A Crisis following an Argument-Confessions of an [un]Happily Married Blogger

So, it’s either the Summer of 2017, I honestly can’t remember which month or day, despite having a razor-sharp memory.

My wife and I are walking into our local big-box discount retailer (whose name needs no introduction) and for some reason or another, we’re angry at each other.

She is talking to me like a child and I am trying to tune her out.

I just agree so she will shut up.

Now and then, I stand up for myself, though.

Finally, she goes to purchase whatever items that she came to purchase.

I, on the other hand, decide to go look at the calculators, something of which I have been fascinated by almost as long as flashlights.

I’m not feeling loved at all and I certainly don’t feel any validation. I think my wife deliberately tries to deprive me of the latter and doesn’t know how to properly show me the former.

So besides my writing, I turn to flashlights and calculators to fill the void.

As I am making my way to the calculator aisle, which is near arts and crafts and office supplies, I see a beautiful young lady walking out of the housewares department.

She looks at me and warmly smiles.

When I say beautiful, she is my kind of beautiful:
Long thick blonde hair.
A sexy plus-sized body.
A flawless complexion.
And of course, she has everything in the right places!

She looks so cute in those Wayfarer eyeglasses. I’m glad that style has made a comeback!

A major part of me wants to smile back and I awkwardly do so.

But another part of me knows that I am a married man, albeit unhappily married and how I must needs honor my marriage or face the wrath of God.

I am already guilty of adultery in the heart and have been many times before, as this series brazenly suggests.

I wonder if this young lady is smiling at me because she just saw how awfully my wife just treated me?

I know this, she reminds me of a character in a story series I had recently begun.

I want this young lady so much, but I know I can’t have her, so maybe I’ll just write about her!

As each day passes, I regret my marriage more and more.

I know it is doomed to fail, but I need a catalyst to provoke me to divorce her.

I also need to know that my housing and financial needs shall be met whenever I do leave my wife.

Obviously, there are good women out there.

So, why does mine have to treat me so shabbily?

I don’t think it’s the fact that we moved too fast, rather I think her personality has changed and her toxic personality brings out some pretty ugly traits in me.

There are other factors as well, but for my safety, I won’t mention them.

At least I have my writing, and even though my wife resents it when I write, scores of others love my content.

Sometimes it is all I have to maintain my sanity.

I go back to the calculator aisle to see if any new ones are being sold.

There are none, so I make my way to the flashlight section in sporting goods.

I don’t have any money for a flashlight today, but just looking at them sends the endorphins pumping through my being and is a temporary remedy to the fact that I am an unhappily married blogger…

Back to “Confessions of an [un]Happily Married Blogger

A Review of the Fenix E20 version 2.0 EDC Flashlight

Just so we all know, I do not own the featured image on this page. It is the property of Fenix Lighting, LLC.

I have been carrying a flashlight on my person pretty much permanently since May 5, 2005.

For this duration it has mostly been a pocket-sized Aluminum flashlight, either a tactical or at least an EDC model.

I started with a Garrity metal LED flashlight, then a Dorcy of similar composition, but brighter, then from about late 2005 until some point in 2017, my choice has usually been some incarnation of a Mini Maglite, either LED or incandescent.

In 2017 and the earlier parts of 2018, I was carrying either Pelican or NiteCore.

From May of 2018 until early 2021, I mostly carried some form of a Streamlight.

In 2011, I joined CandlePowerForums and discovered the brand Fenix but it wouldn’t be until February 12, 2021, that I purchased my first Fenix brand flashlight on eBay. It was the LD02 version 2.0. I paid a total of $32.83 for it.

I was very impressed by it, so on February 28, 2021, I ordered another Fenix flashlight, the E20 version 2.0, also on eBay. The base price was$37.90 and the total price came out to $41.54. Paying these online taxes is murder, but I digress. Anyway, it arrived at my residence on March 4, 2021. That said flashlight is what this piece will be a review thereof.

I tried it out for a little bit then decided that it was nice enough to be my EDC flashlight. At the time I was carrying a Streamlight JR LED.

So I have been carrying it for almost two months at the time I am writing this. And I have no real complaints.

Is this flashlight suitable for a tactical situation?

Probably not.

Why not?

Four reasons.
1. The lowest setting always comes on first.
2. There is no strobe feature.
3. There is no strike bezel.
4. The tail-cap is a reverse click.

But for everyday use, it is perfect.

Might I add that it can be run on either Alkaline or NiMH batteries? Furthermore, it runs on common AA batteries.

Because the lowest setting comes on first, this is quite useful for when one wants to conserve power. Also, a reverse click tail-cap is better at preventing accidental activation than a forward click and some rotary switches.

I would certainly not recommend this for confronting someone breaking into my residence, making trouble with me when I am out and about, or even knocking at my door at a strange hour. That’s what a NiteCore i4000R is meant for. For those who are more budget-conscious, the latest Streamlight Junior or 2AA Pro Tac would also be appropriate for those situations.

However, for regular domestic use, outdoors, some occupational/professional settings, and especially traveling via any mode of transportation the Fenix E20 version 2.0 is a clear winner!

Carrying this flashlight for domestic use will be very handy in a plethora of household tasks because of the diverse power settings (more on that in a bit.) It could be used for looking for your pet in your dark backyard, finding something that well behind your sofa, connecting peripherals to a computer, television, or other electronics, navigating a dark attic or basement, or maybe just getting up to relieve your bladder in the middle of the night.

Carrying this flashlight outdoors, especially with your own family or maybe even bae’s family will be indispensable for many applications, especially after sunset it could be for reading literature while in the tent or navigating a walking path through the woods and anything in between!

Carrying this flashlight to your job will make you appear resourceful to your coworkers and maybe even your superiors. Because it is not a tactical model, there would probably be no issue with bringing this into a workplace where weapons/potentially threatening objects are forbidden.

Carrying this flashlight while traveling on mass transit should not upset the other passengers or security personnel, either. You may even be considered a hero should there be an equipment breakdown at night or on a subway train. God forbid any of you are in a plane crash or shipwreck, but if you survive and happen to have this flashlight on your person, you could assist the rescue workers in locating other survivors.

This is just my take, but as you the reader, probably know, I think about flashlights more than most.

Here is a breakdown of specifications, according to the company website:
Impact Resistance: 1 Meter.
Waterproof/Dustproof Rating: IP68 (submersible to 2 Meters.)
Size: 5 Inches/127 Millimeters Total Length, Body Diameter 0.7 Inches/16.8 Millimeters, Head Diameter 0.8 Inches/21 Millimeters.
Weight: 1.5 Ounces/42 Grams (excluding batteries.)
Included Accessories: 2 AA Alkaline Batteries…Spare O-Ring…Lanyard.

Settings:
Eco Mode
Light Output 5 Lumens
Runtime on Alkaline 200 Hours
Runtime on NiMH 140 Hours
Beam Distance 49 Feet/15 Meters
Beam Intensity 44 Candela

Low Mode
Light Output 30 Lumens
Runtime on Alkaline 93 Hours, 15 Minutes
Runtime on NiMH 34 Hours, 30 Minutes
Beam Distance 115 Feet/35 Meters
Beam Intensity 288 Candela

Medium Mode
Light Output 150 Lumens
Runtime on Alkaline 11 Hours, 15 Minutes
Runtime on NiMH 5 Hours 30 Minutes
Beam Distance 249 Feet/76 Meters
Beam Intensity 1448 Candela

High Mode
Light Output 350 Lumens
Runtime on Alkaline 3 Hours, 45 Minutes
Runtime on NiMH 1 hour, 30 Minutes
Beam Distance 413 Feet/126 Meters
Beam Intensity 3950 Candela

I think, you, the reader can now see why this flashlight is appropriate for a diverse amount of settings where it would be useful. As I said before, pretty much anything besides a tactical situation, and now I will also amend, this would not be a good idea for use in a hazardous location either. Medical professionals may or may not find this flashlight useful, depending on the task at hand. However, anywhere else, I truly think this flashlight fits the bill nicely.

Unless I discover something better or I know I will be in a situation where I am expecting trouble, I plan to carry this flashlight on me indefinitely. I wish I had decided to purchase flashlights like Fenix a decade ago, but at the time, I preferred only American-made flashlights, so that is why I was so glued to Maglite. Flashlights such as Fenix and NiteCore are made every bit as well as a Maglite or Streamlight and almost as well as a SureFire.

I may try out other Fenix flashlights in the upcoming months and years, so far I’m impressed.

So this, therefore, concludes my review of the Fenix E20 version 2.0.

For what it’s designed, I give the Fenix E20 a 5 out of 5 stars. It would be nice if something like this could be American-made, but then it would cost tremendously more.

I hope that you, the reader, have been informed and maybe even entertained.

May God richly bless you!

Back to “Product Reviews”

A Stormy Louisiana Monday

The alarm clock rings. A forty-five-year-old gentleman slowly wakes up.

He kisses his thirty-nine-year-old disabled wife good morning then gets ready for the day.

He brews some Community Breakfast Blend Coffee and drinks it mixed with half milk and half cream.

He also fries four eggs sunny side up and also toasts two slices of Evangeline Maid Wite Bread on his natural gas-powered range.

He slides his four eggs onto a plate and spreads some Clover Valley Strawberry Preserves on his two slices of toast.

Finally, he pours a tall glass of V8 juice and, says Grace sits down for breakfast.

He enjoys his breakfast then goes into the bathroom and freshens up in his washbasin, scrubbing his body with a bar of Dial soap.

He then shaves his face and splashes on some Aqua Velva.

Finally, he puts on RightGuard deodorant then gets dressed.

He dons a white Hane’s tee shirt with a left breast pocket, some Navy Blue Dickie’s work pants, a brown Dickie’s leather belt some white Fruit of the Loom crew socks and some brown Brahma work boots.

From his bedroom night table, he retrieves a SwissGear RFID shielded wallet, which he places in his left-back pants pocket, a Leatherman Surge multi-tool which he places in his right pocket and a Streamlight SL-20 LED flashlight which he secures in its belt holster. And he takes his Motorola smartphone secured in an Otterbox and places it in his left pants pocket. He places a bag of Clover Valley Cherry Sours in his breast pocket.

His wife prepares him two Creole tomato sandwiches with Rouse’s Mayonaise and Mustard and black pepper, then a Yeti Mug filled with Black Cherry Kool-Aid and places them in his Igloo Playmate Cooler and hands it to him.

They share a sweet hug and kiss, then she smacks his backside.

She then gets their young daughter ready for school.

Finally, he gets his keys and leaves his house, locking the doors behind him.

The skies are overcast and the wind is blowing as he steps onto his carport and opens the door to his 1993 Dodge Dakota.

He sits down cranks his engine and heads to work.

During his commute, he tunes in the Weather Band on his Midland CB Radio. He learns that the entire listening area is under a Tornado Watch and that a squall line is also due for their area this day.

He cusses under his breath, then asks God for forgiveness and places a couple of Cherry Sours in his mouth. Subsequently, he petitions God to protect his wife and daughter in addition to himself.

The sky is dark as he arrives at the local elementary school where he is employed as the facility engineer.

A bolt of lightning lights up the sky as he walks into the office.

He punches in and listens briefly as the principal’s radio is tuned to the local NPR affiliate.

He then walks to the boiler room and checks his work email on his Motorola Smartphone.

The cooler in the cafeteria needs to be tended to, so he retrieves his required tools and walks over.

There is a smell of bread rolls baking as well as red beans and rice along with smoked sausage being cooked. The aroma is very satisfying.

As the cafeteria staff continues to prepare the students’ lunch, the gentleman services the cooler. In due time he has the compressor pumping again.

One of the cooks attempts to flirt with him, but he replies, “Back off; I love my wife!”

The cafeteria manager warns her to respect his wishes and that he is a good man but a married man and not to mess with him again.

The buses are now dropping off the children.

He sees his young daughter stepping off the bus. She runs up to him and hugs him. He kisses her forehead then escorts her to her classroom.

He checks his work emails again and sees that the new light fixtures for the administration building have arrived and how he is assigned to install them.

He goes to the boiler room and secures a hand truck then walks to the receiving area to pick up the new light fixtures. He loads the boxes on the hand truck then transports them to the administration building along with his tools.

He steps into the administration building just as it begins to pour down rain.

NPR is still playing on the principal’s radio.

Morning Edition is interrupted with a Tornado Warning.

Immediately he assists the faculty and administration round up the children into the halls.

Just as the last student is in the hall, the electricity goes out.

He turns on his Streamlight SL-20 LED and lights up the dark school.

His daughter has an Olight I3E EOS on her lanyard next to her school ID. She also lights up her immediate area.

He stands next to her and begins to attempt to comfort the other students by telling them stories.

Suddenly his phone rings. It is his wife calling.

“I have to take this call,” He says, then quickly answers the phone.

On the other end, she frantically says, “It’s dark as night here bae. I think there’s a tornado nearby. Are you all right?”

“Yes. I am fine. I’m with all the students and my coworkers in the hall.”

“Is our little girl okay?”

“Yes. She has that little flashlight I bought her a while back on her lanyard and she is lighting up the hallways just like me.”

“That’s our girl! We’re blessed with a wonderful child!”

“Like mother, like daughter!”

“You’re so sweet!”

“Now baby, I’m not sure where the tornado is, but please go in the bathtub and cover yourself with a thick blanket!”

“Okay, I will. Do I have to let you go?”

“No. Stay on the line with me, at least until the warning expires. But if the call drops, just know that I love you.”

“I love you too and I won’t be at ease until you and our daughter are home and safe in my arms!”

“I love you, Mommy!” Their little girl called out.

Suddenly a horrible roaring sound was heard…

Back to “Works of Fiction”

How Zachary Met Tiffany-The New Generation Gap

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

On an overcast evening, Zachary Moore had driven to the mall to compare prices on some items he planned to buy when his SSDI check would be deposited in a few days. The reason why he was drawing SSDI was that he had injured his back whilst working as a roustabout in the shipyards six years ago. After the injury, he applied for a low-income apartment and was granted one four months later. He was a lonely twenty-five-going-on-twenty-six-year-old, but kept busy writing and working on computers. He had been employed, nearly full time from the ages of fifteen to nineteen, first as a shopping cart attendant then as a shipyard roustabout when he turned eighteen.

Meanwhile, Tiffany Taylor had snuck out of her parents’ house and went hang out with friends at the mall. She had been out of high school for over a year, but unable to land any sort of job. She had been growing up in such a toxic environment for the past nineteen years and desperately wanted out. Her parents were constantly at each others’ throats and took out the remainder of their frustrations on her, verbally, emotionally, and even physically. Still, she was nervous about all the human trafficking stories she had seen and heard and was raised in an extremely religious home, so she was still a virgin and wanted to stay that way until she met her future husband. Her parents refused to let her date though because she was under their roof with no real job. She had enough, hence sneaking out with her friends, in the first place. She also needed a ride to the mall to buy some more art supplies. When they arrived, one of her friends proceeded to light up a joint, another one took a hit of Acid. Tiffany freaked out, grabbed her phone and her messenger bag, which was filled with her art supplies and a few other personal items, and then left the car. Storm clouds began to move in and the sky grew dark. Tiffany walked into the mall entrance then directly to a locally owned art supply store which she frequented. It was next to Sears, where Zachary was looking at some tools and clothing. He also was in the market for a new computer that he could write on since his current computer was getting to be out of date.

They both walked out of their stores and Tiffany was walking forward, but facing sideways. Her eyes were fixated on a mural that was on the wall. She hoped one day to get a job painting murals in public spaces. Meanwhile, Zachary was writing down prices of the items he wanted in a composition book and not paying attention to where he was walking either. They bumped into each other and Zachary fell to the floor.

“Gosh durnit, my back! It hurts!” He gnashed his teeth in great pain, took several deep breaths, then looked up to see whom he bumped into.

It was as if most of the pain instantly ceased when he laid eyes on Tiffany.

She looked down at him and said, “I’m so sorry, let me help you up.”

Their hands met and there was even more of a spark of attraction.

“Do you need medical attention?” Tiffany asked.

“I think I’ll be fine. I just need to rest on a bench for a while.”

Tiffany then pulled Zachary to his feet and asked, “Could I walk you to a bench? I want to make sure you’re all right.”

“Sure. I don’t mind.” They walked.

“How’s your back now?”

“Still hurts, but just slightly.”

There was an awkward silence, then Tiffany asked, “You’re not going to sue me, are you?”

“No. I wouldn’t have a case anyway, my back was damaged years prior to this. So it’s very sensitive.”

“You’re just being nice.”

“No. It’s true. I injured my back on the job six years ago and have been drawing disability ever since.”

“How old are you?”

“I’m 25 and will be 26 on February 1st.”

“Wow, you don’t look that old. I mean, you’re really cute.”

“Thank you for the kind compliment, but you need not sweet-talk me, I promise I won’t sue for even a penny.”

“No. I really mean it, you’re cute.”

They both blushed but then Zachary asked, “How old are you? You may think I am cute, but I must not keep company with a minor.”

“I’m nineteen but I will be twenty on April 26th.”

“I see.”

“So what is your name?”

“Zachary Moore, but those who like me call me Zack.”

“Well, I’d like to call you Zack, then.” They both blushed, then Tiffany continued, “I’m Tiffany Taylor, by the way.”

“That’s a pretty name.”

“Thanks. How do you feel about me calling you Zack?”

“Quite happy.”

“Because I like you?”

“Yes.”

“Is there a chance you like me as well?”

“Well, I tell you the truth, I was in a great deal of pain when I fell, but I beheld your pretty face, and in that very moment 90% of the pain ceased. I must have had a rush of endorphins.”

“Aww. You’re really sweet to tell me that.”

“It’s true, you know.”

They both blushed again.

Tiffany then asked, “So what’s in your composition book?”

“Oh, this? I wrote some prices down for items that I plan to purchase shortly. I’m researching to get the best possible deal.” Zachary paused then said, “Also I have some ideas for stories I am working on.”

“Wow, you’re a writer?”

Zachary blushed, then said, “Yes. I always wanted to pursue a career as a writer, but couldn’t stomach the additional academic requirements. I was employed from the ages of fifteen to nineteen but would write on my days off. I read volumes of online tutorials to improve my grammar.”

“That’s amazing. Could you share your story ideas with me?”

“Sure.”

Zachary began to read to Tiffany.

She stared at him, smiling from ear to ear.

Suddenly, she felt slight distress as she asked “Do you have any girlfriend or wife?”

“No. I am wholly single.”

“That’s hard to believe, I mean you’re cute, you’re sweet and you write these beautiful stories.”

“But I am afflicted with a wretched disability, so no women desire me.”

“It’s their loss.”

“Thank you, that means a great deal to me!”

“What is your living situation?”

“I live alone in a low-income apartment.”

“At least you have your own place, I stay with my parents and they are always in a bad mood and constantly bicker. They are uptight about everything I like and take out all their anger on me.”

“Seems to me that they are suffering from a lack of intimacy.” Zachary blushed then said, “Oh, sorry that came out wrong.”

No, I think you’re right. I’ve never once seen them show any affection towards each other.”

“I would never desire a relationship such as that. I mean if I was blessed with a special someone in my life, I would forever be showering her with my affections.”

“You’re really sweet. I know that you say no one wants you and I truly think that it’s their loss. Do you think it could be my gain?”

“Yes. I’d desire that wholeheartedly!”

“Then why don’t you ask me out?”

“Very well, Tiffany Taylor, will you be my girlfriend? I don’t have very much to offer, but I solemnly promise to make you my queen and shower you with affection, if you say yes. And not only that, I promise you my time, my loyalty, and my fidelity.”

Tiffany’s eyes twinkled as she beamed, then nodded several times and strongly embraced him as she spoke, “Oh most definitely, yes, Zack Moore!”

Zachary put his arms around Tiffany as well and held her close to him.

She rested her head on his chest for just a moment, to which he kissed the top of her head.

“That’s sweet, but I want a real kiss.”

“Very well,” Zachary replied.

Both were filled with giddiness as their eyes closed, their faces met and their lips pressed for a moment then sucked with passion.

Fireworks went off in both of their minds as they exchanged several more kisses until a security guard shouted, “Halt! Knock off with the kissing right this instant or I am kicking both of you out of my mall!”

“Could I have your phone number, for us to keep in contact?” Zachary asked.

“Of course, you silly goose! I was hoping you’d ask.”

Tiffany then pulled a blank piece of paper out of her messenger bag, tore it in half, then wrote her cell phone number on one piece. She then handed it along with her pencil and the blank piece to Zachary, to which he wrote his number on the other and handed it back to her. Subsequently, they programmed the numbers in each others’ phones.

Tiffany noticed the clock on her phone and became nervous as she spoke, “Oh no, it’s 5:15 my parents will be home soon.”

Seconds later there was a tremendously loud crash of thunder.

She assumed the fetal position and began to rock back and forth, then said, “I have no ride home and I don’t want to walk home because I am deathly afraid of lightning. Some friends drove me to the mall, but then I left them when I saw they had drugs. They probably wouldn’t give me a ride now.”

Zachary held her gently and said, “I can drive you home, but I respect you far too much to drive you home in this sort of weather, thereby placing you in danger of an accident.”

It now began to rain in torrents as the lightning fiercely flashed and the thunder angrily rumbled.

“You’re right. It’s just my parents will be furious when they get home and I’m not there. Of course, they’ll be furious with me regardless.”

“Would they ever strike you?”

“Yes.”

“Good Lord! Even though you’re an adult.”

“They said that if I don’t like it, that’s tough because I’m under their roof. They’ve even burned my paintings that I could have sold simply because they want me to work hard for a living.”

“I think they’re miserable and they believe you ought to be miserable as well.”

“They would also throw in how they paid for my education in catholic school for all those years and I’m not doing anything with it.” She paused then said, “It was the arts program at my school that made me want to be an artist. Of course, then, they would accuse me of being smart-aleck.”

“I despised going to school, to the point where I dropped out and became employed. I knew early on that high school taught very few useful things. To me, high school is a deliberately broken system used by this wretched society of ours to crush the wonderous spirits of youth and turn them into compliant, soul-less drones. All a high school degree proves is that the holder of it can do many tasks that he or she desires not to do. Most employers demand people exactly like that, sadly. I wish I would have paid more attention in English because it’s just now that I am catching up on my grammar skills.”

“Wow! I’ve noticed that too. It’s just I had no choice but to go to school.”

“Let me guess, your parents would beat you if you didn’t, right?”

“Exactly.”

“My parents agreed that I would work as much as legally possible if I dropped out. I’m glad they made me work because now I have a pretty decent income from SSDI.”

“When did you drop out?”

“I was seventeen and still a freshman.”

“Wow! But you write and speak so eloquently.”

“Thank you!”

“And you do come out with brilliant ideas. To tell the truth, I would love to have you read to me while I paint.”

“And I would love to examine your paintings and be inspire to write even more.”

“Where have you been all my life, Zack?”

“Oh nowhere really, but I do think there was a reason why we bumped into each other!”

“So do I!” Tiffany paused, then continued, “How much money do you get a month?”

“$1024.”

“Wow, that’s about the same my mom clears in a month. And how much is your rent?”

“It’s like two hundred something.”

“The utilities are fairly cheap, I don’t subscribe to cable, my cell phone is only $50 a month which provides me unlimited talking and texting and I subscribe to home Internet at a significant discount. I also receive a few dollars worth of nutritional benefits.”

“Wow. You have it made then!”

“Yes. And I’m willing to support you, and even spoil you if you so desire.”

“My parents wouldn’t like you since you’re a high school dropout, living in the projects on disability, and they would think your writing is a waste of time, but I like you, a lot.”

“You’re a legal adult you know.”

“I know, that’s why I am here talking with you instead of cooped up in my parents’ house doing endless chores.”

“I feel very honored that you are here with me and I just hope and pray it continues.”

“You’re so sweet, and cute I know I already said it, but I can’t help it. You’re also very smart. My parents would find ways to keep us apart though unless you were like a strong catholic.”

“I’m not catholic but a Christian. I converted at the age of nineteen.”

“What were you before?”

“My family was catholic, but I saw right through it at an early age.”

“How did you convert?”

“I was employed in the shipyards and there was this attractive woman who was interested in me. It was a Friday, September 29, 2006, and she was planning to have me meet her after work. I won’t lie, she wanted to fornicate with me. I was quite excited in anticipation for that night. Needless to say, I was very distracted and feeling so overconfident that I attempted to lift a heavy piece of pipe all by myself and had crudely announced that I would be laying pipe that night to my buddies. As further I attempted to lift that miserable pipe, my back gave out and was instantly ruined. I was in such grievous pain that I was rushed to the hospital and not able to visit that woman. When she learned how I was now disabled, she didn’t desire me anymore. I later found out that she has genital herpes, genital warts and God only knows what else. I required surgery on my back to repair the damage. While I was laid up at the hospital, the chaplain visited me, preached The Gospel to me, and subsequently prayed with me. I came to Christ right at that very moment and never looked. The surgery was successful since the doctors prevented the damage from spreading, but informed me of how I could never do any physical labor again.”

“Are you still a virgin?”

Zachary hung his head, almost in shame, then blushed then nodded.

“Don’t worry about it, I am as well!” Tiffany said as she kissed him, then continued, “By the way, our relationship will be very special!”

“My God, Tiffany you’re right! If I was ever content at being a twenty-five-year-old virgin, it is in this very moment.” Zachary paused, then continued, “I had been praying for years that God send me someone to love, and I must admit, He knew what he was doing when He sent you!”

“I know we just met, but I never felt this way about anyone the way I feel about you!” Tiffany confessed as she kissed him.

“The feeling is mutual. I mean I’ve been attracted to other females before, but, you remind me of a good character that which I would write about.”

“Aww. Maybe that’s why I like the stories you’ve told me so far, because I somehow identify with your characters, at least the good ones.”

“Thank you so much! I have fulfilled my literary purpose if I am provoking those very emotions from you!”

“If it wasn’t a sin, I would want your body. But not just your body, your entire being.” Tiffany’s face then sunk as she asked, “Are you even able to perform at intimacy though? I know your back is messed up.”

Zachary caressed her gently softly looked into her eyes and spoke, “I certainly am. The surgery was quite expensive but my company furnished the payments for it and the damage to my nerves that connect my spine to my reproductive organ was fully corrected. God had to have had a hand in it.” Zachary paused, kissed her, and then continued, “Now I think I know why!”

“In a very big way, I’m kind of glad no one else wanted you because that means I’ll have you all to myself,” Tiffany said as she grabbed him and stole a kiss.

Zachary’s face suddenly grew distressed.

Tiffany’s quickly noticed and then asked also with distress, “Did I say something wrong?”

Zachary gently held her and soberly replied, “No. You did not. However, God just spoke to me and said that we must needs forego intimate relations until marriage. It’s almost as if I think God would reverse the healing to my nerves if we engaged in carnal relations before exchanging those vows.”

“You’re right. Then we would become like my parents and drift further and further apart.”

“May it never be!”

“We can wait until marriage, though.” Tiffany paused, then asked in a puppy dog voice, “Would you even want me to marry you though?”

“I most certainly would! However, we would have to be wed without a marriage license, which means no catholic priest would perform the ceremony. I know of a few Christian pastors who would though.”

“Why no marriage license?”

“Because I would lose my Medicaid coverage in the event you were legally married to me and became a successful artist or even worked a regular job.”

“That’s fine, we don’t need a piece of paper, just God’s recognition.”

“Marriage is none of the government’s business anyway! Notice how everything the government touches, eventually rots.”

“Well, I only would want to be an artist, nothing else.”

“Then I fully support you in that endeavor! I dread the very thought of you slaving away in an occupation of which you’re not absolutely happy with.” Zachary kissed her, then continued, “I’ll even purchase your art supplies.”

“Where will I stay, though? If my parents find out that we are together and you bought me those supplies, they will destroy all of it and then beat me.”

“Then they are brazenly violating your personal space, your sacred body, and your priceless dignity.”

There was a bright flash of lightning followed by a piercing thunder roll. Seconds later, the current supplying the mall with electricity was disrupted.

Tiffany shrieked in terror.

Zachary quickly drew a small flashlight from his pocket and calmly switched it on.

The bright LED lit up their immediate area as Zachary said with confidence, “I always try to be prepared, so I never leave home without one of these.”

A smile returned to Tiffany’s face as she said, “You’re so sexy!”

Zachary and Tiffany began to heavily kiss and pet each other with tremendous affection by the light of the flashlight.

Minutes later, the security guards and janitors were rounding up all the customers.

One guard was speaking into a bullhorn “A tornado warning has just been issued, please follow our staff to the center of the mall!”

Zachary and Tiffany complied with the request and followed the guards with the rest of the customers.

The sky was once overcast but was now dark as midnight as Zachary and Tiffany laid down against the wall, Zachary shielding Tiffany’s body with his by the light of his flashlight.

Tiffany looked at her phone and realized there was no signal. She put her phone away and closed her eyes as Zachary held her tightly.

The roaring of the winds intensified more and more.

Both Zachary and Tiffany trembled in fear.

Tiffany began to recite the rosary out loud as the winds grew louder and glass began to break. Many mall patrons and personnel alike began to scream in terror.

Zachary then prayed out loud, “Heavenly Father, I humbly ask that you quiet and stifle this horrid storm so that no one shall be harmed and that Your Name be Glorified above all names. Please protect all of us, according to Your riches and glory. Moreso, draw everyone present nearer to You, even unto salvation. I make these requests in that Precious and Powerful Name of Your Son Jesus Christ and hereby proclaim that He is indeed God come in the flesh! Amen…”

A moment passed, then the storm quickly died down.

Everyone stayed put but a great relief of anxiety came upon all of them.

Minutes later, an all-clear was declared.

Zachary kissed Tiffany, then said, “Praise God, that terrible storm is over and we weren’t harmed!”

The room was dark, so no one could identify exactly who had prayed out loud but there were rumors throughout the mall that God heard a young man’s prayers on behalf of them and that they were indeed spared.

Tiffany helped Zachary up from the floor, as she embraced him and pelted his face with many kisses.

Hand in hand they began to walk, by the light of his flashlight when they were instructed by mall personnel to leave because there had been some structural damage. Tiffany’s phone beeped and buzzed indicating that she had a new voicemail.

Zachary said, “I guess I’ll drive you home. Call me tonight though, before you go to bed.”

Tiffany nodded as they walked to his 2004 Chevy Cobalt.
The sinking sun was starting to break through the clouds.

He opened the passenger door for her, then kissed her as she stepped in.

Afterwards, he stepped in on the driver’s side.

Both fastened their seatbelts when Tiffany said, “Let me check my voicemail, if it’s from one of my parents, you will see how horrible they are.”

She called her voicemail number, entered her PIN then activated her speakerphone feature.

There were two voicemails:

The first one was from her mom, “Tiffany Anne Taylor, where are you, little girl? You’re supposed to be at home doing chores while your dad and I are at work. It is unfair that you get to go out and have fun while mooching off of us as we slave away at our jobs. Your dad is going to tare up your hiney when he finds you, young lady. There will be other consequences as well for your rebellious behavior! Now get home immediately!”

The next one was from her dad, “Tiffany, this is your *blank* damn dad! I pay for your ****ing phone service so I expect you to answer when I ****ing call. And where in the mother****ing hell are you? You’re not at home, that’s for sure and you’re probably laying out with some lazy stupid ****ing bum. When I find out who that good for nothing son of a ***** is I am going to blow his **** for brains out with my .357 Magnum, then pour gasoline on his useless body and set it ablaze while roast some mother****ing marshmallows over it then I’m going to shove those marshmallows down your ****ing throat. Afterwards, I’ll flush his worthless ashes down my filthy ****ing toilet that you didn’t clean. Then I am going to beat your ungrateful *** to a mother****ing pulp until it ****ing bleeds and I’ll burn all of your *blank* damn stupid paintings. Then I’m going to blast your stupid ****ing computer with my 10 gauge shotgun to make damn sure all of your filthy creations of yours are destroyed. Finally, I’m going to smash your ****ing TV and radio with my *blank* damn sledgehammer, because all you watch and listen to on there is pure ****ing trash that teaches you how to be a spoiled degenerate brat. I work way too ****ing hard for you to lay on your fat ****ing *** all *blank* damn day drawing those trashy pictures and ****ing around with those bums. You need to get a real ****ing job and stop living in this *blank* damn fantasy world. You will come home right this ****ing instant if you know what is *blank* damn good for you!”

Zachary had become pale as a glass of fresh milk.

Tiffany spoke, “Despite what my dad said in there, I’m still a virgin and deep down he knows it because he is possessive of my virginity.”

Zachary quickly collected himself and spoke, “I believe you. And just so you know, I would never use that sort of language in front of a woman or girl. However, we must needs make a backup copy of these threatening messages in the case your dad terminates your phone service.”

“How can we do that?”

“I have a voice recorder app on my phone.”

At once, Tiffany played both of those messages again while Zachary recorded them to his phone’s internal storage.

Tiffany then spoke as tears were flowing profusely from her eyes, “I never want to go home again. I’m afraid of what will happen to me and worse what will happen to you.”

“We need to show this to the Justice of the Peace and have a restraining order placed against your dad. All of his guns will be confiscated and he will be immediately arrested if he comes near us. That is if you’re in agreement with doing so.”

“Yes. I am. I know what his temper is like and what he is capable of.”

Zachary looked at his watch which indicated 6:05. He then spoke, “Well we cannot see the Justice of the Peace until tomorrow morning, but it’s best we lay low.”

“Yes. I don’t want my dad to see us together.”

“Was he always so ill-tempered?”

“As far as I can remember.”

“Well I knew a lack of intimacy can put anyone on edge, but Good Lord, he takes it to the extreme.”

“I learned in my preteens that when a woman has a full hysterectomy, she loses all interest in sex and can become very cold-hearted. And when a man stops having intimacy, he is easily angered, by anything and everything. My parents never had any kids after me and I noticed that they were always angry at me. My older siblings said they used to be pleasant before I was born.” Tears rolled down Tiffany’s face once again and her voice broke as she said, “That means I’m an accident and they never wanted me.”

Zachary wiped Tiffany’s tears with his shirt as he gently rubbed her face and said, “You’re not an accident at all. I prayed for years that God would send you to me and now he has. You’re going to be a great artist one day and I just hope that you’ll have me by your side, maybe even using my stories for inspiration.”

“Yes, of course. I always thought I would end up marrying a man who is just like my dad, but you are so sweet and gentle. You’re nothing like him. I mean, you speak and write like the Puritan ministers I learned about in American English my Junior year and he speaks as if he were possessed by a legion of demons. I was hesitant to ask you if I could stay at your place, because, I still didn’t know what kind of man you were. However, when you said those prayers and God stopped that tornado, I knew you must have a clean heart because God wouldn’t answer the prayers of a man with wicked intentions. So, could I stay with you? I mean I have nowhere else to go.”

“I would be honored for you to stay with me. You can even have my bed and I will sleep on my futon in the living room.”

“How big is your bed?”

“Full-sized.”

“Then you could share your bed with me. I wouldn’t mind.”

“Believe me, I tremendously desire to hold you while we slumber. I just don’t want to provoke the chastening rod of my Heavenly Father.”

“You’re right.”

“I’d rather be obedient to my God and therefore have you by my side for a lifetime than have a few fleeting moments of immense pleasure with you, only to later lose you.”

“You indeed are a good man, Zack. I’m so happy I found you!”

Zack smiled from ear to ear, then blushed until he was red in the face as he said, “Thank you, Tiffany. No one has ever told me that before.”

“Why don’t we go to your place? I am a little hungry though.”

“I was going to get us some corn dogs and cherry soda, but then the mall was damaged. What would you like?”

“Do you have any food at home?”

“I have a pound of ground beef, some vegetables, a jar of sauce, some pasta, some cheeses, herbs, and spices. How would you like spaghetti and meatballs from scratch?”

“I would love that!”

“Are you okay with eating meat on a Friday?”

“It doesn’t bother me.”

“Good, because that rule is nowhere in the Bible, rather, it was created by the roman catholic church for corrupt financial reasons.”

“I’m beginning to also think that catholicism is phony. When I started to pray the rosary, the winds became more violent, but when you prayed, the storm quickly calmed down.” Tiffany paused then said, “I want what you have.”

“I’d be honored for you to come to church with me. My pastor can explain it better than I can.”

“I’ll come with you to church or anywhere else.”

Zachary started his car, then began to pray, “Heavenly Father, please grant us safe travels. Please also open up Tiffany’s heart and ears for what my pastor tells her. Please also keep Tiffany and me together forever and may our relationship perpetually honor and glorify You. May we always treat each other with kindness, respect, and even reverence. May we always show each other affection and strive to be unequivocally faithful to one another. Protect us from all those who wish to do harm. I love you Heavenly Father and I make all of these requests in Your Son Jesus’ Holy Name. Amen. And thank You, Lord.”

“I love hearing you pray. You sound even better than the priest at my high school, who was so repetitive.”

Zachary blushed again and said, “Thank you. I just pray when God tells me to pray. He helps me find the words.”

With that, Zachary put his car in gear then drove his car through the rain-soaked roads and highways until they came to his apartment complex on the outskirts of the city. They walked up his steps and into his front door just as the sun was going down…

Back to “The New Generation Gap”

A Review of the Energizer Weatheready LED Floating Lantern

Just for the record, I do not own the featured image on this page. It is the property of Energizer Holdings, LLC.

I have written a decent amount on how there are American Equivalents of the Eveready Dolphin and the Energizer Weatheready LED Floating Lantern is what triggered my discovery of them. It is also what this piece will be a review thereof.

One day, in April of 2015, I discovered that the battery in my Ford Taurus was dead. I was visiting my grandparents when I made this unfortunate discovery. So, I used my Paw Paw’s car (a Buick Century, which would later become my car) to give myself a jump. Once my Taurus cranked, I took it to Wal Mart to exchange for a new battery, since it was under warranty. Well, long story short, it turns out my starter was bad. I had driven through some flooded streets a few weeks prior and I believe this is what shorted out my starter. There is also a severe problem with the design of the 2007 Ford Taurus that causes oil and possibly other engine fluids to leak on the starter and short it out because it is located in a very unfortunate place. My vehicle was totally disabled by this point and I was parked near the automotive area.

All in all, while waiting for a wrecker to come, I, as usual, had gone to look at the flashlights in Wal*Mart.

There I saw it, an Energizer Weatheready LED floating lantern.

It looked very cool! Some time prior, I had read about the Eveready Dolphin Lanterns that were sold in Australia and New Zealand and this looked like an Americanized version of them

Not only that, after reading the specs, I learned it boasted an output of 150 Lumens with a beam distance of 365 Meters or ~1197.5 Feet and a runtime of 35 hours.

Even though I knew I would be hit with an expensive car repair bill and money would be tight, I knew I just had to have one of these. I mean it was only ~$10, but I was married at the time and on a fixed income.

After I went home, I began to research the new flashlight I saw. I began to learn that other American flashlights had a Dolphin version of them.

I was glued to my computer indefinitely.

So, in a few days, my car was fixed and life was back to normal.

I sold a few hand tools to a friend and was able to get the cash, to which I subsequently made a beeline to Wal Mart and purchased it.

I then went to The Family Dollar and purchased a battery.

A few days later, there was some severe weather that was passing through my area.

Upon learning of a tornado warning issued for our parish, my then-wife now ex-wife and I had to evacuate our second-story apartment with little more than the clothes on our back. I had a Mini Maglite AAA LED flashlight in my pants pocket and my new lantern in my hand. The sky became dark as night, even though it was midmorning.

It subsequently came in handy, many times especially when I was out walking after dark. Remember, this was 2015, so LED flashlight technology wasn’t as advanced as it is now. I think it truly modernized in 2017, but I digress. I used to walk for exercise a lot back then and I think I should start doing this again. I was indeed considerably skinnier in 2015 than I am now.

The lantern had the best of both worlds: A wide spill of generous light and a pinpoint beam that could light up objects more than three football fields away. It was kind to the batteries that powered it, even when using a cheap Carbon Zinc battery. I had once dropped mine of concrete and thus failed to maintain a Christian vocabulary, but it still survived and functioned as if nothing happened to it.

It truly was an awesome flashlight, quite possibly the best plastic flashlight for the money. The given specs are true, unlike with some flashlights whose marketing departments tend to exaggerate things.

Unfortunately, Energizer discontinued it at some point in 2016. I actually purchased another one on clearance to give to my grandparents for their 70th wedding anniversary. After they passed in 2018 and 2019, it was given back to me.

I don’t get Energizer at all, they make some really nice consumer-grade flashlights, but then they are very quick to pull them from the market. However, they also make some junky flashlights but keep those on the market for decades, sometimes. I can think of many flashlights that are no longer made but should be. I have even written at length about this in the past, on forums, on social media, and even on this blog.

If you’re wondering what happened to this lantern, I am writing about, I’m glad to say that I still have it and I still use it, though not as extensively as I once did. My ex-wife and I split up the community property amicably and I kept most of my flashlights. As for the ones I didn’t keep, I instructed her to give them to her nephews. But I did keep this flashlight.

I used it last night when we were instructed by our government officials to conserve electricity for a few hours. So, I put my central heat to 68 degrees, unplugged most of my electronics, and turned off the lights. For entertainment, I did AM DXing on a battery-powered Sony radio, mostly listening to the clear channel powerhouse WSB out of Atlanta. I used that lantern as a light source instead of turning on the electric lights.

It has served me faithfully during the last few hurricanes as well.

All in all, this was one of the better flashlights made by Energizer.

Well, all the American versions of the Eveready Dolphin are made well.

And the Eveready Dolphin is tremendously popular in Australia and New Zealand that I think it even has commercials for it aired during soap operas!

I make it a point when talking to any Aussie to ask him or her about the Eveready Dolphin and they all immediately had something to say, usually positive.

I don’t think any American flashlight has ever had that kind of universal familiarity, by the way, although Maglite comes close but by a very long shot.

What else can I say?

There may now be flashlights that can throw a beam and have efficient battery use that is more compact, but can they float in the event of going overboard?

Probably not.

So even though this flashlight would be considered bulky and awkward by many, it still is a winner and I hope Energizer comes out with another American version of the Eveready Dolphin soon.

That’s all for now.

Thank you for taking the time to read this piece and I sincerely hope that you, the reader, have been informed and entertained.

May God richly bless you!

Back to “Product Reviews”

Garrity Flashlights have Fallen from Grace

Just for the record, I do not own the featured image.

It is the property of Smart Brands International.

I like the old school Garrity image with the sunburst better, but I chose to use their current logo because this piece is about how Garrity has fallen from grace.

I associate their old sunburst logo with their glory days, the likes of which we will probably never see again.

So, for the past few weeks, I have been romanticizing the flashlights that were on the market during the mid-2000s decade.

I had been highly fascinated by flashlights as a child, but then suppressed the interest in my teens years due to fear of harassment by peers for liking them.

In 2005, I realized that flashlights are indeed cool, and no longer did I care if someone was to harass me for liking flashlights. The strange thing is, no one harassed me like they did in grade school simply for liking flashlights and some even joined me in my flashlight hobby.

I guess that is why I am currently romanticizing the flashlights made during the mid-2000’s decade, because it was the time in my life when I finally mustered up the courage to embrace what I love, no matter what anyone else thought.

Also, there were some very nice flashlights on the market at this time.

It was a time of heated battle between the light bulb and the LED. During this particular time, the light bulb was still winning, at least in terms of brightness, throw and color temperature.

Spoiler Alert: Several years later (in about 2012 or so) the LED would ultimately win all of these categories except in terms of being EMP proof.

So lately, I’ve been looking at flashlight company websites that were archived in The Wayback Machine between 2004 and 2007.

This activity has provided me with hours of entertainment and reminiscing.

There are three companies of which I had been extensively looking at archived versions of their websites:

…Maglite…
…Streamlight…
…AND…
…Garrity…

I had known about Garrity and Maglite since about 1998, but wouldn’t learn of Streamlight until October 24, 2004, when I saw their Stinger flashlight being sold at the then newly opened Academy Sports and Outdoors. I wouldn’t own one of their lights until some time in 2009. I actually was tempted to purchase a Streamlight Junior (the Xenon version) in January of 2006 but forewent the purchase and now I could kick myself for not seizing that opportunity. It is now discontinued and extremely rare now. At the moment I currently EDC the LED version of the Streamlight Junior and have done so since January of 2019. Academy used to sell some awesome flashlights in those days, not so much now, but I digress.

In this piece, I will focus on Garrity and how they have fallen from grace probably worse than any other flashlight company out there.
Change my mind!

Maglite has seen its ups and downs but as of now, they are making some fairly nice flashlights.

Likewise, Streamlight has always been awesome and in 2021, they are cooler than ever, though I wish they would bring back some of their vintage models just for old time sake. Plus I didn’t know about Streamlight until I was 17, so I wish they could bring back some of those vintage products just to give their more recent fans a taste of their original glory!

Garrity, on the other hand, used to be such a wonderful company, but now they are pretty pathetic. All of their current and designs look and feel flimsy. Their brightness is only marginal, especially when compared against Eveready/Energizer, their most similar competitor.

From the 1980s until about 2007, though, Garrity was making some pretty nice flashlights and it seemed they had a model for just about every market.

I do remember growing up how a lot of the men in my neighborhood had a Garrity Tuff Lite (the 1990s version.) By the way, the most recent incarnation of the Tuff Lite is pathetic, but the 1980s and 1990s versions of the Tuff Life were probably one of the best consumer flashlights out there. Their Krypton bulbs seemed to cast out such a pure white beam, even when used with simple cheap Carbon Zinc or Carbon Zinc Chloride (don’t let the phrase Heavy Duty fool you) batteries. I was given one for Christmas in 1998 and I still have it though, I need to do some restoration on it. The same quality was with their Rugged Lite series, which was introduced in 1994 but sadly discontinued sometime in 2004. That, by the way, was my favorite flashlight before I discovered tactical flashlights. My favorite version was the yellow 2AA model, which I first bought in June of 1998. I had a 4AA Garrity Touch ‘N’ Lite in my closet as a preteen. When I decided to permanently carry a flashlight on me (May 5, 2005), the model of my choice was a Garrity K009, which was a compact, almost tactical 3AAA LED flashlight that came bundled with a Nylon carrying pouch as well as red and blue lens filters. When I acquired my first job, later on in May of 2005, I EDCed a Garrity A300G. That was a 2AA Aluminum flashlight with a Xenon bulb. It was slightly similar to a Mini Maglite but sold for a few dollars cheaper. It is also probably the closest I will ever get to a Xenon Streamlight Junior! Those who know about the bulbs both of these flashlights take will get my reference…

So, if you, the reader, haven’t figured it out yet, Garrity holds a special place in my heart. Likewise, it breaks my heart to see them market these inferior flashlights that they are producing as of lately

Garrity flashlights were once sold at retailers such as Ride Aid, Wal*Mart, K*Mart, True Value, West Marine, and many truck stops.

Throughout my twenties, I had acquired many Garrity flashlights, mostly as new-old-stock at some of these retailers or on eBay.

In January of 2007, I bought a GTech LED at Wal*Mart whilst pulling an all-nighter and going out on a drive with my then-girlfriend, now ex-wife.

In the Fall of 2007, Garrity was doing remakes of some of their classic products and selling them at The Ruble, I mean, The Dollar General and The Family Dollar. I was able to get some Tuff Lites which were almost identical to the 1990s versions.

In 2011, on two separate occasions, my then-wife, now ex-wife bought me a Garrity G-Tech Floating Lantern on clearance at West Marine. When I left her, in January of 2018, I gave them back to her. Don’t get me wrong, they were built very well and they could sure cast a very sharp beam, but I was feeling a mixture of guilt and pride when I left her, and I didn’t want to keep anything she gave me aside from a pair of work boots.

I will say that while my marriage to this woman was faulty, there were some good times.

I now think that it was brain damage due to complications from her hydrocephalus that altered her personality and made her so mean.

There’s only so much I could take and in my defense, I stood by her for almost eight years after she sustained the brain damage.

Also in 2011, after seeing me post so much about it, a fellow member on CandlepowerForums mailed me a Garrity Mini Rugged Lite, which I have on my desk while I am typing this piece.

In 2013 and 2015, I purchased an iBeam 6 Volt Floating Lantern from Rite Aid. The green lantern from 2013 was NOS but the blue lantern from 2015 was brand new as Garrity had been revived. The former was better than the latter.

In 2016, I purchased an LED Tuff Lite, on eBay, thinking it would be great, but it broke a few days later, with only gentle use.

It was about that time when I realized that while Garrity had been revived, these new products were inferior.

I don’t understand how a company that once made some pretty nice flashlights now makes pee poor flashlights.

Take for example their current product line (and my scathing commentary):

9 LED 3AAA Flashlight: This is just a rebadged mass-produced cheap flashlight that would normally sell for $1 apiece but the price is jacked up a few more dollars because the name Garrity is on it. Don’t tighten the tailcap too much or it will crack!

2AA/2D Value Lite: This design of this flashlight was stolen from a similar flashlight that Energizer made in the early 2000s. Since Garrity or whoever owns them at this point wants to bring back designs from that era, how about using their own instead?

Navigator 2AA LED Flashlight: This is nothing more than a rebadged Duracell Voyager. It’s a fairly decent light but why can’t Garrity be more original like they once were?

Rugged LED Flashlight: This one is an abomination and personal to me! First of all, this is simply a rebadged Duracell Industrial. It will never be as cool as the original Garrity Rugged Lite of the 1990s which was my favorite flashlight as a child! Furthermore, if it is built like the Duracell Industrial, then it will crack all-too-easily. Seriously, why couldn’t Garrity have built it like their Rugged Lite of bygone times and simply fit it with a PR based LED module? Oh, right that would make too much sense and maybe make too many people happy!

Trailblazer LED Flashlight: This may be the only [halfway] decent flashlight in their product line. I cannot complain about the specs, but I wonder exactly how rugged this flashlight is and what grade of Aluminum is used in its construction. Furthermore, why can’t it be anodized with a black finish? Finally, I think the switch boot sticks out a bit too much.

G-Tech 2D LED Flashlight: This looks nothing like the original G-Tech and if my memory serves me correctly this current design was stolen from Rayovac. Just for the record, sorry folks, there is no cool multi-tool hidden inside either!

LED Touch ‘N Lite: A modern twist on a classic. Well, except I think since it has LEDs instead of a KPR bulb the run time of just 16 hours could be significantly improved, but what do I know?

LED Work Light Penlight: A cross between a rebadged Duracell Daylite and a knockoff of one of Streamlight’s penlights? Again, Garrity used to have their own independent and original ideas! Now they feel the need to take from others just to stay relevant? What is even more agonizing is that this excuse for a flashlight puts out a measly 45 Lumens for only 1 hour despite running on 2 AAA batteries. Those poor specs were never acceptable.

60 Lumen Headlamp: Here we have Garrity trying hard but failing to be like Streamlight. I mean it would be a pretty neat light if the design were Garrity’s original work and it was 2006, not 2021!

ibeam100 Headlamp: Looks original, indeed, but flimsy. Probably would only be useful in a corporate or academic setting for a facility director doing close up work. However, it only has one output setting and that is 100 Lumens which would likely be inappropriate for most close-up work.

Tuff MP: A multipurpose (as the MP initials suggest) two in one flashlight. I must say, this actually looks original but is neither cool nor tuff (sic.) It looks just as flimsy as almost anything else Garrity makes these days.

ibeam LED Lantern: This is certainly nothing like their original iBeam lanterns. In fact, this design was stolen from Rayovac. Gosh durnit, Garrity, couldn’t you have retained the original iBeam design and maybe just fitted it with a nice PR LED module?

LED Safety Keylite: I must admit that this looks neat and original, but the good looks don’t compensate for the shoddy performance. It gives off a measly 12 Lumens on a single AAA battery. Maybe, just maybe if it were constructed of metal instead of plastic not only could it be more rugged but a more powerful LED engine could be used. But that would mean making flashlights that are actually nice.

LED LifeLite: The website claims new and improved. I smell bovine droppings! First of all, this light gives off only 53 Lumens despite being driven by the equivalent of 3AA batteries. Secondly, it only runs for 9 hours, then it must be chucked. Not very green at all! Actually, in 2015 whatever company makes flashlights for the Wal*Mart brand Ozark Trail borrowed this idea and managed to improve on it by instead offering it to be run on 3 replaceable AA batteries, but with the otherwise same form factor.

That, my friends, is a list of all the flashlights currently made under the Garrity name.

Please know that while I at times felt pretty smug and even witty in writing these not so nice reviews, that I am heartbroken and tremendously disappointed that a flashlight company that I once loved in my childhood is now, this heartless soul-less conglomerate with cheesy knock-offs.

I don’t know what goes on in these board rooms but whatever the case it is neither wise nor fruitful. Consumers are more informed than ever these days and they now know a sub-par flashlight when they see one. If Garrity would start making flashlights like they did before this proverbial fall from grace and incorporated modern LED technology, then they just might be restored to their former glory. I won’t hold my breath for that though. While I may be respected amongst the flashlight community, these directors in these board rooms don’t give a single durn about what I have to say.

Well because of that, they have lost a once faithful and loyal customer.

Furthermore, those of you who know me well enough know how much I love flashlights and equally know that if I am saying anything ill about a flashlight, I am not taking any pleasure in my words.

I would have liked to elaborate more on this, but maybe I will in the form of fiction quite possibly about a young couple honeymooning in a lakeside cottage and enjoying some alone time by the light of a vintage Garrity lantern on a stormy late afternoon. I could incorporate a Radio Shack Weather Cube and some other cool gadgets as well! Radio Shack is another company I loved that fell from grace by the way.

All in all, this concludes my piece.

I hope you, the reader, have been informed…

Thank you for reading and God bless.

Back to “Articles I have Written”

 

 

 

 

 

A Review of the NiteCore i4000R Tactical Flashlight

Just so you, the reader, know, I do not own the featured image on this page. Rather it is the property of NiteCore, a Chinese manufacturer of tactical grade flashlights.

I have stated it several times before and I will gladly state it again:

Flashlights made by NiteCore are the best flashlights to come out of Mainland China and quite possibly, the best products to come out of Mainland China period.

I have been a fan of NiteCore flashlights since mid-2017 when I purchased the MT06 tactical penlight.

In January of 2018, I subsequently purchased a NiteCore MT20A and in the latter parts of that year, wrote a review of it.

Then in April of 2020, I purchased a NiteCore i4000R from the Special Administrative Region of Hong Kong on eBay and it took over a month to arrive in my mailbox. That said tactical flashlight is what this piece will be a review thereof.

In the time it took for this flashlight to traverse its warehouse in Hong Kong to my mailbox on the outskirts of Houma, Louisiana, I was getting quite annoyed and anxious. I was also paranoid about it being contaminated with the Novel 2019 SARS Coronavirus. Still, I was quite excited when it finally arrived. Immediately, I charged up the battery and when it was full, I began carrying it in my backpack.

The NiteCore i4000R boasts a maximum light output of 4,400 Lumens-that is over four times brighter than a standard household 60 Watt bulb!

It is top-heavy and also features a crenelated strike bezel, which can be deployed in defending oneself.

If that weren’t enough, the tactical strobe feature has a constantly changing strobe pattern, making it even more effective as a self-defense weapon.

This flashlight is primarily marketed to law enforcement, but can also give peace of mind to any civilian who knows how to use a flashlight for self-defense. Furthermore, it can be carried in places where “true” weapons (such as guns and knives) are downright forbidden because legally it is not a weapon!

On an ordinary day, I will usually carry my Streamlight Junior LED flashlight.

However, if I expect any sort of trouble, I will carry my NiteCore i4000R.

I have never had to use it as a weapon, but I know it will give me at least some degree of peace.

I have used my Streamlight Junior halfway as a weapon, when confronting someone knocking on my door or my neighbor’s door at a strange hour. I must admit that both times, the person knocking was harmless and someone we knew, but they were disoriented and stepped back at least a few feet. My Paw Paw, God rest his soul, taught me the tactic of shining a bright flashlight into the eyes of someone at the door, to disorient him or her. Of course, his flashlights of choice were those budget friendly 6 Volt lanterns and, if you, the reader, haven’t figured it out by now, my flashlights of choice are lightweight, compact tactical models. His flashlights put out 60-75 Lumens but in their defense, they had the Candlepower to back those Lumens up. My flashlights, on the other hand, put out hundreds and, in this case, a few thousand Lumens, but overall, don’t have the Candlepower to back those Lumens up. However, his flashlights likely would fail in a truly tactical situation, whereas mine would still be going strong.

Except for self-defense applications, this flashlight would likely be overkill for most civilians. However, to a flashaholic such as myself, this is one of the best flashlights I own. It was even used by me as a self-defense instrument in a dream I recently had.

By the way, this is on par with the best flashlights made here in The States and even those made in Germany!

I will go over some of the features and specifications, as listed by the company website:

As I stated before, the maximum output is 4,400 Lumens, provided by four independently controlled Cree XP-L2 V6 LED circuits.

…Bare with me, my back is starting to hurt tremendously. I’m about to take a Baclofen and chase it with some orange juice. Be right back…

…All right, I am back. It’s my ex-wife’s fault that I have this back injury because she insisted we make groceries on a rainy day, and of course, trying to be a good husband, I gave in to her request, but then I slipped and fell down some wet stairs and though I didn’t know it at the time, I ruined my lower back muscles from the impact of the fall. Now I cannot even write at length, much less almost any other form of work that which I was qualified to do, because of this injury. Of course, she likely feels no guilt about this because she hated the overwhelming majority of my written content…

So with that 4,400 Lumens is a throw of 230 Meters or ~755 Feet and beam intensity of 13,300 Candlepower. According to the company website, this amount of light given off by this illumination instrument is “ideal for law enforcement, assault operations, self defense, search and patrols.”

Also, according to the company website, further elaborating on the four independently controlled LED circuits, which are, “Powered by a constant current circuit to provide durable usage with guaranteed safety.”

The featured rechargeable battery is a NiteCore patented 21700i Lithium-Ion battery.

The strobe featured can be instantly accessed by a dedicated button, even while the flashlight is off! I think this, aside from the tremendous amount of brightness if the best selling point of this flashlight.

And of course, there is the Advanced, Randomly Changing Strobe, which I think is the second best selling point! Human eyes are unable to adapt to the strobe.

There is an anti-impact reverse polarity protection system, which makes this ideal to be used mounted on a firearm!

The flashlight has a built-in charging port that uses a standard USB-C connection and is covered by a metal ring.

Also featured is an advanced temperature regulation system that adapts to the ambient temperature.

Furthermore, there is a last used mode memory, power indicator light which is accurate down to one-tenth of a volt IP-68 water resistance and a 1-meter drop impact resistance.

Finally, the lens is crystal-coated and scratch resistant and the Aerospace Aluminum body is has a military-grade HA-III hard-anodized finish!

The physical specifications are:
Tube Diameter: 25.4 millimeters or 1 inch.
Head Diameter: 32.6 millimeters or 1.28 inches-this makes the flashlight top-heavy and therefore excellent for striking in self-defense tactics.
Tail Diameter: 28 millimeters or 1.1 inches.
Overall Length: 159 millimeters or 6.26 inches-short enough to carry concealed in most hip pockets.
Total Weight: 135 grams or 4.76 ounces or just over a quarter of a pound-will not weigh the end-user down, even for a long period on foot.

The brightness levels are as follows:
Turbo Mode: 4,400 Lumens, 13,300 Candlepower, 230 Meters or ~755 Feet Beam Distance and 30 Minute Runtime.
High Mode: 1,100 Lumens, 3,300 Candlepower, 115 Meters or ~377.3 Feet Beam Distance and 2 Hour, Fifteen Minute Runtime.
…My back is starting to hurt again, but if I take another Baclofen it will be the third one in a twenty-four-hour period…
…I will try and press on but I am in a great deal of pain!…
Mid Mode: 330 Lumens, 930 Candlepower, 61 Meters or ~200.13 Feet Beam Distance and 7 Hour, 45 Minute Runtime.
Low Mode: 50 Lumens, 160 Candlepower, 25 Meters or ~82 Feet Beam Distance and 40 Hour Runtime.
Ultra-Low Mode: 2 Lumens, 4 Candlepower, 4 Meters or~13.12 Feet Beam Distance and 380 Hour Runtime.

By the way, I used the previously reviewed Texas Instruments TI-36 X Pro to convert some of these Metric Units into English Units!

I typically use it whenever I need to express any such measurement in both English and Metric units for my product reviews!

Included Accessories:
NTH20 Tactical Holster-designed specifically for law enforcement and also compatible with MOLLE systems.
CR123 Battery Magazine-in case the rechargeable battery is depleted and there is no charging source nearby.

While I do carry this flashlight in my EDC backpack, I have only carried it on my person for any given amount of time quite sparingly. The last time I carried it was because I had spotted a shady young man walking around my church at night. We were finishing up our evening Bible Study and Prayer Meeting and it does get dark this time of year, but I was escorting two ladies (a mother and daughter) home on foot and did not trust this fellow as far as I could throw him. Thank God, while I was holding the flashlight and ready to deploy it as a defensive weapon, I did not have to. My God is more effective than any weapon ever created! I could think of a handful of other times I was ready to deploy this flashlight but didn’t have to.

All in all, I definitely like this flashlight and I wish American companies could make something of this caliber but at an affordable price.

I give this product a 4.95 out of 5 stars only because I wish the tactical tail switch was better recessed to prevent accidental activation.

Other than that keep up the good work, NiteCore! As much as I hate to admit it, your company is beginning to put American and even German-made flashlights to shame!

I guess this, therefore, concludes my review of the NiteCore i4000R Tactical Flashlight. I hope you, the reader, have been informed, illuminated and maybe even entertained. May God richly bless you!

Back to “Product Reviews”

A Review of the Texas Instruments TI-36 X Pro Calculator

Just for the record, I do not own the featured image on this page. I must need give credit whereupon credit is due and the featured image is property of Texas Instruments, inc.

For almost as long as I had been fascinated by flashlights, I too have been fascinated by calculators. Similar to my fascination with flashlights, my fascination with calculators has waxed and waned throughout my childhood and adolescence, but they are both very strong in my adult years.

My two favorite brands of calculators are Casio and Texas Instruments and I like the latter a little more than the former.

I had begun permanently carrying a calculator in the latter parts of 2012, namely a TI-12 Math Explorer (the 1997 version.) In the following months afterward, I also had begun to carry with it a TI-30XA (the current version.)

In March of 2014, my writing had started to evolve, as did my experience in repairing or souping up computers had increased. I had also begun to start doing research more extensively on calculators. Soon, I had realized there was a Texas Instruments TI-36 X Pro that was put on the market some three years before that. It wasn’t long before I wanted one. In June of 2014, I had spent my spending money on a flashlight that I still carry to this day. However, a family member had gifted me $20 from a sum of money he had won at a casino. I didn’t split that money with my then-wife, now ex-wife, because after all, she has a major hang-up about gambling. So, I was free to use that money however I had pleased. We were babysitting two of her nephews that following day and I took them to ride with me to the Houma suburb of Bayou Cane, so I could secretly purchase that said calculator. They kept the secret safe with me and goofed off with me for the entire ride. I stopped at an Office Depot because I knew that was the only store that stocked it locally year-round. Sadly it was out of stock. However, after talking to the sales associate and later the manager, I had learned that I could have it shipped to my residence at no extra charge. Happily, I went with that option, paying the first $20 in cash and the remaining amount after sales tax with my debit card. A brand new TI-36 X Pro arrived on my doorstep a few days later, via UPS. And that said calculator is what this piece will be a review thereof.

As soon as it arrived on my doorstep, I opened it up, then used it to convert one unit used to measure barometric pressure into another unit used to measure barometric pressure. The weather was changing that day, as in quite frequent in Louisiana. I was amazed at the accuracy and precision with which it carried out the conversion. I began carrying it in a dedicated pouch of my EDC backpack along with the Mini Maglite I had purchased earlier that month.

Yes, I will admit that there are plenty of features on this calculator that I will probably never need, nor do I understand what they represent. While I am pretty proficient at arithmetic, I am terrible at almost all other higher level Mathematics. Still, there are certain features on this machine that I frequently use, especially when doing unit conversions or even just simply writing out my monthly budget. There are even base-n calculations such as converting between decimal, hexadecimal and octal, which come in handy with programming higher level scanner radios or if I ever needed to assist a computer programmer or coder.

And not only that, I believe this is the best looking scientific calculator that is currently on the [common] market. Change my mind!

In the days and weeks after purchasing this calculator, I went on to write some pretty wonderful stories and the one that stands out most is my “Grocer and Writer” stories. Maybe the tremendous pleasure I associated with finally owning this calculator created the ideal mental state and electrochemistry to be creative? Of course in the hours before beginning those stories, I took a trip to the New Orleans area.

I have since purchased spare units, but I keep my original TI-36 X Pro in a safe undisclosed location because it does have sentimental value.  It has sentimental value because certain items of mine cause me to have a connection with someone whom I had known in my childhood (January-July of 1991) but since lost all contact with. This calculator and flashlight somehow have that connection. I now think that this girl I had briefly known in my childhood may have been an angel because I spent years searching for her but with no success. She would now be in her mid-to-late thirties, assuming she was born between 1984 and 1987. During most of the year of 2014, which was the beginning of the end of my faulty former marriage, I had begun to desire to find this now young lady again, so I strongly associate the year 2014 in general with her. Before I met my ex-wife and even after to an extent, this girl from my childhood was the inspiration for my writing and was the unknown driving force to cause me to pursue writing. In the latter parts of 2018 until December 4/5 2019, I was in a very loving relationship with a young lady, who in many ways reminded me of the girl from my childhood and was even born in the year in which she and I were, for lack of a better word, together. If you, the reader, poke around in the fiction section of this blog, you will see some of the stories where I have derived my inspiration from this girl I once knew.

My first one came off the assembly line somewhere in China in February of 2014. My current unit, which I still EDC, came of the assembly line somewhere in The Philippines in April of 2017. I’m wondering if the updated units in the Philippines have corrected the software bug that plagued the earlier models?…

All in all, I will now list some of the features and specifications that the TI-36 X Pro has to offer:

By the way, I’ve obtained this information from the company website, but I also added my commentary…

Four-line display-very clear too!

One- and two-variable statistics-I would likely never use this feature, but who knows.

MultiView™ display shows multiple calculations at the same time on screen-Excellent for writing a budget or balancing a checking account!

Select degrees/radians, floating/fix, number format modes-Very useful with navigating with a GPS or several different GPS units!

Choose from three solvers: numeric equation, polynomial and system of linear equations-This would have been nice in high school, but probably would have landed me in trouble! This particular model came on the market five years after I graduated high school anyway.

Display a defined function in a tabular form-The best way to show a function without an actual graph!

Determine the numeric derivative and integral for real functions.
Perform vectors and matrices using a vector and matrix entry window.

The last two features involve high-level mathematics that goes way above my head, but maybe one day, I’ll try to learn it.

The TI-36 X Pro is recommended for the following STEM-related courses:
Algebra I and II-Probably forbidden or at least frowned upon because of its built-in equation solver.
Geometry-Overkill and again probably frowned upon.
Trigonometry-A Graphing model would be of more use.
Statistics-Never took this course, but I can imagine its usefulness.
Calculus-There are features that would come in handy for this course, though I never took it.
Biology-Probably overkill.
Chemistry-Probably is forbidden or at the very least frowned upon because of the permanently stored constants.
Physics-As with chemistry, it’s probably forbidden or frowned upon, for the same reasons, though I never took physics.
Computer science-Could be very useful, especially with those learning programming.
College math-Actually we were required a TI-84.
College science-Never took these courses, but I see where the store constants may be of great use.
College engineering-Never took any of these courses either, but I know this calculator is popular with all engineering.

According to the company website, here is a more detailed list of the functions, some of which I had already commented on:
Review and edit previous entries via a scrollable home screen
Paste inputs or outputs into new calculations
MathPrint™ feature entry and output mode for viewing calculations in math notation, including answers in terms of pi, square roots and fraction
Three solvers: numeric equation, polynomial and system of linear equations
Numeric derivative and integral for real functions
Vectors and Matrices
Symbolic notation of π
Toggle key to change the form of answers between exact and decimal approximation
Stacked Fractions and Fraction functions
Fraction/decimal/percent conversions
Change between improper fractions and mixed numbers
Automatic simplification of fractions
Random number and random integer generator
Central MODE menu for selecting calculator mode settings
Menu settings
Functions accessed directly through keys or through pull-down menus
Negation key
One constant operator feature
Combinations and permutations
Trigonometry
Hyperbolics
Logs and antilogs
Convert angles from degrees to radians to grads
%, x², ¹/x, yˆx, π, x!
Fixed decimal capability
(x,y) Table feature with Auto and Ask-x options
Basic Data/List Editor with three lists
List Formulas
One- and two-variable statistics with permanent stat variable input storage
EOS (Equation Operating System)
Nine physical constants
Eighteen metric/English conversions
Up to eight pending operations
Up to 23 levels of parentheses
Error recovery capability
Quick/easy reset of calculator via two-key press or menu for exam purposes
Eight memory variables (x, y, z, t, a, b, c, d)
Scientific and engineering notation

And here are some of the physical characteristics:
Four-line × 16-character, easier-to-read LCD display
Battery powered with solar cell assistance to lengthen battery life
Auto Power Off
Hard plastic, color-coded keys
Non-skid rubber feet
Impact-resistant cover with quick-reference card
Snap-on protective hard case

Even though, as I had mentioned before, there are some features on this calculator that go way above my head, it is still one of my favorites if not my favorite calculators ever made.

I carry it in a dedicated compartment of my EDC backpack where I store the rest of my tool that which I use to repair or soup up computers. Like most other Texas Instruments devices, it is built very ruggedly and will last, likely way past its obsolescence where it will then be a cool collector’s item.

While I have owned one of these is some way shape or form since June of 2014 and it is December of 2020 at the time I am writing this, I still thoroughly enjoy this device and give it a 4.85 out of 5 stars, only because of the software bug concerning fractions involving Pi.

This, therefore, concludes my review of the Texas Instruments TI-36 X Pro. I hope you, the reader, have been informed, entertained, and maybe even enlightened!

May God richly bless you!

Back to “Product Reviews”

Two Lovers Attacked by Workers of Darkness

This story came to me in a dream I had in the early morning hours of November 18, 2020.

I haven’t had a dream like this that I can recall since maybe the age of 19.

My psychiatrist wants to help me analyze my dreams I have for the next month or so and to pick out the most outstanding ones to share with him during our sessions.

This is a romantic dream to a high degree but I will state for the record now that my lover in this dream is an unknown person. She could quite possibly be my future spouse, but she is someone with whom I think I have yet to be acquainted. I have been romantically interested in quite a few young ladies who fit similar to her description, but I know it is none of them.

A tactical flashlight is used as a life saving self defense weapon in this dream.  I clearly remember from the dream that the flashlight in question was a NiteCore i4000R, for those of you that are curious.

Without further ado, here is the story:

Everything seems to be going right in my life.

I am in love with a young, fair, and sweet SSBBW. Her feelings towards me are mutual, and this truth swells my heart with elation. We bring so much happiness to each other. My only regret is that we hadn’t met sooner.

Yes, we have found happiness in each other, but now we must need to go into hiding.

There are a false prophetess and her daughter who are after us. They want to kidnap and silence me. Much worse they want to shed my lover’s innocent blood. My speculation for their ill motives is that they feel high, but unjustly, offended, maybe even threatened by the content of what I write and share with the world. Furthermore, they harbor unmatched envy for my lover, well, frankly, because she is a lady and they are whores. I have kept tabs on these wicked women for years and I am very much aware of their deep hatred for the innocent and virtuous.

So, we built a makeshift shelter on my family’s property in the neighborhood I grew up in.

We walk on the property hand in hand under the light of a full moon.

Lovingly we embrace. We press our bodies against each other, then our lips become locked in an unforgettable kiss. Deeply we stare into each others’ eyes as we are overtaken by the tide of passion. We exchange several more kisses as our tongues wrestle one another.

“You complete me like no other human being dead or alive can!” I tell her with great confidence.

“Then let me complete you even more!” She replies with a hunger and thirst in her voice.

“You are a lady and I do revere you immensely!”

“Then give me what I need!”

“Are you sure?”

“More than ever before. Now let us go to the shelter compound at once!”

“Very well, my love. Say no more!”

“Lead the way.”

We begin to briskly walk to our hideout when there is a flash brighter than the midday sun. A fractional second passes and there is a cloud of vapor surrounding us. We both collapse to the ground blacking out.

Unknown to me how much time has passed, I come to and find myself deep in the woods.

I take to my feet and scan my surroundings noticing a dark altar in the middle of the clearing.

I call out my lover’s name but am only greeted by a sinister laugh.

The false prophetess, dressed in priestly robes, and her daughter, dressed in a brown wedding dress come marching towards me.

They present me with a document, a marriage contract, to sign.

I refuse.

The false prophetess grabs my chin and says, “If you want that little girl you are playing house with to live, you will sign this contract, thereby becoming the eternal husband of my daughter.”

“I will never love her nor will I ever consummate that marriage.”

“Never say never!” The false prophetess says with an evil grin.

“What do you satanic harlots want from me?”

The daughter speaks, in a cut and dry tone, “For you to honor your past and fulfill the obligations thereof!”

I think back to the days of when I dabbled in the dark arts and grimly realize what is now required of me.”

I hang my head in shame and defeat.

But then, I am filled with a glimmer of hope as I realize that my tactical flashlight is still in my pants pocket.

So, I tell the false prophetess, “You’re right I am required to honor my past. In hopes that my lover will live, I shall humbly submit to your proposition.” I reach in my pocket for my tactical flashlight as I continue speaking, “As a measure of good faith, I will sign that document with my favorite pen, making it ever more binding.”

The false prophetess gleefully smiles as she holds the top of the contract with her left hand and the bottom with her right hand. I continue to reach for what they think is my favorite pen.

Slowly, I move.

There is a great tension in the night air.

Tarrying no more, I quickly deploy my tactical flashlight instead of my pen, then activate the high powered strobe shining it right into the false prophetess’ eyes. She turns her head away and I begin to jab her head and body multiple times with the crowned bezel of my flashlight. She growls and hisses in pain and anger, dropping the document and falling to the forest floor.

She is down but only for the moment.

I breathe a sigh of relief, but then she comes up again and advances at me. She attempts to sexually molest me. I pretend to be vulnerable just enough so she can let her guard down, then I see a clear path to strike on her, so I connect and deliver my fatal blow to her with my flashlight. She collapses gasping for air and coughing up blood. I will not publicly disclose the tactics of which I use to turn a flashlight into a lethal weapon.

As the false prophetess breathes her last breath, her daughter flees in cowardly terror. I rip the marriage contract to mere shreds and fragments, then I destroy that unholy altar, upsetting every stone that it was built upon.

But now I realize how I must find my lover before my unholy bride finds her.

Frantically, I search for her and call out her name.

Bitter anguish grips my heart increasingly each time I call her name and hear nothing in return.

Suddenly I wake up, alone in my bed, and collect my thoughts…

Back to “Works of Fiction”

Island Drama (Sequel to “Scanner Drama”)

I initially wrote this around July 4-5, 2005, and have subsequently edited it every now and then. If the material seems dated that is because it does indeed take place in July of 2005 on the fictitious but sovereign Archangel Island located somewhere in the Tropical Pacific.  This island state has been fighting off pirates and insurgents since its inception in the mid to late 1990s. Now the war monger president George Walker Bush has declared war on the young nation of Archangel Island because it harbors defectors and political dissidents seeking asylum there. Grant West and Adrianna Parker are two of those defectors and have begun a new life for themselves with Grant helping provide security for cargo freighters and Adrianna working in a government nursery.  Their life will now be severely disrupted because of this illegal and unjust war.

In order to better understand this story, please: Read the Prequel

Without further ado, here is the story:

…Archangel Island…

…July 2005…

T’was a hot summer evening on Archangel Island. A red sunset was shining over the ocean. Grant West and Adrianna Parker were lying on the warm sands together when a middle-aged man approached them.

He spoke, “Get some good rest tonight, West. Tomorrow; we are going out to sea,” He paused then continued ¨You see that sun, `Red sky at night sailor’s delight, red sky in the morning sailor’s warning.'”

Grant answered “Yes sir I’ll be ready. I just need to spend some time with my special girl. AS for that rhyme, where I come from we say `When egrets take flight, foul weather in sight’.”

The man answered, “Ah I understand. I remember when I was YOUNG like you two. I’ll go now.” He paused, then continued “But; I want you to be at the docks 0600 hours sharp tomorrow morning. Bring your weapons and gear and be sure to set your watch.” He then left.

Adrianna leaned against Grant and said, “How many DAYS will you be gone?”

“I don’t know, it depends on how much arms we will be loading and how many ports we dock at. I will be thinking of you and missing you. You can go up to the LIGHThouse and look for us. I will carry my radio on me, and I will buy you a radio so we can keep in touch.”

“That radio wouldn’t replace you, Grant, no one or thing in THE WORLD could do that.”

Grant looked at her with exceeding PASSIONS and said, “Well Adrianna you are so sweet and hot and loving and BEAUTIFUL and the list goes on and on. When I will hear your voice while I’m out on the water, I will close my eyes and imagine you are there. The crew might have to adjust the controls of that boat until it TURNS around because I’ve gone crazy. Crazy for you, that is.”

Adrianna said with concern, “Oh, Grant, don’t do that, you would get fired.”

“Maybe, but when I get back our bed will be rocking more than that boat ever has, even in the worst of storms.”

“Well just don’t do it in front of ALL those CHILDREN I’ll be looking after.”

Grant looked up at the sky put his arm around Adrianna and said, “We have made ONE good LIFE for ourselves here. To think I was a wanted criminal. Now I protect men and cargo from pirates and insurgents while you work at a nursery.”

The mosquitoes were starting so they decided to head into their dwelling. After locking the door, Grant and Adrianna went into their bed and cuddled. All the lights were turned off and the only way they could see the full moon reflected upon the ocean and into their window. Grant ran his fingers through Adrianna’s hair. She smiled at him and kissed him, then petted him on his face. A cool breeze was blowing in from off the ocean and into their screened window. They were both shivering and held each other close together. Grant unbuttoned Adrianna’s shirt, and then pulled it off. He started rubbing her smooth, pale, creamy skin gently. From the feeling of Grant’s masculine hands on her skin and the cool breeze blowing in, her nipples became erect. Grant kissed Adrianna on her chest and neck. Adrianna giggled teasingly at Grant as she unbuttoned his pants and shirt. Grant put his hands up her skirt and untied it. Her skirt fell to the floor. He rubbed her bottom gently AS he started pulling down her panties. Adrianna threw them on top of Grant’s head as she laughed. She then pulled down Grant’s boxers. They admired each others’ bodies for just a moment, then climbed and covered between the sheets. They rolled around in the sheets hugging and kissing each other passionately, as they made love. Both were moaning and sighing with pleasure as they were overcome by each other. After climaxing several times, they slept between the cool sheets. Grant lay intimately close up against Adrianna with her arms and legs around him. Morning came quickly. The pink light was barely making it through the dense fog. Grant stood up from the bed. He walked to the bathroom and started to dress as Adrianna quietly lay in bed asleep. He finished dressing and walked out of the dwelling. On his way out he gently kissed Adrianna on her forehead. He headed to the supply store and walked in.

The owner of the store greeted him and asked, “How can I help you?” The man had several scars on his face and missing teeth.
Grant answered him pulling out his radio “I work on a boat and I am going out to sea today. I want to keep in contact with my girl. Would you carry any radio that is compatible with this one?”

The man examined Grant’s radio and said, “Certainly do. You see these devices talk through our satellite. As long as you both are in the range of it you can talk to each other. Several businesses on the island got together and launched it so they could have a practical way of keeping in touch. We also use the satellite for defense operations.” The owner went to the back of the store and came back with a package. Grant went to pay for the radio when the shop owner pointed down at a combat knife under the glass counter. He said, “If you are going out to sea you will also want to buy one of these.”

He handed the knife to Grant, who looked at it then said “It is a nice knife, I think it will do well with the rest of my gear.¨

The owner replied ¨I’ve heard about you, taking out four thugs with almost just your wits. You remind me of me when I was much younger. I think you will make a decent asset to guarding our logistics. I used to do the very thing, but now I work with arms dealers, and I supply the island with tactical gear.¨ Grant simply nodded then paid for both items and walked out of the store.

The middle-aged man from the previous evening followed Grant out of the shop and approached him “Hello my name is Blaze. I could not help but overhear your conversation.”

Grant shook his hand once again.

“The captain has told me about you. Stick with me and you will be fine.”

“Well let me go tell my girlfriend goodbye and then I will be reporting for work. I’ll meet you at the port.”

Grant walked back to his dwelling. He unlocked and opened the door and met Adrianna. She was still in her nightclothes.

He hugged her and kissed her immediately, then said, “Here you go Adrianna this is the radio I told you about. We can keep in touch now. Grant handed it to her and she set it down on the nightstand.

“It is a somewhat reassurance, but not a replacement of you Grant. I don’t know if I could stand being alone without you.”

“I know it will be lonely, but at least we can hear each other’s voice no matter where we are. I know I would go insane if I couldn’t hear you talk to me.”

Grant packed several pairs of tee shirts, pants, socks, boots, razors with lather and aftershave, his long tactical flashlight with its belt holster, his new combat knife in its scabbard, and his communications radio.

“Grant you sure are BOLD you know that. You’re risking your life going out on that dangerous water. Since you got me that radio, I want you to talk to me every chance you get. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll grow RESTLESS.”

Grant looked at Adrianna soberly and gently said “I must go now, I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

Adrianna threw her arms around Grant. Grant kissed her passionately and held her for just a moment longer. They both opened their eyes and then backed from each other.

Adrianna said, “Be safe Grant. I love you so much!”

He kissed her once more and replied, “I love you too,” then left their dwelling.

He walked out to the dock where all the others were starting to arrive. He attached his radio, flashlight, and knife to his belt.

Blaze saw Grant and said, “Come here man, it’s time to report to work.”

The captain was standing amid all of them. He spoke, “Good morning everyone. I am a man of few words. We shall be leaving shortly and will be stationed on a patrol boat to escort a cargo freighter on the high seas. We will anchor on the high seas as the freighter goes into foreign ports to pick up the goods we are purchasing. We will continue to escort the cargo freighter once it returns to our position on the high seas. Make sure each of you has a knife, and be sure you know how to use it. I hope that we will have no casualties on this trip, but I can’t promise anything. Your duties are to protect your fellow crew members and all the cargo we are carrying at all costs. Remember, all of you are permitted to use lethal force, if necessary. That is all. God bless.”

Grant secured his belongings and boarded the boat along with the other men. The engine was started and not long after a course was plotted and they headed out to sea. The ride was mostly smooth AS the boat was cruising all of them were sitting out on the deck, keeping a watch for attackers. Grant kept to himself. He was listening to his radio, in case Adrianna would call. After not hearing her for a while, he realized that she was at work taking care of children.

Blaze sat near Grant and offered him a cigarette.

Grant shook his head, then replied, “Smoking causes erectile dysfunction and I want to be a lover to Adrianna as long as possible.”

“I fully understand. Best you don’t get addicted anyway.”

“I do have a question, though.”

“Ask away.”

“Tell me, Blaze. Why do all these foreigners attack us?”

“They are jealous of us. Our sovereignty is undeniable proof of their incompetence and failures and that makes us detestable in their sight. These foreigners do not have access to much money so their boats are not heavily armed. They sure know how to fight hand to hand though. You see that radio, never tell your location on there. Those foreigners monitor our satellite communications. They come out of nowhere on small boats and try to steal our cargo. They come onto our boats and attack. Thankfully we know how to fight back. Remember Grant it is legal to do anything to those attackers once they climb aboard. I execute them and use the fleshly remains of their bodies for crab bait.”

Grant then showed his long tactical flashlight to Blaze and said, “I once smashed a bully’s windpipe with this. It could effectively stop someone with a knife or better yet hand to hand, due to the blunt force it provides.”

“I heard about that when you defected from The States and applied for asylum here on Archangel Island. Very impressive.”

“Thank you, sir!”

“I was able to read the news reports about you from The States as well.”

“How’d you do that?”

“Our Defense Intelligence Service shared it with me when I was commanded to mentor you.”

“How did they portray me?”

“Most of them were thirsting for your blood but a very select few were singing your praises.”

“Somehow I am not surprised.”

“Try not to let it get to you. As long as we maintain our sovereignty, you will be safe.”

Grant nodded.

“Now, another hour and our shifts are over,” Blaze told Grant.

Grant kept a sharp eye on the lookout for attackers and the sun was beginning to set.

Blaze looked at his watch and said, “That’s it-the shift has ended. Get some food and rest.”

Blaze and Grant walked into the galley and were fed a meal of deep-fried cod fillets, thick fried potatoes, coleslaw, and a premium crafted cola to drink.”
After Grant had eaten and drank his fill he went to the top of the boat, pulled out his radio, and called Adrianna.

She was just getting into the big empty bed when she heard his voice, “Hello Adrianna, are you there?”

Adrianna replied “Yes I am here. Where are you right now?”

“I’m afraid I can’t say, we have enemies listening in on us as we speak.”

“You are okay though-right?”

“Yes, I am fine. I just got off of my shift. It was a good first day. How was yours.”

“Well, I think I am pretty good with THE CHILDREN. I had fun today and the pay is decent. I never thought I could make this much money doing this kind of work.”

“Yes, my love I think we will like it here.”

The letters AI1COMM in Morse code followed Grant’s transmission. A synthesized computer voice came in and said, “Please keep the satellite communication brief.”

Grant then said, “We cannot talk too long, our Rescue and Defense services use this satellite for their communications also.”

Adrianna replied, “Okay I don’t want us to get in trouble. We can talk later, baby.”

“I guess we could talk for a little while later, but I love you as much as ever.”

“I love you too, Grant.”

The call was then disconnected.

Grant walked down to the sleeping quarters of the boat and placed his radio in his pocket and went to sleep. He dreamed of Adrianna. Meanwhile, she put her radio in the charger and crawled in between the cool sheets of the empty bed, and went to sleep to dream of Grant.

The next morning Adrianna woke up to the crash of thunder and the splashing of rain. She got out of bed and went into the bathroom to get ready for work. She walked out all dressed up as the rain was still coming down hard. Adriana put her raincoat on, grabbed her radio, and walked out of the dwelling to her work. Hours passed. The rain had stopped and the sun started to shine. Adrianna took the children outside then tuned her radio to the satellite up-link frequency. She keyed it up and called for Grant.

Grant heard the call signal coming through as he was preparing to begin his shift for the day.

He answered, “Hello Adrianna, my baby.”

Adrianna replied “I miss you so much. I am constantly thinking about you.”

“Well, I would like to take you into my arms right now and make the purest, sweetest, most passionate love to you.”

“Grant watch your mouth. Those kids might be able to hear my radio.”

“They will understand when they are our age.”

A little girl was approaching Adrianna, so she told Grant, “I have to go right now Grant, there is a little girl that needs my help right now.”

“Okay, I will talk to you at the end of this shift. I love you, Adrianna.”

“I love you too, Grant.”

The call was disconnected.

Grant soon began his shift, keeping a watch for pirates.

Adrianna looked at the little girl and said, “Allie, what’s the matter?”

Allie replied, “Some mean boys are picking on Romey. They want to beat him up I think.”

“Thank you for telling me, now just stay right here,” Adrianna thought of how Grant was jumped when they were in the States. She had an idea that would prove to be successful.

She walked up to Romey and said, “Romey come with me.”

The other boys started to make noise as if they thought Romey was in trouble.

She then told him, “Now I have heard that those boys wanted to hurt you. Is that true?”

Romey looked down at the ground and said, “Yes it’s true. I just want them to leave me alone.”

Adrianna replied, “Well come play over here with Allie and me.”

Romey smiled and nodded. They walked back to where Allie was standing.

Adrianna said, “Could I talk to Allie in private for just a few seconds?”

Romey, replied, “Sure I guess.”

Adrianna told Romey, “Just stay where I can see you.”

Romey went a few feet away and closed his ears.

Adrianna told Allie, “I need you to be Romey’s friend AS he doesn’t have any. I would appreciate it if you would just go play with him. It would be good for him to have someone like you to play with and talk to.”

Allie smiled and said, “Sure, I would be happy to do that. Romey is a nice boy and he is so cute but those others are mean to him.”

Adrianna then called Romey over. He came up to her and she said, “Romey, you and Allie go play together. Don’t go too far from me.”

Allie said, “Come on Romey we can go swing together.”

They swung together for a few minutes, then Allie said, “Let’s go play with Miss Adrianna.”

Romey nodded in agreement. They walked up to her.

Allie asked, “Will you play with us?”

“Sure, Allie, what do you want to play?”

“Let’s play with your radio,” Allie said with excitement.

Adrianna replied, “That’s not a toy.”

Allie made a face of disappointment.

Romey then asked, “What do you use it for?”

Adrianna replied, “I use it to talk to my boyfriend, while he is out at sea.”

Romey replied, “That’s so cool. Allie we could play those phones in the toy box.”

Allie replied, “Yeah Romey, we can pretend that I am Miss Adrianna, and you are her boyfriend out at sea.” Adrianna giggled and said, “OK you two, just stay where I can see you.”

‎ The Defense Intelligence Services alerted the officials, who forwarded the critical information to the population that Archangel Island might soon be under attack.

The sirens started blaring and Adrianna ran up to Romey and Allie, then grabbed both of their hands. She ran with them down to the bunker. Adrianna and the other workers escorted the rest of the children down. When all were in Adrianna found Romey and Allie.

Allie asked, “What is going on?”

Adrianna replied “President Bush is preparing the American forces to attack our island and our fleets. I need both of you to cooperate and do what we tell you. Both of you stick together in case something should happen to me.”

Romey blurted out, “That durn Bush!”

Allie oblivious to the situation giggled a little.

So did Adrianna but she then said soberly, “I’m an American defector and so is my boyfriend and we don’t like him either, Romey.”

Allie replied as she started crying, “I don’t want them to take you away.”

Romey said, “I’ll fight them if they try to take you or your boyfriend away.”

Adrianna hugged them both and said, “They might have to take me away. Romey, promise me that you will not try to attack the Americans, because they will beat you and lock you up.”

All three had tears in their eyes.

Grant came through over the radio, “Adrianna, is everything all right over there?”

Adrianna replied, “I am all right as are the children, we are just shaken up.”

Grant replied, “We are coming home, so the Americans don’t attack any of our ships. I’m told that several arms dealers will arm us and drop the supplies via air. Some mercenary pilots have decided to guard our airspace, but I will soon be reassigned.”

Adrianna said, “Grant please be safe. I love you so much.”

Grant answered, “I love you too Adrianna.”

A transmission from the communications headquarters came through. It was the voice of a woman, which said, “Keep the satellite communications clear except for necessary traffic.”

Time passed by slowly. There was total silence in the bunker, but the air was filled with anxiety. Thirty-six hours later the fleet of boats docked. Grant got off and ran to the daycare center. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a guard from the Archangel Island Government.

He asked Grant, “What is your purpose here?” Grant replied, “My girlfriend, Adrianna Parker, works here and I need to see her.”
The guard replied, “Follow me.”

Grant entered the bunker. He looked around the room until his eyes landed on Adrianna. He ran up to her and they kissed.

The guard said “You two can both go home, for right now. Grant be prepared to fight soon. Adrianna, don’t go too far. We might need you to help the children.”

Grant and Adrianna walked to their dwelling. They settled in when the telephone rang. It was Blaze, he said “Report back to the government headquarters building in the morning. Bring your knife and radio. Also; you must buy a pistol and an assault rifle. We will be organized into security platoons to guard the island. I have been named the leader of our platoon. The good news is, you get to go home every day. The bad news is, we will probably be invaded. Get everything in order now.”

Grant broke the news he just heard to Adrianna.

Adrianna started sobbing as she threw her arms around him. There was a silence as they both climbed into bed. They held each other somberly and then started to make love with great emotion. After experiencing passionate intimacy once again, they snuggled together and were soon asleep.

Morning came all too quickly and bitterly.

Adrianna told Grant, “I can’t lose you.”

“I will do my best AS I have no other choice.”

Both were crying at this point.

Grant looked at Adrianna deeply, knowing he might never see her again if an invasion indeed occurred and he was killed in action.

He kissed her passionately and hugged her with a tight grip. They held each other closely.

There was then a knock at the door.

They both answered it and were greeted by Blaze

“Grant it’s time to go,” He said.

Grant nodded with a somber look.

“I love you so much, Adrianna!”

“I love you too, Grant!” They hugged and kissed one final time.

Then Grant walked out of the door. Adrianna watched them walk until they disappeared into the fog…

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