricity.

“Safety first-remember that, E.J.!” He tells me.

I nod and smile.

The house is dark, so he turns his flashlight on.

He takes a chair from the kitchen and brings it to the utility room. He then stands on top of it under the old light fixture.

My grandpa hands me his flashlight and says “E. J., shine me some light.”

I shine it at the fixture.

He then says, handing me his pocket knife, “E. J. cut the box open.”

“I don’t want E. J. handling a knife, he’s too young!” My grandma shouts.

“Aw, shucks! I’m old enough!” I say.

“No your grandma is right, E. J. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. I just forget how young you are sometimes,” He pauses then says, “I’ll open it.”

He cuts through the package and takes out the new light, along with the wire nuts and fasteners.

“Now keep shining that flashlight E. J. and get me a screwdriver and cutting pliers.”

I hand him the tools. The old fixture soon comes down and grandpa puts the new one up. My grandpa then pulls the switch cord.

“All done!” He says, “Now shine some light on the fuse box, E. J.”

I shine it and he turns the electricity back on. The new fixture lights up the utility room brightly.

“Now turn my flashlight off E. J.”

Reluctantly I turn it off and say, “Aw shucks.”

“Now, E.J., I need to conserve the battery. You never know when a big storm will come.”

“I guess you’re right grandpa. I just think your flashlight is so cool!”

My grandpa looks at my grandma and says, “Now, hopefully, the next time that fixture needs to be replaced E. J. will be a grown man and he can do it for us.”

“He better finish college first,” My grandma says sternly, then continues, “Since the power is back on, I’m going to watch my stories while I do some cooking and sewing.”

“Well I’m going work in the garden,” My grandpa says.

“I’m coming with you,” I tell him.

We pick green beans, corn, okra, and tomatoes until I see a raccoon coming into the garden.

“Look, grandpa, a raccoon.”

“E. J., get inside right now!” My grandpa says with urgency.

I go, but watch and listen through the screen door.

My grandpa chases the raccoon clapping his hands several times while stomping his foot and shouting “Get. Gone. Get outta here.” The dog begins to bark. Finally, the raccoon runs away. I laugh until my sides ache.

“All right E. J. you can come back now,” He says, then continues “Never go near a raccoon, they’re vicious and they carry rabies.”

I nod and keep a sharp eye looking for more raccoons. Thankfully no more show up.

My grandpa continues working in his garden until we hear my grandma shout, “Dinner’s ready.”

We walk back to the house.

“What are we having?” I ask.

“Green beans and potatoes.” My grandma answers.

“Yuck!” I say.

“Well if you don’t want that, you can have a can of Vienna Sausage,” My grandpa answers.

My grandma gives my grandpa a pair of eyes.

“What the matter now, honey?” He asks her.

“You should know very well that Vienna Sausage isn’t good for him,” She answers.

“Oh, doggone it, let him enjoy that whiles he’s young. He won’t be able to eat that kind of stuff when he’s old like us.”

“I guess, honey. But you know his parents want him to eat healthy food,” She replies.

“We don’t have to tell them about it. Besides what will one little can hurt?” My grandpa says as he opens the can and hands the sausages to me.

We all sit down to eat.

My grandparents take their medicines during dinner. They pop several pills and wash them down with Royal Crown Cola.

I drink Cherry Kool-Aid to wash down my Vienna Sausages.

“One day I want you to try green beans, though, E.J. They taste good and they’re good for you,” My grandpa says.

“Okay, I’ll try them one day when I am all grown up.”

My grandma says, “Hopefully before then.”

“Better late than never.” My grandpa says.

After we eat my grandpa takes me in his truck and we ride through the fields. He checks his cattle and the fencing around the property.

He works on the fence and I watch until the sun begins to set. We then head back to the house.

We walk up the back porch and into the door. My grandpa washes his hands in the kitchen sink, then shakes them dry. I stand on a chair and do the same.

“E.J., use a towel instead.” My grandma says with irritation.

My grandpa then begins to scratch his back on the doorpost.

I smile, then go across the room and scratch my back on the other doorpost.

My grandpa then lets out a loud sneeze, “HYEH-HOO!”

I laugh, then say, “I’m going to sneeze like that too from now on!”

My grandma says angrily at me “Don’t you dare E.J.!” She then looks at my grandpa and says, “You see that honey, E. J. is picking up all of your bad habits.”

“That’s because he’s my flesh and blood,” My grandpa answers proudly.

“But he starts school in a few weeks and we can’t have him acting like that in the classroom.”

My grandpa pokes his tongue at my grandma and then asks, “What’s for supper?”

“Homemade bread and coffee. But E.J. will have hot milk instead, we can’t have him up all hours of the night. So, don’t give him any.”

“Yes, ma’am!” My grandpa answers her.

“Aw shucks,” I say.

She gives him a dirty look, then we eat. My grandparents take their nighttime medication.

After supper, we watch the television for a little while.

The news is on.

Suddenly we hear the dog barking and the cows mooing incessantly.

My grandpa retrieves his flashlight and turns it on.

“I’m going see what’s going on outside,” My grandpa says.

“I want to go too and see grandpa’s flashlight light up the night.”

“No, E. J. you need to get to bed,” My grandma says.

“Aw shucks!” I reply.

“Now, E.J.!” My grandma orders.

My grandpa goes outside. I hear his truck start up, then reluctantly I go lay down in the spare bedroom and soon fall asleep.

I guess I’ve been asleep for a while, but then, suddenly I’m woken up by the screen door opening and shutting. Then I hear a loud “HYEH-HOO!” I laugh to myself and realize that my grandpa is back.

I get out of bed and walk into the living room.

“What happened outside?” I ask.

“One of my heifers got stuck in the barbed wire fence.”

I see him picking up his flashlight and then ask, “Could I play with it for a little while?”

“Sure.” He says.

“Yes!” I reply.

I shine it all over the room, on walls, windows and pictures then I notice some writing on the flashlight. I ask my grandpa “What does it say on the sides?”

“Eveready Commander.” He replies. “Eveready is the company and Commander is the model of the flashlight.”

“What does N o dot five one two two mean?”

“The No. means number which is fifty-one twenty-two.”

“What does it say below that?”

“Made in Hong Kong. That’s the city in China, where this flashlight was made.”

“Where’s that?”

“On the other side of the world. And, you know while it’s nighttime here, it’s daytime over there.”

“Cool!”

“And what does it say on the left back side?” I ask.

“Union Carbide-that’s the company that owned Eveready when this flashlight was made. And below it says New York, NY. In other words New York City in New York State. That’s where one of Union Carbide’s offices were located. The 5 numbers, one zero zero one seven is the zip code for that part of New York City,” My grandpa replies.

“Cool!”

My grandpa then looks at my grandma and says “You see that, honey, I’m teaching E.J. geography and how to read.”

“Teach him tomorrow; he needs to be in bed at this hour.” My grandma says.

I hang my head in disappointment.

My grandpa looks at me and says “Tell you what, if you go to sleep right now, you can have my flashlight. I worked many night shifts with it, loading syrup into tank cars, but it’s yours now. I’ll just buy a new one at the hardware store tomorrow.”

“You really mean it, grandpa?” I ask.

“Sure, so why don’t you get to bed.” He says.

“All right,” I reply, happily.

“You better not take it with you to school or your teacher will take it away.” My grandma interjects.

“Yes, that’s right. And we don’t want that to happen.” My grandpa replies.

I begin to get sleepy and they both hug me good night and I walk to my bed. Soon, I am fast asleep…

Contact Me

Back to “Works of Fiction”

ASDF Movie Questions and Speculations

Since about 2011, I have been a fan of the ASDF Movies.

I had seen some kids watching them and when I saw the “I Like Trains Kid” character, I could only think to myself and eventually be public about it, “No fair, I liked trains before it was cool to even like trains.”

I even commented that on YouTube.

Of course, then someone called me a “hipster.”

Anyway, I could still watch these ASDF Movies over and over again and laugh myself silly.

At some point in 2014, someone whom I will refer to as my “bestest buddy” and myself wrote down most of these questions and speculations we came up with about some of the characters in the said cartoon.

Here they are without further ado:

Desmond the Moon Bear:
He was sent him to the moon because he was very smart and knew how to speak English. Since he spoke English, he was launched into space by the USA and not the USSR/CCCP. His memories of being in the rockets were probably wiped out somehow.

The Girl Who Wanted to go to the Moon:
We thought she would miss the moon and/or other planets but went into the sun and burned up. She might not have made it through Earth’s atmosphere and fell back down. Then we wondered if the moon talked to her like he talked to the couple on the hill when he wanted them to kiss. This could be why she and Desmond never met. Also, when she was leaving the earth did he talk to her like he told goodbye to the guy who blew his brains out?

Stegosaurus and The Mine Turtle:
How did the stegosaurs learn how to speak English to the guy who traveled back in time? How does the stegosaurus step on the mine turtle and survive?

The I Like Trains Kid (my personal favorite):
Does the train just hurt whom the I Like Trains Kid wants to hit or does it hurt everyone nearby? Does he have some kind of power to guide the train to his target? Does he get hit? In one scene he does get it, or at least it looks like it. Maybe it is because he had no target that time. If only I myself had the power to summon a train simply by saying, “I Like Trains.” Of course, I wouldn’t use the train as a weapon, unless my life or the life of someone whom I care about was in danger.

The Die Potato: When the potato was about to be smashed but his assailant was rolled over by the train; was the potato also smashed by the train? Who taught the potato how to handle a firearm?

The Boy that Turned into a Pie:
Maybe he baked a pie and hid. Maybe he turned into the pie, by baking himself, but then the pie might taste like steak. How would he have turned into a perfectly shaped pie, like the pie flavored pie? Could the baby on fire be trying to bake into a pie by his mother, since she wanted more jewelry? Maybe she wanted to have a bake sale?

Child Arrested for Doing Homework:
Maybe this takes place in a dystopian society where any types of learning are forbidden. Maybe there was a free-thinking teacher who assigned the student to read some forbidden book and do a report on it, hence that it the homework the child was arrested for.

That’s all I have for the moment.

Hopefully, in the not to distant future, I can further elaborate on this.

Also, I am willing to accept input on your thoughts if you yourself also watch ASDF Movies…

My EDC Flashlights of 2016

I wrote this article in 2016. It is 2018 at the time I am posting this, but a good bit of the information still rings true. Apparently, it was late in the evening when I wrote this, which is usually when I am most creative. I still EDC some of two years later…

I have decided to write short review of the pocket sized flashlights I rotate with my EDC gear, as of Early 2016. Some are popular, other’s not so much. These are VERY budget friendly, as even the most costly [pocket EDC] model can be had for <$35 at the overwhelming majority of online, brick and mortar and hybrid retailers.

I realize that one should have both LED and Icandescent in his/her (or vice versa, depending on the situation that arises) EDC gear.

LED Models:
If you are a heavy flashlight user (meaning every day, several times a day), you will want a flashlight that is rugged, easy to maintain, efficient on batteries and bright enough for any given task. LED models fit these specifications perfectly. The few drawbacks of LED technologies is that they are overwhelmingly NOT user serviceable, MOST models give an untrue color rendition of any object being examined, and the scariest; they probably will NOT survive an EMP blast. In fact any electronic device that utilizes transistors and microchips as their semiconductors will fail. That’s just about everything except for a very few exceptions of devices that are probably only used in the military sector. That brings on a horrible wave of depression when I think of it and I have to ask God to comfort me.
My current EDC choices are:
UST (Ultimate Survival Technologies) Moon Force 2xAAA Glo Model. <$20.
Energizer Hard Case Professional LED Task Light 2xAA Model. ~$14-$17.
Terralux Light Star 80 2xAAA Model. <$20.
5.11 Tactical TMT PLx 2xAAA Model. <$35.

Now that all has been said about LED models; here is a list of mine:

UST (Ultimate Survival Technologies) Moon Force 2xAAA Glo Model. <$20. I mainly have it as a just in case of the worst thing besides an EMP blast. It can be located in the dark. It has a battery of 40 hours in low mode whilst still giving off a decent 10 lumens. It also has an emergency signally mode that has it preprogrammed to blink “SOS” continuously. This is a must have if traveling and one becomes stranded and or injured. The only drawback is that I find as the batteries age, one must strike it in addition to pressing the switch in order for it to turn on. I think of this in a situation where I would be in an aircraft downing in the middle of nowhere or being kidnapped and thrown into a trunk.

Energizer Hard Case Professional LED Task Light 2xAA Model. ~$14-$17. It is a cross between a consumer and a tradesperson’s flashlight and can be used for industrial use or outdoor nighttime activities. At 250 Lumens on high mode, it is the brightest flashlight in my current EDC gear. Its body is composed of a ABS plastic and steel. This allows it to be both rugged and chemical resitant and non conductive (excellent for performing maintenance and repairs on various pieces of machinery.) There is also a low setting which makes it appropriate for close up inspection of work While I wouldn’t advise for self defense from humans, it can be an excellent way of scaring away smaller animals (like a racoons, possums and even randy or dominant cats) that torment your pets and children. I mean, if the blinding brightness doesn’t deter their attitudes, a good hard whack upside the head or high velocity throw at their hind legs will surely scare them away but won’t leave any severe or crippling injuries. It will make them think twice about harming your elderly, juvenile or pregnant/nursing pets as well as undiscerning children. I claim no responsibility for any injuries you or your loved ones may sustain from the animals. For an extra measure of your safety and CYA purposes, please shout “GET” at the animal in question when engaging and only use force it it doesn’t comply with your command. For larger, stronger preadtory animals, there is a plethora of blades and firearms to choose from, but this piece is dedicated to flashlights. It will survive an impact of 7 Meters (21 Feet) on concrete and because of being built of high quality plastic, it won’t show the battle scars too much either. What if our enemies use some sort of dirty radiation to generate the EMP waves? What if all these little bastards mutate, get stronger and have all kinds of superpowers and attack you and your infirmed. When you shout “GET” they will laugh at you mockingly. What if their mutated bodies will then be able to absorb the blows from whackings and hurlings that once sent them away with their tails between their legs? Okay, I know there are plenty of possibilities but no more. This is supposed to be about science fact, not science fiction. The line between the two subjects keeps blurring though.

Terralux Light Star 80 2xAAA Model. <$20. This flashlight gives off 80 *you guessed it* Lumens, but I forget for how long on a set of batteries. Unfortunately the company’s website is not up to par at the moment. I like this one and carry it because it presents the best of both worlds, but is legally an LED. Therefore I must declare that I highly doubt it surviving an EMP blast. The reason why I say it gives the best of both worlds is because it has the brightness, durability and effeciency of an LED, but due to recent advances in LED technology, it produces light that is similar in color to an incandescent with fresh batteries. This means that in any profession where color rendition matters, this light is a winner. [Theoretically] all colors being inspected and examined will show their true appearance. This light also has a grip on it that is mean for holding it with your teeth comfortably and still having both hands free to work. Another simple but brilliant idea is that this light has the ability to place the clamp upside down and clip it to the duck bill of your cap. Please for CYA purposes make sure the light is point away from your face when you wear it on your cap. Also this light has a forward clickie switch which means you could secretly communicate morse code, or cause a seizure to someone who is trying to harm you. For the sake of CYA, let me caution that you could probably be sued or even prosecuted for causing a serious injury if your attacker hurts his/herself during the seizure, even if it was purely self defense. I shouldn’t say this because it will give some epeleptic the urge to hold someone up in the hopes that he or she will get an blast of light in the face, go into a seizure and then sue his or her victim. Welcome to modern America. Do you even wonder why enemies both foreign and domestic would love to bring us to our knees and what better way of doing it than sending all of our technology 200 years into the past?

5.11 Tactical TMT PLx 2xAAA Model. <$35. This light is 90 Lumens (10 Lumens brighter than my Terralux and nearly just as efficient if my memory serves me properly.) It seems to be made of a slightly harder grade of Aircraft Aluminum than the Terralux, which I would like to use it as my Kubotan light. It too has a forward clickie so we please refer to the previous paragraph about the advantages forward clickie switches. It is a decent all around lighting instrument, but was initially targeted to law enforcement and military customers. That means that it probably can stand up to most forms of use and abuse. I only wish it had a crenelated bezel, like my 2xAAA Bushnell flashlight. And of course a 12 Hz strobe feature would make inducing a seizure (or at least extreme disorientation) in your oponent even easier.

Incandescent Models:
If you absolutely need excellent color rendition of the equipment, (or tissue and organs for that matter) want a flashlight that is user servicable (hence an exponentially longer lifetime of service) or just plain want to be prepared should any disaster fry all modern electronics. Also their startup cost is a fraction of the startup cost of an LED model. The drawbacks to incandescents are that since a glass bulb is the only light emitter, they are horribly more fragile than their LED counterparts, they devour batteries like a starving pit bull in a butcher shop, their bulb life is also relatively short, meaning the user must have extra replacement in his/her edc bag. Then there is the facet that frightens me most: Their replacement bulbs may some day be discontinued, because of the potential selfishness and greed or poor descision making on the part of their manufacturers. Given the political instability at home and abroad, I will stress that incandescent flashlights are a MUST not only as a backup device in the event of an EMP induced LED failure, but also to have as a barter item (extra bulbs as well in this case) for food, water, medicine and weapons/ammo. Because of the relatively low price of both the flashlights and their bulbs, They will indeed be worth many times their MSRP. I am shocked to realize that I have never heard anyone from the prepper community state that flashlight bulb futures could be a publically traded commodity, seriously not even as a joke. Has anyone besides myself ever thought of this?
My current EDC choices are:
Mini Maglite 1984 Original 2xAA Model. ~$8-$20.
Mini Maglite 1987 Smaller 2xAAA Model ~$7-$16.
Pelican MityLite 1900 2xAAA Model. ~$10-~$20.

Now that I have stated the extreme pros and unfortunate cons of incandescent models, here are the ones I rotate in my EDC gear:

Mini Maglite 1984 Original 2xAA Model. ~$8-$20. This was probably the flashlight that revolutionized the industry and was a trailblazer in the subject of all things EDC. I have been using this model (not the same one, but different ones over the past 10 years. I also have given them as gifts to friends and family. While not on the bleeding edge of today’s flashlight technology; it is still a tried and true favorite around the world. This is a flashlight that can be used in both the medical and custodial arts and anything in between! It can meet the needs of a surgeon but still be affordable on a janitor’s wages. The only complaint I can say about it is that bulb and battery life are poor. A fresh set of Alkalines will emit 14 Lumens from the bulb and last between 3 to 5 hours depending on the quality of the cells (you get what you pay for definitely makes a clear statement in the world of batteries.) A new bulb will burn for maybe 8 to 10 hours before flashing out. Maglite upgraded their bulbs designed for this flashlight several time over the years. They were always bi pin bulbs, but their physical and chemical features have changed over the years; Vacuum, Krypton and Xenon respectively. What I recommend this model for is anything where light is needed in a post EMP blast world, but also has much praticality in normal everyday life. I have used it for close up inspection work when repairing/inspecting the insides a computer tower many times. I have also read and heard where it was esential in performing or assisting surgery in the mission fields where the electricity is intermittent at best, reading an instrument panel on any vehicle, craft or vessel at night when the proprietary lighting has decided to quit on you. Also, from what I gather, firefighters like this light because of its ability to project a focused beam with minimal glare in a smoke or mist filled room. There is even an implement sold by a third party that allows this flashlight to be securely mounted to their helments. What tops it all off is that it was invented and still made here in the States by a highly ethical and kind-hearted, though rightfully shrewd at times, eighty something business executive and tradesman named Tony Maglica.

Mini Maglite 1987 Smaller 2xAAA Model ~$7-$16. This is the smaller, lighter, and dimmer underage lover to the original Mini Maglite. I swear their relationship is consensual, but for CYA purposes I assure you the parents of the younger party gave their full blessing to the relationship and even paid for a lavish wedding. In fact: One year later they had a child whom they named Solitaire because of its dull light output and inability to stay in a committed relationship to its key lanyard. Wow lack of medication breeds creativity, but creativity is soon beaten and gang raped by paranoia, depression and anxiety. Okay all joking aside. This flashlight was developed for medical and industrial purposes and I would say it was mediocre in filling those roles for. However it holds a special place in my heart for the simple fact that it was brought into this *racking my brain desparately for a properly fitting adjective* world in 1987, just like me. Sometime I think in 2015 she got her act together and began using a Xenon bulb. Now she is a medical profession, specializing in eye exams because of her color correct Xenon light, and her dimness has an advantage because the pupils only contract minimally. I think she would make a great use of her candle mode in a post EMP world for seperated young lovers to write each other since there will be no phones texts or emails to communicate. I think she might also inspire a huge generation of creative writers as they create stories, plays, songs, poems, doctrines and manifestoes. Then again, will we have freedom of expression once order is restored?

Pelican MityLite 1900 2xAAA Model. ~$10-~$20. I have a love and hate relationship with this model, due to owning ones that had their bodies warp, bulb modules burnout prematurely and even one of them being stolen from me. However, the laser precision Xenon fired beam 11 Lumen, overall ruggedness and especially the strong association with the maritime industry (and my gongoozling hobby) not to mention its Class 1 Divsion 1 Group C and D approval were all deciding factors in me giving this model one more chance and even placing it in with my EDC gear. It will hardly dent your checking account (neither will it send you into massive debt.) Well, let me clarify: If you use it heavily, it will develop an addiction to batteries not unlike a chain smoker’s ongoing and scandalous love affair with Nicotene. Like any other incandescent model it will thrive in the post EMP world (especially in areas where hazardous fluids have been released because of the near universal failure electronics will sucumb to.) In the still normal pre EMP world this light will be ideal when working on live electrical or electronic circuits is an absolute must, but please remove the damn key ring first if yours has one.

Another indispensible use of small flashlights.
Someday, I would love to take up the art of the Kubotan, which is a style of martial arts that teaches the use a hard, pen-sized object to strike the pressure points of a would be attacker and disarm him/her. A metal, pocket sized flashlight is ideal for these techniques and some were even built with this in mind (I believe the Mini Maglite in 1984 was one of these.) With enough skills mastered could even halt the most heavilly armed attacker in a close quarter combat situation. This is something that should be taught to and encouraged for all patrons and staff of all schools churches and hospitals, especially with the rise of mass shootings as of lately…

Inspirational or Funny Quotes

These are certain quotes that I find hold much weight. I have borrowed this from my Facebook page, since most of my blog readers don’t know me from Facebook:

Here they are:

Christian/Biblical quotes:
“For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”-The Apostle Paul, Romans 6:23.

“But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us”-The Apostle Paul, Romans 5:8

“For God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son that whosoever believe in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”-John the Disciple whom Jesus loved, John 3:16.

“But what does it say? ‘The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart’ (that is, the word of faith which we preach): that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”-The Apostle Paul, Romans 10:8-10

“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”-The Apostle Paul, Romans 10:13.

“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”-The Apostle Paul, Romans 9:38-39.

“For the message of the Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved, it is the Power of God”-The Apostle Paul, 1 Corinthians 1:18

“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.”-Jesus Christ, Matthew 10:16.

“But now, whoever has a money belt is to take it along, likewise also a bag, and whoever has no sword is to sell his coat and buy one.”-Jesus Christ, Luke 22:36.

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”-The Apostle Paul, Ephesians 6:12.

“For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”- The Apostle Paul, 1 Timothy 6:10.

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”-Psalmist, Psalms 37:4.

“Jesus paid a debt that He did not owe, because we owed a debt that we could not pay.”-Unknown.

“…The vilest offender who truly believes, that moment from Jesus a pardon receives…”-Frances Jane Crosby from her hymn “To God Be The Glory.”

“…Oh, to grace, how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be, Let Thy Goodness like a fetter bind my wandering heart to Thee. Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love, here’s my heart, oh, take and seal it, seal it for Thy Courts above…”-Pastor Robert Robinson from his hymn, “Come Thou Fount of every Blessing.”

“…Like a rose trampled on the ground.
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all…”-Lyrics from the Michael W. Smith song “Above All” which describes how much Jesus Christ loves the church and what He went through that we may be saved.

“Red sky at night, sailor’s delight. Red sky in the morning, sailor’s warning.”-An ancient rhyme about weather which I believe is based on what Jesus Christ said in Mathew 16:2-3.

Quotes from famous writers:
“…All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrance…”-William Shakespeare.

“The pen is mightier than the sword.”-Edward Bulwer-Lytton

“Art imitates life and life imitates art.”-Oscar Wilde.

Quotes from others:

“Analog TV, we hardly knew ye…”-Justin Matherne, June 12, 2009, (his commentary on how all full power analog television stations shut of their signals, because of a government mandate.)

“Calculators don’t bounce!”-Mr. C.J. Tastet.

“…Nothing wrong with fresh white beans!…”-Mr. Wade Plaisance from Wade’s Pest Control (He told me this as he was doing a preventative spraying for bugs in my residence early one morning in 2016. I was in my kitchen cooking white beans from scratch.)

“73’s, on top of the trees! Bend those knees in the breeze!”-Someone I heard on a CB radio.

My personal quotes:
“The ability to provoke emotions is a wonderful gift…”-Me (my observation on how I cause people to experience various emotions when reading what I write.)

“For I am convinced that the pen is mightier than the sword and I do not carry the pen in vain…”-Me (realizing how I can use writing to help forward a cause or have revenge on persons and entities that have wronged me.)

“If there is anything good about abusive people, it is this and probably only this: They sure are excellent inspirations to draw from for creating villainous and/or evil characters when writing fiction.”-Me (speaking from first hand experience.)

“I believe there is an extremely fine line between inspiration and plagiarism…”-Me (an observation about some of the things I’ve formerly written.)

“Give the utmost reverence where the utmost reverence is due!” -Me (trying to preach and uphold the importance of virtue and innocence.)

“You know you live in the middle of nowhere if there are no Family Dollar or Dollar General stores near you…”-Me (a little observational humor.)

“Linux based operating systems have more perks than quirks.”-Me (stating a personal computer observation.)

“The [incandescent] Mini Maglite can be used in both the medical and custodial arts and anything in between! It can meet the needs of a surgeon but still be affordable on a janitor’s wages.”-Me (stating the versatility of a Mini Maglite, from an essay I wrote about high quality incandescent flashlights.)

“When egrets take flight; foul weather in sight.” -Me. (my personal weather observation, first version.)

“When egrets fly high; foul weather is nigh.”-Me (my personal weather observation, second version.)

“Old people are cool!”-Me (stating a fact.)

“I can set my watch to it.” -Me (when complaining about any irritating event that repeatedly happens.)

“Remember the cable guy?”-Me (inside family joke.)

“Heavy Duty batteries are really Heavy Crappy and Heavy Leaky!”-Me (my personal observation on the experiences I have had with Carbon Zinc and Carbon Zinc Chloride batteries.)

“I used to bag groceries for a living and I’m anal about how it’s done.”-Me (when explaining to the cashier or bagger not to put meats from different animals or hot and cold items in the same bag.)

“The position of the grocery bagger was [heavily, but not totally] done away with after the economic downturn of 2008.”-Me (noticing how cashiers also bag groceries at many stores and have ever since about 2008.)

Excerpts and Ideas from Stories that I Never Finished

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So, I had a vision when I was sixteen:

It involved two potential lovers outside in very cold, frigid weather. I tried to make sense of it and connect some of the dots by assuming that they were spies (probably from opposing governments) in Siberia who meet there by chance. I don’t know yet if they will at first try to kill each other (as they are assigned to) but instead fall in love, then defect and run away together…Another scenario could be that they are both caught by the Siberian Special Forces and are bound up then left for dead in the snow, then fall in love and die together from hypothermia…This is what was going through my mind just moments prior to me writing my first story, which was quite different yet still a little similar from this, on the evening of April 10, 2003…
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Two forbidden lovers conversing:

I initially wrote this some time in 2008…

“Watch the sun as it moves across the sky: When the rooster crows, it is dawn. When you begin to sweat, it is mid-morning. When there are no shadows, it is noon. When the crows begin to call, it is sunset. When the crickets chirp, it is dusk. When the wolves howl, moon rise is nigh. When the gates to the property close, it is nighttime. I will try my hardest to meet up with you at each of those times.”

“The way you explained all that sounded so beautiful. It makes me want you all the more! My God, how I wish we could be together without having to sneak around.”

“And how I wish I could kiss your beautiful face in front of the whole world, but I don’t want you to lose your job. But I will kiss you just as passionately in the shadows…Our next meeting will be at noon.”
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Two Students Attending a Strict High School:

This possibly takes place in a dystopian society.

I had help from some peers (though they were of the opposite sex) when I was writing this in the late Spring of 2004.

One day during lunch a kind and noble boy, about seventeen, was walking around looking for a spot to sit when he noticed a beautiful girl, about fourteen, sitting by herself and shaking.

He walks up to her table and asks, “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing dont worry about it,” She answers, but is in obvious distress.

“Is this seat taken?” He asks her.

“No, you can sit here if you want to.”

The boy sits next to her and they eat together.

Awkwardly but sweetly they stare into each others’ eyes, then begin to eat their lunches.

After they finish eating, the boy asks her, “What is bothering you? I know something is wrong and I wish I could help you.”

The girl breaks down and says, “My step dad would beat me and you if he knew we were talking.” She pauses then continues, “The school officials are keeping a close eye on me because my quietness arouses their suspicion.”

“Well you seem to be a very sweet girl and you do not deserve that kind of ill treatment. I’ll stand up for you if any school employee or anyone for that matter including your step dad if he tries to harm you.”

“Are you crazy” She asked him, “If you confront a school worker like that you will be humiliated, whipped, thrown in the dungeon and who know’s what else? If you confront my step dad, he’s likely to beat the daylights out of you then call the cops.”

The boy answered, “It would definitely be worth it for you.” Then he smiled and winked at her.

She smiled at him and blushed a little…
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Part of this came to me in a dream I had in the Autumn of 2006:

A young love stricken man named Gallen Blain was talking to his pilot Jim Donson and asked, “Have you ever shopped at the Goodness Department Store?”

Jim replied “Yeah I shop. I fly all around the country shopping for women.”

Gallen replied “Well there is a very beautiful young lady who works there, her name is Mandi Case.”

“Why limit yourself to just one?”

“Because I love her and only her! Don’t I catch enough hell about that from the other workers?”
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A conversation between a young industrial designer and his financial backer.  This was inspired by a dream I had in the Autumn of 2012  I penned about two years later:

“I know you have no formal training, but I hear you’re good. From what my grandson tells me you sure know tradesman tools.”

“Well, I certainly try my best, Mr. McCloud. I worked as a technician for 2 years, then I sold tradesman tools for another two years. I would like to think that I know what improvements need to be made.”

“That’s why I hired you.”

“And I promise to give you and your company my best designs.”

“Good. I expect nothing less.”

“Should I show you some of my ideas right now? I have been wanting them to be put into existence for years now. I just never had the manufacturing resources nor the financial backing.”

“Yes. Just give me a preview of what is to come.”

“All right. I feel, that my expertise as far as tradesman’s tools is concerned is the area of portable lighting. I have three revolutionary ideas for flashlights and I hope you will accept.”

“Go on.”

“Well, for starters, I have designed a line for electricians…”

“Good. Interesting, I have been looking to diversify my products and this may just be it.”

“There’s more.”

“Go on.”
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I penned this in 2012, but was inspired to write it from a dream I had in 2007:

Helen Williams was reprimanding Amelia Esterwood with anger, “People all over town are gossiping about how you and Cade Jennings were sitting in the diner, talking about aphrodisiacs. They are even saying that you and him mixed it in your drinks. Is this true?”

Cade Jennings stepped out from his eavesdropping and said, “What if it were true? I am so fed up with all this small town gossip. Why should she be punished because of something I convinced her to do. It was my idea to drink her potion.”

Helen adjusted her glasses and looked sternly at Cade, as she spoke, “So it’s you that did this? I would have thought much better of you, Cade. You come from a family of upright people and then you go and do this? I am very disappointed in you.” She paused and then spoke to Amelia “And you, if you want to work for me and have your affordable housing, you better stop this filthy behavior right now.” She then told Amelia, dismissively “Now get back to work. And Cade you mind your own business.”

Cade replied, “Tell all these other nosy small town people with nothing better to do, that they should do the same.”

“Why should they?” Helen asked with anger and continued, “If you are not doing anything wrong you should have nothing to hide.” Helen paused, then said “If anyone is doing something shameful, then he or she should and will be shunned. That way it will deter people from doing all things questionable.”

Cade who was now irritated once again said “Well what if everyone knew how you were illegally renting out rooms on your property? Don’t act like you’re so righteous.”

Helen grew very angry and agitated “Shut your mouth young man. Didn’t your parents teach you not to question your elders?”

Quick-witted, Cade replied “Well didn’t yours teach you that honesty is the right thing to do? The way you treat your workers is very dishonest!”

“How would you know how I treat my workers?” Ms. Helen asked with great irritation.

Cade replied, “It’s the talk of the town. Isn’t it something how you say that everyone should know if someone is doing something questionable.”
Helen was speechless.

Amelia smiled brightly at Cade.

Finally, Helen broke the silence and said “Cade, I am appalled by your disrespect, but I don’t have the time to argue with you. Your parents are going to hear about that mouth you have, rest assured.”

She looked at Amelia, then said “Come with me now, you have been standing here, not working all the time Cade and I were arguing. I am going to dock your pay.”

Amelia reluctantly followed from a slight distance, but turned around to look at Cade. She blew him a kiss and then silently said “I love you Cade.” He read her lips and then spoke silently “I love you too, Amelia.” He then blew her a kiss.
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If the [Male] Characters on Y&R Everyday Carried Swiss Army Knives

Yes, I am a guy.

Yes, I am 100% straight.

Yes, I like to watch soap operas, especially Y&R.

I am secure enough in my masculinity to admit this.

However, as a guy, I can appreciate certain things on the soap operas that the overwhelming majority of female viewers tend to overlook.

I tend to notice all of the props used by the characters such as cellular/landline phones, guns/knives, laptops/tablets, and especially flashlights.

By the way, I don’t just notice these in the soap operas but, other shows I watch, like MacGyver.

This piece is me trying to decide which Swiss Army Knife should be edced by certain male [adult] characters on Y&R.

It is written to be a little humorous, as don’t think I have ever seen a Swiss Army Knife ever used by anyone on a soap opera.

I apologize if I am missing a character or two, but I am only going off of those that are currently on the show as of Autumn 2017.

All of these knives and tools should be available for purchase at Fenmore’s Department Store!

I would like to thank Victorinox and Wikipedia for assisting me in the research needed to write this.

Okay, here goes:

Noah Newman should definitely have the Victorinox Wine Master, for the simple fact that he owns bars and nightclubs. He is very hands-on with his businesses and doesn’t mind serving customers.

Nicholas Newman should use the Victorinox Handyman. Despite being a rich, spoiled heir to the Newman fortune, he still is a hard worker and seems like a guy who will roll up his sleeves and get many things done.

Jack Abbott would probably use a Victorinox GolfTool. He seems like the type who would love to play 18 holes when not in the office at Jabot or tending to his family.

Paul Williams even though he is a police chief and not a fire chief should carry the Victorinox Rescue Tool. This is because I have seen and heard of cops performing vehicle rescues when the fire department can’t get there quick enough. Paul is a hands-on leader and many times does the work of his deputies himself.

Cane Ashby should use a Victorinox Work Champ XL because he is now the acting CEO of Chancellor Industries and Lord Knows he can afford one. Not to mention he could impress his board members by getting a plethora of tasks done should any given situation arise.

Colin Atkinson should use a Victorinox Explorer, especially when he travels to his native Australia.

Scott Grainger should use a Victorinox SwissTool Spirit XBS in case he ever needs to assist the good guys with any task in their efforts to expose the bad guys, whether it’s covering newsworthy events in a war zone or busting up a sex trafficking ring.

Michael Baldwin should use a Victorinox Classic with Gold Ingot because he is a wealthy attorney who appreciates fine things. It could be a gift from his wife Lauren. Graham Bloodworth and Neil Winters should also probably carry one of these.

Devon Hamilton should have the Victorinox Traveller, it would definitely come in handy for him, especially when touring the world on his private jet.

Kevin Fisher and Billy Abbott should each carry a Victorinox Midnite Manager@Work. Kevin should because simply because he is a computer whiz and Billy should for storing all of the confidential files he illegally downloaded from Jabot’s servers.

Victor Newman, while he could probably buy all of the Swiss Army Knife models ever made several times over should probably edc the Victorinox Swiss Soldier’s Knife 08, since it is a standard issue item for the German Army (the country from which the actor that portrays him was born and raised.) I believe he does indeed wear a Victorinox wristwatch.

What do you think?

Please let me know…

All of my Funny and Noteworthy Facebook Posts

Some of my blog’s viewers are referred from Facebook, but others are not friends with me on the said social network.

Here is a condensed listing of all the posts I have made on Facebook that were meant to be humorous or noteworthy, at least I thought so. Not everyone gets my humor and/or thought process all the time so I will apologize in advance and ask for your forgiveness ahead of time if you visited this page and didn’t have at least a few laughs or deep thoughts…Check back often for updates.

On February 1, 2020, I posted: “Had a get together at my parents’ house today. We had lunch and then later coffee. My Mom blends CDM coffee and chicory grinds with Luzianne coffee and chicory grinds and this makes an amazing drink. It take it hot and mix it with either milk or cream. No need for sugar, the taste is amazing!”

On January 24, 2020, I posted: “When someone refers to me as a “Grammar Nazi” I don’t get offended, I take it as a compliment! It’s not like I go around correcting anyone else’s grammar. However, I do try to use proper grammar every time I write anything and I’m flattered when others notice. I’ve been this way since about age 25…”

On January 22, 2020, I posted: “What if there was a broadcast subchannel that played classic shows from the mid 1960s through the 1990s into the early 2000s. It could be called “480.” Those of you who understand electronics would understand why…”

On January 21, 2020, I posted: “There’s a clothing line known as “Saint John’s Bay.” Now, I’ve read all the Books in the Bible that Saint John is credited with writing and he never once mentions that he was married or even betrothed to anyone. Oh wait, never mind, it’s spelled with a Y not an E. I guess I’m getting ahead of myself and I also need to use my glasses more often…”

On January 19, 2020, I posted: “Since last Sunday, I started going to a new church. Today, there was a lady in front of me trying to open a bag of snacks, but couldn’t. Well, I always carry a Leatherman Style PS on me because it is legal virtually everywhere. I used the scissors implement on that said multi tool and cut the bag of snacks open for her. And this is why I EDC!”

On January 17, 2020, I posted: “Since infancy, one of my favorite desserts always was Tapioca Pudding. The other day I was reading about it and learned how British schoolchildren refer to it as “fish eyes” and/or “frog spawn.” Well I was eating some just now and was actually grossed out while eating it. I hope I can overcome that disgusting association because it is a staple in my diet. I buy several Hunt’s Snack Packs of it each month to supplement my Calcium and Vitamin D intake (it’s cheaper than milk per ounce.) Furthermore, my Mom also makes it for me from scratch on special occasions and she would be highly insulted if I suddenly refused it…”

On January 16, 2020, I posted: “My kitchen radio, a Radio Shack 12-996, is all about that bass, no treble… I’ve had it since February of 2015.”

On January 12, 2020, I posted: “One of the gifts I got myself for my birthday was a new Casio G-Shock watch, namely the G100-9CM. Synchronizing the digital portion with my Atomic Clock was fairly easy. However, synchronizing the analog portion of it was quite difficult, but I finally figured it out last night. I’ve had my other G- Shock since March of 2016, but something is seriously wrong with it because it will randomly reset itself which literally drives me crazy. Y’all know I’m so anal retentive about having the right time. Which reminds me, I have to synchronize my other watches with the Atomic Clock. There was so much going on around New Year’s Day that I plum forgot…”

On January 11, 2020, I posted: “Congratulations to my sister Emily Monier and her husband Paul Villemarette on their wedding today! I wanted to make a toast last night at the rehearsal supper but for whatever reason I didn’t. I will say it now on social media though: I was a trouble child and I’d like to think I mellowed out since. However, being a troubled child I was frequently in time out. I remember one time in the summer of 1992, I was in time out. I was five and Emily was two at the time. She started bringing me toys, blankets and books while I was in time out, at the risk of getting her own self in trouble. She always had and still does have a very big heart and she always wants to help those in need, both humans and animals. If she remembers to be this way with her husband Paul, they will have a strong, marriage. Likewise I’ve known Paul since late 2014. When he shook my hand the first time, he had a strong grip and I was impressed! Paul is a very kind and hard working young man. There have been times my car was on the blink and he generously fixed it for free! He also has an awesome sense of humor. If he can remember to be kind to Emily, provide for her needs and make her feel special, they will have a solid marriage. I couldn’t think of anyone better for my little sister. What really made me laugh is that I was a big fan of the soap operas and on As the World Turns, there was a super couple named Emily and Paul of which I would frequently joke about. I wish Emily and Paul many years together and I hope they give me some nieces and nephews whom I can spoil!”

On January 10, 2020, I posted: “Well, I was EDCing a Weather Radio in my pocket for my brother’s wedding last April and it looks like I will be EDCing a Weather Radio in my pocket for my sister’s wedding this Saturday. Both weddings had severe weather forecasted on their date, although for my brother’s wedding the front stalled and didn’t arrive until night time. Hopefully for my sister’s the front bringing the severe weather associated with it might pass through in the morning and be out of here in time for the ceremony and festivities…The model that I plan to carry is a Midland HH50B and no one will see it in my pocket though. That is my go to weather radio when traveling or outdoors…”

On January 7, 2020, I posted: “An interesting dream I had a couple of weeks ago was that a Monorail system was installed alongside Park and Main in Terrebonne Parish… Every now and then I get dreams of railroads in places where they currently are not and I always enjoy those dreams!”

On January 6, 2020, I posted: “One time I was sitting in on a Bible Study and there was talk about finding common interests in music as a chance to witness to others. Both Garth Brooks and Pachelebel’s Canon in D were mentioned in the conversation. I kept it to myself, but the Garth Brooks song “Calling Baton Rouge” inspired a scene or two in my “Grocer and Writer” stories and Canon in D, also inspired a scene in those stories. I didn’t comment because while there are some Christian themes in those stories there is also a considerable amount of sin in them…”

On January 4, 2020, I posted: “I would be a happy man if I could find a young lady who would actually eat a pizza with the following toppings: chicken breast meat, mushrooms and red bell peppers or red cherry peppers…I know of a place that would make such a pizza too! It would be just about a miracle if I found someone like that before Valentine’s Day…”

On January 3, 2020, I posted:

“At the risk of sounding like a gaming nerd, I will say that today’s weather definitely reminded me of Planet Tawfret on Jet Force Gemini. I had received that game for Christmas a little over twenty years ago. It was one of my favorite games on the Nintendo 64. My other two favorite games on that console are GoldenEye, of which my Ruger LCP definitely reminds me of the James Bond’s PP7 and Blast Corps and there are certain parts of Houma that remind me of that game, especially along New Orleans Blvd and Coteau Road. As you can see, I used to be quite a gaming nerd in my tweens and very early teens until I discovered scanners and later writing…”

AND

“That aforementioned heating element for my parents’ oven came in today and I installed it, though my back hurt and I was out of breath afterwards. I hope this one also lasts nine years but I’m not counting on it…”

On January 2, 2020, I posted: ” …Today I make 33, though most say I look younger. In some ways, I definitely act 33, in other ways, not so much. I do have some strikes against me but I also have a good bit in my favor. Hopefully 33 will be a good age for me and maybe 34 will be even better. Thank you all for Happy Birthday Wishes, it is truly touching and it is a wonderful thing to be remembered!”

On January 1, 2020, I posted: “I of course do extensive reading about flashlights. Before tactical flashlights were carried by almost everyone who carries a flashlight, the common method of carrying a flashlight amongst tradespeople and transportation workers was to keep 2 D sized heavy duty industrial grade flashlight in the right back pants pocket. This was most common in the 1960s through the 1980s or 1990s. I briefly did this in the early 2010s decade while working as a grocer, mostly to express my individuality and my fondness for flashlights in such a spirit crushing work environment. I’ve been trying on and off to revive this practice, but hadn’t had much success. Anyway, how about wearing a white tee shirt, a newsboy hat, black, brown or khaki slacks, some casual shoes or work boots and a current or vintage industrial grade flashlight for the right back pocket. It would protrude face up from the pocket. I could see hipsters definitely doing this! Of course those that carry flashlights anyway would have a more compact tactical model in one of their side pockets. I do plan to write more extensively about this on my blog in the upcoming days!”

On December 29, 2019, I posted: “Rest in Peace Maw Maw…I know you and I didn’t see eye to eye on many things, but you were a pillar of the family and community and I truly enjoyed visiting with you!”

On December 25, 2019, I posted: “Well I just had Christmas Dinner with my family and while there was no drama, something troublesome happened: My Mom was heating up the green bean casserole in the oven and the heating element decided to give out. Well, it had a long life, as I installed it over nine years ago. I’m honestly surprised it lasted that long. But the part of the element that broke got as bright as a Halogen floodlight and caught on fire. So I quickly shut off the oven. My brother and his wife brought their two dogs and my Mom has a cat who is the meanest thing on four legs. She always puts that cat in the master bedroom when the dogs come so he doesn’t hurt them. Well, out of precaution I decide to shut off the breaker that serves the oven and to do so, I needed to go to the closet in the master bedroom. I was so focused on getting that breaker shut off that I left the door to the master bedroom open and that hateful cat got out. So after I shut off the breaker I am in the front foyer and the cat is getting ready to pick a fight with the two dogs. I shouted for him to “Get!” And he runs around the house and the dogs are chasing him. He’s declawed but he still has needle sharp teeth and he has bitten me before. I’m so afraid he bites the dogs in their jugular veins and kills them. A three ring circus ensued trying to catch that cat and restrain the dogs and it required all hands on deck. My sister and her fiancee caught the cat and locked him in the master bedroom, to which he bit her, when usually he loves only her and my Mom. Everything calmed down, we exchanged gifts then after dinner, I disconnected and removed the heating element from the oven but my lower back muscles acted up whilst I was doing so. It was nearly broken in two from melting. My Dad is going to order a new heating element in the morning and I will install it, when it comes in, provided my lower back muscles cooperate…”
On December 24, 2019, I posted:
“I didn’t make this up, I had observed an elderly couple conversing and heard this gem back in 2006:
Wife: “Well, we all have faults…”
Husband: “No! The only time I ever have faults is when I eat white beans.””
On December 23, 2019, I posted:
“The first school setting for me was in either the nursery or preschool at Thibodaux Assembly of God. I had just made four and attended there from January to July of 1991. We would start each day with, “I Pledge Allegiance to The Bible.” I then started going to Saint Mary’s Nativity School in August of 1991 and we would start each day with, “I Pledge Allegiance to the Flag.” For the first few days, I would try saying, “I Pledge Allegiance to The Bible” but was met with a stifling hostility from the teacher and aide…”

AND

“I haven’t written too much fiction this year, but while laying down today I was inspired to write a new series of stories, something I will call, “Second Chances.” I wrote one piece to them so far and hope to write many others. In time, they will be available on my blog…They will be written in a similar Post Modern fashion as my “Grocer and Writer” stories and I will borrow some themes from there as well, but hopefully it won’t be too offensive.”
On December 22, 2019, I posted: “I know there are still a few days left in 2019, but for me the year can be summed up by two Johnny Cash songs. For the overwhelming majority of this year the song was “I Walk the Line.” However, since the 4th and 5th of December it has been much more like, “Sunday Morning Coming Down.” The only difference is I don’t smoke…”

On December 21, 2019, I posted: “The other night I was shopping at the West Houma Wal Mart and the was a Sheriff’s Deputy working a security detail there. I thought he looked somewhat like the musician Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner, more famously known as “Sting.” I told him so and I also told him that the ironically Sting’s band was known as “The Police.” We both got a good laugh from that. I was really depressed that day, but that event put a smile on my face…What’s really ironic is that Sting’s band was known as The Police but sang songs about illegal activities, such as inappropriate relationships with a minor in “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” and stalking an ex in “Every Breath You Take.””
On December 20, 2019, I posted:
“I had a dream that the doughnut shop in Raceland was selling small coconuts for 69¢ a pound and they would even open them up for the customer. I bought one with pocket change but before I could eat it, my car was broken in to, however nothing important was stolen. I woke up before I could eat the coconut and was pretty ticked off…It would be cool if that doughnut shop would start selling coconuts as a healthier alternative, but not only that, the part of Raceland in which it is located always reminded me of the Carribean, both at the conscious and subconscious levels…”

AND

“A recurring theme in the stories I write many times entailed a young star crossed couple who had been just about in love as children, then cruelly and suddenly separated then reunited as teenagers or young adults, but then both are tragically killed and die together in each other’s arms. I had since gotten away from that theme, but I got a lot of kudos for writing stuff like that, especially in my teen years…”
On December 18, 2019, I posted: “I began writing a series of stories back in February of 2017 known as “A Disabled Electrician turned Writer.” I named most of the characters after cats my family raised. It was initially supposed to be a less offensive off-shoot of my “Grocer and Writer” stories and it still is to a high degree, but it is way too suggestive and risque` for my blog…”
On December 17, 2019, I posted: “If Rudolph had a nose like a lightbulb, then maybe Santa bought the lightbulbs at Schwegmann’s when they were on sale. After all, according to Benny Grinch, Santa and his reindeer used to live at the corner of Broad and Saint Bernard..”
On December 14, 2019, I posted: “When Spring comes back again, I know the perfect way to have a picnic on a budget: Go to Wal Mart and buy a couple 2 Liter bottles of your favorite Sam’s Choice soft drink. Then go to the deli section a buy a an 8 piece fried chicken platter. Afterwards go to the grocery section and buy a loaf or two of sliced white bread and a jar of sandwich spread. Then pay for your items and go to the nearest park. The worst part of all this is deboning the chicken, but you will have some awesome chicken sandwiches!”

On December 13, 2019, I posted:
“When I think of the true Christian Church which is present amongst all denominations, I think of a pale, plus-sized young lady who is very sweet, but also shy and bashfull. When Christ looks at her, He is filled with love and of course, she looks back at Him smiling from ear to ear and blushing! When I think of all false religion I think of a seasoned harlot, who is toned, muscular and armed to the tee. When Christ looks at her, He is overcome with grief and sorrow and she tries to expose her body to Him, but He averts His eyes. She becomes filled with rage and tries to kill the young lady…This is from a vision I had back in August of 2013.”

AND

“Real Estate professionals have been using the Hewlett-Packard HP-12C as their go-to calculator since 1981. I wonder what, if any, calculator is used by a community organizer?…”

On December 11, 2019, I posted:
“Here is something rare from me (a political post): The way I see it, both parties have miserably failed us. The Democrats want to create a society that George Orwell would write about and The Republicans want to create a society that Charles Dickens would write about…”

AND

“A common theme in the stories I write is about a young man down and out, can’t catch a break and struggling to get by. But then he meets a young lady who is crazy about him and he feels the same way. They make each other very happy and that happiness makes whatever life throws at them more than bearable… This was especially true in my “Grocer and Writer” stories…”

On December 10, 2019, I posted: “For those of you who don’t already know this: I believe with ever particle of my being that Big Beautiful Women are the most wonderful, magnificent and precious out of all God’s creations! Whenever I have the happy privilege of beholding one I feel immensely giddy and am filled with awestruck admiration”

On December 9, 2019, I posted: “Is anyone else besides me a George Ezra fan? The first time I heard his music, the song Budapest, was on April 14, 2016. I was in East Houma driving on Prospect Boulevard, leaving Pizza Hut and it was playing on my car radio. I had been listening to barge traffic on my scanner earlier that day. In May of 2018 I would actually meet one of the bridge tenders whose voice I heard on my scanner that day…Anyway up until very recently I could relate with the lyrics, but instead of a house in Budapest, it was an apartment outside of Houma, instead of a hidden treasure chest it was a box of calculators I had collected over the years and instead of a golden grand piano, it was a desktop computer on which I write. But I still have all those things, even though I am all alone now. I’m not rich by any stretch of the imagination so there was nothing to compare to a beautiful Castillo, but maybe one day I’ll have an old house in the New Orleans area and I’ll find other ways to act like the characters in the stories I write…”

On December 8, 2019, I posted: “Fun fact: I was listening to Dave Matthews when I wrote my first story on the evening of April 10, 2003…”

On December 7, 2019, I posted: “I’ve noticed that God let’s unbelievers do whatever they please…However He keeps His own children on a very short leash!”

On December 6, 2019, I posted: “It’s not just old men who talk about the weather, but I know old women love to talk about old men!”

On December 5, 2019, I posted: “I’ve learned not to put my trust in mankind but rather God…Mankind cannot keep promises, but God always does.”

On December 3, 2019, I posted: “It’s not quite New Year’s Eve yet, but I’ve already decided what my New Year’s resolution will be: To stop being passive aggressive because it is a very ungodly behavior…This will require radical change that only God Himself could bring about, but I realize it needs to be done! Pray for me!”

On December 1, 2019, I posted: “Some more Biblical humor: I think Pontius Pilate was the first Post Modernist, because he asked Jesus, “What is truth?” As recorded in John 18:38…”

On November 28, 2019, I posted: “This may be weird to some but I think it’s also appropriate for the season: I associate the smell of dust and sweat with putting up Christmas decorations in the days after Thanksgiving. The smell of the dust is from the decorations being stored for the past several months and the smell of sweat is from the physical activity of bringing the boxes and boxes of decorations downstairs, unpacking them and then putting them on display. Because the weather was usually cool and dry, the sweat smell wasn’t really that offensive…I apologise if that was gross to anyone out there, but it’s a legit memory…I also tend to associate the smell of brand new out of the box electronic devices with Christmas Morning, especially the speaker grilles on personal radios and boom boxes.”

On November 26, 2019, I posted: “One of my favorite video games as a tween and early teen was Blast Corps. In those days, my Dad would frequently bring my siblings and myself to the Bayouland YMCA to go swimming. To get to the Y from Raceland where we lived, one would have to take the Old Highway 90 (now Highway 182) and that meant passing through the Northeastern outskirts of Houma (where I live now.). That area always reminded me of several levels in Blast Corps and still does to this day! This is because of the tank farms on Coteau Road east of Highway 182 and also on Highway 182 between Hollywood Road and Cenac Bend. There is also the amphibious equipment company FrogCo which is located on Coteau Road West of 182 and their equipment reminds me of some of the machines in that video game. Then there is the Intracoastal Waterway and there is a waterway with a boat and more tank farms in one of the early levels of Blast Corps…I used to be quite a gamer until I discovered radio technology at age 14…By the way my other favorite game was 007 GoldenEye.”

On November 20, 2019, I posted: “Speaking of Linux, I know Linus Torvalds, the original creator of Linux is an atheist, but for years I had wanted a distro of Linux that could be used on the computers of churches and Christian schools. Something that would be similar to the Ubuntu class, especially like EduBuntu, is what it would be like. Churches and schools could buy or build low or moderately priced computers and use them in their offices, classrooms and even in their worship services. If I had any experience in writing software, which I don’t, that would be my project!”

On November 19, 2019, I posted: “Well as cold as it’s been, I just saw a snake. I tried beating it with a mop handle but it got away. Thank God it was only a garter snake, which is indeed venomous, a very mild neurotoxin, but harmless to a human. For the record all snakes are venomous to some degree or another, just not all venoms are dangerous to human beings…”

On November 18, 2019, I posted: “Yes, I use the word “durn” and its derivatives such as “durnit” a lot, especially when something upsets me or to stress emphasis on something. That’s because I think it is nicer than saying the actual cuss word of which it represents. I try my best not to cuss, especially when ladies are present. Those that know me well enough may think that I heard a little boy associated with my now ex-in-laws’ family saying it and that is where I learned it, but that is not the case. While I did find it funny when he frequently said it, I had been using it since childhood and first heard my Dad saying it back in 1989 because the dryer was giving trouble. The reason why I found it so funny when that little boy would frequently say the word “durn”, is because I frequently said it as a child and it was one of the forbidden words where I went to school. Somehow at that fascist school, Saint Mary’s Nativity, “dang” and all its derivatives were allowed but “durn” was forbidden, which automatically made it funny…”

On November 16, 2019, I posted: “Last night I was shopping at my local Ruble, I mean Dollar General. I got one pound of spaghetti pasta for a whole 85 Cents and I was happy about that! However, the said store was out of my favorite spaghetti sauce, which is Ragu` Chunky Garden Combination. I ended up buying Ragu` Orginal Old World Style. I just ate some a few minutes ago and it was better than I initially thought but it doesn’t hold a candle to the Garden Combination sauce. I don’t care for the Hunt’s spaghetti sauce because, even though it is cheaper, it comes in a can, which warps the taste. One of these days I might try Prego, but currently, I am extremely prejudiced in favor of Ragu`, specifically the Garden Combination…”

On November 10, 2019, I posted: “Here’s a fun fact: I didn’t see Ghostbusters until 2014 and I watched it on Netflix. That means Ghostbusters had been a thing for about thirty years before I actually watched it. It was back in May of 2014. May 27 to be exact. I was living in the Sugarland area of Raceland at the time, but traveled to Bayou Blue later that day. I had discovered that day how cool The Prospect Truck Stop was on that day and am now a frequent customer. Later that evening, it was dark and a truck had gone off the road in front of Sugarland Shopping Center, in Raceland so because I was carrying a flashlight like I always do, I had assisted those involved in getting out the ditch. Some impatient motorist got angry with me and called me a name which I won’t repeat because he took The Lord’s Name in vain and said other filthy words…Where were you the first time you saw Ghostbusters?”

On November 9, 2019, I posted: “I posted on Instagram but forgot to forward it to here (Facebook) an image of how my weather instruments were reading that the barometric pressure on the Northeastern Outskirts of Houma was 29.97 inches of Mercury and falling. Well, according to the Weather Radio, NOAA’s 3:00 PM (15:00) pressure observation for Houma was a little higher 30.1x inches of Mercury but also falling. For the neighboring cities: At Patterson, it was also 30.1x inches but steady. At New Iberia it was also 30.1x inches and falling. Again I wish NOAA would broadcast the pressure observations in more than just three cities for their Morgan City station. I still wonder if that cold front which is due here Monday or Tuesday is what is causing the pressure to fall…”

On November 6, 2019, I posted: “There was a song that came out back in 1999 or so by Limp Bizkit and Method Man titled “N 2 Gether Now.”
I won’t be posting it on my timeline because of all the bad language it contains, but there is a line in that song where Method Man says,
“…Eight essential vitamins and minerals,
Delicious…”
That line always made me laugh. Every time I’m making groceries especially if I’m purchasing NesQuik or Ovaltine (whichever is on sale), or even any fortified cereal, I whisper it to myself…”

On November 3, 2019, I posted: “Well, yesterday I was blessed by God. There was a certain portable Weather Radio I had my eyes on for a while. It is an Oregon Scientific WR601N and usually runs for around $40-$60 brand new but I bought one in like-new condition at my local GoodWill for $1.97! It performs flawlessly! The antenna is much more rugged than on my Midland HH54VP2 and HH50B radios. I’ll possibly write a review of this radio on my blog in the upcoming weeks…Praise God is all I can say!”

On October 28, 2019, I posted: “I happened to glance at my weather instruments and noticed that the barometric pressure is currently 29.96 inches and falling. So I turned on my weather radio and learned that the pressure in neighboring cities is also falling. After I post this, I am going to look at the national RADAR composite and see if some storms are headed this way…”

On October 27, 2019, I posted: “Even though I had some very pure motives when I wrote my “Grocer and Writer” stories; I was still being extremely passive-aggressive. And yes I had some ulterior, therefore, not so pure motives as well. This was mostly out of my reaction to as well as my observation of the then political setup, the then economy, my environment(s) of the time and times recently prior to and others around me at the time, which was initiated in the Summer of 2014. In addition, it was art imitating life, most notably life affected by Post Modernism. My ultimate goal of writing these stories was to teach that everyone deserves to love and be loved. I completed the initial versions of them in November of 2016 and wrote the prequel in September of 2018…”

On October 26, 2019, I posted: “During the power failure this morning it was too cold to stand outside. The high humidity and constant wind probably made it feel colder. Now before everyone jumps on me I will admit and declare that I’d rather a power failure during cold weather than one during warm or hot weather. While I had my flashlights ready as usual (I shaved by the light of my flashlight) my power bank was dead and I had to charge my phone which was at 19% from my car…”

On October 23, 2019, I posted: “When I was a Junior in high school I had to do a Mole Project for Chemistry. I did a CNN-like Power Point presentation about Robert Hansen who was an American intelligence mole. I told the class that back in 1985 he had given ~6.022*E23 floppy disks containing sensitive US information to the Soviets. I went on to describe how he was caught 15-16 years later and sentenced to death. This was probably the only 100/100 score I had in Chemistry. I also did an encore presentation in my American History class…Don’t get me wrong, Math and Science fascinate me, but I’m terrible at them and they are way above my head. I still EDC at least two calculators, though, and one of them is pretty high spec. However people tell me quite often that I am gifted with English and Social Studies…”

On OCtober 21, 2019, I posted: “I’m not home and I didn’t pack my stand by Weather Radio (Midland WR-120EZ. I still have my pocket sized Weather Radio (Midland HH50B), but I cannot leave it on continuously, so that is why I haven’t been forwarding Weather Alerts like I usually do. On top of all that my Midland Weather Center app is on the blink and I don’t know why… I’m glad other people are forwarding Weather Alerts though.”

On October 15, 2019, I posted: “My dream vehicle used to be a Chevrolet Apache from the 1950s. Now my dream vehicle is a 1972 Dodge D100 because that is what my Paw Paw, God rest his soul, used to drive. He did sell me his Buick Century just a few weeks before he passed away though.”

On October 13, 2019, I posted: “Someone whom I tremendously respect first taught me about the ill effects of Post Modernism when I was in my early twenties. Under his teaching, I began to notice these ill-effects everywhere I looked. When I wrote stuff like my “Grocer and Writer” stories, I was merely observing what today’s society is truly like and I blame the bulk of it on Post Modern teaching and thought. However, I took it too far when writing those stories and I’ll admit that it seems as though I approve what goes on in those stories I write, but deep down I do not approve and I get the daylights convicted out of me every time I try to promote these stories. Ultimately, I was trying to teach that everyone deserves to love and be loved, so that is my motive for still trying to share the less sinful or non-sinful parts of these stories…”

On October 11, 2019, I posted: “Ever since I’ve lived alone, whenever I made a spaghetti, I’d always used Ragu` Chunky Garden Combination Sauce. Today, I tried a slightly different sauce, namely, Ragu` Chunky Mama’s Special Garden Sauce…I think I prefer the former over the latter as far as taste, texture and flavor are concerned. However, I do find that the latter does satisfy hunger better and it feels good in the stomach after eating it. I am highly disappointed that the latter doesn’t have nearly as many vegetables as the former. I will probably be going back to the former whenever I make spaghetti…”

On October 10, 2019, I posted: “I’ve come to the conclusion that Yukon Gold Potatoes are the absolute best for making home made French Fries and home made potato chips…”

On October 9, 2019, I posted: “I’m receiving a very strange signal on my Weather Radio. It sounds like Motorola Pager tones. Would anyone in the Houma Thibodaux area with a scanner or Weather radio check the frequency 162.475 MHz to see if you are getting this signal as well? I initially thought there was an impending missile attack…”

On October 7, 2019, I posted: “The Raceland Junction on the northeastern outskirts of Raceland, Louisiana, is a wonderful place to watch trains. I don’t know why whoever was in charge decided to block it off to the public. I used to go there in my mid twenties and was once accused of terrorism, until the track foreman realized I was just a harmless foamer…”

On October 6, 2019, I posted: “It was three years ago today that I launched my blog. I launched it after the untimely death of a fellow aspiring writer and realized that I have a gift that needs to be shared…”

On October 3, 2019, I posted: “So, I’ve got some things on my mind and I was walking around outside to think. Suddenly I was confronted by a vicious and probably rabid racoon. It growled and hissed me, which totally caught me off guard. In a split second decision, I screamed, “GET!” at the top of my lungs. That racoon fled. I turned on my Streamlight Junior to scan my surroundings in order to make sure it was gone. Then I remembered reading a story of a Buddhist monk upon whom a tiger was about to attack. He shouted a single syllable at the top of his lungs and it scared the tiger away. That supposedly was the birth of screaming as a defense tactic in martial arts to deter and disorient an attacker…”

On September 29, 2019, I posted:
“I have raised my proverbial Stone of Ebeneezer and God has helped me! I praise His Holy Name!”

AND

“Today makes 23 years that the Nintendo 64 was released in America. Actually I remember playing the display model at the Wal Mart in Mathews on September 29, 1996! It was a Sunday and my Dad was shopping there with my brother, sister and myself. I was playing the Womp’s Fortress level on Super Mario 64. The flashlight that I was EDCing at the time was a black plastic 2 AA Brinkmann with a glow in the dark bezel switch. This is the only flashlight from my childhood that I could not find a replacement of nor any record of it online…I only wish I could remember what I was doing on September 11, 1996, because on that dreadful day Southern Pacific ceased to exist…”

On September 28, 2019, I posted: “As popular as “The Simpsons” is, I’m very surprised that there is only one real life replica of their house. I first learned about that house in a Time For Kids magazine I read in fourth grade! To me, I would have figured there to be at least half a dozen real life replicas. As a child and into my teens, I was a huge fan of “The Simpsons”, now not so much. However, I appreciate the Post Modern elements of the show and will admit that it did have an impact on my writing…”

On September 26, 2019, I posted:
“Since 2016, I have casually mentioned that the “new” voice featured on Weather Radio reminds me of Governor Bel Edwards’ voice. Apparently, I’m not the only one who thinks that either. What is funny is that Bel Edwards became governor of Louisiana in 2016 and that new voice on Weather Radio was also implemented in 2016…”

AND

“Twice this year, 2019, I had purchased a gently used, digital ready television set from Good Will. The first one I bought last January was an Emerson 19 inch tube model, for $9.99, which I keep at a family member’s house that I frequent. Today, I got an Insignia 19 inch LED model for only $6.99 which I did connect to an antenna but use it mainly as a computer monitor. I can say with total confidence that there is better content on broadcast television than on cable television, though this wasn’t always the case…”

On September 25, 2019, I posted:
“Usually, I keep a pocket sized Weather radio (Midland HH50B) in my backpack. However, when I am traveling, I keep it my my pants pocket next to my Streamlight Junior. My backpack is usually between my feet unless I am driving. What is really cool is that some states have Weather Radio feeds in there rest areas that are accessible at the push of a button. I wish that feature was implemented Nationwide and I also wish that all car radios came with the seven weather channels built in, like in addition to AM and FM.”

AND

“I wish Entergy AKA LP&L would still use VHF Low Band for their communications like they did decades ago and SLECA still does. At least have it as a backup…All of my scanners save one very basic model can intercept SLECA’s communications but none of them can intercept Entergy’s AKA LP&L’s communications…”

On September 23, 2019, I posted: “I’m just realizing that today makes eight years that I am no longer a Grocer…However, I am still very much a Writer!”

On September 19, 2019, I posted: “There are two weather radio stations in this area on the same frequency, namely 162.475. They are WXL41 out of Buras and KIH23 in Morgan City. I have a 46 year old pocket sized weather radio (Realistic 12-162) that picks up both of them simultaneously and that results in garbled reception. Most of my other weather radios have more modern circuitry so they accept the closer signal from Morgan City and filter out the signal from Buras. I wish the station in Buras would get on a different frequency, so I could then be able to tune it in and hear the marine, shipping and fishing forecasts for Leeville, Grand Isle and Port Fourchon…”

On September 16, 2019, I posted: “Almost everyone who knows me well enough, knows of my obsession with trains. I am so obsessed with trains that I dream about railroad lines in places where they currently do not exist. For example: I frequently dream about a railroad line on either side of the 40 Arpent Canal in Raceland. I have dreamed about a branchline that comes off the main in West Gibson and runs parallel to Bayou Black all the way to Houma and there is even a depot. I have dreamed about a branchline from the main in Schriever to the Bayou Blue area that runs between Bayou Blue Ridge and Coteau Ridge on a course similar to the Saint Louis Canal. I have dreamed about a line that starts at a marine terminal on the Gulf Intracoastal Waterway in Village East and goes towards Raceland on a course parallel to Prospect Extension and Highway 182/Highway 653 and tieing in the the previosly mentioned line. I have dreamed of a railroad that runs parallel to MLK Boulevard in Houma and Bayou Cane and ties in with the other mentioned lines. I have dreamed of a railroad that goes from Houma to Bourg to Lockport parallel to the Company Canal. I have dreamed of a railroad from Larose to Port Fourchon, running parallel to Highway 308. And the most bizarre, I have dreamed of an elevated mainline from Dowtown Houma to Chauvin to Chalmette, because the whole area was flooded but there were no specific details on its course. Okay, now I will try to get some sleep and it would be downright amazing if I had another one of those dreams. If any model railroaders want more details on this PM me!”

On September 15, 2019, I posted: “I know Christmas is a ways off still, but I really like that time of year. My favorite Christmas special was aired in December of 1992 and was known as “Noel.” It was about a red glass ornament by the same name. I’ve only got one issue with it and it is this: As the narrator, Charlton Heston is telling the story, he speaks this line, “Then came the terrible thing of January 2nd.” Now I’m not mad at him for saying that my birthday is a terrible thing per se, but he is incorrect. I’ll admit that as a five going on six year old, I was marginally upset. The real reason why he is incorrect is that in all of Western Christianity, there are Twelve Days of Christmas from December 25 to January 6. So what Charlton Heston really should have said was, “Then came the terrible thing of January 7th.” By the way, it is still my favorite Christmas special because it teaches a lot of good things…”

On September 13, 2019, I posted:
“Radio Skip is pretty strong tonight. There is plenty to hear on my scanners…”

AND

“Well, the Jalapeno Cheeseburger I like so much that is sold at the Circle K was not discontinued. In fact I had one yesterday afternoon!”

On September 11, 2019, I posted: “If Hurricane Humberto comes to Louisiana, I think the town of Oakdale will be hit hardest…”

On september 10, 2019, I posted:
“There is a certain Jalapeno Cheeseburger sold at the Circle K. I have been eating one at least once a week for the past several months. I really enjoy it. I shop at Circle K almost on a daily basis, either to buy gasoline or a quick meal. However for the past two days, that jalapeno cheeseburger I like so much wasn’t in stock. I hope it wasn’t discontinued. Yesterday I had a fried chicken sandwich, which was okay but nothing to scream about and quite expensive. This evening, I had a beef and bean burrito that was pretty good. However, I miss my jalapeno cheeseburger and hope it wasn’t discontinued, but that would be a first world problem if it was. I’m very grateful to be immensely blessed in so many other ways that I have no room to gripe. I do indeed appreciate the ample sized soft drinks from the fountain tap for only 79¢ at the Circle K, they even have Wild Cherry Pepsi…”

AND

“I have to admit that those Banquet dinners offer a hearty and balanced meal that is very affordable and will hold you up! My favorite meal from Banquet is the turkey with stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes and green peas. Now I have the strength to fix fog lights!”

On September 7, 2019, I posted: “I’ve noticed this since about April of 2016 and I probably mentioned it before, but there are two Italian restaurants in the Houma suburb of Bayou Cane that remind me of the “Five Nights at Freddy’s” franchise. The first one is West Main Pizza and Spaghetti, because of the locale’s physical characteristics, especially the carpeting. I think that building and that neighborhood, in general, is so neat. The other is Sicily’s Ultimate Italian Buffet, because of their arcade section…”

On september 5, 2019, I posted: “Between January 2005 and April of 2005 I had lost about seventy pounds! This was accomplished by Keto style dieting and taking a very nasty pill known as Topamax (AKA Dopamax), which a psychiatrist gave me as a mood stabilizer in addition to Risperdal but also to lose weight. This drug combination, though was the main reason for my poor grades, because they did significantly lower my brain function in addition to a plethora of other nasty side effects. From January of 2006 until the summer of 2007, and from April 2010 to present I took Geodon. In the summer of 2007 until April of 2010, I took Abilify, which caused me to go from my 160s all the way to the 260s at one point. It works great mentally and I graduated trade school, even made the Dean’s List one semester while taking it, Abilify works wonders mentally, but unfortunately, it causes debilitating weight gain. Geodon doesn’t work nearly as well as Abilify, but it has the fewest amount of side effects and I’m still heavy but not as heavy as when I was on Abilify…”

On September 4, 2019, I posted: “Today makes one year that my Paw Paw had died. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him. He had a huge impact on my life and proof of that is in my cover photo. He also made me laugh even when I was in the worst of moods. I miss him..”

On September 1, 2019, I posted: “Computers and Spiritual Matters: As far as I can see, lost/worldly people are like computers running Windows. Christians are like computers that formerly ran Windows, but now have the version of Linux best suited for their specs. Ministers are like Android devices, but a true minister of The Gospel is like an Android device that is well maintained and protected from viruses and a false teacher is like an Android device corrupted by a trojan horse. Angels are like Apple iOS devices. And, of course, God is an Apple Macintosh. Microsoft (DOS/Windows) is worldly wisdom and Unix (Apple/Linux/Android) is Biblical wisdom…”

On August 31, 2019, I posted: “Okay, does anyone else wear a Casio G-Shock? I’ve owned mine since March of 2016. I wore it daily from that time until the Summer of 2018. Then I bought two Swiss watches at a significant discount. I find Casio to be more accurate at keeping time than both of my Swiss watches! However, for the past few months, my G-Shock has been acting up. The display will go in and out and sometimes it will reset itself randomly, which is very frustrating for me because I am super anal about having the right time. My Dad once asked me, “What are you [Eric John], the train system in Europe?” The chime and alarm don’t always activate either. I’m hoping this is just a weak battery. Have any other G-Shock owners experienced this issue? If it is the battery, whom can I take it to locally to have it replaced and cleaned (either Houma-Thibodaux or New Orleans area)? My model is the DW-5600E 2010-to-present version.”

On August 15, 2019, I posted:
“Whatever the cost of our government’s Weather Surveillance RADAR network is, to me, it’s worth every penny! The same goes for our Weather Radio broadcasts!”

AND

“I had some Rouse’s fried chicken yesterday evening. It tasted like Cracker Barrel fried chicken much to my surprise. Why can’t it always taste like that?”

On August 13, 2019, I posted: “I’m sorry but DGM Smart Mail Ground has got to be the most inefficient and incompetent shipping method there is. I thought FedEx was pretty bad but this is even worse!”

On August 12, 2019, I posted: “I’m not even halfway through the month, but my 4G LTE data has been throttled to a speed that is only appropriate for dialing into a Bulletin Board System. It is as if I had been catapulted thirty years into the past, technology wise, but unfortunately there is no more Temple of the Screaming Electron to enjoy…”

On August 6, 2019, I posted: “I wish US 90 between Lafayette and the West Bank Expressway would be upgraded to Interstate status more quickly. The main reason why I want this is so we can finally have a Cracker Barrell in the Houma-Thibodaux area. However I don’t think it should be known as Interstate 49. Rather I think it should be known as Interstate 6…”

On August 4, 2019, I posted: “In reference to the Dayton Ohio shooting, I used to think that City was safe. I mean, I’ve watched trains in Downtown Dayton in the middle of the night and no one ever made trouble with me (I even had my scanner radio on full blast.) That was not at all far from where the shooting took place. I also was in Wal Mart today making groceries. I stand by my beliefs that we don’t have a gun problem but we definitely do have a heart problem and only God can solve it. And the only way He can solve it is with The Precious Blood of His Son Jesus Christ!”

On August 1, 2019, I posted: “If I could afford it, I would eat Sushi every day. I love the taste of it and I equally love the way it makes me feel mentally…”

On July 22, 2019, I posted:
“Today would have been my Paw Paw’s 95th Birthday if he was still with us…I miss him. I miss his words of wisdom. I miss his wonderful sense of humor. I miss his cooking. I miss his storytelling. And I miss his extremely loud and abrupt sneezing that could be heard from a block away… ”

AND

“I rarely get blocked, and it has been over a year since the last time I’ve been blocked, but I was blocked yesterday, for what I speculate to be me correcting someone who put an inappropriate comment on my timeline. Probably what contributed to this blocking was the subsequent post I made about the word “mad” also meaning “poop” in another language, namely, Cajun French, since supposedly “bae” MIGHT mean “poop” in Danish. I didn’t name any names in that post, but I guess I made that person feel inferior, so to make himself feel better he blocked me…This is a problem of society as a whole where we think we can make all unpleasant or uncomfortable feelings disappear, but all this does is ruin our social skills and our ability to resolve conflict…The same principle applies to ghosting, but that is a whole other story…These negative behaviors will eventually bring about a dystopian society, just like in a certain story I wrote, we’re already on our way towards that. Okay, rant over, because if I continue, this post will become politically charged…”
On July 20, 2019, I posted: “For those that say “bae” means “poop” in Danish, I will give you a fun fact that will blow your mind: “mad” means “poop” in Cajun French…Are you going to call someone out on social media for using the word “mad”?”

On July 18, 2019, I posted: “Hurricane Barry pretty much distracted me from my Christmas in July posts, but a few minutes ago I was making some Cherry Kool Aid and while I was mixing it, the smell reminded me of Cherry Cordials AKA Cherry Sips, which are sold and given as gifts during Christmas Time. I’ve been writing for my blog, as many of you know but right now I am working on my computer, because I am fed up with my current opening system. I’m switching from Elementary OS to Peppermint OS but I may try others as well…”

On July 13, 2019, I posted: “I believe the NOAA Weather Radio station KIH23 out of Morgan City, Louisiana has gone down… I’m not receiving any signals. The frequency is 162.475 if anyone else wants to check…”

On July 11, 2019, I posted: “Hurricane Warning in effect…Stand by for further updates…”

On July 10, 2019, I posted: “Let’s hear it for SLECA! If you break wind too hard, the power goes out…”

On July 5, 2019, I posted: “Yesterday evening I watched “Live from Baghdad.” If that movie is accurate, then CNN has fallen very far from grace. If I continue this post will get politically charged. But, why can[‘nt] we have journalism like it was back then and before then?”

On July 2, 2019, I posted: “Well praise God, I have found the flashlight that I misplaced. It was in the recliner at my parents’ house where it fell out of my pants pocket. This flashlight has lots of sentimental value to me because it’s a Mini Maglite with a Night Vision Green lens. Long before I met Tracie Brasseaux, I was fascinated with tactical flashlights from the late 1980s and early 1990s. But this type of flashlight configuration was immensely popular in Operation Desert Storm, during which Tracie was born…Thank you Mrs. Shirley Cunningham for your kind and encouraging words!”

On July 1, 2019, I posted:
“I’m disappointed and depressed because I misplaced one of my favorite flashlights. It’s a Mini Maglite that I fitted with a military grade night vision green lens. These were very popular in Operation Desert Storm, during which my girlfriend Tracie Brasseaux was born. That is why it has such a sentimental value to me. It would basically take a miracle for me to find it though. I think I lost it on the grass near my apartment…”

AND

“So there is a Tropical Storm named Barbara. If it becomes a Hurricane, is it going to hit Springfield again? Is the town’s most devout resident going to lose his house the subsequently commit himself to a psychiatric ward?”

AND

“Warning This post is politically charged: So, back in early 2014, I had a nightmare that Obama, who was president at the time, had passed an executive order that drastically limited the brightness of flashlights if they were to be owned by civilians…Needless to say I was sure glad when I woke up from that awful dream.”

On June 30, 2019, I posted: “Today makes five years since I began writing those “Grocer and Writer” stories. I know some people love those stories and some people hate them. I think the ones that love them recognize the good values I was attempting to teach, whereas those who hate them, do so because these stories somehow, in some way shape or form, are in conflict with the narrative they believe in or the agenda they subscribe to. (If I continue, this post will become politically charged.) So, love them or hate them, I’ve made all of them (at least the edited versions) available on my blog, which I will be giving the link in the following posts…”

On June 29, 2019, I posted: “Is it just me or does anyone else frequently wish we were in the season that is the opposite of the season we are currently in? In other words, when it is Summer do you wish it to be Winter or when it is Spring do you wish it to be Autumn (and vice versa)? Maybe that is why Christmas in July is a thing…Speaking of Christmas in July, in the upcoming days and weeks, stay tuned to my Facebook and Instagram pages for Christmas in July pictures and I will try to put a very short story with each image I post. For the record these are not my images, but the stories I make up about them are completely mine…”

On June 26, 2019, I posted: “Has anyone on The Cajun Coast listened to their Weather Radio over the past few weeks and heard reports of Tropical Funnel Clouds caused by interaction of sea breeze and a frontal boundary near Cypermort Point in Lower Saint Mary Parish? It seems every that June for the past few years, the Weather Radio has reported this, but I haven’t been listening to my Weather Radio like I usually do, so I don’t know if this phenomenon occurred this year or not…”

On June 25, 2019, I posted: “July is coming so that means I plan to post lots of Christmasy images because of Christmas in July. And for each image I will try to post a very short story that could potentially be inspired by that image…I will post them on my Instagram but they should be forwarded to here (Facebook.)”

On June 24, 2019, I posted: “Yesterday I fried some chicken for myself and my parents for Sunday Dinner. However, after the meal, we were talking about Rice Pudding and I had mentioned a brand of it sold at Wal Mart known as Senor Rico and how I thought it was really good. I went on to say if I was shopping with others at Wal Mart, sometimes while waiting for them to finish, I would go to the dairy section and purchase a unit or two of the said rice pudding, then I would go into the Subway (as in the sandwich restaurant that is frequently attached to Wal Mart) and eat the rice pudding. Then my dad asks me, “Did you cross under the river in the subway?” This is where it gets weird, because I had no idea what he meant, and that is indeed weird because I almost always would get a train joke. But I didn’t realize my dad was joking. Now something out if the ordinary will happen because it’s usually me who cracks a train joke, but this time my dad did. I think the reason why I didn’t get it is because that morning, I had been awake since 1 AM, active since 4 AM, went to church and Sunday School, then went to my parents’ house and fried some chicken, which my method requires a good bit of paying attention, effort and labor, but when done, it tastes almost like Colonel Sanders’ Original Recipe. So it’s worth the trouble, especially since I have to drive or get a ride all the way to Kenner to eat at the closest KFC…”

On June 21, 2019, I posted: “My favorite current railroad/railway company is The Kansas City Southern. My favorite fallen flag railroad is Southern Pacific…”

On June 7, 2019, I posted: “I ate pickled quail eggs for the first time just now. They were pretty durn good…”

On June 3, 2019, I posted:
“I think I am going to start wearing my Casio F-91W wristwatch more often because that said model came on the market in 1991 and my Bae (Tracie Brasseaux) was also born in 1991. I definitely like to be reminded of her and every time I think about her a big smile comes to my face, my heart skips a beat and I feel very giddy! I love her more each day God sends!”

AND

“Four years ago I was visiting my Maw Maw and Paw Paw. I had asked my Paw Paw, “What are you cooking?” Without any hesitation he told me, “Musical fruit.” In other words he was cooking white beans. When they were cooked, he gave me some and they were so good! His recipe was so simple, but they tasted so good. My Paw Paw has since passed on, but today, I had white beans again. I didn’t cook them this time. When I cook them, sometimes when they come out they taste like my Paw Paw’s white beans when I get the spices right. When I don’t get the spices right, I need a lot of Jalapeno peppers or spicy mustard to get them edible…”

On May 29, 2019, I posted: “Well the NOAA Weather Radio station in Morgan City, KIH23, is back in service. I’m listening to it while I make this post…”

On May, 24, 2019, I posted: “Would everyone in the Tri Parish area and other areas nearby please contact The National Weather Service and let them know that the Weather Radio Station KIH23 in Morgan City is transmitting dead air, but there are no words being transmitted. The number to call is: 1-888-886-1227 …”

AND

“Well, my peanut allergy has gotten worse. I used to be able to eat peanut products and have only a slight reaction in my throat. Now they are causing me to break out in eczema. i know I’ve said before that I would quit eating them, but this time I think I really mean it. I’m taking this very hard though, because one of my guilty pleasures is to drive to the Coteau Truck Plaza and buy a Hershey’s Mister Good Bar along with a bottle of Starbucks Frappuccino. Then, I sit in the diner portion near the window that faces the truck re-fueling area with my scanner radio tuned not only to the truck drivers, but also to the marine traffic on the nearby GICW, while eating and drinking. I had discovered this awesome combination about five years ago, by the way. I’m thinking of still doing this but eating a candy bar that doesn’t have peanut products in it. Any suggestions?”

AND

“Back in June of 2014, I began writing some love stories which were inspired by my observance of the Post Modern world. The main motive of my heart for writing these was to teach that everyone deserves to love and be loved. My most widely known ones the my “Grocer and Writer” stories, some of which are up on my blog. I feel increasingly guilty for writing these, because the characters in these stories fornicate and cohabitate and they do so as if it were totally normal (one of the results of Post Modern thought and teaching.) While at the time of writing them, I winked at fornication and cohabitation, but now I am sorry for writing them. The only reason why they are still on my blog, is because, they teach other good messages, like for men to love, cherish and revere their partner or spouse and of course that a seemingly unattractive appearance or any disability is NOT necessarily a barrier to finding true love. What do you think? Questions? Comments? Complaints?”

On May 23, 2019, I posted: “I’ve posted this before, but: The best episodes of “The Simpsons” were the ones that were initially aired when Southern Pacific was still in existence. Change my mind!”

On May 21, 2019, I posted: “I have a prayer request: My back is hurting me right now. I had injured it from a fall I sustained in March of 2014 and every now and then, pain will flare up. I had sat for too long writing on my blog and that is what triggered the pain. Please pray that I can live with the pain and God allow me to deal with it because I REFUSE to take pain pills. I don’t even ask my doctors for pain pills because I’ve seen them ruin too many lives…”

On May 20, 2019, I posted: “When I was born there were complications I suffered and I died at least once, but was revived. I was born at what is now Thibodaux Regional Medical Center, but was transported to Ocshner Main Campus in Jefferson via ambulance. What I always wondered is since I was born right after Christmas, maybe someone had received a scanner radio as a gift and was listening to the medical channels and heard about me. In 1987, cell phones were only used by the very privileged business executives, so I doubt any of the communications done on my behalf were exchanged via cell phone. It was likely they were exchanged either on the 155 MHz or the 463/468 MHz radios. What would really be awesome is if someone had a recording of it…”

AND

“I was in Ohio for the past few days, but I’m back home now…”

On May 10, 2019, I posted: “The Radio Shack Realistic Pro-32 handheld scanner was released 32 years ago, give or take a few months. I wonder how many foamers used them? Well Southern Pacific was still in existence 32 years ago!”

AND

“Besides eating snake and riding on an Amtrak train, another item on my bucket list is visiting Golden Spike Tower at the Union Pacific Bailey Yard in North Platte, Nebraska. Of course I would have a scanner radio with me. The scanner I would use would be one of my Uniden portables or I would buy a Whistler WS1010…”

AND

“Today is my Mom’s 64th birthday but it is also the 150th anniversary of the completion of The Transcontinental Railroad. A golden spike was driven where the Union Pacific and the Central Pacific converged on this day in 1869…”

On May 9, 2019, I posted: “This post is borderline political but: I’m CNN used to be credible old!”

On May 8, 2019, I posted: “I just finished snapping three pounds of fresh green beans all by myself. I’m not complaining though and in fact I feel blessed because I bought them on sale at the rate of $1.79 per pound! Hopefully, I will cook at least some of them tomorrow and freeze the rest…”

On May 7, 2019, I posted: “For years I’ve had a recurring dream that I am in Downtown Houma, but there are Interstate Highways and multiple skyscrapers. Sometimes there are even railroads. I had one of those dreams early this morning and it entailed me shopping in a hardware store somewhere on West Main that was selling rare and vintage Maglite flashlights New Old Stock for dirt cheap. I ended up buying a 7D model for under $20, but woke up before completing the transaction..”

On May 5, 2019, I posted: “I’m flipping through the channels and my local NBC affiliate, WDSU, is covering hockey. I don’t care for watching sports, but whenever I see hockey, I think about the Casio G-Shock watches…”

AND

“I celebrate Cinco De Mayo, but for a totally different reason. On May 5, 2005, some fourteen years ago today, I began permanently EDCing a flashlight on my person. There have been very few times since then that I didn’t have a flashlight. I had been fascinated by flashlights since infancy, but there was times I kept quiet about my flashlight interest for fear of harassment. However, by 2005, I didn’t give a flying rat’s behind what people thought of me for liking flashlights. Nowadays, no one harasses me for liking flashlights and those that did when I was a child and preteen are no longer in my life…”

On May 4, 2019, I posted: “My girlfriend is a godly young lady and I continuously see God’s Hand on her protecting her. I am immensely grateful to Him that while a tornadic thunderstorm was directly headed towards her, He intervened and caused that storm not only to lose it’s tornadic characteristics, but also it’s severe characteristics, for her protection. There are many other ways I see God protecting her as well. I am totally convinced that the reason why her and I didn’t know of each other sooner than when we did is because God knew that my sinful choices in the past would have been detrimental to her spiritual growth and and He was protecting her from all of that. God also needed to chastise and correct me first, before He would allow me to be in a relationship with His precious child!”

On May 3, 2019, I posted: “The way a State Trooper or a Railroad Special Agent stops a train in case of an emergency is by taking his or her flashlight holding it at eye level, pointed at the engineer and moving it sideways. The engineer acknowledges by blowing the whistle and then begins applying the brakes…”

AND

“I cannot get over how much a modern Streamlight SL-20, even the LED version resembles an old school Kel Lite! I saw a security guard today carrying one and I initially thought it was indeed a Kel Lite until he showed it to me and I saw the switch and immediately realized it was a modern Streamlight SL-20. I was still so amazed over the stark resemblance between the two flashlights that while I told him that I collect flashlights, I forgot to show him what I was carrying…A few minutes later, I saw him again and showed him my Streamlight Junior flashlight, which I have been EDCing for the past few months…”

On April 21, 2019, I posted: “This post will probably ruffle some feathers, but: Why do some people get irritated or disgusted when significant others refer to each other as, “bae”? Personally I think it is very cute and romantic, although, I will admit that it has Post Modernism written all over it…”

AND

“An entry level portable scanner, the Radio Shack Pro-82 would have been an awesome scanner had it been around in 1982… Its desktop counterpart, the Radio Shack Pro-2018 was mostly obsolete by 2018, though I still use one even in 2019! Both of these scanners were put on the market in 2003 and were sold until about 2008…”

On April 20, 2019, I posted: “I just read that there will be a reboot of “All in the Family” and “The Jefferson’s.” For years, I wanted to write my own version of that which entailed a Desert Storm veteran and WASP who worked as a maintenance electrician in the World Trade Center, but left patrtially crippled after injuries he sustained from the 9-11 attacks. He later has a son who is married to a Pakistani girl and she is studying to be a cardiologist, but they all live under the same roof, allowing much potential for conflict. I did write another, less controversial story about a disabled electrician though…”

AND

“Weed helps some people be creative, such as George Carlin. Whiskey helps other people be creative, such as Ernest Hemingway. Wild Cherry Pepsi helps me be creative! And while I did briefly try a new medication a few weeks ago, also during that time period, I hadn’t drunk any Wild Cherry Pepsi. Yes that medication made me so stable that it possibly took away my creativity, but maybe it was the total lack of Wild Cherry Pepsi…”

On April 19, 2019, I posted: “I know that I give lots of weather related posts, but I have VERY little skills in meteorology, in fact I am terribly deficient in Algebra, especially Linear Algebra, which is definitely needed for any kind of weather prediction and/or analysis. I just simply keep a Weather Radio nearby and also EDC a pocket sized model, then forward what it tells me to social media, mostly as a hobby but also, I realize this information I forward may help save someone’s life…Just about anyone could do what I do, all he or she would really need is a decent weather radio, a smartphone and a decent data plan…”

On April 18, 2019, I posted: “I wish there would be a way to marry the longer transmission range and better signal strength of analog broadcast television with the picture clarity and extra channel capacity of digital broadcast television…I might write about this on my blog in the upcoming days so stay tuned…”

On April 15, 2019, I posted: “I see enough WayFair commercials when I am near a television that is hooked up to cable, but just now for the first time I saw a WayFair commercial on broadcast television, namely The Decades Channel…”

On April 12, 2019, I posted: “When you eat white beans, you load your gun!”

On April 10, 2019, I posted: “About my last post, a week ago I had ordered a watch, which was located in Houston and it was shipped via Fed Ex Smart Post. It took a week to come in…Now that slow speed would be acceptable if I ordered a clock the size of Big Ben in London and it would have been shipped on a barge via the Houston Ship Channel and the Gulf Intracoastal Waterway to Houma but not a watch which maybe weighs a few ounces. I said it before and I’ll say it again: ‘I cringe whenever I order something and the seller or merchant ships it via FedEx.'”

AND

“Unless the item is collosal and being shipped via the Houston Ship Channel and the Gulf Intracoastal Waterway, it should take much less than a whole week to be shipped from Houston to Houma…How come Fed Ex takes so long and goes through all kinds of unnecessary routes?…”

On April 9, 2019, I posted: “I think I feel well enough to make dinner. This evening I will be having Southern Fried pork chops, green beans and sliced pickled beets on the side. Y’all pray that it comes out right and that I continue to get better…”

On April 8, 2019, I posted: “…Prayer Warriors and fellow believers in Christ, please pray for me. I’ve been sick for about two weeks. Initially I thought I was suffering from Stevens Johnson Syndrome and so did at least one of my doctor’s, but now they have come to the conclusion that I have some sort of virus, which is/was mimicking the symptoms of SJS. (Like the bump on my forehead.) Concurrently, I had tried a new medication, which furthered mine and my doctor’s assumption that I had SJS. I know this virus needs to run its course, but I am absolutely miserable as a result. I wasn’t at Church or Sunday School this past Sunday because of my brother’s wedding and I wasn’t at Bible Study this evening because I was told today by my doctor that I am potentially contagious…”

On April 7, 2019, I posted: “I’m just realizing we have been anticipating Severe Weather all day, yet I didn’t EDC my pocket sized Weather Radio (Midland HH50B.) What is most unusual about me not having this item with me is that my brother got married today and the ceremony was held outdoors! That is definitely not like me, but in my defense, I’m still not feeling 100% healthwise, so to all my fellow believers in Christ please pray for me. I see my doctor tomorrow. Also in my defense, I had two very good weather apps on my phone and was showing RADAR images to family members. Anyway, as we were leaving I shook my brother’s hand and the advice I gave him was “take care of yourself and each other.” He replied, jokingly, to “spay and neuter the pets.” Both of those phrases are references to daytime television shows, but still very good advice…”

On April 4, 2019, I posted: “Well, I’ve learned tonight that I can still get Midland Weather Center and have since installed it on both my phone and tablet! I’ve learned that just because it isn’t listed on Google Play, there are other ways to download and install it!”

AND

Speaking of the Weather, my favorite Weather app is no longer available and hasn’t been for some time. I’m still ticked off about this. The app in question is Midland Weather Center. I bought a pocket sized Midland Weather Radio in June of 2015 and when opening up the package, I discovered a leaflet describing a weather app. I bought my first Android device a month prior to that, an LG Optimus Fuel smartphone, so I happily downloaded it. Even though I wasn’t a premium subscriber, Is thoroughly enjoyed using that app. No other weather apps have measured up to it, in my opinion. Currently, I am using the Fox 8 (WVUE) weather app, because that is the one my Bae uses on her phone and she seems to like it. I must admit I like it too, but I miss the Midland Weather Center. I still stand by my position that a dedicated Weather Radio should not be totally supplanted by all these apps, as a means of getting emergency weather data because they will still work when the WiFi and cellular data service are out. I keep a weather radio in my EDC backpack and two on standby in my apartment…

On March 29, 2019, I posted: “Once again, I am a cord cutter. However, I’ve been a cord cutter on and off since 2003, long before it was cool!”

On March 28, 2019, I posted: “I made my own version of Ghetto Punch yesterday and it came out pretty good: I took a gallon of tap water, some Always Saved Iced Tea Mix with Lemon Flavor and a packet of Blue Raspberry Lemonade Kool-Aid and mixed them all together then I have been chilling it in my refrigerator…”

On March 19, 2019, I posted: “I know in my younger days, I would have been adamantly opposed to buying Chinese made products whenever possible. But now I will say that certain Chinese made flashlights such as Lumintop and Nite Core just about rival their American, Israeli, German and French made counterparts. I know America makes the best flashlights, hands down, ie SureFire and while I’ve never handled a German made flashlight, I can safely assume that because of their high price point, very decent specs and the overall superior quality of German engineering that it would be something wonderful. The French make excellent flashlights for diving and I had the opportunity to purchase one last May, but couldn’t take it with me on a plane, because of its length. Israel used to make some really good aviation flashlights that were issued to pilots in the IAF, they still make a few tactical models for mounting on firearms…”

AND

“For breakfast, I had half a dozen fried eggs, white bread with strawberry jam and I drank a pot of doughnut shop blend coffee, that I bought at The Ruble, I mean The Dollar General. Unfortunately, I am still feeling somewhat under the weather, so I won’t be able to fix any fog lights. In my defense, the package of eighteen eggs had only six left and I usually eat four at a time, but I decided to cook and eat all six instead of putting a package with only two eggs back in the refrigerator”

On March 14, 2019, I posted: “The siren on my Weather Radio that I currently EDC sounds like it is saying, “Gaaaaaaawwwwww” or “Caaaaaaawwwwww!”. You know, it’s the sound some people make when they are humorously astounded by a certain fact…”

AND

“If you purchase luggage and then return it to the store after one use, that isn’t exactly honest, but at least don’t leave a the tag with your name and address on it. I was able to get a piece of Swiss luggage at a significant discount today, it was otherwise brand new but it had the original owner’s information written on a card. I destroyed that card promptly for the sake of that person’s safety and credit…”

On March 9, 2019, I posted: “Could one take Percosets as a pain reliever if he or she burned him/herself on a hot percolator?”

On March 5, 2019, I posted, “What if, when someone sneezes, he or she says, “Android” instead of “Achoo”? By the way, I made this post is from an Android device…”

On March 4, 2019, I posted, “I know it’s Mardi Gras, but the only float I want to see involves Ice Cream and Root Beer!… Now just about everyone in my immediate family and my closest friends know exactly who I am trying to imitate, God rest his soul!”

On January 26, 2019, I posted: “This will probably be one of my last posts before going on a social media fast, so here goes: There is a radio station in Portland, Maine with the call-sign WBAE. What is even more interesting is that the said station plays Adult Contemporary music. I really think that WBAE should play strictly love songs, which mostly are of the AC genre anyway, especially since it is located up in Maine where it’s very cold (good for cuddling.) That way, they could adopt the a slogan along the lines of, “Tune into BAE while cuddling with bae!””

On January 22, 2019, I posted: “I’ve been wanting to know for years now, What type of flashlights were carried by the Israeli Commandos during Operation Thunderbolt AKA Operation Entebbe? I’d like to know both their lights that were mounted on the firearms and the personal flashlights. By the way this was 1976, so Maglite and SureFire didn’t exist yet…”

On January 21, 2019, I posted: (In reference to a Uniden True I/Q Digital Scanner) “Finally, a scanner that actually decodes NEXEDGE! I just wish it didn’t cost so durn much. For years, I felt the depression that many Saints fans are currently experiencing when I had found out that the railroads were upgrading their communications and there was no scanner that could intercept them, but now there is! That is actually the reason why I started listening to marine traffic back in 2015. However the price is equally depressing at ~$700. I’m just glad that the railroads in my area are still in the clear”

AND

“I’m late posting this, but I was watching MacGyver last Friday night and he was called a “human G.P.S.” I was amused by that, especially since people have been calling me also a “human G.P.S.” since about 2001!”

On January 18, 2019, I posted: “A year ago at this very hour, I was sobering up after a night of heavy drinking. The reason I was drinking so heavily was because I had finally realized that my marriage wasn’t worth saving and I needed to prepare myself to leave the woman who would become my ex wife. I drank mostly because I had to prepare myself for a divorce and all the potential drama associated with it. A day later I moved in with a friend until I was able to secure my own apartment, which I got on May 1, 2018. Between a year ago and now I did a lot of growing up and soul searching. The divorce was granted on October 11, 2018. Praise God that it was a totally clean break and that my ex and I went our separate ways with minimal drama! There is a happy ending to this though and it is no secret I have since found a young lady whom I love and revere tremendously (Tracie Brasseaux) and she reciprocates those feelings towards me. I am totally attracted to her, both physically and emotionally! Not only that, she treats me better than I ever dared dream! There’s more though-she reminds me of the good female characters in the stories I write and she actually enjoys my writing! The other happy ending is that I haven’t really touched any alcoholic beverages since about June of 2018!”

On January 8, 2019, I posted: “Today was a pretty durn good day. Aside from making some good groceries, I went to Good Will and scored a gently used TI-84 Plus Graphing Calculator for only $3.28 after tax!”

AND

“Please don’t consider me a snob because I am picky about which coffee I drink. I am very down to earth, but I only like certain types of coffee. Starbucks tastes great, but I resent the way that company is ugly to our service men and women. I do NOT like Community Coffee at all even though many people around me do, I will drink it in a pinch though. I can tolerate Folger’s, but its not my favorite. Rouse’s is much better than Folger’s, in my book. I would like to try Dunkin one day, but it is so durn expensive. I wish I could have tried Golden Key, but that company is no longer in operation. Monster tastes great and will give me the ability to get a lot done, but it also makes me a little too jittery. My absolute favorite is Cafe` Du Monde AKA CDM, which technically is a blend of coffee and chicory. My Mom is from the New Orleans area and drank it all her life and I’ve been drinking it since the age of two, which is about thirty years. I like it brewed strong, then pour it halfway into my cup then fill the other half of my cup with milk. I used to add sugar, up until about a year ago, now I can appreciate the full flavor of the coffee milk without sugar. My other favorite coffee is McDonalds McCafe`. By the way, coffee beans are mostly grown in Africa, the Middle East and South America, so they are imported into the United States and the bulk of the coffee beans imported into the United States comes in through the Port of New Orleans…”

On January 7, 2019, I posted: “As per my New Years Resolution to learn the French language, today I downloaded Babel and took a few lessons. I’m surprised at all the French words I already knew just didn’t realize I knew. Hopefully within a year’s time, I will be bilingual!”

On January 2, 2019, I posted: “Thank you to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday! I spent most of it with my Bae (Tracie Brasseaux) and I truly cherish every single moment with her! Then I unfortunately had to go run errands. Today I make 32 and to me it is just a number. However, most people have reactions of shock and disbelief when I tell them my age, as they assume I am considerably younger. This has been going on since my late twenties, when all the people I met were mistaking me for a high school student. I know for one thing, my excess weight gives me a baby face and hides my facial bones, and I have yet to lose any of my hair (or when I did due to either heavy drinking or taking certain medications, it always grew completely back when I no longer drank so much or stopped taking those medications) but also I never really smoked nor did I ever do any recreational drugs. I think the main reason why I look younger than my true age is that I never fathered or raised any children. Other than that, I only intentionally do two things to make me look younger and they are that I frequently rub hair conditioner on my face to nourish my skin and I regularly shave, because Lord knows I don’t look right with a beard…”

On December 31, 2018, I posted: “Well, today is the last day of 2018, a year that had seen many drastic changes in my life, and also was a year that started off very wrong but ended up very right! It was a year with the final breakdown and termination of a miserable marriage that I honestly preserved as long as I did only to try and honor God, then several dating relationships that usually ended in ghosting or other forms of heartache and then finally finding a wonderful and beautiful young lady, my Bae (Tracie Brasseaux) whom I love and revere immensely and yes she does remind me of the good female characters I’ve created in my stories! Though I had experienced many setbacks early on, I was able to live out my New Years Resolution to stop using bad language, at least for the most part. I don’t cuss in front of ladies, especially my Bae, I certainly don’t cuss in church, I rarely cuss when I am by myself, it seems the only time I cuss is when I am around worldly men, I just seem to slip up then. Also 2018 was the year that I had pretty much quit drinking which is a stark comparison to 2017 where I had drank so much that I began to lose my hair. For 2019, not only do I want to keep cleaning up my language, but I also would like to learn a new language, namely French, since that I what I am mostly composed of genetically. Also for 2019, I want to spend it totally committed to my Bae and loving her more and more as the days go by!”

On December 29, 2018, I posted: “Some of you may be wondering why I talk about fixing fog lights and being able to do so after eating a good breakfast. Well, now I will explain it: It dates back to December of 1989 when I was two going on three. My Paw Paw drove a really cool truck, a 1972 Dodge D100 Custom. I used to love to play with the fog lights on that truck. I was also a very picky eater at the time and believe it or not I was underweight instead of overweight like I am now. My grandparents were watching me one morning in December of 1989 because my mom was in the hospital due to complications to her pregnancy with my brother and sister and my dad was with my mom in the hospital. My Maw Maw was urging me to eat breakfast so one day I could be strong enough to fix fog lights. In later years that truck was stored in my Paw Paw’s barn and several times, rats chewed the wires and caused damage its electrical system…I was a picky eater until the age of nineteen, now there are very few foods I refuse to eat.”

AND

“For breakfast I had two fried eggs sunny side up, bananas and cream oatmeal, and a piece of wheat bread. I washed it all down with 2% milk…I know that’s not as hefty a breakfast as I usually have, but it should still hold me up so I can be strong enough to fix fog lights…”

On December 28, 2018, I posted:
“I think the Mini Maglite LED and Gerber US1 combo pack was the most popular gift of Christmas 2018 to all who are into EDC. In fact, I was given a Wal Mart gift card so I was able to get one for myself…”

On December 26, 2018, I posted: “Okay, the GPS chip that many swear is planted in my brain is processing something right now: What if LA Highway 182 from its eastern terminus with US Highway 90 at Raceland Junction, Louisiana all the way to its junction with the western terminus of LA Highway 20 and subsequent interchange with US Highway 90 at Gibson, Louisiana would also be signed as a US Highway 90 Business Route. I mean aren’t most business routes of highways actually just their former alignments, but also happen to go through the business areas of towns? Between Lafayette, LA and Raceland Junction, LA, Highway 182 is Highway 90’s former route…Fun fact, between Lafayette, LA and Opelousas, LA Highway 182 is Highway 167’s former alignment…”

On December 23, 2018, I posted: “I’m sure most if not all of you have heard the phrase, “crystal clear.” However, I am wondering if that meaning is from a reference to electronics. Before phase lock loop synthesizers were used as oscillator circuits in broadcast and communications technology, Quartz crystals were used as a means to tune these devices precisely to the correct frequency or channel, which allowed the content of the conversation or broadcast to be transmitted and received intelligibly. So, I wonder if that is where the meaning “crystal clear” was derived? Before the the advent of integrated circuits which allowed synthesizers, crystals were commonly installed on mid range and higher-end televisions, the very first scanners, wireless microphones, almost all two way radios, pagers/beepers, radio clocks and some weather radios…”

On December 21, 2018, I posted: “I had a durn good breakfast this morning: three fried eggs sunny side up, toast bread with Smucker’s Red Raspberry Jam and I washed it down with V8 vegetable juice…Now I can be strong enough to fix fog lights!”

On December 17, 2018, in the early morning hours, I posted:
“I have yet to publically refer to my car as what I named it, but if anyone sees me use the name “Thaddeus” on social media or my, that’s what I named my car, which I have owned since this past July…My family has a tradition of naming their cars, by the way…For example my mom’s Japanese Compact Utility Vehicle is named “Suki.””

AND

“I’d be lying if I was to say I was up to date on Amtrak’s schedule. However, I saw the eastbound Sunset Limited on the western outskirts of Schriever, Louisiana. It was dark and the luminescent numbers and increments on my watch were glowing bright enough for me to check the time, but, I checked the clock on my car (which I syncrnize with my watch and I synchronize my watch with the Atomic Clock) and it indicated 8:49 PM. I’ll download an Amtrak timetable or better yet the Amtrak app on my phone and tablet as soon as I am done my computer research. Looks like I am pulling an all nighter…”

On December 14, 2018, I posted: “Red lights are definitely annoying when driving…However, I’ve learned there is a perk about red lights is that you can safely give bae a kiss while stopped at a red light!”

On December 9, 2018, I posted: “I don’t exactly live in the city. I am not going to grow a beard, although I do need to shave. However I sometimes wear a news boy hat. And I prefer to use an incandescent flashlight over an LED flashlight, so that means I prefer some obsolete technology. I do write a lot but primarily with a computer and certainly not a typewriter, however I do EDC pens and a composition book. There is a boom box next to my bed, but it lacks a cassette deck. I am a Millenial. I do like to drink coffee, but technically it’s a blend of coffee and chickory with milk. My girlfriend and I do refer to each other as “bae.” So in light of this evidence I’ve come to the conclusion that I am somewhat of a hipster, or at least I show some traits of a hipster but not a full blown hipster…”

On December 3, 2018, I posted: “I definitely feel naked without a flashlight, but I’m beginning to also feel naked without my Leatherman. I had changed my pants last night and left it clipped to the belt loop of my other pair of pants…”

On December 2, 2018, I posted: “Did anyone catch “The Simpsons” this evening? Was it even shown? The reason why I am wondering is that I want to know if there were any references to the late President Bush…He was frequently mocked on that said show, but in all fairness, he brought it upon himself when he spoke of how he wanted American families “to be more like The Waltons and less like The Simpsons”…In a nutshell, “The Simpsons” is nothing more than a satire of Post Modern [American] Society and we are all to blame for the ill repercussions that Post Modernism has caused…Many stories (especially my “Grocer and Writer” series) that I have written are inspired by nothing more than the results of Post Modernism’s effects on society…For the record, I quit watching “The Simpsons” years ago, because it so accurately portrays the reaping of what was sowed by Post Modernism and it is quite depressing to be reminded constantly of how society has fallen so far from grace and is going to hell in a handbasket…”

On December 1, 2018, I posted: “I bet one of those custom made “A Thousand Points of Light” Mini Maglites that were given out during the 1989 presidential inauguration have appreciated that much more in value now that President Bush as passed away…”

On November 28, 2018, I posted:
“The Weather Radio writers sure like the phrase “good working order.””

AND

“I thought for a bit that my Leatherman was not only forgotten but also misplaced, but, praise God, I found it!”

AND (EARLIER THAT AFTERNOON):

“Durn it, I forgot my Leatherman!”

On November 25, 2018, I posted: “Up until a few years ago Target used to be an excellent store for selling EDC items, especially during my teen and very early twenties years. I actually saw a true Swiss Army Knife in real life for the first time in a Target on Black Friday, November 29, 2002. In those days, Target had a wider selection of Swiss Army Knives and they came bundled with cool accesories. Target also had a wider selection of flashlights and good flashlights at that. Well, at least they still sell pretty good Swiss backpacks. I plan to write a piece further elaborating about this on my blog so stay tuned…”

On November 24, 2018, I posted:
“At many of my family get-togethers, over the years if I was carrying one on me, I would take a knife with an assisted opening mechanism and deploy it. My Paw Paw, God rest his soul, would always comment that switchblades are illegal and how I shouldn’t have that. I would always have to explain to him that it isn’t a switchblade and is perfectly legal. This past Thanksgiving, I wasn’t able to have that conversation with him, nor did I even have a tactical knife on me, but I did have a Swiss Army Knife and a flashlight or two on me. He too liked flashlights, but not as much as me and he particularly liked those budget friendly 6 Volt Lanterns. Actually a little over a month before he passed, he sold his car to me and, I keep a vintage Eveready Commander lantern just like the one he is showing me in my cover photo on the floorboard of my car to honor and remember him in my own weird way…”

AND

“I haven’t had one in a while but I have a recurring dream about a railroad line running along the 40 Arpent Canal in Raceland. I always enjoy that dream when I have it…”

On November 23, 2018, I posted: “I’m I Raceland right now and something awesome happened a few minutes ago: The DJ on Magic 101.9 said, “As you shop the malls we are decking the halls!” Then he played the Manheim Steamroller version of “Deck the Halls.” At the same time, my scanner picked up a brake line pressure telemetry transmission from a train passing through Raceland!”

On November 16, 2018, I posted: “For the second night in a row, I get to have spaghetti with my favorite sauce, the Ragu` Chunky Garden Combination! For just under $3, I got a jar of that said sauce and a pound of spaghetti noodles at my local Dollar General. Notice I didn’t call it the Ruble General this time, because tonight’s shopping experience on par with that of a Western country and not the Soviet Bloc…For the record I shop at the Dollar General almost every day and the one nearest my residence is like shopping in a Western country, but others, are like what I’ve read shopping in the former Soviet Union was like…”

On November 15, 2018, I posted: “Baroni`a Number 7 Spaghetti with Ragu` Chunky Garden Combination Sauce (my favorite spaghetti sauce.) That’s what’s for dinner!”

On November 14, 2018, I posted: “WARNING This post is borderline politically charged, but here goes: I wonder if there were any sword control laws in bygone societies say Ancient Rome or Ancient Greece? I wonder if there were any places designated as weapon free zones back then too? Just wondering…”

On November 13, 2018, I posted: “My parents are not and were not DXers by any stretch of the imagination. However, they told me that when they were in their teens and twenties, they used to try and catch the radio station KAAY out of Little Rock, Arkansas, on their transistor radios so they could hear the underground rock music it played. At some point that station became a Christian station and actually the most powerful Christian radio station in the country. Last night I was flipping through the AM channels on my car radio and caught it. Southern Gospel was playing, which is my favorite genre of Christian music. Immediately, I saved it on m presets. There are no radio stations in my immediate area that play Southern Gospel, but after sunset, I can tune KAAY in very well, except when driving by transformers and other electrical infrastructure. The dial position is 1090 on the AM band if anyone else wants to listen. NOTE the only way one might be able to hear it in this part of Louisiana during the day is with a very high quality AM radio, such as one of the C. Crane CC Radios or a General Electric Super Radio and maybe not but after dark just about any AM radio between the Rockies and Appalachians should be able to pick it up because AM signals travel further at night than during the day…”

On November 8, 2018, I posted: “Does anyone else remember around the Summer of 1997, when pitas were being served at Wendy’s? I was ten years old at the time, and always wanted the Garden Ranch Chicken pita, but couldn’t get a ride to Wendy’s, because the closest one was about 15 miles away…”

On November 6, 2018, I posted: “How old am I? Christmas/Evergreen Trees on Energizer Batteries old…”

On November 5, 2018, I posted:
“I was making groceries today and among the items I had purchased was a bottle of Ketchup/Catsup. In my haste, I purchased the Sodium Free version of the said condiment. I really was in a hurry, because I usually take my time and pay painstaking attention when making groceries, but I was tired and had a lot to do today Just now I was eating some French Fries to take my medication and I dipped one of them in that recently purchased Ketchup/Catsup. Talk about awful! I think I am going to mix some Mayonaise with it in order to salvage this late meal…Let me just say that I am thankful my blood pressure is well under control with just medication and that I don’t have to eliminate all salt from my diet. But I don’t cook with salt either…”

AND

“The age difference of my two favorite super-couples on As the World Turns was four years, namely Jack Snyder and Carly Tenney Snyder as well as Holden Snyder and Lilly Walsh Snyder…On The Young and the Restless, there are a bunch of May-September couples, such as Victor Newman and Nikki Reed Newman, but also when Jack Abbot was in a relationship with Phyllis Summers and when Hillary Curtis was married to Neil Winters and Cain Ashby married to Lilly Winters and even Paul Williams and Christine Blair…”

AND

“I renewed my driver’s license at the DMV and it cost me $32.25…The worst part of the whole ordeal was the long wait and then the temporary equipment failure, come on Louisiana, y’all can do better than this, but thank God I don’t have to do this again for six years!”

On November 1, 2018, I posted: “I have four closets in my apartment and one of them makes an ideal tornado shelter!”

On October 29, 2018, I posted:
“Does anyone else find a similarity between “Daddy Sang Bass” by Johnny Cash and “Fat Bottom Girls” by Queen?”

AND

“For the past few days, my mobile data has been throttled once again. When I am not in range of usable WiFi, I am forced to connect at speeds appropriate only for using a Bulletin Board System…That can be quite frustrating when I want to look at sites like Facebook or YouTube. Unfortunately, there is no more Temple of the Screaming Electron…”

On October 21, 2018, I posted: “I’ve been knowing about tactical flashlights for years…How about someone start making “strategic” flashlights too, which could be tactical flashlights on steroids!”

On October 16, 2018, I posted: “…For anyone who needs or wants to everyday carry, SwissGear is an excellent brand which I have been using since 2006! I find SwissGear which is a Wenger brand to be superior, yet more affordable than its former competitor, now parent Victorinox!”

On October 15, 2018, I posted: “I was thinking of writing my own story about appliances that are secretly alive but their owners don’t know. Yes my idea was from The Brave Little Toaster and their owner is a young man in his late teens or early twenties. Some of his appliances I already thought of are: A scanner radio, which has the personality of a paranoid conspiracy theorist AND A Weather Radio which has the personality of a sheep (as in a person who trusts those in authority no matter what.) There could then be a laptop with an encyclopedic knowledge but definitely on the Autism Spectrum. I would also have to create a high end calculator character, that has an admiration for all of the Renaissance scientists and constantly references them. Finally he could have an MP3 player which has the attitude of a female R&B singer and she keeps the rest of the group in line. There’s tons of potential for this, especially in terms of conflict, or at least in my mind…The owner could get a smartphone which he carries everywhere and makes all of his other gadgets obsolete”

On October 14, 2018, I posted:
“The TI-34 scientific calculator was introduced in 1987 and the earlier versions of this calculator almost rivaled the features TI-35/TI-36. However, in 1999, the TI-34II was released and many features were removed. Its subsequent releases, such as the TI-34 MultiView in 2008, has fewer features than even a standard TI-30. The modern TI-30 is designed for high schoolers (and pretty much always was) whereas the modern TI-34 is designed for middle schoolers, but was previous designed for high school (and even college students.)”

AND

“Flashlights are to me what pacifiers are to Maggie Simpson…”

On October 12, 2018, I posted: “What if Voice of the Wetlands was in addition to a festival, also a shortwave (worldwide) broadcasting station that played Cajun music but also had a news service from a Cajun perspective? Another radio program could teach its listeners how to speak Cajun French…”

On October 11, 2018, I posted:
“One more Sears post, hopefully this is the final: Because of President Trump’s trade policies, what if Craftsman Wrenches and possibly other Craftsman tools will once again be American made?”

AND

“And one more thing about Sears: My Craftsman tool satchel came to life and shouted, “I am starving; bring me a Craftsman Wrench Set to eat!” In all seriousness, I’ve been wanting a Craftsman Wrench set for about two years now, but I can never justify the cost.””

AND

“Speaking of Target and Sears, I went browse around at Southland Mall earlier this evening and I cannot help but wonder, how much longer will it be open? All my favorite stores there are gone with the exception of Dillard’s. Both Sears and Sears Hardware are gone, Radio Shack is gone, a scientific toy store that was there in my late childhood is long gone, Rite Aid (formerly K&B) is gone, Woolworth’s is gone, JC Penney is still there, but doesn’t have the selection that it once had and out of all the stores that are still there I don’t think a single one sells any decent flashlights, if any at all…All I can say is Thank God for eBay, where I can get almost anything I want, both current and vintage!”

AND

“[The Brave Little Toaster was] My favorite movie as a child and still one of my favorite movies! I always think of it when shopping in the appliance section at Target and/or Sears…”

On October 8, 2018, I posted: “I first heard the “Baby Shark” song back in 2003 when I was in high school…We used to sing it at Key Club events, does anyone else remember that?”

On October 6, 2018, I posted:
“I finally have my own weather instruments, which I placed the receiver on my night stand. This device has a hydrometer (measures relative humidity), indoor and outdoor thermometers (measure temperature) and my personal favorite, a barometer (measures air pressure and can detect frontal boundaries as well as approaching storms.) It also has a clock with calendar and moon phases. Also on my night table is my Weather Radio, Boom Box, Atomic Clock receiver and flashlight in the background…”

AND

“Cherry Kool Aid is so durn good! That is all…”

On October 4, 2018, I posted:
“In honor of today being 10-4 and CB Radio Day, I have something to say: 73’s On top of the trees! Bend those knees in the breeze!”

AND

“I’ve gotten back into listening to world band radio, but the overwhelming majority of what I can receive due to my geographic location is all in Spanish…”

On September 28, 2018, I posted:
“Both Android and Ubuntu are Linux based operating systems. I sincerely wish the the latter was as popular as the former. I’ve known for some time that Android’s releases are almost all code named after desserts. I’m just now realizing that all of Ubuntu’s releases are code named after wildlife…”

AND

“I’m happy report that the NOAA Weather Radio station out of Morgan City, Louisiana, KIH23, is finally back on the air. I discovered this by accident. I wanted to set as many alarms as possible to wake me up tomorrow morning and was going to use the alarm feature on my bedside Weather Radio, a Midland WR-120EZ, but I accidentally pressed the Weather/Snooze button and the broadcast came in on there. I was thrilled. In fact I was so thrilled that I tried tuning it in on my other Weather Radios, but had limited success. The station is back on the air but I question if it is back on at full strength or if there is a reduction in power or antenna efficiency at the transmitter, which is located just South of Amelia, Louisiana…”

On September 26, 2018, I posted: “Why is it that Newsy is free on a Roku Box but costs extra on Charter Spectrum, yet CNN, Fox News and MSNBC all come with the most basic packages. From my experience, Newsy isn’t biased one way or the other and more press organizations need to be like that…”

On September 20, 2018, I posted:
“If you have a low spec device and it is so slow that it takes forever to run the simplest of apps, those around may say that your device, for lack of a better word “sucks.” Maybe then it would make a decent vacuum cleaner since it sucks so much…”

AND

“I think all Bayou Blue residents and anyone who regularly commutes between Raceland and Houma on the Old Highway 90 (now Highway 182), should write to the State of Louisiana about the traffic light at the junction of Highway 182 and Bayou Blue Road (AKA Highway 316.) What needs to be said in this written message is how instead of timing the traffic lights, install traffic density sensors and use them to control the traffic lights instead. Many times, there is a green light but no traffic is passing through it, while the other portions of the junction have red lights and traffic is backed up unnecessarily. I see it every day while driving through that said intersection. Installing traffic density sensors would totally solve this problem and also have a positive economic impact on our area in so many ways…”

On September 18, 2018, I posted:
“I know earlier today I posted how I wondered what Lech Walesa’s work tools were like when he was a shipyard electrician…Shortly after making that post I did a slight bit of research trying to find out what Soviet era flashlights were like. After doing this research, I can say with total confidence that I certainly would not want to use them for work or even pleasure and Lord help me if I would have needed one during any emergency. If I was to buy one it would strictly be for collector’s purposes and stay on a shelf or in a box. Even if they were built well, I do not like their form factor. High quality, rugged and especially tactical flashlights are originally an American invention and idea, although the Chinese also make some pretty decent tactical flashlights when they want to. The French and Germans also make some decent flashlights, but theirs unfortunately aren’t available in America…”

AND

“I finally found out where WGUO’s AKA Gumbo 94.9’s transmitter tower is located and let me say that this finding surely explains a whole lot why that station’s signal bleeds all over my FM dial when I am in the neighborhood I grew up in. The weird part is that I didn’t have that issue as a teenager or twenty-something because in my early teens it was a rock station and in my later teens until I was twenty-five-going-on-twenty-six it was a Gospel station and it didn’t bleed all over the dial as it does now…”

AND

“This is something I’ve been wondering for a while now: What kind of tools did Lech Walesa everyday carry when he was a shipyard electrician in Gdansk, Poland? What were they like mostly in terms of durability and reliability? I’m particularly interested in his flashlight, coping knife, pliers and screwdrivers…”

On September 17, 2018, I posted:

“Happy 27th Birthday to the Linux family of operating systems! The computing world is a better place since you came into it…”

AND

“At the urging of my Maw Maw and both of my parent’s, I’ve decided to quit eating peanuts and all peanut products, because of a potential allergy, albeit very slight as of now. I think the time that I will take this hardest is around Christmas when Planter’s start a selling their Winter Spice Nuts and all the other specialty mixed nuts they sell only around Christmas time…At least my mom will still make those spiced oatmeal cookies that she makes really well…”

On September 16, 2018, I posted: “I’m in the mood to quote The Bible tonight and the verse I am going to quote is Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.” Over the past three days, God helped me complete a task that I was starting to believe was insurmountable, but praise Him, I was finally successful by His help!”

On September 15, 2018, I posted: “I have a very slight peanut allergy, but I am still able to eat peanuts and peanut products. The only issue is that sometimes, not every time, after eating them, my throat has a nasty itch and I frequently cough. This morning for breakfast, I ate a peanut butter sandwich on white bread and drank two cups of a coffee and chickory blend. Now my throat itches and every now and then, I cough violently. I’ve eaten and enjoyed peanuts and peanut products since infancy, but since my teen years, I’ve developed my slight allergy to them, but it is so slight that no medical attention has ever been needed, just irritation of the throat…”

On September 6, 2018, I posted:
“A memory of my childhood resurfaced this evening while at church. I was about two years old and my cousin Ryan Scott was either eleven or twelve. We were sitting with our Paw Paw on the backyard swing and he was singing the hymn “Swing Low Sweet Chariot” to us as a plane was flying over us. That neighborhood was and still is under a flight route…”

On September 5, 2018, I posted:
“Rest in Peace Paw Paw. Besides Jesus, I had idolized you and wanted to be like you. You always took care of your family and spoiled all of us, right to the very end. You had the most awesome sense of humor and could make me laugh even in my worst of depression. I miss you terribly, but will remember all of your jokes and all the cool things you taught me over the years. You are the reason why I like flashlights so much, as my cover photo indicates. I hope to see you again, love Eric John!”

On September 3, 2018, I posted:
“I’m actually voluntarily watching cable television. Granted, it’s The Weather Channel and I’m not subscribing to cable but rather watching it at my grandparents’ house…I know I frequently rant and rave about the lack of original programming on cable and I still cannot justify the cost of subscribing to it myself, but The Weather Channel is decent and helpful, especially when there is no Weather Radio broadcast available…”

On September 2, 2018, I posted:
“I just found out that Matchbox, since about 2016, has made die cast diesel-electric locomotives. The 2016 Heavy Railer has coloring similar to Kansas City Southern’s “Southern Belle” scheme. The 2017 Heavy Railer has coloring similar to CSX’s “Bright Future” scheme. My foamer friends who know me well enough know that I like to foam the KCS, though usually only by scanner. But since I like to collect Matchbox cars, I will try to acquire the 2016 Heavy Railer, because of its similarity to a KCS Southern Belle locomotive…”

AND

“Delaware is the first state admitted to the Union. Hawaii is the latest state admitted to the Union. Both states have punch soft drinks named after them. If Puerto Rico ever becomes a state, it probably would have a punch drink named after it, but it would not be a soft drink. It would definitely be a hard drink, due to it containing a significant amount of rum…”

On August 29, 2018, I posted:
“All modern FM broadcast band receivers with a rotary or slide rule tuner should have an Automatic Frequency Control circuit installed. Out in Raceland WGUO aka Gumbo 94.9’s signal bleeds all over the dial on my Sony ICF-P26. In Bayou Blue, K-Love’s signal, on 106.3, bleeds all over my dial on the same radio and others. It is durn near impossible to get NPR unless I have a radio with a phase lock looped tuner, so I am using my Maw Maw’s Sony CFD-S05 boom box to hear NPR…”

On August 28, 2018, I posted:
“The Weather Radio station KIH23 in Morgan City is still off the air as of earlier today. There might have been a tornado in the Houma area today, but I had no way of knowing, because I was asleep and there was no weather broadcast to alert me…”

On August, 27, 2018, I posted:
“What might have been a viral respiratory infection about a week ago (I honestly thought it was bacterial), had weakened my immune system enough to allow Streptococcal pharyngitis, also more commonly known as strep throat, to set in. The good news is that I was given oral antibiotics to treat it, so I will be taking two pills a day for the next ten days. Everyone pray for me!”

On August 26, 2018, I posted:
“I’ve got an appointment with my family doctor tomorrow afternoon. I probably have some sort of respiratory infection, which I get every now and then, but now I will be able to get it treated…”

On August 25, 2018, I posted:
“I was in Arkansas for the past two days, but I’m back home now. That said state has some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Everyone I came across over there was polite and friendly. Unfortunately, I am coming down with something and feel under the weather. It started last night with painful muscle and joint aches, a sore throat and chills. If I had to guesss, I probably have a respratory infection of some kind. I know I am not feeling well, because my urge to drink soft drinks is basically non existent, when usually I cannot go more than a few hours without a soft drink and feel any comfort or ease. For breakfast this morning, I had to force myself to drink orange juice, something which I would usually drink an over abundance of. I will try to see my doctor if these symptoms don’t go away by Monday. To my church family, if I am not in church tomorrow, it is because I am feeling under the weather and I’m not sure if what I have is catching…”

On August 23, 2018, I posted:
“There was this calculator that I had purchased at Wal Mart in June or so of 2007 and edced it for a while thereafter. It was a very basic calculator, nothing fancy at all. I’m almost sure the brand name was LeWorld, but I could be wrong. Anyway, the cabinet was white and I think the buttons were black. It had a segmented liquid crystal display, but the digits in the display were a yellowish green on a black background instead of black on a white or whitish background like a typical liquid crystal display has. It was both solar and battery powered and could fit in a breast pocket. The size was comparable to that of the silver Sentry brand calculators sold at The Family Dollar. Unfortunately, I misplaced mine in late 2013 or early 2014. I remember that the original iPhone was released around the time I purchased this calculator and I remember going around, flashing that calculator and saying, “Wait! I have an iPhone too. This is my iPhone!” I cannot find another one like it to save my life. I’ve done exhausted searches on eBay and even that durn Amazon site, plus a general Google search, but had no real results. So, if anyone remembers the particular model number or any other revealing information by the physical description I had given of it, please drop me a line…”

AND

“I was looking at the wire for where my grandparents used to have their television antenna, prior to them subscribing to cable. I was amazed to learn that it was a 300 Ohm twin lead cable and not a 75 Ohm coaxial cable…They were/are considering getting rid of their cable television subscription and I was explaining to them that if they put up an antenna, they could catch about thirty or more channels and I would be glad to install their antenna for them if they went that route. I had also pulled up their guide feature and proved to them that there is not much original or quality programming on cable anymore. When they first subscribed to cable it was maybe $8 a month and the programming was excellent and original, but some time in the late 2000’s or early 2010’s cable television began to sharply decline in its quality and originality while skyrocketing in subscription costs. Not only that, prior to the early 2010’s, either the television or at least the VCR had a cable tuner and there was no need for that durn cable box, which my grandparents struggle to operate proficiently…”

AND

“It has been almost six years since the last time and the weather was much more stable this time, but earlier this evening I calibrated my Grandparents’ old barometer. It was only off by one-hundredth of an Inch of Mercury when compared with other air pressure observations taken in Raceland, Louisiana, so I took the smaller sized flat head screwdriver from my Polish screwdriver set and turned the set screw to position the needle where it needed to be. That was quite difficult getting it right on the money, believe it or not, and I am ashamed to admit, that from the frustration, I did not maintain neither a Christian vocabulary nor an inside voice. In my previous post, which I deleted because of inaccuracy, in which I stated the weather instruments were made in West Germany. They were actually made in Japan, but they reminded me of a model I had come across that was frequently made in West Germany. I was trying to be funny and say that I used a Polish screwdriver, to calibrate a German barometer when in all actuality the barometer is Japanese…”

On August 21, 2018, I posted:
“From a personal observation, I’ve come to the conclusion that old men, particularly those from the Greatest Generation and the Silent Generation, but probably the generations prior to those as well, have a special fondness for budget/economy friendly plastic flashlights. They really love those 6 Volt lantern flashlights. I’ve been doing some research and realize that these old men more than likely had a field day shopping at Radio Shack prior to 1989, for that and many other reasons…I do stand by my statement that I wish I knew The Bible like I know the Radio Shack catalogs…”

On August 20, 2018, I posted:
“Well, it’s rare that I find inaccurate information on Wikipedia, but just now I found something inaccurate on the said website: On their page dedicated to the National Weather Service New Orleans/Baton Rouge area, it is stated that “…Broadcasting activities of WXL41 began on August 17, 2005; when the NWS in New Orleans/Baton Rouge added a transmitter at Buras…” However, if you read the 1979 Radio Shack Catalog on page 175, it lists all of the Weather Radio broadcast stations active in the United States for that year, and guess what Buras, Louisiana is listed on that page, though it is misspelled, with two Rs instead of one. My biggest question is where did the writer of that Wikipedia article get his or her information?”

On August 19, 2018, I posted:
“The NOAA Weather Radio station KIH23 in Morgan City has been off the air for at least two days now…The number to report an outage is 1-888-886-1227…”

On August 18, 2018, I posted:
“The Weather Radio station KIH23 in Morgan City, Louisiana is offline and has been at least since yesterday…”

On August 16, 2018, I posted:
“Alcohol may have helped [Earnest] Hemmingway write like he did, but Wild Cherry Pepsi helps me write like I do. However, he was an extremely better writer than I and I would be very happy if I could just write half as well as he wrote…”

On August 5, 2018, I posted:
“I can say with total confidence, more than ever, that I love Jesus Christ, but I sure do detest religion…”

On August 4, 2018, I posted:
“I’m snapping almost two pounds of green beans by myself, but it will sure be worth it when I eat them!”

On July 31, 2018, I posted:
“Driving through Baton Rouge at night is very inspirational for my writing and also causes me to reminisce about things I had previously written…”

On July 27, 2018, I posted:
“I just got finished reading the July 25th 2018 edition of The Times of Houma Thibodaux. I know I am two days late, but am totally impressed by the honest, straight forward and balanced reporting yet again. This newspaper is a true asset for our surrounding communities and I wish it was published more than once a week…”

On July 25, 2018, I posted:
“I have unspoken prayers…Please pray for me.”

On July 23, 2018, I posted:
“I think for the next person who asks me if i play a musical instrument, I’ll simply but bluntly reply, “I don’t know!””

On July 22, 2018, I posted:
“Over the past few years I have posted to Facebook little quips involving the word “bae”, and I also made a post about gaslighting, trying to be funny and serious at the same time. Right now ghosting is on my mind, but I draw a blank when trying to make a witty post about the act of ghosting. All I can say is “Don’t do it!” Ghosting is a terrible thing, but is unfortunately all too frequent in today’s society…It sady is done even by Christians.”

On July 21, 2018, I posted:
“Skip is still rolling in. I am using a portable scanner with a stock antenna. I am in the Houma area, but hearing Union Pacific communications out of the Lake Charles and Beaumont areas. This is simply unheard of and impossible under normal conditions, but it is giving me lots of entertainment while I do household chores…”

“Skip is still rolling in, though not as intense. My television is catching stations from Texas and Mississippi. My scanner has quited down somewhat…”

AND

“Radio skip has been going on over South Louisiana since sometime last night. I spent most of the evening and into the morning hours listening to railroad communications that I usually cannot hear until the batteries in my scanner became weak. Skip is still rolling in as of the past few minutes. Anyone with a scanner should listen…”

On July 17, 2018, I posted:
“I’m back from my eye appointment. I was diagnosed as being Far Sighted and also having Slight Astigmatism. I was prescribed special reading glasses to deal with those diagnoses…”

On July 13, 2018, I posted:
“I’m glad that I’ll be seeing an eye doctor on the 17th, because right now I cannot read the stamping on my flashlight bulbs, not even with my glasses. I cannot tell if PR2 or PR6 is stamped on the base of the bulb. Judging by the overall dimness and color temperature, I’m almost sure it is a PR6…If I ever felt my actual age, right now is it.”

AND

“Here’s a little Christmas in July: Around Christmas time, many stores sell cane shaped clear plastic tubes and orange or red handles filled with bite-sized candies inside them. They are given as gifts. When I was a younger child, I always thought of pipeline markers sticking out of the ground when I saw or was given one…That’s probably proof that even as a child, I always thought outside the box…Did anyone else think this too or am I the only one?”

On July 11, 2018, I posted:
“To all my writer friends out there: Is there any particular drink you like to consume when writing? Is it a hard drink or a soft drink? My favorite drink when writing is Wild Cherry Pepsi and is typically my favorite [soft] drink in general. There is something about it that allows me to be creative. Now that I got my desired writing project done for the evening and ahead of time, I’m going relax and read “The Times of Houma Thibodaux.””

AND

“…Don’t get me wrong, I like to hear old men talk about the weather, but it can be very amusing to hear old women talk about old men, although you might blush quite a bit after hearing some of the stuff that comes out of their mouths…Speaking of old men talking about the weather, I am preparing my piece for the Radio Shack Weather Cube and the research is coming along nicely…”

AND

“The Weather Cube was an entry level Weather Radio made for and sold by Radio Shack from about 1969 to 2012…It had undergone design changes quite a few times, but is still a classic. I keep one in my living room and was just listening to updates on Tropical Storm Chris on it. I always pictured it being furnished in an off grid cabin in Yellowstone National Park. I also plan to write a blog post about this cool Weather Radio in the upcoming days…”

On July 7, 2018, I posted: “Warning: This post may save your life and property: I’ve seen some posts floating around Facebook questioning whether it s really dangerous to bathe or shower during a lightning storm. Let me clarify and say yes it most certainly is dangerous. During a lightning storm no one should ever by any means do the following: bathe, shower, handle any appliance or device that plugs into the grid, wash dishes or use a corded phone. Doing any of those is just as dangerous and sometomes more dangerous as being outside during a lightning storm and can result in serious injury or death. Remember if you can hear thunder you can be struck by lightning. If you are outdoors during a lightning storm, please do your best to get inside a grounded structure or fully closed vehicle until the storm has passed. If possible, please unplug any valuable electronics from their respective outlets, shut off your central air conditioner completely and disconnect all televisions and radios from their outdoor antennas as well as their power source. There is a lightning storm going on as I post this and I am posting from an Android smartphone, not my computer. I also unplugged every valuable device of mine except for my two weather radios and refrigerator…”

On July 6, 2018, I posted: “I bought and read my first copy of “The Times of Houma-Thibodaux” this morning and I am thoroughly impressed by the honest, heartfelt but balanced and straightforward reporting. I actually couldn’t put it down and read everything except for the sports section…Keep up the good work and know that your publication has just gained a reader!”

On July 5, 2018, I posted: “It was eleven years ago around this time that I first drank what would become my favorite soft drink, namely Wild Cherry Pepsi. I wasn’t allowed to finish it since I was shopping at Radio Shack and was drinking it out of a can. I had purchased it from a vending machine at the Wal Mart on MLK. Radio Shack had a policy of no food or drink inside their store, so I had to discard the can with maybe 1/4 of drink left in it. I was not happy about that either, even though at the time I was a Coke drinker. I don’t remember exactly when I got hooked on it, but now I seriously cannot go more than a few days without drinking a Wild Cherry Pepsi and have any comfort or ease…”

On July 3, 2018, I posted: “Late last month, for the first time ever, my mobile data was throttled to a speed appropriate only for dialing into Bulletin Board Systems or viewing VERY basic HTML web pages, which is approximately 14.4 KBPS. I felt like I was catapulted back into 1989-1990 or so, just I still had mobile data service (something unavailable to consumers in those days) and I, unfortunately, could not connect to the Temple of the Screaming Electron…Could throttled data speeds be set at 56 KBPS instead? Is that really too much to ask for? Well, a new payment cycle has begun and now I have 7 GB to use at 4G LTE speed. Hopefully, I’ll be wiser with my data usage this month…”

On July 2, 2018, I posted: “There’s a squall line approaching our area and my stupid self forgot my Weather Radio…”

On July 1, 2018, I posted:
“Well my television reception is still sub par, but at least WWL-TV is now coming in. Alexandra Cranford was reporting the weather and a downpour in the area, what all of my fellow Louisiana foamers would appreciate though, is that both Frellsen and Live Oak Manor were referenced in the path of that downpour. The only other time I’ve heard Frellsen mentioned was by the Kansas City Southern and Canadian National dispatchers on my scanner. CTC (Centralized Traffic Control, NOT Cut Throat City) Live Oak is in Waggaman along the BNSF and Union Pacific lines Frellsen is by Saint Rose and Almedia for those who didn’t know. Both are named points along their respective railroads…”

AND

“Television reception in the Houma area is downright pathetic. At this moment, I actually regret not subscribing to cable. By the way, those who know me well enough, know that I fervently do not believe in cable. However I can only catch one station and it is HTV. I moved my television and antenna to different parts of my living room, but still only catch HTV. Usually I can catch some New Orleans stations, but not tonight for whatever reason. I think I will subscribe to home Internet and WiFi so I can use my Roku Box if this poor television reception issue continues…”

AND

“This post may gross some of you out, but, I had sardine filets and olive oil on a French baguette for lunch…For whatever reason sardines disgust a lot of people, but I like their taste and health benefits. Furthermore, in The Bible, when Jesus Christ fed five thousand people, the two small fish were likely sardines and the five loaves were likely what we consider pistolettes or baguettes…”

On June 28, 2018, I posted: “For all the die cast toy vehicle collectors out there, Both Hot Wheels and Matchbox individual single pack vehicles are selling 3 for $2 at The Ruble, I mean The Dollar General. Also 2 Liter Pepsi products are selling 2 for $2.50 at the same retailer…Those are incredible deals, by the way..”

On June 26, 2018, I posted: “I think a brilliant idea just dawned on me: What if there was a roasted vegetable flavoring for Ramen Noodles? It could essentially use similar ingredients found in the Roasted Vegetable Ritz Crackers. That would be so durn good and I would buy it by the case if a such a thing was ever produced…”

On June 25, 2018, I posted:
“Speaking of the Swiss, I had thought of an idea last October, for Victorinox to make high precision, but rugged mechanical thermometers not only for the HVAC trade but also for the culinary and food service industry. I emailed the company about it but never got a response. Now I am also wondering, “What if there was a nutcracker implement on a Swiss Army Knife?””

AND

“I synchronized my Casio G-Shock with the Atomic clock a few days ago and already it is 2-3 seconds ahead. I’ve only had this watch for two years, so I am very disappointed that it is losing its accuracy. The band is also starting to break…So, I purchased two entry-level Swiss-made watches both of which, I was able to get at a huge discount. One arrived in the mail today and the other one will hopefully ship out today or tomorrow…”

On June 23, 2018, I posted: “For my Facebook friends that like to listen to current music and live in the Houma/Thibodaux area, KTIB plays almost exclusively current music with minimal commercials. The frequency is 640 on the AM dial but it also has an FM simulcast on 103.7, but the FM simulcast doesn’t reach far beyond Thibodaux…I’m listen to the AM broadcast as I am doing laundry and I am impressed that it is coming in mostly clear despite being in a concrete building with flourescent lights, washers, dryers and a high powered window air conditioner. The radio I am using is my Sony ICF-P26 and I just wish the FM tuner didn’t suffer so much bleeding…”

On June 22, 2018, I posted:
“I used to listen to NPR while doing laundry, usually, it was in the afternoon and the program on was “All Things Considered.” It was on an entry level Sylvania Boombox that was sold at The Ruble, I mean the Dollar General. I have terrible FM radio reception where I am currently staying, one station bleeds all over the dial and most other stations come in distorted, especially on my Sony ICF-P26. The only FM radios that work well in my immediate area are the ones installed in cars. I’m sure radio reception is even worse in the laundromat itself…NPR made doing the laundry more enjoyable, even though they tend to be quite biased, though not as biased as the rest of the media…Okay, If I continue, my post will become politically charged and I try to avoid that…”

AND

“Whenever I have to leave my residence, I always keep my keys on a neck lanyard. I’ve done this since 2014 when I had a pair of pants with belt loops that were too wide to fit my carabiner on. However, every time I go shopping, there’s always a fellow customer that sees the keys around my neck and thinks I work at the store which I am shopping. I can set my watch to it happening…Does this happen to anyone else who frequently uses a neck lanyard?”

On June 18, 2018, I posted: “With a jubilant heart, I give the highest praises to God my Father and Savior for taking care of me every step of the way, in Jesus Precious Name, Amen! Thank you to everyone who prayed for me!”

On June 14, 2018, I posted: “Once again, God has come through for me. Praise Him in Jesus’ Holy Name!”

On June 11, 2018, I posted: “I drove all the way to Beaumount Texas and back but did not see a single train…I went out for a drive to clear my head and meditated on various things while driving…”

On June 9, 2018, I posted: “While eating out tonight, I saw a young man who very much resembled Edward Cullen from The Twilight Saga…Somehow though the young lady with him did not look like Bella Swan at all…I do have one story that I am working on where my two main characters were inspired by Bella and Edward, but only in my subconscious mind and I don’t think anyone else would get it. Their names are Logan Baines and Mila Gunther…I’ve been writing it on and off since 2012…”

On June 6, 2018, I posted: “I’ll try to use my CB today, because it’s [the dark of the moon on the] sixth of June…”

On June 4, 2018, I posted: “Earlier this evening I heard something recited that I haven’t heard since 1991, back when I was only four years old, “I pledge to the Bible God’s Holy word, and will take it as a lamp unto my feet, a light unto my path, and hide its words in my heart that I may not sin against God.” Hearing that beautiful pledge did indeed bring on some flashbacks, from my razor sharp memory…”

On May 29, 2018, I posted: “I wanted to post this sooner, like over a week ago, but I plum forgot. I’ll post it now: The architectural style of Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport, definitely reminded me of the Schwegmann’s on Airline Highway in Metairie (Metry), Louisiana and possibly other Schwegmann’s stores…”

On the evening of May 28, 2018, I posted: “I fueled up my car at The Jubilee near Centerville, Louisiana yesterday evening. I miss the Jubilee in Schriever, Louisiana and there is actually a short story I wrote, initially, when I was sixteen, then rewrote it when I was twenty-nine, that very partially and briefly takes place at the Schriever Jubilee. Of course, the story takes place in late 2002, when that Jubilee store was still in operation. I even told the cashier all this last night and was surprised that she actually knew where Schriever was located…I’m highly tempted to post the link to that story, it’s just the characters’ names don’t sound very Louisiana at all…”

In the early morning hours of May 28, 2018, I posted: “If there is anything good about abusive people, it is this and probably only this: They sure are excellent inspirations to draw from for creating villainous and/or evil characters when writing fiction.”

In the early morning hours of May 24, 2018, I posted: “I tried to force myself to stop being attracted to plus-sized women, believe it or not. That was the worst few hours of my life…”

On May 23, 2018, I posted:

“I always laugh when driving or riding in or around Lafayette, Louisiana, so I think the said city has an appropriate name…”
…AND…
“Last Sunday evening/Monday morning when driving back from New Orleans International Airport, I said how my dad took off [of work] for the day, my friend told me how he took off [of work] as well. Then, I decided to be a little corny and say “airplanes take off all the time.” I wish I was more frequently in the mood to crack those kinds of jokes because I always get lots of laughs when I do…”

In the early morning hours of May 22, 2018, I posted: “In December of 1997, and many other times throughout my childhood and even into my adult life, my mom gave me some calculators that her students had discarded, despite them still being fully functional. This particular one was made for or by an electronics company known as “Royal.” I cannot remember the model number to save my life. All I know is that it had a single line segmented LCD and performed many of the common scientific and trigonometric functions. It was probably made around the 1980s or very early 1990s. Anyway, the next morning I was standing on the side of my paternal grandparents’ house waiting to catch the school bus, with that calculator in my pocket. It was sunny but cold enough that morning and when I exhaled, it looked like steam was coming out of my mouth and nostrils. I liked to hang around that side of my grandparents’ house because that is where the electric meter, cable hookup and, telephone junction box all were located and I was always fascinated by stuff like that. Anyway, at that moment a plane was flying over, because that part of the neighborhood is under a flight route. I was thinking how it would have been cool if I was on that plane using that calculator to aid the pilot in figuring out certain variables pertaining to navigation and fuel consumption of that aircraft. Unfortunately, that calculator fell apart sometime later. I was never able to find one like it…There was a time, mostly in my childhood and then in my teens, when I was obsessed with calculators and other handheld devices even more than flashlights, believe it or not…”

On May 21, 2018, I posted: “It really irks my butt that the Midland Weather Center app is no longer available. That was my favorite weather app and I first discovered it back in June of 2015 when I purchased a pocket sized Midland Weather Radio. I had purchased my first Android phone a month prior to that in May of 2015…”

On May 21, 2018, at 1:58 AM, I posted: “This past Thursday, I flew on a plane for the first time, it took me thirty-one years, but I finally did it. It was cool, I guess, but I can say with total confidence that I much prefer to travel by train. It’s not just because I am obsessed with trains either. I’ll be writing more about this on my blog in the upcoming days…”

On May 21, 2018, at 1:26 AM, I posted: “I was in Ohio for the past few days, but I am now back home. I want to thank those who prayed for my safe travels and God my Savior for answering those prayers.”

On May 18, 2018, I posted: “My eyes have had a durn difficult time focusing tonight…Time to break out the glasses…”

On May 17, 2018, I posted: “For edc backpacks I would choose Wenger Swiss Gear over Jan Sport any day of the week. Jan Sport, though rugged enough, has a design flaw where the bag’s fabric gets caught in the zipper system. It is a nightmare to fix this issue when it happens. I’ve been trying a Jan Sport for the past day and I miss my Swiss Gear backpack…”

On May 10, 2018, I posted: “My sources are telling me that this upcoming hurricane season will be quite active. A younger me would welcome this news with excitement because hurricanes mean power outages and power outages mean to break out the flashlights. Also, a very much younger me was in school and I didn’t like school much, so I looked at hurricanes as a vacation…However, my current thirty-something self shudders at the news that we might have an active hurricane season and I know Louisiana is due for one…”

On May 7, 2018, at 10:02 PM, I posted: “I’m grateful that the current is back on. When I was a child, a teenager and even into my younger adult life, I would literally pray for power outages. Why? Because it meant that it was time to use flashlights. Almost everyone who knows me well enough knows of my life-long infatuation with flashlights. However, in more recent years, I’ve come to see power failures as totally inconvenient, extremely bothersome and downright deadly for certain people with special needs…”

On May 7, 2018, at 5:36 PM, I posted: “I want to publically apologize for the insensitive post I made about SLECA a little over an hour ago. The reason why the said company’s customers are experiencing a power outage was due to an act of theft and vandalism. However, years ago when I was a SLECA customer, a power failure was almost a monthly occurrence. I am yet again a SLECA customer and my post was a reaction to what I assumed was one of their frequent infrastructure failures and I am sorry for assuming and being insensitive…At least SLECA feeds their customers a very delicious dinner of white beans and catfish and does other nice things for their customers that not many power companies around here do.”

Prior to that, On May 7, 2018, at 4:20 PM, I posted: “Let’s hear it for SLECA: electrical power that is affordable, yet intermittent at times!”

On May 6, 2018, I posted: “My favorite Christian hymn used to be “Victory in Jesus” which was penned by Eugene Monroe Bartlett in 1939. Now it is “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” which was penned by Robert Robinson in 1757…I wish more churches would use hymns like these during their services…”

In the early morning hours of May 5, 2018, I posted: “Today makes thirteen years that I have been carrying a flashlight on my person or at least having one very near me at all times…A part of me says, “I cannot believe it has been that long already.” Another part of me says, “It should have been much longer.” I can count on one hand and spare one finger the times since May 5, 2005, that I didn’t have a flashlight on me or near me…”

In the last few minutes of May 4, 2018, I posted: “I have OCD among other diagnoses and I will say that when working with HTML while writing on my blog, it comes very much in handy…If I was actually competent in Algebra, which I definitely am not, I might have gone to school for computer programming. I still sometimes EDC a TI-36 X Pro Engineering Calculator, though, which I’ve had since June of 2014…”

On May 3, 2018, I posted: “I installed an Amber lens on one of my Mini Maglites. I did this for two reasons: One, I think it looks very cool and, Two, it reminds of the fog lights I used to love to play with on my Paw Paw’s 1972 Dodge Truck…Besides navigating through fog, exactly what purposes do Amber colored lights serve?”

On April 26, 2018, I posted: “East Houma definitely reminds me of New Orleans East on both the conscious and subconscious levels…”

On April 25, 2018, I posted:

“Back in January my proverbial train was derailed on the mainline of humanity. By the end of January, it was rerailed but parked on the siding. However, as of today, I learned from the dispatcher that my train will soon have permission to leave the siding and the signal was given, not to continue on the same main track but to take a diverging route. The switch will be lined in a few days. I would like to thank all of those who helped re-rail my train and tend to it while parked on the siding, I will never forget any of you and I hope I can reciprocate the favors some day. I’ll also remember those who either refused to help or tried to aggravate the situation but I’ll try to find it in my heart to forgive them…”

“I just got weighed in at my doctor’s appointment and I am still experiencing unexplained weight loss…I’m definitely not complaining, but I would like to know the cause…”

On April 24, 2018, I posted: “I’ve been advised by a friend not to refer to the less desirable Dollar General Stores as “The Ruble General” anymore.
Instead, I should call them “The Bolivar General.” The Bolivar is the currency of Venezuela, which is a communist country, but shopping there even for just basic needs items is far worse than what shopping in the former Soviet Bloc was…”

On April 20, 2018, I posted:

“About my previous post: I’m just realizing that today is April 20 and my last post said how the Gerber Dime’s price should be $10 instead of $21, because of the name. Yes, I’ll admit that I thought of this because a bag containing $10 worth of marijuana is known on the streets as a “dime bag.” I was only trying to be funny, but also I’m all for cool gadgets being more affordable. However, I want to make it clear that I do NOT smoke the said herb nor do I use any other recreational drugs. I am too chicken to try the harder stuff, but I’ve been exposed to marijuana smoke second hand a few times in the past, and I do not like the effect it has on me at all. Second-hand weed smoke makes me paranoid, irritable and depressed, so I avoid it at all costs. I don’t even want to know how miserable it would make me if I actually were to take a full hit…I see where it indeed does well for some people, especially those who cannot tolerate the side effects of medications or cannot afford certain medications in general, but please, all you weed smokers out there if you can help it, be kind enough not to light up in my presence. I’ll also say that I could possibly tolerate weed being legalized nationwide, with the provision that weed-free zones be established, such as any place where I would reside would be a weed-free zone so I and anyone else like me won’t have to suffer the effects of it…”

“I’m still quite upset that I misplaced my favorite Leatherman pocket tool, my Style PS, but I recently replaced it with a Gerber Dime. I’ll admit that it’s a neat little instrument, but the name and price are misleading. Since it is known as the “Dime”, I think the MSRP should be $10 instead of $21. However, I paid a little less than that for mine, thanks to eBay…The MSRP of the [supposedly] TSA compliant model of the Gerber Dime is a little more at $25.”

Later that evening on April 16, 2018, I posted:

“Speaking of CB, when I was in my early twenties, my handle was “Macgyver”, for two reasons: My coworkers called me that because I always had tools and gadgets in my pocket and also because of the way I rigged up the wiring for the CB set in my car. I think from here on out, I will choose the handle “Mister Flashlight” because of my lifelong obsession with flashlights. I’m usually on Channel 19 or 20 when driving, but I refuse to get on the free band channels (not that I have free band equipment to begin with.)”

“There was a CB radio I had as a teenager. It was a Maxon MCB30. I recently scored another one off of eBay and installed it in my car. It’s probably the most basic CB set ever made, (no SWR or signal meters or any other fancy controls, just volume, squelch and a channel changer) but it is very rugged and compact. It also has sentimental value to me, as I bought my first one like that around the time I started writing (April 2003.) Speaking of writing, I drove to Metairie earlier today to try it out and made contact with a few truck drivers along the way, all of whom I talked to said I was coming in loud and clear. Thank God, there is no whining in my audio, which was a problem the last time I had a CB in my car. Unfortunately, I wasn’t really inspired to write anything during this trip.”

In the early morning hours of April 16, 2018, I posted, “Highway 57 in the lower portions of Terrebonne Parish most certainly has the curves of a beautiful woman!”

On April 15, 2018, I posted, “If you have a bay window with a seat, consider using it to cuddle with bae and watch the sun rise or set (depending on its location in your house.)”

On April 14, 2018, I posted, “So I am wondering if any Special Forces units of the NATO member countries ever carried Mini Maglites. This includes but not limited to the US Navy Seals, US Green Berets, British Special Air Service, French Red Berets, etc. The time period mostly in question is for missions that took place during the mid to late 1980s throughout the 1990s. Asking for myself…”

On April 13, 2018, I posted, “I misplaced my durn glasses last night and earlier today I misplaced my favorite Leatherman Tool…”

On April 10, 2018, I posted, “I have to admit, the Streamlight Junior flashlight is a force to be reckoned with and I have been a die-hard fan of its main rival, the Mini Maglite since December 19, 2005. I just wish the Streamlight Junior was made here in The States like the Mini Maglite is…”

On April 9, 2018, I posted, “I bought a Dorcy 6 Volt Lantern at the Ruble…I mean the Dollar General back in Late January of this year. I’ve only used it very intermittently since then, yet the battery is already quite weak. Either it came bundled with an older battery or it was used and I didn’t know, but I’ve had Cabon Zinc Chloride batteries last much longer than this with only intermittent use. I guess I’ll go to the Family Dollar in a couple of days for some more Carbon Zinc Chloride 908 Lantern Batteries since theirs are cheaper than the Dollar General or really any other store…”

On April 5, 2018, I posted, “Since tactical flashlights have been in existence for fifty years now, I think all of the flashlight companies that produce tactical models should each produce a replica of the original 1968 Kel Lite…The Kel Lite was the original heavy duty Aircraft Aluminum bodied flashlight that was geared towards Law Enforcement, Security and Emergency Personnel, invented by Los Angeles County Sherriff’s Deputy Donald Keller…I think I will write an article on my blog about this shortly (within the next few days), so stand by…”

On April 1, 2018, I posted, “…Some of the female train dispatchers (especially those on Union Pacific and Kansas City Southern) have very sexy voices…”

On March 31, 2018, I posted, “I wish this calculator was available here in The States for all my fellow Millenials that work in retail jobs…I would have loved to have one of these when I was a dairy clerk and I could have saved a plethora of ink and paper if I had one…” NOTE: The calculator in question was the Casio MP-12R/

On March 29, 2018, I posted, “I definitely need a haircut soon, but I am increasingly grateful that I am 31 years old and still have a full head of thick, albeit curly, hair. My maternal grandpa died at age 42 (29 years before I was born) but he had a full head of hair at that age or so I was told…”

On March 26, 2018, I posted, “So I went out for a drive tonight to clear my head…First I went down to Galliano, then I took Highway 1 and all the way to Port Allen and crossed the Old Bridge into Baton Rouge, got lost for a bit in downtown Baton Rouge, but then that infamous human GPS chip that I swear is planted in my brain kicked in and I got on Florida Boulevard, then Airline Highway which I took all the way to I-310. This was without the assistance of any map or GPS equipment too. I took 310 all the way to US 90 then stopped for gasoline and beer at the Race Trac in Paradis. The cashier carded me, so I showed my DL and asked her how old did I actually look. She told me that I looked 25, which I took as a huge compliment. I then told her that when I was in my late twenties, I was frequently mistook for a high schooler. Afterwards, I told her how she reminded me of a character in one of my stories, who was indeed a cashier at a truck stop. This wasn’t the first time a cashier at that said store reminded me of the truck stop cashier in my “Grocer and Writer” stories either. The highlight of the trip was that I saw a few trains on the UP Livonia Sub and one on the KCS New Orleans Sub. I’m back home now, Thank God for a safe and trouble free trip…”

On March 25, 2018, I posted, “When I see a train, lots of Dopamine is released throughout my body…It was like this for me as a younger child and also from age seventeen to present…”

On March 23, 2018, I posted, “There is yet another grocery related story series I am tempted to write. It came to me way back in September 2006 while driving on Canal Boulevard in Thibodaux, Louisiana. This one won’t be modern, rather it will take place in 2006, if I indeed decide to write it…”

Earlier on March 23, 2018, I posted, “I would dare to say that the Great Value (Wal Mart) Strawberry Soda tastes equally as good as the Chek (Winn Dixie) Strawberry Soda. However, Chek Creme Soda is far superior to Great Value as well as Best Choice (Associated Wholesale Grocers) and slightly better than Shur Fine (Associated Wholesalers Inc.) Creme Soda…”

On March 21, 2018, I posted, “There are some connections between my “Grocer and Writer” stories and the television show, “Big Bang Theory.” 1: Sheldon Cooper’s mother on “Big Bang Theory” and “Young Sheldon” is a lot like the mother of the main character in my “Grocer and Writer” stories. I didn’t watch either said show when I initially created that character back in November of 2015. It gets even deeper than that 2: Dr. Sheldon Cooper is obviously on the Autism Spectrum and so is my main character, but in some ways he’s higher functioning in other ways he’s much lower functioning. 3: I worked with a young lady at a grocer who was very similar in appearance and mannerisms to Sheldon’s girlfriend Dr. Amy Farah Fowler back in 2011 (about three years before beginning these stories.)”

On March 20, 2018, I posted, “I either heard or read somewhere that the new television broadcasting standard ATSC 3.0 will have the capability of automatically turning the television on to give severe weather information to viewers in the warned area. This could very well make weather radios obsolete. The only way weather radios would still have a purpose is if an ATSC signal cannot be received while mobile in motion, like currently with ATSC 2.0 and one wanted to get free weather information while on the go…”

A few hours later, on March 19, 2018, I posted, “So, for a while now, I’ve wondered if the 99 Knights of the Air wore Casio G-Shock Wristwatches while flying their super high tech jet fighters? Maybe if they were flying for NATO, but the said watch came out maybe just one year before…Or were they flying for the GDR? I’m also curious if they carried those small tactical flashlights with the red lenses…For those who didn’t get it, I was referencing the song “99 Red Baloons” by German Punk Rock artist, Nina. That and “Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins are my two favorite songs from the 1980’s…”

At Midnight 01, on March 19, 2018, I posted, “When I was a Catholic and there was threatening weather in my area, I would take a knife and hold it up to the sky and make a cutting motion in the shape of a cross. However, I would only use a knife that was made in Italy or Ireland, because The Irish are the most devout Catholics and the Roman Catholic Church is headquartered in Italy. Now when there is threatening weather in my area, I simply monitor the Weather Radio broadcast and if it gets really bad, I pray directly to God in Jesus’ Name then forward the severe weather information on social media…”

In the early morning hours of March 17, 2018, I posted “Not to blow my own horn, but some of the works of fiction I have written over the years came to pass in some way, shape or form. I just saw this year’s list of hurricane names, which made me think of this post: What would freak me out is if there is ever a hurricane named Alidore, it makes a direct hit to the suburbs immediately west of New Orleans, is a strong Category 1 or weak Category 2 and it forms in the month of May, which would technically be pre season…Such an occurence happened in my “Disabled Electrician Turned Writer” stories, which I began in February of 2017 as a less controversial replacement to my “Grocer and Writer” stories…”

On March 14, 2018, I posted: “Rest in Peace Doctor Stephen Hawking. You were a brilliant person. I find it ironic that you died on Pi Day…”

On March 3, 2018, I posted: “As of late last night, I am no longer an AT&T customer. I am on Verizon now. This comes after years of dealing with snail paced data speeds (even when subscribing to 4G LTE service) and constantly having dropped or unintelligible calls in areas which I am frequently located…I was loyal to AT&T all those years for a silly reason anyway and that was their network is GSM and the railroads in Europe as well as some of Asia use a form of GSM for their communications networks. Yes, I am that much of a foamer! I wouldn’t want the railroads here in The States to use GSM though, because there is no [legal] scanner that can listen to them…EDIT: My number is still the same, I was able to have it ported without too much trouble.”

On March 1, 2018, I posted: “Ever since the Highway 308 bridge near the junction with Highway 182 in Raceland has been out of service the traffic on Highway 1 has been congested like Dick Cheney’s arteries, or, more recently Hillary Clinton’s lungs…”

On February 25, 2018, I posted: “There’s a small town in Louisiana called “Chackbay.” I’ve only been there a few times so I’m not sure if it would be a romantic place to shack up with bae or not…”

On February 23, 2018, I posted: “Here’s a post about cats: A woman that goes after or accepts significantly younger men is known as a “cougar.” A woman that goes after or accepts slightly younger men is known as a “puma.” I think a woman that goes after or accepts older men should from now on be referred to as a “tabby.””

On February 21, 2018, I posted: “Televangelist Billy Graham has died. I know he must have received a huge crown in Heaven which he will cast at Jesus’ feet. Because of his mass presentation of The Gospel of Jesus Christ, many family members of mine got saved, when they otherwise probably wouldn’t have…Enjoy your Heavenly reward Reverend Billy Graham, I’m sure it’s a great one!”

On February 4, 2018, I posted: “Happy Heavenly Birthday to my Maternal Grandma, June Aucoin Gauslin! She would have made 100 years old today if she was still with us…”

On January 31, 2018, I posted: “I’d rather be kicked in my testes with the truth than kissed on my lips with a lie…”

On January 26, 2018, I posted: “As for children eating things they should never eat, ie laundry detergent pods, I remember when I was a very young child and my parents would take me to make groceries with them at The Raceland Supermarket, there was a display pail of toilet bowl fresheners with different colors for different scents. I thought it was some form of candy, but the reason I didn’t put it in my mouth is because it wasn’t paid for and one or both of my parents told me it was poisonous chemicals, which made me never want to touch it again…”

On January 20, 2018, I posted: “…I’m tired of living my life like an LED flashlight in an electromagnetic pulse attack, never finding a decent Faraday Cage when the bombs are going off…”

On January 17, 2018, I posted: “I only WISH the Weather Radio stations in this area would activate the alarms for Freeze Warnings and Hard Freeze Warnings. I didn’t know we were under a Hard Freeze Warning until I woke up this morning and I only saw it because I checked the Midland Weather app on my phone, which didn’t alert me either…People in Louisiana are NOT prepared for this kind of weather, so we need to be alerted as much as possible.”

On January 16, 2018, I posted: “I am convinced that the pen is mightier than the sword and I do not carry the pen in vain.”

On January 13, 2018, I posted: “The two main characters/lovers in my “Grocer and Writer” stories finally have names, albeit almost four years later. I’ve decided to call them “Garth Cooper” and “Samantha Abbott.” My subconscious mind had a lot to do with those name choices. Now they won’t be named in the actual “Grocer and Writer” stories themselves (at least for now), but they are referenced and named in another story that I am currently working on…”

On January 11, 2018, I posted: “The “new” voice on the NOAA Weather Radio that was implemented in 2016, reminds me of Governor Bel-Edwards’ voice and always has…If you have access to a Weather Radio, turn it on and listen. See if you think so as well…”

On January 8, 2018, I posted: “I just made 31 and what do you know, I still have acne. Granted it’s nowhere near as bad as when I was teen. Aside from the slight pain of one of the pimples on my face swelling, I’m not complaining, because I look at acne as a sign of youth…”

On January 4, 2018, I posted: “Okay, Hormel, I have a suggestion for your canned chili department: Can you please make a variety that is both “chunky” and “hot”? Those are my two favorites but I always have a hard time deciding which one to buy. Make in both styles of “with beans” and “no beans.””

On December 31, 2017, I posted: “I think my New Year’s Resolution will be to stop using foul language. If I can refrain from cussing while in the presence of ladies or at church, like I currently do, I can make an effort to stop using it altogether. Pray for me y’all!”

On December 30, 2017, I posted: “So, I’m thirty and about to be thirty-one in a few short days and finally, today was the first time I ever drove a car across a state line. What is really cool about that though, is today is also the fourteen year anniversary of me getting my driver’s licence. I’m back home now and I thank God my Savior for a safe and trouble free trip…”

On December 29, 2017, I posted: “Has anyone ever used their pet’s name as the SSID on their WiFi router?”

On December 21, 2017, I posted: “Certain soft drinks have a positive effect on my writing. I’ll go as far to say, that they might even be able to cure my writer’s block when I am suffering from it. I discovered this a few days ago, when I sat down at my computer with a mug of ice cold Wild Cherry Pepsi. The inspirations came rushing in and got more and more powerful with each sip I took. Is this said drink addictive? To me at least, hell yes it’s addictive. But it isn’t as harmful alcohol or street drugs, well aside from the potential for weight gain. If their were any stores open right now, I’d walk there and definitely buy a couple two liter bottles…”

On December 17, 2017, I posted: “Gaslighting is great when lighting your range for cooking or lighting the fireplace to cuddle with bae…Gaslighting someone, especially a mental patient, to forward a selfish agenda is a terrible thing to do…”

In the early morning hours of December 14, 2017, I posted: “Bay leaves are a very good thing when making red beans and rice…However it is not a good thing when bae leaves [you] unless your relationship with bae was an abusive or unfaithful one…”

On December 12, 2017, I posted: “In the Summer of 1992, I was five and a half years old and saw that two of my older cousins each had a globe in their rooms. Me being fascinated with maps even back then wanted one too. So I asked my mom to buy me one but she refused and her reason was that “too many countries are changing right now.” My mom is never keen on world politics, but that statement she made was dead on with the Soviet Union recently dissolving, The Bosnian conflict beginning, instability in Africa, the drug war in Latin America and tension in the Middle East…Twenty Five years later some of these issues are still present and the ones that did resolve themselves were replaced with new crises. Okay I have to stop now because I promised myself and all my Facebook friends that I would refrain fro posting politically charged material…”

On November 22, 2017, I posted: “I have a burning question and I know asking it will probably ruffle some feathers but I am wondering what would have happened if Jehovah’s Witnesses knocked on Archie Bunker’s door?”

On November 19, 2017, I posted: “I wish egg nog was available year round, but then my weight problem would be even worse. Even though I am madly attracted to plus sized women and have been for the better half of my life, I myself don’t like being overweight, so I guess that makes me a perfect hypocrite…”

On November 10, 2017, I posted: “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The best episodes of “The Simpsons” were the ones that were originally aired when The Southern Pacific was still in existence…”

On November 7, 2017, I posted: “I remember twice in elementary school at Saint Mary’s (which is surrounded by sugarcane fields) the sugarcane farmers were burning the fields. The heat from the fires caused a very weak tornado (like a steam devil or a fire devil) to form. Both of these occurred on sunny “good weather days.” The first time was in 1995 during my second grade year. Myself and a couple of friends were freaked out and went hide in the bathroom…The second time it happened, I was in sixth or seventh grade (between 1999 and 2001) and I ran off the school campus and into the cane fields so I could witness the tornado like funnel cloud up close, but then got chewed out by the principal (God rest his soul.) Another time during my Freshman year of high school at Vandebilt (2002-2003), I was eating lunch and shooting the breeze with the groundskeeper when, suddenly, a dust devil cut across the campus. This too was on a sunny, “good weather day.” I ran directly into the funnel cloud which the force of the wind, while very weak compared to a true tornado, pulled my shirt out of my pants and covered me in dust. Minutes later I got chewed out by a female coach for having my shirt un-tucked. I tried explaining that I just walked through a tornado, but got chewed out even more…The two other times I experienced, but didn’t actually witness the tornado itself (and these were real tornadoes) was in the summer of 1990 at age three and April 2015 at age twenty eight, both of which I vividly remember…With that being said, does anyone know if the 1996 movie “Twister” is available on Netflix? I’m in the mood to watch it…”

On October 31, 2017, I posted: “I’m not as interested in The Simpsons as I was earlier in my life, but I definitely remember Patty and Selma Bouvier (Marge’s older sisters) being obsessed with MacGyver in the late 1980s and early 1990s. However that was when he was played by Richard Dean Anderson. I wonder if they would be as obsessed with the current MacGyver played by Lucas Till. That might be somewhat creepy if they were…It was actually from me watching re runs of The Simpsons that I initially heard of MacGyver. AND It was also on The Simpsons that I first learned of a certain item known as a “Swiss Army Knife.” Those in my immediate family completely understand the impact The Simpsons has had on my life, sadly the said show isn’t entertaining anymore and many times it is depressing to me…”

On October 27, 2017, I posted: “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: When my hair is long and curly, I look like a chipmunk…When my hair is short, I look like a sheared ram. However I do indeed need a haircut…”

On October 24, 2017, I posted: “So I just had another idea for a certain company to make a certain product: What if Victorinox Swiss Army began making high precision bi-metal thermometers for use in not only the culinary/grocery but also the HVAC and Refrigeration fields? I would definitely buy one and keep it with my edc gear for sure! I’m going to attempt to email the said company, but anyone who may agree with me should also email them…”

On October 23, 2017, I posted:  “What if Polly Pocket and Might Max are now married with several kids and live in a compact house that can fold? Not all of you will understand this joke, but my fellow older Millennials should as well as some of the younger Gen-Xers should get it…”

On October 21, 2017, I posted:  “Oh, my I had two bizarre dreams last night…The first one was where the government was looking for me because I was illegally talking on railroad frequencies. I wouldn’t do this unless it was to report a life threatening emergency that pertained to railroads.The second one was even more bizarre as I dreamed that I along with several high school classmates were using acid (as in the recreational drug that hippies use.) That is something I know I would never do because, yes I’ll admit it, I’m to chicken to use any illegal drugs and I’ll only prescription drugs under the care of a competent physician…”

On October 20, 2017, I posted:  “On yesterday’s episode of Y&R there was a scene that briefly showed Victor Newman’s wristwatch. I could be very wrong (and someone correct me if I am), but to me the watch appeared to be a Victorinox Alliance Chronograph 44 Millimeter or a Victorinox Airboss Mach 9…That would be hilarious to me if Victor Newman does indeed wear a watch with a name similar to his…And of course there is indeed another CBS show that definitely features Victorinox products, none other than MacGyver of course…Think of all the free positive publicity the said company gets.”

Later that evening, on October 19, 2017, I posted again:  “It’s just a fact of life: In order to fully function in modern society [at least as a Millenial], one needs a smartphone (preferably Android or Apple, but Microsoft is okay too, I guess.) AND One needs to carry his/her credit and debit cards in an RFID shielded wallet…I cannot stress this enough. I’ll admit that I didn’t own a smartphone (except for a Blackberry, albeit briefly) until I was 28 and I’m now almost 31 now, but ever since I’ve used credit and debit cards with those durn chips, I’ve always carried them in RFID shielded wallets…”

On October 19, 2017, I posted:  “Yesterday I was driving around eating and tending to things. The song “Photograph” by Ed Sheeran came on the car radio. A few lines in that song always reminded me of a scene in my “Grocer and Writer” stories. It didn’t inspire the scene because I wrote that scene before I heard the actual song. The scene involved my couple kissing under the glow of a streetlamp. Anyway, while that song was playing I was passing in front of a place of business that heavily inspired me to write the said series. Every now and then, strange but amusing coincidences like this happen to me…”

On October 12, 2017, I posted:  “What I’ve wanted to know for a long time is “Why doesn’t the Weather Band come standard on car radios, like in addition to the AM and FM broadcast bands?” I know back in the day, Radio Shack sold Weather Radios that could be installed in cars, but hardly anyone was probably aware of them…”

On October 3, 2017, I posted:  “Veteran actor Hans-Jörg Gudegast AKA Eric Braeden (plays Victor Newman on Y&R) looks very much like a younger version of the late CBS News journalist Walter Cronkite.”

On September 20, 2017, I posted:  “What if Midland Electronics could make a VHF airband radio receiver that was similar in form factor to their pocket sized Weather Radio, the HH50B? That would be so cool! All aviators and aviation buffs, please Google that model and you’ll see what I am talking about. If I was any good at drawing and autocad (which I am not) I would so be a radio and flashlight designer…”

On September 12, 2017, I posted:  “So earlier this evening I was driving and listening to the FM radio. The song “Little Red Corvette” by Prince came on. Suddenly a little red Corvette passed me up and then sped off into the night. I thought to myself and wish I could have told the driver, “Baby, you’ve got to slow down. Those signs with the number “90” are the highway’s route number and not the speed limit…”

And:  “The Meghan Trainor song “All About That Bass” was released on June 30, 2014. That’s the same day I began my “Grocer and Writer” stories. What’s really amazing is: that song and those stories contain very similar themes; namely beautiful plus sized women…I didn’t hear that song and actually pay attention to it until six months later on December 31, 2014…”

And:  “To the mariner in the Lafourche area calling on Channel 16 for a radio check between 2:10 and 2:20 PM (14:10-14:20) on September 12, 2017: Your signal was coming in loud and clear in the Sugarland area of Raceland. My guess is that you were either on Lake Fields, The Barataria and Lafourche Company Canal or Bayou Lafourche. Hope my signal report was helpful. I didn’t hear anyone else answer you…”

And:  “I wish I had a dollar every time someone asked me if I was a fireman. I would be rich. Now granted, every time that happened, it’s because the person asking me saw the scanner in my pocket or elsewhere on my person. I usually explain that it’s mainly for listening to railroad and marine traffic but I have a few of fire dispatch channels programmed in there as well…”

On September 7, 2017, I posted:  “So the island of Barbuda is uninhabitable, thanks to Hurricane Irma. How did that place come to be to begin with? Did Barbados and Bermuda have a one night stand and then nine months later Bermuda gave birth to Barbuda? Sorry I couldn’t resist making that joke…

On September 5, 2017, I posted: “In my late teens, I would sometimes attend the evening services at a church in Schriever, Louisiana. Sometimes while waiting for services to begin I would stand outside. There was a small airport nearby (L83) which had a rotating light beacon that could be seen from the front of the church. This was especially true in winter months when it got dark earlier. Now even though I was going to church, I would see that light beacon and think of the soap opera “Guiding Light.” Well, in all fairness, Guiding Light started out as a Christian soap opera though…”

On August, 17, 2017, I posted: “Picture this: A preschool teacher is having circle time with her students and starts singing Barney songs. She leads the class with, “If all the rain drops were lemon drops and gum drops; what kind of rain would that be? Standing outside with our mouths open wide ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!” Then a little boy or girl decides to take the lead and recites, “If all the rain drops were Klonopin and Xanax; what kind of rain would that be? Standing outside with our mouths open wide ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!” The teacher would probably be livid and probably very concerned. She would most likely end up writing a serious email to the child’s parents and/or possibly contacting the authorities.” I thought of this about five years prior to actually posting it. There is something I find extremely funny about a child saying something naughty (usually that he/she picks up from the parents) and not realizing it’s naughty. While I don’t abuse drugs (be it recreational or prescription), I could picture a future child of mine overhearing me cracking a joke like that, then going to school and saying it…

On August 7, 2017, I posted: “The latest J. G. Wentworth commercial is so 2001…”-This is the one with the boy band and autotune feature, which both were popular in 2001.

On August 5, 2017, I posted: “While I’ve stated that shopping at The Ruble…I mean…The Dollar General in Raceland is what shopping in the Soviet Bloc must have been like, it is completely different at the Lockport Dollar General. Shopping there is like shopping in any decent, modernized western country. I went there today to get some oil for my car, but also saw that the said store had some genuine die cast Matchbox Cars on display for $1 each. So I purchased four of them. By the way, Matchbox Cars, if kept in mint condition, appreciate with time. I don’t think I’ve seen Matchbox products ever sold at The Dollar General or The Family Dollar before, but those two stores have sold generic brand die cast cars…”

On August 3, 2017, I posted: “There’s a company that makes quality plastic flashlights known as “Bayco.” What if there was a company pronounced the same but changed the “y” to an “e.” The new company could make overnight bags and personal hygiene products for when one wants to sleep over at bae’s place…”

Later than day, On July 28, 2017, I posted: “On a lighter note: Does anyone else notice how National Public Radio correspondent Robert Siegel has a voice very similar to actor/television host Alan Alda?”-Self explanatory.

On July 28, 2017, I posted: “Warning, this post is borderline and marginally pollitically charged and I apologize for breaking my promise on not posting such material. However, I find that shopping at my local Dollar General on the corner of Highway 182 (Old Houma Road) and Highway 1, must be what shopping for groceries and supplies in the former Soviet Bloc countries was like. The said retailer was out of many items and many shelves were empty. Also, many times one has to wait in a long line to check out…I’ve read many articles and watched a few documentaries and learned the shopping experience in USSR, was like this but even worse…”

On July 7, 2017, I posted: “Here’s a double standard (and those of you who know me well know I detest double standards): It’s about men and women…Why is it that women get praised liking sports, which are mostly geared towards men, however men catch at worse harassment and at best a scrutinizing look for liking soap operas, which are mostly geared towards women? Currently, I don’t watch any soap operas but I have in the past and caught a lot of negative reactions when I was open and honest about watching them. Okay, rant over. What are your thoughts?”

On June 24, 2017, I posted: “The mountainous roads in East Tennessee are very curvy-like a beautiful woman!”-This could be a joke, I guess, but I really am attracted to plus sized women. I was trying to be funny, but at the same time tell the world about my perversion, if one could call it that.

On June 17, 2017, I posted: “Autocorrect is extremely annoying to me. This is because it many times chooses the wrong words. I know I’m pretty anal about using proper spelling and grammar in my texts and online posts but at this point autocorrect is doing more harm than good…”-While I was aggravated at the time of making the post, especially since my phone thought it had a better vocabulary than me, I do find it a little humorous looking in retrospect.

On June 4, 2017, I posted: “If Russian President Vladimir Putin attended grade school in The States or any other Englsih speaking territory, I’m sure there would have been a lot of giggling every time his name was mentioned…”-Okay, I’m a guy and that means I almost have the right to act immaturely sometimes. I can have a childlike silliness about me when I’m in certain moods, so take it or leave it. I just hope, you, the reader laughed, at least a little.

On April 1, 2017, I posted: “I don’t know where MBX County is located, but it must have a lot of revenue because the fire chief is issued a 2015 Corvette Stingray…”-This is a reference to my interest in collecting Matchbox Cars. Only one person got the joke, but only sort of. I think he thought I was being serious, so naturally he tried correcting me.

On March 11, 2017, I posted: “To all my friends and commuters in the Houma, LA area: When the traffic on Prospect Boulevard is congested, I suggest cursing the traffic using Old American Prospector words such as “dagnabbit”, “consarnit”, “conflabbit”, etc. I figure since it is named Prospect, curse the traffic like a prospector…”-I had woken up earlier that morning from a dream where I was talking like a prospector and that is what made me think to post this. There is much humor is cuss words and fake cuss words for whatever reason, even though my fellow Christians may disagree.

On February 25, 2017, I posted: “How can you cash a check outside anyway? Maybe you could deposit it at the ATM wait for it to clear and reflect in your balance and then withdraw the cash, but I find it easier to cash the check inside the bank and get the money quicker…”-This is me making light of the “Cash Me Outside” girl featured on Doctor Phil. I know I shouldn’t find humor in children that behave like that, but I wasn’t laughing with her, I was laughing at her.

On February 24, 2017, I posted: “Picture This: A middle school English teacher is teaching the class about singular nouns and verbs. One boy blurts out “Um I believe they are now called AT&T nouns and verbs and have been since about 2007.” Some classmates laugh others roll their eyes. The teacher ends up writing an email to the boy’s parents about his disruptive behavior…”-I actually made a similar joke like this when I was taking English classes all throughout high school. My parents were never called, but I did get a dirty look and a few cross words from the teacher. I can be quite corny at times, love it or hate it.

On January 11, 2017, I posted: “So I found out that Mag Instrument will not be making a special edition Mini Maglite for the Donald Trump presidential inauguration. I don’t know what to think about this, but I’m a little disappointed simply because a flashlight with a high collector’s value won’t be made…”

On January 3, 2017, I posted: “Not to get political or anything, but I wonder if Mag Instrument will make a special edition Mini Maglite for the Donald Trump inauguration. The said company only makes those flashlights when a Republican president is inaugurated and has been doing so since 1989 when the first Bush was sworn in. By the way one of those Mini Maglites from 1989 (A Thousand Points of Light) are now worth a lot of money…Now that I have said this please do not comment anything politically charged, as this post is strictly about highly collectible flashlights…”

On January 2, 2017, I posted: “Thank you to everyone who wished me Happy Birthday…Today I make 30. I’m told I don’t look it and I know I don’t always act it. What’s in a number anyway? Jen and I went out in Morgan City and had a decent time. I only heard one train while shopping at Tiger Island Hardware, where I got a nice 6 Volt Lantern for feeding Angel at night. However, I saw and heard quite a few boats while driving on the Old Highway 90. We ate at East Gate Barbecue which I highly recommend to everyone. We’re back home now and I thank God for giving us a safe trip…All of you please be safe if must travel today. My weather radio hasn’t gone off as of yet, but I heard a few thunderings.”

On December 27, 2016, I posted: “AT&T’s LTE data is exponentially faster in Bayou Blue as opposed to Raceland. Now why is that so?”

On December 10, 2016, I posted: “This week has been the week from hell. I’ve been sleep deprived, got shocked (electrical) while trying to fix a heater and I was unsuccessful in fixing it, battling a painful ear infection and having car trouble to boot…I just need to remember that God will never leave me nor forsake me and He has a reason for all of it…”

On December 5, 2016, I posted: “I know neither the current nor the former Macgyver wears a Casio G-Shock…BUT… Maybe he should since he is into hockey. You see it was that said sport that made the G-SHOCK famous when Casio did a commercial of hitting that watch as hard as possible with a hockey stick and the goalie caught it. The watch still worked perfectly even after withstanding that amount of abuse… Just my thoughts.”

On December 3, 2016, I posted: “Since there is a revival of Macgyver, and I enjoy it thoroughly, I personally think there needs to be a revival of The A-Team as well. I know I’m not the only one who thinks so either…”

On December 2, 2016, I posted: “New Orleans technically has a commuter/light rail service, namely the street car system. If any other Louisiana city should have commuter trains, I think it should be Lake Charles. Actually i think it would be a good idea to put a commuter system through out all of Calcasieu Parish…”

On December 1, 2016, I posted: “Macgyver’s Swiss Army Knife is definitely a Victorinox, no doubt about it. I recognize the logo any day and Wenger (the other Swiss Army Knife maker) was bought out by Victorinox in 2005 and discontinued in 2013. But, I think his wristwatch is also a Victorinox but I could be wrong. I don’t know what model and make of watch Jack Dalton wears, but a high end Casio G-Shock or a Luminox would probably be appropriate for him. Hopefully I’ll be able to watch the said show tomorrow night. Does anyone know where I can see the pilot episode?”

Earlier that Day, I posted: “Pepsi relaunched their Crystal soft drink earlier this year. It had a pretty decent taste, I guess. What would really be awesome is if the said drink company would bring back the Holiday Spice cola, this year and every Christmas season from now on…By the way, I wonder if the sugar used in Pepsi is still made right here in Raceland…”

On November 28, 2016, I posted: “Picture This:. A Kindergarten teacher has her class at attention and asks each student “What is your favorite activity for your free time?”. One student raises his hand and replies “Netflix and chill with bae!” The whole class laughs and the teacher is kind of ticked off but also wants to laugh as well. In the end she either sends a note or an email to the child’s parents…”-I guess that is how I would have acted if I were a child in these modern times, or if I had a son, that is probably how he would act. I think it’s cute, but I can see where some teachers would find it a little innappropriate. But there is much humor associated with innappropriate things.

On October 22, 2016, I posted: “So while Jen and I were shopping at Big Lot’s, we were paying with a credit card. I asked the cashier if we use “the chip or the strip” as I do any time I pay with a credit or debit card. Then I decided to be a little corny and asked “Do you prefer potato chips or chicken strips?”…I got a pretty good laugh…” Again, I can be very corny, love it or hate it. I still sometimes crack this joke when checking out at any brick and mortar retailer. Sometimes people laugh. Sometimes people roll their eyes…

On October 18, 2016, I posted: “So, when I was three years old, the song “Cherry Pie” by the band Warrant was released. I remember going around the yard singing it. My mom would get so mad at me and make me stop. I had no idea why until I actually listened to the said song in my late teens or early twenties…”-It was more of a personal reflection and sharing of a childhood memory, but still a little kid singing a dirty song and not realizing it’s dirty can be quite hilarious.

On October 14, 2016, I posted: “Okay I just thought of a nerdy and, at the same time, religious joke:
Q What programming language do the [graphing] calculators in Heaven use?
A Assembly of God…”-It was corny and nerdy, but what the hell, I thought it was funny. No one else did, but I don’t care.

On October 1, 2016, I posted: “Okay on a much lighter note I thought of something potentially amusing: What if the website eBay replaced the “y” in its name with an “e”? The pronunciation would still be the same, but instead of being an online commerce site, it would be an online dating site!”

On August 12, 2016, I posted: “In my opinion (yours may vary) the funniest thing to hear on a scanner would be an old train dispatcher giving instructions to a conductor or engineer and then sneezing really loud into the mouthpiece and everyone listening would hear…”

On July 26, 2016, I posted: “Why are the benches in any church called pews? My guess is because everybody’s behind touches them. But if that was the case, then any furniture that is to be sat on could be called a pew as well…What are your thoughts?”-I know as a Christian, I probably shouldn’t listen to him, but it was George Carlin, AKA Mister Conductor that inspired me to think of this post.

On July 10, 2016, I posted:
“Q: What does Highway 308 have in common with a beautiful woman?
A: Curves!”-The Highway 308 in question is Louisiana Highway 308, which runs along the East Bank of Bayou Lafourche from Donaldsonville to Golden Meadow. It is quite curvy in some areas. As usual I was trying to express my fondness for plus sized women, of course and be funny at the same time.

On June 30, 2016, I posted: “If Android ever releases a new operating system around Christmas Time (between Black Friday and January 6th) it should be named “Rice Pudding”. I know in the past I suggested “White Bean Hot Dog”, but now I think Android should stick to dessert names…”

On June 23, 2016, I posted: “So I commented this on a friend’s post about the inventor of Air Conditioning and I will also post it to my Timeline: Comparing an A/C system to the human body: The compressor is like a heart. The metal tubing is like a vascular system. The relays and wires are like a nervous system. The filter-dryer is like a liver. The thermostat is like a brain. The condeser and evaporator coils along with their fans are like a respritory system…And no joke there is even a piece in the system known as a “capilary” which is similar in function to capilaries in the human body…I’ve wanted to make that analogy for a LONG time. Remember though that since an air conditioning system functions like a human body, it must be taken care of as such, especially in the hot weather we’ve been experiencing…”

On June 19, 2016, I posted: “One time in a high school Psychology class we were learning about a boy who grew up in the wild. He was eventually named Victor. One of the girls in the class blurted out “Victor Newman.” I thought that was pretty freakin’ funny. I wonder if anyone else in the class understood that girl’s comment…”

On June 1, 2016, I posted: “From what I gather Louisiana and Alaska have plenty in common, except for the VAST temperature difference. I’ve lived in Louisiana all my life. Though I’ve never been to Alaska, I find that the said state has plenty in common with my state such as people’s spirits, the fishing industry, the oil/gas production, the hunting of dangerous/delicious animals. They are all similar in their own respective ways…To further my observation, notice that both states have towns named Anchorage and both of those towns are served by railroad!”

On January 5, 2016, I posted: “I wonder if Run Around Sue ever contemplated what her future husband would be like?”-This was NOT meant to be any sort of insult to the singer/songwriter Meghan Trainor. I greatly respect and revere her, not to mention I think she is very beautiful. I think she is the most beautiful person currently in the music business. The reason why I said this was because there is a part in the song “Dear Future Husband” which she sang and probably wrote that sounds quite similar to “Runaround Sue” by Dion. Both artists were/are known for their doo wop and blue eyed soul music.

On August 22, 2015, I posted: “I wonder: When Bubba shot the juke box and killed it, did Arthur Fonzarelli hit it with his hand and bring it back to life?”-This is a reference to a certain country song and a 1970s sitcom about the 1950s.

On January, 30, 2015, I posted: “So, heres an interesting question: Does the Eveready Cat ever try to hunt down the Energizer Bunny?”-Technically both Eveready and Energizer are the same company. However, I had a semi wild cat growing up and she would stalk anything that moved. I once saw her in hot pursuit of a rabbit, which inspired this post.

On January 13, 2015, I posted: “Some Biblical humor: There’s the story where Jesus prophesied that Peter would deny him three times. The Old King James says Peter would deny Him three times before the cock crowed, whereas the New King James says rooster instead of cock. Did preachers and teachers get fed up with children (and maybe some adults) laughing every time the word “cock” was uttered in church or school? Maybe they petitioned the Bible publishers to change that word?”-That’s another joke that was inspired by George Carlin’s comedy.

On January 8, 2015, I posted: “So: Do you understand or do you stand under?” My Paw Paw had asked me that question earlier that day and me having a dirty mind at times assumed he was trying to say something perverted but in a very covert manner. He and I have a similar sense of humor, though mine is more diversified.

On November 23, 2014, I posted: “Crows have such filthy mouths; they are forever saying caca!”-I was at church of all places and heard some crows outside the annex hall, so I thought up this joke. I had cracked other jokes that day as well.

On August 23, 2014, I posted: “20 Years ago land-line phones were a staple and cellular phones were a luxury. Now cellular phones are a staple and land-line phones are a luxury…”-I was watching a marathon of The Simpsons and saw episodes from the early to mid 1990s, and that is what inspired that post. In late 2016 or early 2017, I quit watching The Simpsons altogether because of spiritual convictions, but at the time of the post I watched and enjoyed the older episodes, while I detested the newer episodes because of their irreverence towards God.

On March, 15, 2014, I posted: “When you hear about the town of Diamondhead, Mississippi, do you think of snakes? I do.”-I always thought this because there are two types of vipers, the Diamondback Rattlesnake and the Copper Head. I got laughs from this, but wasn’t really expecting it…

On February 26, 2014, I posted: “You know you live in the middle of nowhere if there are no Family Dollar or Dollar General stores near you…”-This should be self explanatory, but I was inspired to write this when looking at rural towns on the coast of Cameron Parish on Google Maps and even they had a Family Dollar or a Dollar General.

On February 10, 2014, I posted: “When the Weather Radio says ‘…making for a rather dismal day…’ It sounds like a British meteorologist wrote that line. I think their vocabulary and context are so neat.”-Maybe there was someone from Britian that was working for the National Weather Service around that time. I mean Americans don’t normally talk like that, right?

On January 30, 2014, I posted: “I was posting weather information on here WAY BEFORE doing so was “cool.””

On January 27, 2014, I posted: “Why do they say prostitution is the world’s oldest profession? Cain and Abel were farmers. I believe Adam and Eve were farmers as well.”-Got that information from The Bible.

On January, 24, 2014, I posted: “OK, I am NOT well round in football…BUT…I have an idea: Instead of calling the play of ultimate desperation a “Hail Mary” pass; call it the “Sinner’s Prayer” pass. Look up the Sinner’s Prayer and you will see why.”

On January 22, 2014, I posted: “Here’s something to think about: Locomotives and planes have an instrument that records data pertaining to their operation and functionality. It is known as a “black box.” What gets me is that the actual color of this object is safety orange. Anyone else think of that?”

On January 13, 2014, I posted: “A little scientific humor: Do law enforcement entities that encrypt their communications issue their officers flashlights with Krypton-filled bulbs?” Both encrypt and Krypton have a similar Greek root word “cryptos” which means hidden.

On March 25, 2013, I posted: “I know why it is UNUSUALLY COLD in Louisiana: Dick Cheney spoke somewhat in favor of gay marriage.”-I cracked pollitically charged jokes on Facebook in those days.

On February 23, 2013, I posted: “Me walking into the teacher’s louge ‘That’s one small step for a student, one giant leap for the student body.'”-I came up with this saying some time in 2001 and at the time of the post I was in a reminisicing mood.

On February 18, 2013, I posted: “Twilight takes place in a town called Fork. Lafourche is French for Fork. I wonder what webre would think if he had a daughter that married a vampire.”-Webre is the sherriff of Lafourche Parish, this is a Twilight joke, because Bella’s dad is the police chief of Fork, WA.

On February 17, 2013, I posted: “I belong to a secret society. We gather together every Thursday at 2:10 PM at an abandonned ranch and fellowship with this wise old man. He can tell your fortune by striking a live rattlesnake against a pile of railroad crossties.
Now if you believe that, I have some Tundra in South Louisiana I want to offer you.”-I was picking up commodities for my grandparents and said this earlier in the day, to freak out some old people.

On February 3, 2013, I posted: “If I was at the dome I would be showing off my flashlights.”-This happened during the Super Bowl in New Orleans when the power in the Dome went out.

On January 14, 2013, I posted: “Seriously, how can anyone find the life of a teenage mother entertaining…It’s those kind of TV programs that make me feel as if I am trapped in Fahrenheit 451.”-I always hated reality TV, especially the shows “Teen Mom” and “16 and Pregnant.”

On January 12, 2013, I posted: “You know what would be cool? If any of the former presidents decided to have an online business, such as eBay. The buyer would not have to pay any shipping charges since all ex presidents have free postage for the rest of their lives. This would especially be cool if they sold tactical military gear.”-This is just a very good idea.

On December 25, 2012, I posted: “Usually, Weather Radios do NOT work in trailers. Since these types of houses are VERY vulnerable to severe weather, there should be a supplemental broadcast system to get alerts to the occupants.”

On December 24, 2012, I posted: “Probably only in Louisiana does the ice cream man come on Christmas.”-Self explanatory.

On December 18, 2012, I posted: “A good drinking game: Take a shot of Whiskey everytime Charlie Brown says good grief!!”-I think the Charlie Brown Christmas Special was being shown on TV, so I thought of this joke.

On December 11, 2012, I posted: “Calibrating an old barometer is a tedious process!!”-I was at my grandparents all day that day, visiting them. The weather was sub par, so I took it upon myself to repair their decades old barometer. After much guesswork (and mobile data usage), I got the dial calibrated.

On December 8, 2012, I posted: “Is it me, or does the word doppelganger sound like Doppler RADAR?”-Self explanatory.

On December 3, 2012, I posted: “I like flashlights the same way Barney Stinson likes suits and ties!!”-How I Met Your Mother was a popular show at the time.

On December 1, 2012, I posted: “So…I just read that there might be unicorns in North Korea…IMHO The horns on those creatures are just nuclear missile which the world desparately needs to step in and defuse them.”-Almost 5 years later and North Korea is making even more threats with nuclear weapons.

On November 18, 2012, I posted: “I had my ticket in my hand and took a ride on the Twilight Limited. The ride lasted until the Break of Dawn.”-I had gone to the theater to see Breaking Dawn Part 2, and decided to make a train joke.

On November 15, 2012, I posted: “I think it is something else that the old school Amtrak locomotives were called Pepsi cans because of their color scheme. Now (and maybe back then too) they serve Pepsi on board to passengers. Coincidence?”-Self explanatory.

On November 3, 2012, I posted: “I was making some groceries at Rouse’s today. They had an island in the store with some Christmas toys. There was a train set with a Denver Rio Grande Locomotive. There actually was such a railroad company. In fact it merged with Southern Pacific in 1988.”-Self explanatory.

On October 18, 2012, I posted: “The Weather REALLY needs to take its medicine…It keeps having mood swings.”-The weather in late 2012 was very unpredicatable and hectic.

On October 17, 2012, I posted: “Found my old thermometer in my closet…Had a hell of a time calibrating it though.”-Self explanatory.

On October 3, 2012, I posted: “It would be awesome if I could ride on a passenger train and be served Frostop Root Beer”-I would also usually go into a Frostop with a $5 bill and buy a root beer with unlimited refills. It was only $1.80 something for the drink, but I would always tell them to keep the change.

AND: “Does anyone still use a dedicated GPS device for driving or is that so 2008?”-Smartphones began to become commonplace in 2012 (though I didn’t own one until 2015) and they began to replace several dedicated devices.

On September 27, 2012, I posted: “I wonder how Steve Irwin would react if he was alive to see the show Swamp People.”-Self explanatory.

On September 25, 2012, I posted: “What exactly is the function of Conjunction JCT and where is it located? I want to go there and watch all of the grammar trains. There are long haul run on trains and fragment local trains as well.”-A reference to “Schoolhouse Rock” and my train/writing interests.

On August 27, 2012, I posted: “OK Issaac make up your damn mind already.”-We had no idea where Issaac would make landfall, but it ended up making a direct hit on Southeast, Louisiana.

On June 23, 2012, I posted: “I’ve noticed something: My house is a natural barometer! There is some unstable weather on the horizon, but it has yet to affect my area. Even though it is not here yet, naturally that means there is going to be fluctuations in air pressure. The walls keep creaking and the wood keeps settling, which indicates the fluctuations in air pressure. Anyone else notice the same thing?”-I was living in an old wood frame single unit studio apartment at the time

On April 18, 2012, I posted: “Root beer should be served on passenger trains…A drink with some foam for all the foamers on board. And good Root Beer too, similar to that of Frost Stop would be nice.”-This came to me in a dream I had earlier in the year, but in the dream it was Birch Beer instead of Root Beer.

On March 22, 2012, I posted: “So; Rick Santorum wants to ban birth control. Let’s say that comes to pass. If a couple did NOT want to produce a child, all the man would have to do is sit in a bathtub of very hot water for a few minutes. It would kill all the sperm inside of him…I guess Rick Santorum would want to ban hot water heaters as well, right?”-While my pollitical views have changed since then, I was more bold about posting pollitically charged material on Facebook.

On March 21, 2012, I posted: “Well I was like a schoolboy today: Supposed to be writing at the library, but the train parked on the Raceland Siding caught my attention more. Spent the rest of the afternoon watching trains while listening to train crews and their dispatchers on my scanner.”-More interested in trains instead of getting my writing done.

On March 5, 2012, I posted: “One of the VERY FEW pleasant memories of saint mary’s nativity school was on days like today: The weather was nice, so the teacher would put the windows up. I could hear the whistles of trains passing by on the Sunset Route.”-Self explanatory.

At some point in February of 2012 is when I started attempting to use better grammar when posting anything to Facebook or any other social media. This is also probably when I started using proper grammar to text.

On January 27, 2012, I posted: “here is something i thought of the other day: i was born on January 2nd at Thibodaux General, but had severe complications and was rushed via ambulance to Ocshner in Jefferson…Cell phones were not as common in 1987 as they are today, so EMT’s had to have used their radios to talk to the hospital (much more than they do today)… so i wonder if anyone was listening to the medical frequencies (463/468 MHz or 155 MHz) on a scanner and heard about me…maybe they just received that scanner as a Christmas gift.”-Self explanatory.

On January 13, 2012, I posted: “Bella was 18 when she became an immortal vampire…Edward was only 17 when he became an immortal vampire…That means that in most states Bella will be commiting statutory rape for eternity, right?”-More Twilight humor.

On December 24, 2011, I posted: “Here I was thinking this would have been one of the best Christmases, I got the scanner I wanted and three Christmas dinners on Christmas Day. BUT This is one of the worst Christmases ever, I lost two people important to me, My Cousin Dud and my friend Mr. Earl. Just days before all of this happened I had my anti-depressants increased, but I think I will need another dosage increase.”

On December 21, 2011, I posted: “It’s the first day of winter and it’s hot and humid. I am sweating like a catholic priest at a little league game. Damn this Louisiana weather.”-Typical Louisiana weather. I also made more controversial posts back then.

On December 20, 2011, I posted: “last night while I was watching The Polar Express, I realized that one of the crew members on there, looked just like the infamous conductor Chip, on the Union Pacific Morgan City Local. He looked like an animated version of Chip, just with a long beard. Probably only the railfans on here will get this joke lol.”

On December 9, 2011, I posted: “So yesterday my paw paw said that he was going to a Hornets game. I told him “Paw Paw if you want to see hornets, just look at the side of your house!” Everyone who was in his house laughed because it sounded like one of the jokes he would crack…I know the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!!”-Those of you who know me and my family well would appreciate this post better than the rest.

On December 3, 2011, I posted: “while everyone is watching sports, i should be watching trains. There are no safe places in Raceland to watch trains. Damn this sucks.”

On December 1, 2011, I posted: “once again…damn this writer’s block. haven’t really been able to get into it.”

On December 1 , 2011, I posted: “Maglite Flashlights and Crossman Airguns. Are these the ONLY American-Made products sold at Wal-Mart anymore? Sam Walton is probably rolling around in his grave.”-Very few items at Wal-Mart are American made and it is still pretty much this way, almost 6 years later.

On October 10, 2011, I posted: “heard some interesting railroad communications on my scanner today…finally i understand what they are talking about.”

On September 23, 2011, I posted: “I’m Free!! Oh Lord, I’m Free.”

On September 22, 2011, I posted: “got my new EDC backpack just the way I want it…Yall just don’t understand how OCD I am about my backpack.”

On September 21, 2011, I posted: “my chains will be broken soon!! :-)”

On September 19, 2011, I posted: “am i at a crossing or just a siding switch in my life???”

On September 6, 2011, I posted: “Chipolte flavored peanuts and a Czech style pilsner good times”-Self explanatory.

On September 3 , 2011, I posted: “Got my flashlight arsenal in the war against darkness.”-Self explanatory.

On July 1, 2011, I posted: “got a $50 pair of shoes for $10 at Rack Room in the Esplanade Mall! What a bargain!! Also got a nice little angle head flashlight, from Perret’s Army Surplus. Such a good shopping experience in the city of Kenner.”-Self explanatory.

On May 24, 2011, I posted: “just finished writing i am sure some people will appreciate it. it it possible to fly a helicopter upside down with a beer in one hand and a cig in the other?”-Those in my immediate family will get this joke and laugh their butts off.

On December 29, 2010, I posted: “my mom found my swiss army knife that i lost while i was a senior in high school”-That knife had been missing for over four years.

On December 9, 2010, I posted: “goodbye to windows xp. i am now using unbuntu on my netbook.” That is when I gave up Windows for good and pretty much never looked back.

On July 27, 2010, I posted: “topamax should be known as dopamax i know its been said but it bears repeating”-It’s a great mood stabilizer and weight loss drug, but it lowers the brain function significantly.

On June 26, 2010, I posted: “I just saw Bubba and Dubya on TV in the same commercial. What is this world coming to?”-Clinton and Bush 2 were in a commercial asking for money to help those affected by the 2010 Haitian earthquake.

On August 15, 2009, I posted: “still trying to figure out facebook.”-As much as I enjoy technology, I take my time with it. I had signed up for Facebook shortly before posting this, but this was my first official post…

Eveready No. 1259-Part Three

School had just let out for Summer Vacation that very afternoon and I knew I was about to resume my work-study. So, I turned in all my books, placed my uniform shirt in my backpack and collected all of my personal items.

My science teacher saw me leaving the school building.

She was holding my old Eveready 1259 in her hand and stopped me saying, “Since you did so well in my class, I think you deserve this back. You’re very bright, but you need to be more serious during class time. You also need to watch your language.”

“Thanks.” I sheepishly told her. Little did she know that I had job security for years to come, despite being only sixteen. I initially wanted to tell her off, but I guess her giving me back the flashlight had caught me off guard. She didn’t know about my newer Eveready 1259 in my backpack and wasn’t going to find out.

My teacher then handed my flashlight to me and asked, “Were you serious about working with fuel tanks are were you just trying to be smart alleck?”

“I do work with fuel, but I am not allowed to say any more.”

“It’s illegal you know for someone your age to do that kind of work.”

“Trust me, it’s legal. I just cannot say anymore.”

“Whatever you say. Just be careful.”

I then quickly exited the school building. In just a few hours I had to walk to the helicopter terminal on the other side of town to be transported to the secret base. However, first I wanted to get some more batteries and bulbs for both of my Eveready 1259 flashlights. Therefore, I made a bee line for the supply house.

Finally I made it there.

As I walked through the door, the same salesman greeted me, “Hello young man, haven’t seen you in a while. Did you teacher take away your second flashlight too?”

“Nope. Actually she returned my original 1259 to me because she thought I did well in her class.”

“Wow, then teachers sure aren’t as strict as when I went to school. One time I brought my favorite Matchbox car to class and was playing with it on my desk. The teacher took it and I never saw it again.”

“That sucks.”

“Yes, but I never brought anything to school again, unless I needed it for class. Anyways, what brings you here?”

“I need more bulbs and batteries for these two flashlights. I would prefer some PR6 bulbs and as many Energizer Industrial D cells as possible.”

“I do have those, but why exactly do you need PR6 bulbs? They’re dim as all hell. And it’s not like you actually need your flashlight to be explosion proof, right?”

“But I definitely do need it to be explosion proof.”

“Come on, I know you can’t be eighteen yet, and that means you’re not allowed to work in a hazardous job. So why would you need an explosion proof flashlight?”

“That’s top secret, now I am on foot and have to get across town in a limited amount of time.”

“Okay, young man, whatever you say. Since you like explosion proof flashlights so much, might I interest you in a Pelican 1900? It’s explosion proof, brighter and much smaller. Plus it comes in different colors.”

“Let me see one, then maybe.”

The salesman showed me the display.

“It costs 12.50 for one Pelican 1900.”

“I’ll take it.”

“What color do you want, kid?”

“The neon green looks cool.”

“You’ll probably want replacement lamps, right?”

“Yes.”

“They’re $4.50 each.”

“Give me three.”

“That’s $13.50 in addition to your $12.50. And you’ll want replacement batteries. They are 18 cents each for the Energizer Industrials.”

“Give me eight of them.”

“That’s $1.44 in addition to $13.50 for the lamps and $12.50 for the Pelican 1900. Which comes out to $27.44 plus tax.”

 

“Great. I’ll take ’em.”

“Didn’t you want PR6 bulbs and Industrial Alkaline D batteries as well.?”

“You’re right.”

“The D cells are 95 cents apiece.”

“Give me six.”

“Okay that’s $5.70 in addition to $27.44 for your other stuff. And PR6 bulbs are $1.90 apiece if you want them as well.”

“Yes. Give me four of them.”

“All right that’s an additional $7.60 plus the $33.14 for everything else. If you don’t want to buy anything else, your subtotal is $40.74.”

“Okay, that’s fine.”

“That comes out to $44.20 after tax.”

“I pull out one of my two $50 bills and hand it to him.”

“You must either have rich parents or you work to have that kind of money.”

“I work.”

“Is that why you so desperately need your flashlights to be explosion proof?”

“I’ll neither confirm nor deny. Now I have to get across town quickly.”

He gives me the $5.80 back as change and hands me all of my merchandise. I then put all of it in my backpack and leave the supply house, looking at my watch.

The time indicates 1:20 or 13:20 if looking at the secondary numbers. I have to be at the heliport by 4:00 or 16:00, but it’s way on the other side of town and I’m on foot.

A female classmate sees me walking in the hot sun and offers me a ride.

I take it.

“Where are you heading?” She asks.

“The heliport.”

She gives me a puzzled look and then asks, “Why do you need to go there.”

“It’s for my job.”

She smiles and asks “Going work in the tanks, right.”

“Yes. You must have in that class.”

“That was totally cute how you showed off that flashlight with the lights off as we took notes.”

“Well thanks.”

“Actually, though, I think you’re just cute anyway.”

She leans over to kiss me. I blush.

 

“I didn’t realize you liked me.”

She smiled brightly and nodded her head.

“I wish we could do something this summer, but I’m going to be out of the country.”

“Is it for your secret job.”

“Yes.”

“Would you be able to call me?”

“Yes, once I put a SIM card in my phone that I get from the base. I have an international cell phone. If you see a strange looking number, it’s probably mine.”

“Okay, I’ll give you my cell and my parents’ house number.”

She calls them out and I put them in my GSM phone.

“Are you on AIM?” I ask her.

“Yes.”

I take a piece of my sales invoice and write my screen name on it and hand it to her. She dictates her screen name to me and I write it down.

Afterwards she holds my hand and drives me to the heliport.

As we are going there, I tell her, “I have a little bit of time and cash, so maybe I could take you to lunch.”

Her eyes light up and she nods.

“Where would you like to get me lunch?” She asks.

“Applebees.” I reply.

“Awesome!”

With that, we pull into the parking lot and are seated.

We order and are soon served our food.

Over the course of our meal, she asks, “What is so secret about your job anyway?”

“Well we develop products that could make other products obsolete. The owners of companies whose products become obsolete would want to kill us and destroy our workplaces. That’s why we are flown by helicopter, but the wherabouts of my jobs are totally unknwon to me. I’m sorry I cannot tell you anymore.”

“How did you get this job?”

“I was chosen by an online profiler who I guess thought I was smart and trustworthy.”

“I’m going to miss not seeing you.”

“But we can talk on the phone and online.”

“Yes, but that’s not the same as seeing you cute face.”

I blushed brightly and she giggled.

I looked at my watch. It was now 2:55 or 14:55 in secondary numbers.

“Do you have to leave now?”

“The helicopter leaves at 4 P.M., but I would like to be at the heliport sooner than that.”

“Can I stay until you board?”

“Sure. I would want you to.”

“You really would?”

“Of course. No one else ever paid attention to me like you do.”

“So you like me as well, then?”

“Yes. Yes I do.”

She kissed me again.

I paid for the meal and then we left.

As we were riding to the heliport, she asked me “Are you going to miss me?”

I nodded, then said “Terribly.”

“You’re so sweet.” She said and kissed me a third time.

We sat in her car and talked. Other student workers began to arrive. I held her hand and stayed in her car until I saw the helicopter land.

My watch indicated 3:58 or 15:58 in secondary numbers.

“I guess I have to go now. Can I kiss you this time?”

“Of course you can.”

We stared at each other, then closed our eyes and passionately kissed. I embraced her and kissed her once more, then walked out of her car with all my stuff.

She waved and blew me one final kiss as I boarded the helicopter. As it took off I could see her standing on the ground watching us leave…

Back to “A Teenage Student Worker and his Eveready No. 1259 Flashlight”