Here’s my first Christmas in July picture for July of 2021. Just for the record, I do not own this image and give credit to whomever credit is due. I picture a young man getting off of work early on Christmas Eve. He then walks to his girlfriend’s house and they subsequently go for a walk, cherishing their time together. They are so much in love and likewise show their affections in front of everyone. One older woman, let’s call her Karen, threatens to call the police on them for what she deems as lewd conduct. So they walk away from her but she follows them. Karen follows them into a coffee shop and continues heckling them until the workers kick her out. The young man then thanks the workers and buys himself and his girlfriend some spice cookies and hot chocolate. They eat and drink happily. The establishment is frequented by many writers all of whom are inspired by what they saw. Many ideas are exchanged and this goes on until closing time. They then head back to her house and exchange many kisses beneath the glow of the street lamp. The young lady then tells her boyfriend to come back bright and early tomorrow morning. They exchange several more kisses and then those three little words. Afterwards, she goes inside and he walks home…
Category: Humor
Thoughts and Humor on Communism and Government Subsidized Housing
So, since the Spring of 2020, I had begun to liken the apartment complex in which I currently reside as I am writing this piece to a Communist or Soviet State. I have also begun to create jokes about the complex I formerly resided in with my then, now ex-wife. I do this only in jest and mean no harm or malice of it, whatsoever. Those of you who know me in person, know very well that I am immensely grateful that I have a safe and affordable place of my own. They also know that I feel a strong sense of community with my complex and my fellow tenants. They have become closer than my biological family, literally! Many of them are also part of my Blood Washed Heavenly Family, praise God! If I ever move out and purchase a home of my own, I want it to be near this complex so I can still visit everybody daily!
I don’t go public with my political humor too much, but I think one will appreciate the complexity that it took for me to come up with these jokes and how I was inspired to create them.
I have so far lived in two subsidized apartment complexes because as of now, the amount I get from my disability pension cannot cover most market-rate rent prices in addition to my other necessary living expenses. I truly believe that it is personal greed that is driving up the cost of housing and it is also what makes Communism or Socialism appear so attractive to many people within my age group. Some folks my age have to work two and three jobs just to make rent. Anyone that can think should be able to see why so many young people are angry about this. I mean, so many people are working their best years away at jobs for which they are overqualified and underpaid and therefore have little to nothing to show for it. They also have little time to no time to do what they enjoy. Such an existence is unbearably miserable. Such an existence turns citizens into serfs and even borderline slaves. Such an existence makes Communism and/or Socialism look relieving, refreshing, and even prosperous!
Now, for every record, I am certainly not advocating Communism or Socialism, but I do believe there should be access to affordable housing for everyone. Home ownership for all or at least much more than currently would be nice as well. Unfettered Capitalism does stand in the way of these desires tremendously. That is a fact! Unfettered Capitalism can and will eventually bring back the feudal system. People in my age group are afraid of this because they will lose even more.
Still, I don’t think that the have-nots ought to use lethal or even brutal force to take what they want or even need away from the haves, which in essence is Communism and also some strains of Socialism. I am neither condoning nor endorsing anyone who suggests taking what is not rightfully theirs, whether in reality or just morally, by force. There are more peaceful and, yes, even godly alternatives. We need cooperation and compromise from both sides. We most of all need both sides to help each other and to understand each other. Wicked people in high places want the exact opposite though. These wicked people want to incite a class war and race war and war, in general, to overthrow what is currently in place and establish the most oppressive government ever. It will be even worse than the darkest, bleakest dystopian novel ever written.
My biggest complaint about Communism and Socialism is that in many aspects and executions of the two, they are in direct conflict with my Christian Faith! My next biggest complaint about Communism and Socialism is that they have failed almost every time they were implemented and in places where they still succeed is only due to outside Capitalist influence and support. I believe with all my heart that my biggest complaint about these nefarious economic policies is the cause of my second biggest complaint about them.
And government-subsidized housing is indeed a Socialist policy/practice, but it helps millions of people tremendously, myself included.
Still, there are certain aspects of government-subsidized housing, that make it only attractive to those who have no other choices.
So I began to make jokes about how the apartment complexes in which I resided were like miniature Communist countries.
Let me back up to July of 2017. As some of you who have followed me on social media for a lengthy amount of time, you will know that I frequently poke fun at the Dollar General chain of retailers by referring to it as “The Ruble General.” I came up with this joke while wanting to make some groceries for my dinner. I specifically wanted some pickled beets to have as a side dish. So I drove to the local Dollar General hoping to find a can or jar of pickled beets. There were none. Not only that, the said store was out of several other grocery items of which I had intended to purchase. Then there were long lines and cluttered aisles. So I got back to my then friend’s house and posted to Facebook how I thought the Dollar General should be called The Ruble General because shopping there is very similar to shopping in the Former Soviet Union and/or all of the Sattelite States. I had been listening to NPR all afternoon, that day and there’s something about NPR that fuels my creativity. For those of you who didn’t know, the Ruble was the official unit of currency for The Soviet Union. The Ruble was to the USSR what the Dollar is to The USA and various other sovereign states. So, it has become one of my trademark jokes to refer to The Dollar General as The Ruble General.
Well, my back is starting to hurt, so I just took a muscle relaxer and chased it with some ginger ale. In the recent weeks and months, my lower back pain has been getting worse, so I sought medical attention for it, after being in tremendous pain while doing a task as simple as reformatting my neighbor’s laptop. Therefore, my physician prescribed me a muscle relaxer known as Baclofen. I’m too afraid to take anything stronger, or something with narcotic properties nor do I think I need such a pill, to begin with. I’ve seen how pain pills ruin lives and cause more problems than they solve. Therefore, I shall avoid them for as long as I can. My two favorite activities are going to church and writing. And sadly it is during those two activities that my back pain acts up the worst.
So, moving on, I will also admit that I have a fascination with and even an admiration for the Polish electrician turned politician, ultimately the first president of Post-communist Poland, namely, Lech Walesa. I truly believe he is an honest man, a family man, and an ethical man. I had first learned about him during my Sophomore year of high school while reading ahead in my World Geography book. I read about how his Solidarity campaign brought down Communism in Poland and eventually contributed to the entire collapse of the USSR! Like any good man, there will be those opposed to him and try to ruin his name, but I don’t believe the lies said about him. What is amazing is that his motives behind starting Solidarity were to be able to feed his family. He was a hardworking marine electrician who loved his wife and children and likely did his best to provide for them. Therefore, he was infuriated by the rising food prices in Poland that a worker’s wages did not keep up with. See, Communism did not and does not solve this inflation problem! Likely, inflation is inherent to all economic systems. So, he positively channeled his fury and frustrations and started what would become Solidarity on the grounds of the shipyard at which he was employed. All in all, I had partially forgotten about him after I completed World Geography and turned in my textbook. But then in my very early thirties, I began to read more extensively about him, through online sources. There were pictures of the insides of the apartments in which he resided. I was quite amused when I observed how the living room of one of his residences was strikingly similar to the living room of the apartment that I shared with my then-wife, now ex-wife. By the way, Lech Walesa is still happily married and his strong marriage puts my faulty former marriage to shame by a factor of about (6^6)! Just so you know I chose the number 6 because he is about 6 years older than his wife and I am the same age as my now ex-wife. One thing I have since learned about relationships is that couples with an age difference get along much better than couples who are very close in age. Case in point, Donald Trump is about twenty-four years older than his current wife and say what you want about him, but they appear to have a very solid marriage and they are raising a brilliant son! I could go on about this, but there are more important matters to cover in this piece. I may, someday, write more extensively about how couples with an age difference get along better than couples without an age difference. By the way, it doesn’t matter if the man or woman is older, I’ve observed happy and solid relationships in both scenarios.
And look at that, I’m just realizing my back has stopped hurting! This Baclofen treatment does indeed work, God be praised!
It was late one evening in the Spring of 2020, that inspirations for my jokes of referring to my apartment complex as a miniature Communist country started to develop. I was doing laundry in the laundromat and was also listening to a new portable scanner, which I had recently purchased. It is the entry-level Whistler handheld model, the WS1010. It is a far descendant of the Radio Shack Pro-32. I had also installed a high performance, multi-band antenna on it, in hopes to pull in signals better than the pathetic stock antenna. On that evening, I was particularly interested in trying to see if there was any traffic on a certain VHF Low Band frequency that was licensed to the Waterford 3 Nuclear Power Plant. Granted, it is located about fifty miles from where I was, but I am very much aware of how VHF Low Band Signals travel quite farther than their higher frequency counterparts. The frequency I had in my scanner, by the way, was 37.46 MHz. It was assigned to Entergy for use at the aforementioned power plant, but I just checked the FCC records a few minutes ago and couldn’t find it. And I ashamedly admit that I failed to maintain a Christian vocabulary when I couldn’t find it. All in all, I was trying to see if I could hear any traffic on that frequency during that Spring evening. There was none. However, my mind wanders at times and when it does, it sometimes brings forth creativity. The such happened on that evening. I began thinking of the fact that I was trying to listen in on the operations of a nuclear power plant. A younger me would have associated this with The Simpsons, but my current (age 28 to present) self began to think about Chernobyl instead. I pondered extensively about it. Then I began to realize how this apartment complex in which I reside does indeed have some very Soviet qualities. At some point, I had decided to scan other channels in that scanner and picked up a signal from The Feds, but it was sadly encrypted, or at the very least encoded, and the scanner I was using is an analog-only model. But the thoughts of how I feel like I am living in a Communist country, albeit a very benevolent one, while I am in this complex began to multiply. They brewed for a few months. At some point in very late August or early September, I began to refer to my apartment complex as: “The People’s Republic of [insert complex name here.]” I won’t say the name of my complex on this blog, because of my safety. And also for the safety of my neighbors.
I was driving a friend around and had to stop by my apartment to pick up something and he commented on how the buildings in the complex do appear very Soviet. I don’t see how, but to a degree, I trust his judgment. Although, I think he may be confusing Soviet architecture with 1980s architecture in general. Of course, there were numerous housing projects constructed in the Soviet Union during the early 1980s. All in all, I ask my Christian friends to pray fervently for his salvation. He is highly intelligent on diverse subjects and equally skilled in many things that which I value. In fact, he too, for most of his working life was a marine electrician just like Lech Walesa, but also was employed in road construction, as a freight train conductor and most recently, a corporate chauffeur. He holds the highest amateur radio license there is, can build complicated antenna systems and is an avid model railroader. He is one of my biggest supporters as far as my creativity goes, he laughs at my jokes more than anyone else and also more than anyone else, aside from The Lord Himself, has helped me tremendously whilst I was going through a divorce. However, he lacks what is most important of all, namely: Jesus Christ. His lack of Christ and flat-out refusal to come to Him is starting to cause issues in my spiritual life. If that weren’t bad enough, he either shuts down and lately has become hostile when I talk about my faith. If it gets any worse, I am going to have to make a choice between him and Christ, and I know I must needs choose Christ.
Because of the highly unreliable nature of our complex’s laundry equipment, these machines frequently eat our money. This is overwhelmingly frustrating, especially since the majority of us living here are indeed on government pensions and therefore our incomes are limited. I made a joke out of it by saying, “Oh well, the laundry machines are eating our money again, I must inform the Politburo at once!” From those of whom I was brave enough to tell that joke, I received plenty of laughs. Politburo is an Anglicized spelling of a Slavic portmanteau of the words, Political Bureau. Certain Slavic words are amazingly similar to English words and my theory behind that is much of modern English has words that are derived from Greek and Latin, as do Slavic languages. So, every Communist state has a Politburo. Actually, the phrase of “…must inform the Politburo…” is from Goldeneye when MI6 agent James Bond meets with Soviet Defence Minister Dimitri Minshkin in the Saint Petersburg National Archives about General Arkady Orumov indeed being a traitor to the USSR, and which Minshkin tells Bond of how he “must inform the Politburo.” Well, Goldeneye is one of my favorite movies, and the video game, namely for the Nintendo 64 console is my all time favorite video game. By the way, I’m highly amused on how my Ruger LCP II appears quite similar in appearance to James Bond’s PP7 or Walther PPK, depending on the movie or video game, and has the same ammunition capacity, assuming one is using a standard magazine clip. My next gun will hopefully be a Ruger LCR in .38 Special! By the way, speaking of firearms, the overwhelming majority of Communist countries and also countries with significant Socialist tendencies are notorious for flat out banning the civilian ownership of firearms. There are wicked people here in The States that have this nefarious practice in their agenda, too, I won’t lie.
My back pain is slightly coming back. If it gets worse, I will take another Baclofen and likely once again, chase it with some ginger ale. It may not seem like I have written much in this piece and, it’s true, I haven’t, but it is taking me the course of several hours to get this piece done. It was actually in the neighborhood of about two hours ago that I took my last Balclofen and it was over twenty-four hours previous to that when I took the one prior. I’m allowed to take three pills in a twenty-four-hour period and as of now, that is more than enough.
So I ended up taking another Baclofen because the back pain was getting slightly more than I could bear and I do want to get this piece finished. And, yes I chased it with some ginger ale. I like both Schweppes and Canada Dry, by the way. I will admit that I was afflicted with a mild case of Covid in late July and early August of 2020. But because of prayers most of all and but also highly aggressive treatment, I survived and am back to normal save coughing a little more than I used to do! Yes, God be praised, indeed! Before this bout with Covid, I drank Wild Cherry Pepsi, those of you who have been reading this blog since the earlier days and those of you who follow me on social media are very well aware of this. However, during my quarantine, a family member delivered me some groceries, one of them was a case or two of ginger ale and I have since been hooked on it. Ginger ale is indeed an acquired taste, but once acquired it is a very refreshing soft drink! I suppose I could write more about my experiences with Covid, but if I do, that piece will trump this piece in terms of controversy and I don’t think the world is ready for it! Anyway, I’m just waiting for this Baclofen to kick in and do its wonders so I can focus on concluding this piece.
Durnit, my back is still very tight at the moment, but I am going to try and press on.
So our complex has its own sewerage treatment plant. Those who live in closer proximity to it, are subjected to the highly offensive odor of Hydrogen Sulfide. I’m not sure as to why but as of lately that smell has been very present in the complex. If that weren’t enough, a day or two ago, an alarm was incessantly blaring at the sewerage treatment plant. I won’t pretend to know why our sewerage plant has an alarm. I know little to nothing about it, actually. A younger me would be fascinated by it and would naturally want to check it out, but my current self doesn’t want to be accused of tampering with it and risking eviction. All in all, I decided to make a joke, which went along the lines of, “Oh no, our sewer plant has been infiltrated, I need to contact the Politburo about this at once!” Those whom I told this joke to in person were in hysterics. I could have elaborated more on that by claiming that the sewerage treatment plant was infiltrated by either a spy, the special forces unit of an opposing state, or insurgents and if the alarm goes off again, I just might elaborate more!
The only hint I will give about my complex is that a Dollar General is situated right next to it. Dollar General is known for setting up its stores in low-income areas. I could write some jokes just about that, but, when one gets to thinking about it, they’re not funny. They would, in essence, be making light of the fact that a greedy corporate giant taking advantage of the vulnerable and impoverished, all to turn a greater profit. In reality, I don’t have any complaints about this particular Dollar General and I shop there almost every day. I’m sure all of the workers know me and I would hope they would find me to be a friendly and respectful customer. Well, around the same time, the alarm for the sewer was going off, the transformer that is dedicated to electrical service for the Dollar General next door had malfunctioned and the store was without power for about a day. Of course, this was gold material for my type of humor and I started cracking jokes along these lines, “Well, The Ruble General that serves The People’s Republic of [insert complex name here] has experienced a power cut and now we the people cannot buy groceries or supplies. Can the Politburo do anything about this?” As part of CYB purposes, the management at this Dollar General disposed of all frozen and/or perishable foods that could have spoiled due to a lack of adequate refrigeration. I personally know of people who took those foods from the trash bin and I praise God that they were able to get some food for free and that it didn’t go to waste. This sadly happens a lot more in a truly Communist country such as Venezuela and I won’t make light of it, because it’s not funny. Guess what, though: Communism does not solve the ills of humanity! Many times, it only exacerbates them, and I believe this is so because it attempts to remove God from anything and everything. The Bible says, though, “God is not mocked.” By the way for those of you who are curious, that statement is made in Galatians 6:7, and yes I am taking it out of context, but the statement is still very true, regardless. And, yes, I spent a good deal of this piece mocking Communism but in the earlier parts, I pointed out why it is becoming popular again. I’d like to think though, that I also pointed you, the reader, towards God, through Christ.
We are more divided than ever and instead of cooperating and compromising, we want to kill or at least maim each and all those who are diverse from ourselves. Who can solve this mess we’re in? Only one, of course: Jesus Christ! Whether you like it or not! But, consider following Him and if you do, you shall not be disappointed!
Yes, I know this piece is more controversial than what you, the reader, are used to when you read my blog and I apologize if you have been offended. If you were indeed offended, at least I made you think, right? Maybe even provoked the types of thought that bring forth growth? However, if you, got any laughs at all from this piece, then kudos to you, and thank you. Most of those with whom I shared these jokes in real life were laughing quite a bit.
I hope to continue posting material for my blog, and I know I haven’t been posting as frequently as I ought to, but I’ve just been busy forming communal bonds with people in real life. But I do appreciate each one of you that reads my work!
My Baclofen hasn’t kicked in yet and I realize it is getting near 3:00 AM in my part of the world as I write this, so I need to take other medications as well. Actually, it is now closer to 4:00 AM after editing and fine-tuning my grammar. Likely it will be near 5:00 AM by the time I post this piece!
I think, though, I have gotten my point across nicely and I sincerely hope that you, the reader, have been informed as well as entertained.
May God richly bless you!
Donald John Trump: A Polarizing Figure
This is something I’ve noticed for years, but finally, I think the time is right to post what I see going on:
By the way, I have no agenda to push, I have no narrative to forward nor am I trying to sway anyone’s political views.
This is simply a casual observation of mine.
For the record, I am a fierce Moderate.
This means I am neither a Democrat nor a Republican, but my one-man party takes what I perceive as the good from both Democrats and Republicans, alike, and rejects what I perceive as the garbage from those two parties.
Without further ado, here I go:
It’s no secret, Donald Trump is a very polarizing figure.
He is someone whom you either revile or draw inspiration from.
There really isn’t any in between.
By the way, it has been like this for him long before he got into politics.
I’ll give examples of how he is both reviled, yet inspiring:
First, I’ll point out how he is reviled:
I have noticed that Hollywood for years has been hating on Donald Trump.
These years date long before he decided to get into politics.
The biggest example I can think of is back in 1990 when NBC aired a made for television movie known as, “The Great Los Angeles Earthquake.” I first saw this movie in 2008 when I purchased it on DVD. My ex-wife now, unfortunately, has that DVD, but she can keep it. I’m glad to part with it and all my other stuff she got when we split up if it means I don’t have to interact with her.
It is one of my favorite movies, actually, because, I think Los Angeles is a really neat city and would very much like to visit it one day, but also I like the movie for several other reasons: One of my favorite flashlights ever made has a cameo in that movie, the Eveready Commander No. 5122. There is footage of the now defunct railroad Southern Pacific, which is my favorite former railroad. Also, I am highly interested in technology from the late 1980s and early 1990s and there is a good bit of the then current computer, cellular phone and other technologies featured in that movie. I also like seeing all of the now vintage cars and trucks in that movie.
The arch villain in that said movie, Wendell Kaetes, or however his name is spelled, I believe is heavily inspired by Donald Trump. I mean, he resembles Trump physically. He is a real estate developer. He is a shrewd businessman with a quick temper. And there is a line in the movie where he is referred to as “The Donald Trump of the West Coast.” He meets his demise by falling out of his office window of the high rise building he owns when one of the quakes occur. The character has Donald Trump written all over it.
While Hollywood may be hating on him, other entities draw on him for inspiration.
This too has been going on long before he got into politics.
The biggest example I can find is in the Radio Shack Catalogs.
By the way, I do not own the featured image on this page, Radio Shack does-it is straight from their 1996 catalog.
From 1996 until 2001, in order to sell Business Band radios, Radio Shack featured a picture that entailed a businessman in a suit and tie supervising a construction project and giving out commands over a Radio Shack Business Band radio. The model in the suit and tie is obviously a reference to Donald Trump, which I would have never realized had I not seen that aforementioned movie. On one side of him there is a black lady holding the building plans and on the other side, there is a hispanic man going over a checklist. The ironic part is that these two models on the sides of him come from ethnicities of people whom the media vehemently tries to put Donald Trump at odds with.
The reason why I say that the model in the suit and tie is an obvious reference to Donald Trump is that he definitely resembles him physically, he is in charge of a construction project. He appears to be barking orders over the radio. And he is dressed like a businessman. If he isn’t the owner of the construction project going on, he is likely an executive in charge of it.
So, basically, my theory is Radio Shack likely capitalized on Trump’s image and likeness in order to sell their rebadged Motorola and other manufacturer’s Business Band radios.
I’m not sure of their success though, because I don’t have access to their sales data.
For whatever reason though, in about 2004 or 2005, Radio Shack quit selling Business Band radios and this was a huge mistake in my opinion.
This mistake probably was a factor in them going under in the mid to late 2010s.
My biggest question behind all of this is:
Has anyone else noticed these things or am I the only one?
By the way, prior to me watching that earthquake movie, the only time I had ever heard of Donald Trump was on the rapper Nelly’s album Country Grammar. This may come as a shock to just about all of you and I’ve only realized it in the past few minutes, but the lyrics in that said album subconsciously inspired parts of my infamous “Grocer and Writer” stories!
If there is anything to be learned from all of this it is that controversy sells and the juicier any content is, the more profitable it becomes…
As a writer, I am well aware of this, though I have yet to earn a single red cent on anything I’ve written. However, when I write something controversial, I know that is what attracts my readers more than anything else.
I hope, you, the reader, find me informative and entertaining…
A Day at My Grandparents’
This is my first attempt at writing a children’s book.
It is heavily based on my childhood and told from the perspective of me at age five, which would mean it takes place in the year 1992.
I initially wrote most of it in the Summer of 2016, but recently did some editing and now I feel as if I’m ready to share it with the world.
Without further ado, here we go:
I arrive at my grandparents’ house and they welcome me with open arms.
My grandma offers me breakfast: oatmeal with hot syrup.
My grandpa sits at the table with me.
Suddenly he sneezes very loudly, “HYEH-HOO!” My grandma jumps out of fright. I just laugh. She then gives him a dirty look and he rubs my head. I finish eating my breakfast and then look out the front door. The mail truck is coming in the distance. I watch. Finally, it is near my grandparents’ mailbox and the mailman puts several letters in.
“I’m going get the mail,” My grandpa says.
“Our Social Security checks should be in today, honey.” My grandma replies.
We walk to the mailbox and my grandpa picks up the mail then we walk back to the house.
“Yes, our checks are in. I’ll go to the bank and cash them,” He says, handing her the rest of the mail.
My grandma opens the envelopes, signs her check then says, “After that go to the hardware store and get a new light fixture for the utility room. ”
I look at my grandpa and ask “Can I come with you?”
“Sure,” He replies.
“Get our medicine from the drug store too, honey,”
“Yes, ma’am.” He answers.
My grandma gives him another dirty look.
We then walk to his old truck and he starts it. The engine makes a loud noise and then we take off.
As we are driving down the road there is a car in front of us going super slow. My grandpa blows his horn and shouts, “Come on you turtle!”
I laugh.
“If your grandma saw me acting like that she would fuss, so don’t tell her what I just did.”
I nod my head and grin.
We go through the drive up window at the bank. My grandpa signs his check and also hands my grandma’s check to the teller. She then hands him a lot of money, then she also gives me some candy.
My grandpa leaves the bank and I eat. “Don’t tell your grandma I let you have candy,” He tells me.
I motion as if I am zipping my lips and he smiles.
We arrive at the hardware store and my grandpa parks his truck. We walk through the store and into the electrical department. I stare at all the lights on display.
“How is this one?” He asks.
“It looks cool to me,” I reply, then continue “Could I help you put it up?”
“Sure!” My grandpa replies, “I do need a helper and you’re perfect for the job.”
My grandpa picks up the light, still in its package and then we walk to the counter.
He pays the check out lady.
She prints some papers and hands them and the light to my grandpa, then we leave the store.
We get back in his truck. He starts it and the engine makes that loud noise again. I laugh.
“One day, when I am really old, this will be your truck, E.J.”
“Awesome!” I say.
We then drive to the drug store, then enter and both sit on a stool at the counter while the pharmacist gets the medicine.
She tells him the price and he hands her the cash.
“Boy, thank God for Medicare!” My grandpa tells her as he is handed several bags.
“What’s Medicare?” I ask.
“Something for old people like me and your grandma,” He replies.
Another old man walks up to my grandpa and they begin talking in French. I’m puzzled because I don’t know what they’re saying.
I look at my grandpa, point to the old man and ask, “Who’s that?”
“E. J., that’s Mister Cecil. We worked together at the factory.”
Mister Cecil looks at me and says “Your grandpa told us many jokes and made us laugh during those long shifts.”
“He makes me laugh too. What was his job at the factory?”
“He loaded the syrup we made into railroad cars and I was in charge of the piping system,” Mister Cecil replies.
“That’s awesome!” I say.
“We’d still be working there if it wasn’t for the factory closing,” My grandpa says.
“Well, you know durn good and well there were some dirty dealings going on,” Mister Cecil adds in.
“Yeah, but that was way beyond our control,” My grandpa answers.
They go back to talking in French for a while then finally shake hands and Mister Cecil leaves.
My grandpa and I leave the drug store as well.
He starts his truck and the engine makes that loud sound again.
We both laugh.
We head back to the house, then walk through the door.
We walk into the utility room and my grandpa opens the door to the broom closet. He gets his flashlight and tools out, then goes to the fuse box and turns off the electricity.
“Safety first-remember that, E.J.!” He tells me.
I nod and smile.
The house is dark, so he turns his flashlight on.
He takes a chair from the kitchen and brings it to the utility room. He then stands on top of it under the old light fixture.
My grandpa hands me his flashlight and says “E. J., shine me some light.”
I shine it at the fixture.
He then says, handing me his pocket knife, “E. J. cut the box open.”
“I don’t want E. J. handling a knife, he’s too young!” My grandma shouts.
“Aw, shucks! I’m old enough!” I say.
“No your grandma is right, E. J. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. I just forget how young you are sometimes,” He pauses then says, “I’ll open it.”
He cuts through the package and takes out the new light, along with the wire nuts and fasteners.
“Now keep shining that flashlight E. J. and get me a screwdriver and cutting pliers.”
I hand him the tools. The old fixture soon comes down and grandpa puts the new one up. My grandpa then pulls the switch cord.
“All done!” He says, “Now shine some light on the fuse box, E. J.”
I shine it and he turns the electricity back on. The new fixture lights up the utility room brightly.
“Now turn my flashlight off E. J.”
Reluctantly I turn it off and say, “Aw shucks.”
“Now, E.J., I need to conserve the battery. You never know when a big storm will come.”
“I guess you’re right grandpa. I just think your flashlight is so cool!”
My grandpa looks at my grandma and says, “Now, hopefully, the next time that fixture needs to be replaced E. J. will be a grown man and he can do it for us.”
“He better finish college first,” My grandma says sternly, then continues, “Since the power is back on, I’m going to watch my stories while I do some cooking and sewing.”
“Well I’m going work in the garden,” My grandpa says.
“I’m coming with you,” I tell him.
We pick green beans, corn, okra, and tomatoes until I see a raccoon coming into the garden.
“Look, grandpa, a raccoon.”
“E. J., get inside right now!” My grandpa says with urgency.
I go, but watch and listen through the screen door.
My grandpa chases the raccoon clapping his hands several times while stomping his foot and shouting “Get. Gone. Get outta here.” The dog begins to bark. Finally, the raccoon runs away. I laugh until my sides ache.
“All right E. J. you can come back now,” He says, then continues “Never go near a raccoon, they’re vicious and they carry rabies.”
I nod and keep a sharp eye looking for more raccoons. Thankfully no more show up.
My grandpa continues working in his garden until we hear my grandma shout, “Dinner’s ready.”
We walk back to the house.
“What are we having?” I ask.
“Green beans and potatoes.” My grandma answers.
“Yuck!” I say.
“Well if you don’t want that, you can have a can of Vienna Sausage,” My grandpa answers.
My grandma gives my grandpa a pair of eyes.
“What the matter now, honey?” He asks her.
“You should know very well that Vienna Sausage isn’t good for him,” She answers.
“Oh, doggone it, let him enjoy that whiles he’s young. He won’t be able to eat that kind of stuff when he’s old like us.”
“I guess, honey. But you know his parents want him to eat healthy food,” She replies.
“We don’t have to tell them about it. Besides what will one little can hurt?” My grandpa says as he opens the can and hands the sausages to me.
We all sit down to eat.
My grandparents take their medicines during dinner. They pop several pills and wash them down with Royal Crown Cola.
I drink Cherry Kool-Aid to wash down my Vienna Sausages.
“One day I want you to try green beans, though, E.J. They taste good and they’re good for you,” My grandpa says.
“Okay, I’ll try them one day when I am all grown up.”
My grandma says, “Hopefully before then.”
“Better late than never.” My grandpa says.
After we eat my grandpa takes me in his truck and we ride through the fields. He checks his cattle and the fencing around the property.
He works on the fence and I watch until the sun begins to set. We then head back to the house.
We walk up the back porch and into the door. My grandpa washes his hands in the kitchen sink, then shakes them dry. I stand on a chair and do the same.
“E.J., use a towel instead.” My grandma says with irritation.
My grandpa then begins to scratch his back on the doorpost.
I smile, then go across the room and scratch my back on the other doorpost.
My grandpa then lets out a loud sneeze, “HYEH-HOO!”
I laugh, then say, “I’m going to sneeze like that too from now on!”
My grandma says angrily at me “Don’t you dare E.J.!” She then looks at my grandpa and says, “You see that honey, E. J. is picking up all of your bad habits.”
“That’s because he’s my flesh and blood,” My grandpa answers proudly.
“But he starts school in a few weeks and we can’t have him acting like that in the classroom.”
My grandpa pokes his tongue at my grandma and then asks, “What’s for supper?”
“Homemade bread and coffee. But E.J. will have hot milk instead, we can’t have him up all hours of the night. So, don’t give him any.”
“Yes, ma’am!” My grandpa answers her.
“Aw shucks,” I say.
She gives him a dirty look, then we eat. My grandparents take their nighttime medication.
After supper, we watch the television for a little while.
The news is on.
Suddenly we hear the dog barking and the cows mooing incessantly.
My grandpa retrieves his flashlight and turns it on.
“I’m going see what’s going on outside,” My grandpa says.
“I want to go too and see grandpa’s flashlight light up the night.”
“No, E. J. you need to get to bed,” My grandma says.
“Aw shucks!” I reply.
“Now, E.J.!” My grandma orders.
My grandpa goes outside. I hear his truck start up, then reluctantly I go lay down in the spare bedroom and soon fall asleep.
I guess I’ve been asleep for a while, but then, suddenly I’m woken up by the screen door opening and shutting. Then I hear a loud “HYEH-HOO!” I laugh to myself and realize that my grandpa is back.
I get out of bed and walk into the living room.
“What happened outside?” I ask.
“One of my heifers got stuck in the barbed wire fence.”
I see him picking up his flashlight and then ask, “Could I play with it for a little while?”
“Sure.” He says.
“Yes!” I reply.
I shine it all over the room, on walls, windows and pictures then I notice some writing on the flashlight. I ask my grandpa “What does it say on the sides?”
“Eveready Commander.” He replies. “Eveready is the company and Commander is the model of the flashlight.”
“What does N o dot five one two two mean?”
“The No. means number which is fifty-one twenty-two.”
“What does it say below that?”
“Made in Hong Kong. That’s the city in China, where this flashlight was made.”
“Where’s that?”
“On the other side of the world. And, you know while it’s nighttime here, it’s daytime over there.”
“Cool!”
“And what does it say on the left back side?” I ask.
“Union Carbide-that’s the company that owned Eveready when this flashlight was made. And below it says New York, NY. In other words New York City in New York State. That’s where one of Union Carbide’s offices were located. The 5 numbers, one zero zero one seven is the zip code for that part of New York City,” My grandpa replies.
“Cool!”
My grandpa then looks at my grandma and says “You see that, honey, I’m teaching E.J. geography and how to read.”
“Teach him tomorrow; he needs to be in bed at this hour.” My grandma says.
I hang my head in disappointment.
My grandpa looks at me and says “Tell you what, if you go to sleep right now, you can have my flashlight. I worked many night shifts with it, loading syrup into tank cars, but it’s yours now. I’ll just buy a new one at the hardware store tomorrow.”
“You really mean it, grandpa?” I ask.
“Sure, so why don’t you get to bed.” He says.
“All right,” I reply, happily.
“You better not take it with you to school or your teacher will take it away.” My grandma interjects.
“Yes, that’s right. And we don’t want that to happen.” My grandpa replies.
I begin to get sleepy and they both hug me good night and I walk to my bed. Soon, I am fast asleep…
ASDF Movie Questions and Speculations
Since about 2011, I have been a fan of the ASDF Movies.
I had seen some kids watching them and when I saw the “I Like Trains Kid” character, I could only think to myself and eventually be public about it, “No fair, I liked trains before it was cool to even like trains.”
I even commented that on YouTube.
Of course, then someone called me a “hipster.”
Anyway, I could still watch these ASDF Movies over and over again and laugh myself silly.
At some point in 2014, someone whom I will refer to as my “bestest buddy” and myself wrote down most of these questions and speculations we came up with about some of the characters in the said cartoon.
Here they are without further ado:
Desmond the Moon Bear:
He was sent him to the moon because he was very smart and knew how to speak English. Since he spoke English, he was launched into space by the USA and not the USSR/CCCP. His memories of being in the rockets were probably wiped out somehow.
The Girl Who Wanted to go to the Moon:
We thought she would miss the moon and/or other planets but went into the sun and burned up. She might not have made it through Earth’s atmosphere and fell back down. Then we wondered if the moon talked to her like he talked to the couple on the hill when he wanted them to kiss. This could be why she and Desmond never met. Also, when she was leaving the earth did he talk to her like he told goodbye to the guy who blew his brains out?
Stegosaurus and The Mine Turtle:
How did the stegosaurs learn how to speak English to the guy who traveled back in time? How does the stegosaurus step on the mine turtle and survive?
The I Like Trains Kid (my personal favorite):
Does the train just hurt whom the I Like Trains Kid wants to hit or does it hurt everyone nearby? Does he have some kind of power to guide the train to his target? Does he get hit? In one scene he does get it, or at least it looks like it. Maybe it is because he had no target that time. If only I myself had the power to summon a train simply by saying, “I Like Trains.” Of course, I wouldn’t use the train as a weapon, unless my life or the life of someone whom I care about was in danger.
The Die Potato: When the potato was about to be smashed but his assailant was rolled over by the train; was the potato also smashed by the train? Who taught the potato how to handle a firearm?
The Boy that Turned into a Pie:
Maybe he baked a pie and hid. Maybe he turned into the pie, by baking himself, but then the pie might taste like steak. How would he have turned into a perfectly shaped pie, like the pie flavored pie? Could the baby on fire be trying to bake into a pie by his mother, since she wanted more jewelry? Maybe she wanted to have a bake sale?
Child Arrested for Doing Homework:
Maybe this takes place in a dystopian society where any types of learning are forbidden. Maybe there was a free-thinking teacher who assigned the student to read some forbidden book and do a report on it, hence that it the homework the child was arrested for.
That’s all I have for the moment.
Hopefully, in the not to distant future, I can further elaborate on this.
Also, I am willing to accept input on your thoughts if you yourself also watch ASDF Movies…
My EDC Flashlights of 2016
I wrote this article in 2016. It is 2018 at the time I am posting this, but a good bit of the information still rings true. Apparently, it was late in the evening when I wrote this, which is usually when I am most creative. I still EDC some of two years later…
I have decided to write short review of the pocket sized flashlights I rotate with my EDC gear, as of Early 2016. Some are popular, other’s not so much. These are VERY budget friendly, as even the most costly [pocket EDC] model can be had for <$35 at the overwhelming majority of online, brick and mortar and hybrid retailers.
I realize that one should have both LED and Icandescent in his/her (or vice versa, depending on the situation that arises) EDC gear.
LED Models:
If you are a heavy flashlight user (meaning every day, several times a day), you will want a flashlight that is rugged, easy to maintain, efficient on batteries and bright enough for any given task. LED models fit these specifications perfectly. The few drawbacks of LED technologies is that they are overwhelmingly NOT user serviceable, MOST models give an untrue color rendition of any object being examined, and the scariest; they probably will NOT survive an EMP blast. In fact any electronic device that utilizes transistors and microchips as their semiconductors will fail. That’s just about everything except for a very few exceptions of devices that are probably only used in the military sector. That brings on a horrible wave of depression when I think of it and I have to ask God to comfort me.
My current EDC choices are:
UST (Ultimate Survival Technologies) Moon Force 2xAAA Glo Model. <$20.
Energizer Hard Case Professional LED Task Light 2xAA Model. ~$14-$17.
Terralux Light Star 80 2xAAA Model. <$20.
5.11 Tactical TMT PLx 2xAAA Model. <$35.
Now that all has been said about LED models; here is a list of mine:
UST (Ultimate Survival Technologies) Moon Force 2xAAA Glo Model. <$20. I mainly have it as a just in case of the worst thing besides an EMP blast. It can be located in the dark. It has a battery of 40 hours in low mode whilst still giving off a decent 10 lumens. It also has an emergency signally mode that has it preprogrammed to blink “SOS” continuously. This is a must have if traveling and one becomes stranded and or injured. The only drawback is that I find as the batteries age, one must strike it in addition to pressing the switch in order for it to turn on. I think of this in a situation where I would be in an aircraft downing in the middle of nowhere or being kidnapped and thrown into a trunk.
Energizer Hard Case Professional LED Task Light 2xAA Model. ~$14-$17. It is a cross between a consumer and a tradesperson’s flashlight and can be used for industrial use or outdoor nighttime activities. At 250 Lumens on high mode, it is the brightest flashlight in my current EDC gear. Its body is composed of a ABS plastic and steel. This allows it to be both rugged and chemical resitant and non conductive (excellent for performing maintenance and repairs on various pieces of machinery.) There is also a low setting which makes it appropriate for close up inspection of work While I wouldn’t advise for self defense from humans, it can be an excellent way of scaring away smaller animals (like a racoons, possums and even randy or dominant cats) that torment your pets and children. I mean, if the blinding brightness doesn’t deter their attitudes, a good hard whack upside the head or high velocity throw at their hind legs will surely scare them away but won’t leave any severe or crippling injuries. It will make them think twice about harming your elderly, juvenile or pregnant/nursing pets as well as undiscerning children. I claim no responsibility for any injuries you or your loved ones may sustain from the animals. For an extra measure of your safety and CYA purposes, please shout “GET” at the animal in question when engaging and only use force it it doesn’t comply with your command. For larger, stronger preadtory animals, there is a plethora of blades and firearms to choose from, but this piece is dedicated to flashlights. It will survive an impact of 7 Meters (21 Feet) on concrete and because of being built of high quality plastic, it won’t show the battle scars too much either. What if our enemies use some sort of dirty radiation to generate the EMP waves? What if all these little bastards mutate, get stronger and have all kinds of superpowers and attack you and your infirmed. When you shout “GET” they will laugh at you mockingly. What if their mutated bodies will then be able to absorb the blows from whackings and hurlings that once sent them away with their tails between their legs? Okay, I know there are plenty of possibilities but no more. This is supposed to be about science fact, not science fiction. The line between the two subjects keeps blurring though.
Terralux Light Star 80 2xAAA Model. <$20. This flashlight gives off 80 *you guessed it* Lumens, but I forget for how long on a set of batteries. Unfortunately the company’s website is not up to par at the moment. I like this one and carry it because it presents the best of both worlds, but is legally an LED. Therefore I must declare that I highly doubt it surviving an EMP blast. The reason why I say it gives the best of both worlds is because it has the brightness, durability and effeciency of an LED, but due to recent advances in LED technology, it produces light that is similar in color to an incandescent with fresh batteries. This means that in any profession where color rendition matters, this light is a winner. [Theoretically] all colors being inspected and examined will show their true appearance. This light also has a grip on it that is mean for holding it with your teeth comfortably and still having both hands free to work. Another simple but brilliant idea is that this light has the ability to place the clamp upside down and clip it to the duck bill of your cap. Please for CYA purposes make sure the light is point away from your face when you wear it on your cap. Also this light has a forward clickie switch which means you could secretly communicate morse code, or cause a seizure to someone who is trying to harm you. For the sake of CYA, let me caution that you could probably be sued or even prosecuted for causing a serious injury if your attacker hurts his/herself during the seizure, even if it was purely self defense. I shouldn’t say this because it will give some epeleptic the urge to hold someone up in the hopes that he or she will get an blast of light in the face, go into a seizure and then sue his or her victim. Welcome to modern America. Do you even wonder why enemies both foreign and domestic would love to bring us to our knees and what better way of doing it than sending all of our technology 200 years into the past?
5.11 Tactical TMT PLx 2xAAA Model. <$35. This light is 90 Lumens (10 Lumens brighter than my Terralux and nearly just as efficient if my memory serves me properly.) It seems to be made of a slightly harder grade of Aircraft Aluminum than the Terralux, which I would like to use it as my Kubotan light. It too has a forward clickie so we please refer to the previous paragraph about the advantages forward clickie switches. It is a decent all around lighting instrument, but was initially targeted to law enforcement and military customers. That means that it probably can stand up to most forms of use and abuse. I only wish it had a crenelated bezel, like my 2xAAA Bushnell flashlight. And of course a 12 Hz strobe feature would make inducing a seizure (or at least extreme disorientation) in your oponent even easier.
Incandescent Models:
If you absolutely need excellent color rendition of the equipment, (or tissue and organs for that matter) want a flashlight that is user servicable (hence an exponentially longer lifetime of service) or just plain want to be prepared should any disaster fry all modern electronics. Also their startup cost is a fraction of the startup cost of an LED model. The drawbacks to incandescents are that since a glass bulb is the only light emitter, they are horribly more fragile than their LED counterparts, they devour batteries like a starving pit bull in a butcher shop, their bulb life is also relatively short, meaning the user must have extra replacement in his/her edc bag. Then there is the facet that frightens me most: Their replacement bulbs may some day be discontinued, because of the potential selfishness and greed or poor descision making on the part of their manufacturers. Given the political instability at home and abroad, I will stress that incandescent flashlights are a MUST not only as a backup device in the event of an EMP induced LED failure, but also to have as a barter item (extra bulbs as well in this case) for food, water, medicine and weapons/ammo. Because of the relatively low price of both the flashlights and their bulbs, They will indeed be worth many times their MSRP. I am shocked to realize that I have never heard anyone from the prepper community state that flashlight bulb futures could be a publically traded commodity, seriously not even as a joke. Has anyone besides myself ever thought of this?
My current EDC choices are:
Mini Maglite 1984 Original 2xAA Model. ~$8-$20.
Mini Maglite 1987 Smaller 2xAAA Model ~$7-$16.
Pelican MityLite 1900 2xAAA Model. ~$10-~$20.
Now that I have stated the extreme pros and unfortunate cons of incandescent models, here are the ones I rotate in my EDC gear:
Mini Maglite 1984 Original 2xAA Model. ~$8-$20. This was probably the flashlight that revolutionized the industry and was a trailblazer in the subject of all things EDC. I have been using this model (not the same one, but different ones over the past 10 years. I also have given them as gifts to friends and family. While not on the bleeding edge of today’s flashlight technology; it is still a tried and true favorite around the world. This is a flashlight that can be used in both the medical and custodial arts and anything in between! It can meet the needs of a surgeon but still be affordable on a janitor’s wages. The only complaint I can say about it is that bulb and battery life are poor. A fresh set of Alkalines will emit 14 Lumens from the bulb and last between 3 to 5 hours depending on the quality of the cells (you get what you pay for definitely makes a clear statement in the world of batteries.) A new bulb will burn for maybe 8 to 10 hours before flashing out. Maglite upgraded their bulbs designed for this flashlight several time over the years. They were always bi pin bulbs, but their physical and chemical features have changed over the years; Vacuum, Krypton and Xenon respectively. What I recommend this model for is anything where light is needed in a post EMP blast world, but also has much praticality in normal everyday life. I have used it for close up inspection work when repairing/inspecting the insides a computer tower many times. I have also read and heard where it was esential in performing or assisting surgery in the mission fields where the electricity is intermittent at best, reading an instrument panel on any vehicle, craft or vessel at night when the proprietary lighting has decided to quit on you. Also, from what I gather, firefighters like this light because of its ability to project a focused beam with minimal glare in a smoke or mist filled room. There is even an implement sold by a third party that allows this flashlight to be securely mounted to their helments. What tops it all off is that it was invented and still made here in the States by a highly ethical and kind-hearted, though rightfully shrewd at times, eighty something business executive and tradesman named Tony Maglica.
Mini Maglite 1987 Smaller 2xAAA Model ~$7-$16. This is the smaller, lighter, and dimmer underage lover to the original Mini Maglite. I swear their relationship is consensual, but for CYA purposes I assure you the parents of the younger party gave their full blessing to the relationship and even paid for a lavish wedding. In fact: One year later they had a child whom they named Solitaire because of its dull light output and inability to stay in a committed relationship to its key lanyard. Wow lack of medication breeds creativity, but creativity is soon beaten and gang raped by paranoia, depression and anxiety. Okay all joking aside. This flashlight was developed for medical and industrial purposes and I would say it was mediocre in filling those roles for. However it holds a special place in my heart for the simple fact that it was brought into this *racking my brain desparately for a properly fitting adjective* world in 1987, just like me. Sometime I think in 2015 she got her act together and began using a Xenon bulb. Now she is a medical profession, specializing in eye exams because of her color correct Xenon light, and her dimness has an advantage because the pupils only contract minimally. I think she would make a great use of her candle mode in a post EMP world for seperated young lovers to write each other since there will be no phones texts or emails to communicate. I think she might also inspire a huge generation of creative writers as they create stories, plays, songs, poems, doctrines and manifestoes. Then again, will we have freedom of expression once order is restored?
Pelican MityLite 1900 2xAAA Model. ~$10-~$20. I have a love and hate relationship with this model, due to owning ones that had their bodies warp, bulb modules burnout prematurely and even one of them being stolen from me. However, the laser precision Xenon fired beam 11 Lumen, overall ruggedness and especially the strong association with the maritime industry (and my gongoozling hobby) not to mention its Class 1 Divsion 1 Group C and D approval were all deciding factors in me giving this model one more chance and even placing it in with my EDC gear. It will hardly dent your checking account (neither will it send you into massive debt.) Well, let me clarify: If you use it heavily, it will develop an addiction to batteries not unlike a chain smoker’s ongoing and scandalous love affair with Nicotene. Like any other incandescent model it will thrive in the post EMP world (especially in areas where hazardous fluids have been released because of the near universal failure electronics will sucumb to.) In the still normal pre EMP world this light will be ideal when working on live electrical or electronic circuits is an absolute must, but please remove the damn key ring first if yours has one.
Another indispensible use of small flashlights.
Someday, I would love to take up the art of the Kubotan, which is a style of martial arts that teaches the use a hard, pen-sized object to strike the pressure points of a would be attacker and disarm him/her. A metal, pocket sized flashlight is ideal for these techniques and some were even built with this in mind (I believe the Mini Maglite in 1984 was one of these.) With enough skills mastered could even halt the most heavilly armed attacker in a close quarter combat situation. This is something that should be taught to and encouraged for all patrons and staff of all schools churches and hospitals, especially with the rise of mass shootings as of lately…
Inspirational or Funny Quotes
These are certain quotes that I find hold much weight. I have borrowed this from my Facebook page, since most of my blog readers don’t know me from Facebook:
Here they are:
Christian/Biblical quotes:
“For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”-The Apostle Paul, Romans 6:23.
“But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us”-The Apostle Paul, Romans 5:8
“For God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son that whosoever believe in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”-John the Disciple whom Jesus loved, John 3:16.
“But what does it say? ‘The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart’ (that is, the word of faith which we preach): that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”-The Apostle Paul, Romans 10:8-10
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”-The Apostle Paul, Romans 10:13.
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”-The Apostle Paul, Romans 9:38-39.
“For the message of the Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved, it is the Power of God”-The Apostle Paul, 1 Corinthians 1:18
“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.”-Jesus Christ, Matthew 10:16.
“But now, whoever has a money belt is to take it along, likewise also a bag, and whoever has no sword is to sell his coat and buy one.”-Jesus Christ, Luke 22:36.
“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”-The Apostle Paul, Ephesians 6:12.
“For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”- The Apostle Paul, 1 Timothy 6:10.
“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”-Psalmist, Psalms 37:4.
“Jesus paid a debt that He did not owe, because we owed a debt that we could not pay.”-Unknown.
“…The vilest offender who truly believes, that moment from Jesus a pardon receives…”-Frances Jane Crosby from her hymn “To God Be The Glory.”
“…Oh, to grace, how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be, Let Thy Goodness like a fetter bind my wandering heart to Thee. Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love, here’s my heart, oh, take and seal it, seal it for Thy Courts above…”-Pastor Robert Robinson from his hymn, “Come Thou Fount of every Blessing.”
“…Like a rose trampled on the ground.
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all…”-Lyrics from the Michael W. Smith song “Above All” which describes how much Jesus Christ loves the church and what He went through that we may be saved.
“Red sky at night, sailor’s delight. Red sky in the morning, sailor’s warning.”-An ancient rhyme about weather which I believe is based on what Jesus Christ said in Mathew 16:2-3.
Quotes from famous writers:
“…All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrance…”-William Shakespeare.
“The pen is mightier than the sword.”-Edward Bulwer-Lytton
“Art imitates life and life imitates art.”-Oscar Wilde.
Quotes from others:
“Analog TV, we hardly knew ye…”-Justin Matherne, June 12, 2009, (his commentary on how all full power analog television stations shut of their signals, because of a government mandate.)
“Calculators don’t bounce!”-Mr. C.J. Tastet.
“…Nothing wrong with fresh white beans!…”-Mr. Wade Plaisance from Wade’s Pest Control (He told me this as he was doing a preventative spraying for bugs in my residence early one morning in 2016. I was in my kitchen cooking white beans from scratch.)
“73’s, on top of the trees! Bend those knees in the breeze!”-Someone I heard on a CB radio.
My personal quotes:
“The ability to provoke emotions is a wonderful gift…”-Me (my observation on how I cause people to experience various emotions when reading what I write.)
“For I am convinced that the pen is mightier than the sword and I do not carry the pen in vain…”-Me (realizing how I can use writing to help forward a cause or have revenge on persons and entities that have wronged me.)
“If there is anything good about abusive people, it is this and probably only this: They sure are excellent inspirations to draw from for creating villainous and/or evil characters when writing fiction.”-Me (speaking from first hand experience.)
“I believe there is an extremely fine line between inspiration and plagiarism…”-Me (an observation about some of the things I’ve formerly written.)
“Give the utmost reverence where the utmost reverence is due!” -Me (trying to preach and uphold the importance of virtue and innocence.)
“You know you live in the middle of nowhere if there are no Family Dollar or Dollar General stores near you…”-Me (a little observational humor.)
“Linux based operating systems have more perks than quirks.”-Me (stating a personal computer observation.)
“The [incandescent] Mini Maglite can be used in both the medical and custodial arts and anything in between! It can meet the needs of a surgeon but still be affordable on a janitor’s wages.”-Me (stating the versatility of a Mini Maglite, from an essay I wrote about high quality incandescent flashlights.)
“When egrets take flight; foul weather in sight.” -Me. (my personal weather observation, first version.)
“When egrets fly high; foul weather is nigh.”-Me (my personal weather observation, second version.)
“Old people are cool!”-Me (stating a fact.)
“I can set my watch to it.” -Me (when complaining about any irritating event that repeatedly happens.)
“Remember the cable guy?”-Me (inside family joke.)
“Heavy Duty batteries are really Heavy Crappy and Heavy Leaky!”-Me (my personal observation on the experiences I have had with Carbon Zinc and Carbon Zinc Chloride batteries.)
“I used to bag groceries for a living and I’m anal about how it’s done.”-Me (when explaining to the cashier or bagger not to put meats from different animals or hot and cold items in the same bag.)
“The position of the grocery bagger was [heavily, but not totally] done away with after the economic downturn of 2008.”-Me (noticing how cashiers also bag groceries at many stores and have ever since about 2008.)
Excerpts and Ideas from Stories that I Never Finished
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So, I had a vision when I was sixteen:
It involved two potential lovers outside in very cold, frigid weather. I tried to make sense of it and connect some of the dots by assuming that they were spies (probably from opposing governments) in Siberia who meet there by chance. I don’t know yet if they will at first try to kill each other (as they are assigned to) but instead fall in love, then defect and run away together…Another scenario could be that they are both caught by the Siberian Special Forces and are bound up then left for dead in the snow, then fall in love and die together from hypothermia…This is what was going through my mind just moments prior to me writing my first story, which was quite different yet still a little similar from this, on the evening of April 10, 2003…
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Two forbidden lovers conversing:
I initially wrote this some time in 2008…
“Watch the sun as it moves across the sky: When the rooster crows, it is dawn. When you begin to sweat, it is mid-morning. When there are no shadows, it is noon. When the crows begin to call, it is sunset. When the crickets chirp, it is dusk. When the wolves howl, moon rise is nigh. When the gates to the property close, it is nighttime. I will try my hardest to meet up with you at each of those times.”
“The way you explained all that sounded so beautiful. It makes me want you all the more! My God, how I wish we could be together without having to sneak around.”
“And how I wish I could kiss your beautiful face in front of the whole world, but I don’t want you to lose your job. But I will kiss you just as passionately in the shadows…Our next meeting will be at noon.”
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Two Students Attending a Strict High School:
This possibly takes place in a dystopian society.
I had help from some peers (though they were of the opposite sex) when I was writing this in the late Spring of 2004.
One day during lunch a kind and noble boy, about seventeen, was walking around looking for a spot to sit when he noticed a beautiful girl, about fourteen, sitting by herself and shaking.
He walks up to her table and asks, “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing dont worry about it,” She answers, but is in obvious distress.
“Is this seat taken?” He asks her.
“No, you can sit here if you want to.”
The boy sits next to her and they eat together.
Awkwardly but sweetly they stare into each others’ eyes, then begin to eat their lunches.
After they finish eating, the boy asks her, “What is bothering you? I know something is wrong and I wish I could help you.”
The girl breaks down and says, “My step dad would beat me and you if he knew we were talking.” She pauses then continues, “The school officials are keeping a close eye on me because my quietness arouses their suspicion.”
“Well you seem to be a very sweet girl and you do not deserve that kind of ill treatment. I’ll stand up for you if any school employee or anyone for that matter including your step dad if he tries to harm you.”
“Are you crazy” She asked him, “If you confront a school worker like that you will be humiliated, whipped, thrown in the dungeon and who know’s what else? If you confront my step dad, he’s likely to beat the daylights out of you then call the cops.”
The boy answered, “It would definitely be worth it for you.” Then he smiled and winked at her.
She smiled at him and blushed a little…
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Part of this came to me in a dream I had in the Autumn of 2006:
A young love stricken man named Gallen Blain was talking to his pilot Jim Donson and asked, “Have you ever shopped at the Goodness Department Store?”
Jim replied “Yeah I shop. I fly all around the country shopping for women.”
Gallen replied “Well there is a very beautiful young lady who works there, her name is Mandi Case.”
“Why limit yourself to just one?”
“Because I love her and only her! Don’t I catch enough hell about that from the other workers?”
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A conversation between a young industrial designer and his financial backer. This was inspired by a dream I had in the Autumn of 2012 I penned about two years later:
“I know you have no formal training, but I hear you’re good. From what my grandson tells me you sure know tradesman tools.”
“Well, I certainly try my best, Mr. McCloud. I worked as a technician for 2 years, then I sold tradesman tools for another two years. I would like to think that I know what improvements need to be made.”
“That’s why I hired you.”
“And I promise to give you and your company my best designs.”
“Good. I expect nothing less.”
“Should I show you some of my ideas right now? I have been wanting them to be put into existence for years now. I just never had the manufacturing resources nor the financial backing.”
“Yes. Just give me a preview of what is to come.”
“All right. I feel, that my expertise as far as tradesman’s tools is concerned is the area of portable lighting. I have three revolutionary ideas for flashlights and I hope you will accept.”
“Go on.”
“Well, for starters, I have designed a line for electricians…”
“Good. Interesting, I have been looking to diversify my products and this may just be it.”
“There’s more.”
“Go on.”
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I penned this in 2012, but was inspired to write it from a dream I had in 2007:
Helen Williams was reprimanding Amelia Esterwood with anger, “People all over town are gossiping about how you and Cade Jennings were sitting in the diner, talking about aphrodisiacs. They are even saying that you and him mixed it in your drinks. Is this true?”
Cade Jennings stepped out from his eavesdropping and said, “What if it were true? I am so fed up with all this small town gossip. Why should she be punished because of something I convinced her to do. It was my idea to drink her potion.”
Helen adjusted her glasses and looked sternly at Cade, as she spoke, “So it’s you that did this? I would have thought much better of you, Cade. You come from a family of upright people and then you go and do this? I am very disappointed in you.” She paused and then spoke to Amelia “And you, if you want to work for me and have your affordable housing, you better stop this filthy behavior right now.” She then told Amelia, dismissively “Now get back to work. And Cade you mind your own business.”
Cade replied, “Tell all these other nosy small town people with nothing better to do, that they should do the same.”
“Why should they?” Helen asked with anger and continued, “If you are not doing anything wrong you should have nothing to hide.” Helen paused, then said “If anyone is doing something shameful, then he or she should and will be shunned. That way it will deter people from doing all things questionable.”
Cade who was now irritated once again said “Well what if everyone knew how you were illegally renting out rooms on your property? Don’t act like you’re so righteous.”
Helen grew very angry and agitated “Shut your mouth young man. Didn’t your parents teach you not to question your elders?”
Quick-witted, Cade replied “Well didn’t yours teach you that honesty is the right thing to do? The way you treat your workers is very dishonest!”
“How would you know how I treat my workers?” Ms. Helen asked with great irritation.
Cade replied, “It’s the talk of the town. Isn’t it something how you say that everyone should know if someone is doing something questionable.”
Helen was speechless.
Amelia smiled brightly at Cade.
Finally, Helen broke the silence and said “Cade, I am appalled by your disrespect, but I don’t have the time to argue with you. Your parents are going to hear about that mouth you have, rest assured.”
She looked at Amelia, then said “Come with me now, you have been standing here, not working all the time Cade and I were arguing. I am going to dock your pay.”
Amelia reluctantly followed from a slight distance, but turned around to look at Cade. She blew him a kiss and then silently said “I love you Cade.” He read her lips and then spoke silently “I love you too, Amelia.” He then blew her a kiss.
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Eveready No. 1259-Part Three
School had just let out for Summer Vacation that very afternoon and I knew I was about to resume my work-study. So, I turned in all my books, placed my uniform shirt in my backpack and collected all of my personal items.
My science teacher saw me leaving the school building.
She was holding my old Eveready 1259 in her hand and stopped me saying, “Since you did so well in my class, I think you deserve this back. You’re very bright, but you need to be more serious during class time. You also need to watch your language.”
“Thanks.” I sheepishly told her. Little did she know that I had job security for years to come, despite being only sixteen. I initially wanted to tell her off, but I guess her giving me back the flashlight had caught me off guard. She didn’t know about my newer Eveready 1259 in my backpack and wasn’t going to find out.
My teacher then handed my flashlight to me and asked, “Were you serious about working with fuel tanks are were you just trying to be smart alleck?”
“I do work with fuel, but I am not allowed to say any more.”
“It’s illegal you know for someone your age to do that kind of work.”
“Trust me, it’s legal. I just cannot say anymore.”
“Whatever you say. Just be careful.”
I then quickly exited the school building. In just a few hours I had to walk to the helicopter terminal on the other side of town to be transported to the secret base. However, first I wanted to get some more batteries and bulbs for both of my Eveready 1259 flashlights. Therefore, I made a bee line for the supply house.
Finally I made it there.
As I walked through the door, the same salesman greeted me, “Hello young man, haven’t seen you in a while. Did you teacher take away your second flashlight too?”
“Nope. Actually she returned my original 1259 to me because she thought I did well in her class.”
“Wow, then teachers sure aren’t as strict as when I went to school. One time I brought my favorite Matchbox car to class and was playing with it on my desk. The teacher took it and I never saw it again.”
“That sucks.”
“Yes, but I never brought anything to school again, unless I needed it for class. Anyways, what brings you here?”
“I need more bulbs and batteries for these two flashlights. I would prefer some PR6 bulbs and as many Energizer Industrial D cells as possible.”
“I do have those, but why exactly do you need PR6 bulbs? They’re dim as all hell. And it’s not like you actually need your flashlight to be explosion proof, right?”
“But I definitely do need it to be explosion proof.”
“Come on, I know you can’t be eighteen yet, and that means you’re not allowed to work in a hazardous job. So why would you need an explosion proof flashlight?”
“That’s top secret, now I am on foot and have to get across town in a limited amount of time.”
“Okay, young man, whatever you say. Since you like explosion proof flashlights so much, might I interest you in a Pelican 1900? It’s explosion proof, brighter and much smaller. Plus it comes in different colors.”
“Let me see one, then maybe.”
The salesman showed me the display.
“It costs 12.50 for one Pelican 1900.”
“I’ll take it.”
“What color do you want, kid?”
“The neon green looks cool.”
“You’ll probably want replacement lamps, right?”
“Yes.”
“They’re $4.50 each.”
“Give me three.”
“That’s $13.50 in addition to your $12.50. And you’ll want replacement batteries. They are 18 cents each for the Energizer Industrials.”
“Give me eight of them.”
“That’s $1.44 in addition to $13.50 for the lamps and $12.50 for the Pelican 1900. Which comes out to $27.44 plus tax.”
“Great. I’ll take ’em.”
“Didn’t you want PR6 bulbs and Industrial Alkaline D batteries as well.?”
“You’re right.”
“The D cells are 95 cents apiece.”
“Give me six.”
“Okay that’s $5.70 in addition to $27.44 for your other stuff. And PR6 bulbs are $1.90 apiece if you want them as well.”
“Yes. Give me four of them.”
“All right that’s an additional $7.60 plus the $33.14 for everything else. If you don’t want to buy anything else, your subtotal is $40.74.”
“Okay, that’s fine.”
“That comes out to $44.20 after tax.”
“I pull out one of my two $50 bills and hand it to him.”
“You must either have rich parents or you work to have that kind of money.”
“I work.”
“Is that why you so desperately need your flashlights to be explosion proof?”
“I’ll neither confirm nor deny. Now I have to get across town quickly.”
He gives me the $5.80 back as change and hands me all of my merchandise. I then put all of it in my backpack and leave the supply house, looking at my watch.
The time indicates 1:20 or 13:20 if looking at the secondary numbers. I have to be at the heliport by 4:00 or 16:00, but it’s way on the other side of town and I’m on foot.
A female classmate sees me walking in the hot sun and offers me a ride.
I take it.
“Where are you heading?” She asks.
“The heliport.”
She gives me a puzzled look and then asks, “Why do you need to go there.”
“It’s for my job.”
She smiles and asks “Going work in the tanks, right.”
“Yes. You must have in that class.”
“That was totally cute how you showed off that flashlight with the lights off as we took notes.”
“Well thanks.”
“Actually, though, I think you’re just cute anyway.”
She leans over to kiss me. I blush.
“I didn’t realize you liked me.”
She smiled brightly and nodded her head.
“I wish we could do something this summer, but I’m going to be out of the country.”
“Is it for your secret job.”
“Yes.”
“Would you be able to call me?”
“Yes, once I put a SIM card in my phone that I get from the base. I have an international cell phone. If you see a strange looking number, it’s probably mine.”
“Okay, I’ll give you my cell and my parents’ house number.”
She calls them out and I put them in my GSM phone.
“Are you on AIM?” I ask her.
“Yes.”
I take a piece of my sales invoice and write my screen name on it and hand it to her. She dictates her screen name to me and I write it down.
Afterwards she holds my hand and drives me to the heliport.
As we are going there, I tell her, “I have a little bit of time and cash, so maybe I could take you to lunch.”
Her eyes light up and she nods.
“Where would you like to get me lunch?” She asks.
“Applebees.” I reply.
“Awesome!”
With that, we pull into the parking lot and are seated.
We order and are soon served our food.
Over the course of our meal, she asks, “What is so secret about your job anyway?”
“Well we develop products that could make other products obsolete. The owners of companies whose products become obsolete would want to kill us and destroy our workplaces. That’s why we are flown by helicopter, but the wherabouts of my jobs are totally unknwon to me. I’m sorry I cannot tell you anymore.”
“How did you get this job?”
“I was chosen by an online profiler who I guess thought I was smart and trustworthy.”
“I’m going to miss not seeing you.”
“But we can talk on the phone and online.”
“Yes, but that’s not the same as seeing you cute face.”
I blushed brightly and she giggled.
I looked at my watch. It was now 2:55 or 14:55 in secondary numbers.
“Do you have to leave now?”
“The helicopter leaves at 4 P.M., but I would like to be at the heliport sooner than that.”
“Can I stay until you board?”
“Sure. I would want you to.”
“You really would?”
“Of course. No one else ever paid attention to me like you do.”
“So you like me as well, then?”
“Yes. Yes I do.”
She kissed me again.
I paid for the meal and then we left.
As we were riding to the heliport, she asked me “Are you going to miss me?”
I nodded, then said “Terribly.”
“You’re so sweet.” She said and kissed me a third time.
We sat in her car and talked. Other student workers began to arrive. I held her hand and stayed in her car until I saw the helicopter land.
My watch indicated 3:58 or 15:58 in secondary numbers.
“I guess I have to go now. Can I kiss you this time?”
“Of course you can.”
We stared at each other, then closed our eyes and passionately kissed. I embraced her and kissed her once more, then walked out of her car with all my stuff.
She waved and blew me one final kiss as I boarded the helicopter. As it took off I could see her standing on the ground watching us leave…
Back to “A Teenage Student Worker and his Eveready No. 1259 Flashlight”
Eveready No. 1259-Part Two
Christmas break had ended and, for now, so had my part of the top-secret work-study. Now that I was back home I took advantage of the reliable Internet access and purchased several more Industrial Alkaline batteries and plenty of PR6 bulbs for my Eveready 1259. I also cleaned the tube and contacts. It was now working as if it were almost new . School had now started up again. The class for my first period was science. Co-incidentally, the subject was on the auto-ignition temperature of various materials and fluids. The material came as a breeze to me as I had already been exposed to it hands on during my work-study. After the notes were written down the teacher began to lecture.
“Auto ignition temperature is the minimum amount of heat required to cause a given combustible substance to ignite. Different materials have different temperatures and care must be taken when handling any one of them.” She paused and then said “Through extensive research, trial and error and even accidents; scientists and engineers have compiled data on plenty of these materials. Doing so allowed for their manufacturers, handlers and end-users to be able to know how hot is too hot. This vital data, when taken seriously, saves billions of dollars and, more importantly, countless lives.” She paused, then continued “Companies and workers that deal with these materials are required by law to use equipment that is positively known not to generate heat beyond the ignition point. This includes motors, lighting, switches and even hand tools. Virtually any machine, device or instrument that could generate any sort of spark must be heavily regulated. Any component that is to be used in an atmosphere where a potentially explosive material is present must not generate heat that meets or exceeds the auto ignition temperature of the given material. This takes some science and engineering to allow conformity, which we will cover some of this is the following lessons. Many students appeared to be bored. I, on the other hand, was listening. This pertained to my everyday work and would for years to come. I was already aware and well rounded in the material presented.
Feeling the desire to show off; I reached into my backpack and pulled out my flashlight then said
“Speaking of auto ignition temperatures, I have a flashlight here that is designed to work in areas where some of these potentially explosive are handled. It has special circuitry and low temperature bulbs that will stop it from igniting any of these gases or dusts.” I pointed my flashlight at the ceiling and continued talking “It is safe to use around potentially explosive materials just like we are learning about. It has been approved by the government as well as other authorities.” I paused then said “There is only one drawback and that is it is horribly dim, but it still gets the job done. The reason why it is dim is because the bulb used in it is weaker than most and therefore shines at a temperature low enough to not cause an explosion.”
The teacher switched the projector off and demanded “What do you think you are doing?”
I replied “I thought I would give an example to the class, you know, show them how this material is practical in the real world.” The class laughed.
“You talked out of turn and disrupted my class.” She paused then said “Furthermore you have an item that is not appropriate for school. Hand it over, now.”
“But…” I said
“But what?” The teacher asked
I replied “I need that for work. Plus, it is my favorite one.”
The teacher asked, sternly “For work, what do you do?”
“I work in and around fuel tanks.” I replied. The class laughed again.
“You are sixteen years old, it is illegal for you to work in that sort of job. I am going to report you employer-unless you are making it up.” She paused then asked “Who is your employer?”
“I am not allowed to disclose that information.” I replied.
“Then you are making it up.” She said, then continued “Hand over the flashlight and I am giving you two Saturday Schools.”
The teacher took my flashlight and the whole class laughed once more.
I cussed as I was angry beyond belief.
“That’s another Saturday School young man!” The teacher shouted sternly, the class laughed once more and then the bell rang.
I was angrier than I had been in a long time. That light had a history, whether I knew what it was or not, and that hateful teacher took it from me. I sat in the rest of my classes still angry but focused on getting a new one. Finally, came recess. I logged onto the computer and did a search for a replacement Eveready 1259. I found there was a supply house in my town that was selling it for $6.99. I paid much less for my first one, but this was brand new.
“Fair enough.” I reluctantly thought to myself.
The remainder of the school day dragged on, until, finally, the bell rang. I walked out of the classroom, changed my shirt, put my books in my locker, retrieved my cell phone, took my backpack and headed on foot to the supply house. It took me over an hour to get there, but finally, I arrived. I walked in and a middle aged man greeted me with a stern look.
“May I help you young man?” He asked.
“Yes sir.” I replied, then continued “I saw on your company website that you have an Eveready 1259 in stock. I walked here a good distance, so I hope you still have it.”
“Yes, we do.” He said and continued “But what exactly do you need it for?”
I fabricated a half lie and said “I had one as a hand me down but I was showing it off in science class and the teacher took it.”
The salesman asked “Why in the hell were you showing off a flashlight in class, especially one like that. If I were you I would have wanted a much brighter flashlight to show off.”
I replied “We were learning about the auto ignition temperatures of volatile materials and I wanted demonstrate my knowledge.”
The salesman laughed and said “Well it is $6.99 plus tax.”
“I’ll take it.” I replied.
“Okay, your total is going to be $7.58, do you still want it? ” The man asked.
“Of course I do.” I said handing him my debit card. He ran it through the computers and printed me out an invoice. I also signed the store’s copy. After he handed me my new flashlight; we sat and we shot the breeze. The hands on my watch indicated 6:00 or 18:00 in the secondary numbers. The man looked at his as well.
“Well, another day is done. You better get home kid, before it gets too cold.” The man said.
I simply nodded and called my parents on my cell phone to pick me up. I waited for them to arrive in the cold January weather, but the cold temperatures here were nothing compared to the cold temperatures I had experienced on the base.
Back to “A Teenage Student Worker and his Eveready No. 1259 Flashlight”