A Crisis following an Argument-Confessions of an [un]Happily Married Blogger

So, it’s either the Summer of 2017, I honestly can’t remember which month or day, despite having a razor-sharp memory.

My wife and I are walking into our local big-box discount retailer (whose name needs no introduction) and for some reason or another, we’re angry at each other.

She is talking to me like a child and I am trying to tune her out.

I just agree so she will shut up.

Now and then, I stand up for myself, though.

Finally, she goes to purchase whatever items that she came to purchase.

I, on the other hand, decide to go look at the calculators, something of which I have been fascinated by almost as long as flashlights.

I’m not feeling loved at all and I certainly don’t feel any validation. I think my wife deliberately tries to deprive me of the latter and doesn’t know how to properly show me the former.

So besides my writing, I turn to flashlights and calculators to fill the void.

As I am making my way to the calculator aisle, which is near arts and crafts and office supplies, I see a beautiful young lady walking out of the housewares department.

She looks at me and warmly smiles.

When I say beautiful, she is my kind of beautiful:
Long thick blonde hair.
A sexy plus-sized body.
A flawless complexion.
And of course, she has everything in the right places!

She looks so cute in those Wayfarer eyeglasses. I’m glad that style has made a comeback!

A major part of me wants to smile back and I awkwardly do so.

But another part of me knows that I am a married man, albeit unhappily married and how I must needs honor my marriage or face the wrath of God.

I am already guilty of adultery in the heart and have been many times before, as this series brazenly suggests.

I wonder if this young lady is smiling at me because she just saw how awfully my wife just treated me?

I know this, she reminds me of a character in a story series I had recently begun.

I want this young lady so much, but I know I can’t have her, so maybe I’ll just write about her!

As each day passes, I regret my marriage more and more.

I know it is doomed to fail, but I need a catalyst to provoke me to divorce her.

I also need to know that my housing and financial needs shall be met whenever I do leave my wife.

Obviously, there are good women out there.

So, why does mine have to treat me so shabbily?

I don’t think it’s the fact that we moved too fast, rather I think her personality has changed and her toxic personality brings out some pretty ugly traits in me.

There are other factors as well, but for my safety, I won’t mention them.

At least I have my writing, and even though my wife resents it when I write, scores of others love my content.

Sometimes it is all I have to maintain my sanity.

I go back to the calculator aisle to see if any new ones are being sold.

There are none, so I make my way to the flashlight section in sporting goods.

I don’t have any money for a flashlight today, but just looking at them sends the endorphins pumping through my being and is a temporary remedy to the fact that I am an unhappily married blogger…

Back to “Confessions of an [un]Happily Married Blogger

A Dilemma in a Diner-Confessions of an[un]Happily Married Blogger

…December 1, 2012…

Christmas is only a few weeks away and I’ll be turning 26 in a few more weeks.

So my wife’s sister recently had a baby and now wants her to spend the night and help her since her husband isn’t home.

Ever since giving birth, her sister has become very mean-spirited.

I would usually spend the night as well, just to be with my wife, but her sister doesn’t want to. She does this just to be difficult, I think.

My wife automatically complies with all of her family members’ requests, but it takes an act of Congress for her to even consider my requests. This is one of the reasons, but not the only reason, why I am unhappily married.

With that I drop her off at her sister’s house, then I decide to go out for a drive and look at night trains.

Speaking of trains, my wife frequently curses me lower than a dog because I have an interest in trains. Never mind what her family members are interested in, she’s silent about that, but she constantly complains about how I like trains. Here is another reason why I am unhappily married.

Unfortunately, I don’t see any and my scanner isn’t picking anything up either.

So I continue driving into the night. It’s dark on these bypass roads. And the locals are ticked off because I am driving the posted speed limit.

After driving a while in these sticks, I realize that I am quite hungry, so I head towards the city and find a diner.

I sit at a table and order some chili cheese fries.

While waiting for my fries to cook, I notice an absolutely beautiful young lady sitting with her mother at a table across the room from me.

She looks to be about 18 maybe a little older, but I’m not sure.

Of course, she is plus-sized and wearing a dress that becomes her. I mean it accentuates all of her lovely curves and inches!

The glasses she is wearing make her look cute and I wish I could play with her long brown hair!

And when I notice her busty breasts, all I can say is, “Wow!”

I can also see her thick, creamy thighs and a part of me wants to look even further up her dress but a bigger part of me is determined to be a gentleman instead.

With every ounce of strength, I successfully refrain from looking up her dress.

But, according to Jesus Christ, Who is God come in the flesh, I’ve already committed adultery by now, at least in the heart.

God be thanked that where sin abounded, grace abounded much more.

Still, I don’t like to abuse The Grace that has been so lovingly imparted to me and purchased at such a tremendous Price!

How I wish I was single and free at this very moment!

I haven’t seen someone so beautiful in quite a while.

She glances at me as well, now and then. I want to smile at her when she does, but I know it will only lead to trouble.

Speaking of smiles, she has the most precious and gentle smile. It’s almost like something from the Heavenly realm.

Speaking of Heavenly, adultery is a blatant spurning of God’s Holy Law.

I’ve committed enough sins, especially in my younger days and I don’t need adultery to be added to them.

Still, I wonder what she is like, and not just sexually, but in all aspects, what is she like? What makes her happy? What causes her distress? What is her favorite kind of books and music? What kind of guys does she like? Is she sweet? Is she shy? Would she like to read my written work?

Oh, I long to know all of it!

Well, come to think of it, I am in a fairly large city and no one here knows me, so I could theoretically go up to her and talk, and see what happens, but I am, unfortunately, a married man, albeit unhappily married and while none of these city people may care, there is a God Who can see and He would be undoubtedly offended.

But speaking of God, my God, this young lady is so beautiful!

I want her so badly but I know I cannot have her and also have peace in my conscience.

Maybe I’ll just create a character based on her in one of my stories.

Everyone is wondering if the world will indeed end in a few weeks or not because of that Mayan Calendar prediction, and I won’t lie, I do think of, at least, The Rapture and am trying to be on my best behavior.

I must needs do the right thing and get out of this place.

So, with that, I finish my fries and whatever soft drink I am drinking, take one last look at the beautiful young lady of whom I had the privilege of beholding this evening, pay my bill then get in my car and go home.

On the way home, I do see one train and I always like seeing trains at night. That’s a bit of a silver lining behind a dark cloud, right?

Upon arriving home, I spend the remainder of the evening listening to train traffic on my scanners until my medicine kicks in and I fall asleep, alone.

I think this is the first time I ever experience a whole night in a house by myself.

Back to “Confessions of an [un]Happily Married Blogger”

An Encounter while Shopping-Confessions of an [un]Happily Married Blogger

I am now drawing disability and not working at all. This has been the case since late September 2011 and it is now late June of 2012.

The management at that God-awful grocer I was working for had drastically cut my hours and even demoted me, so I quit without warning. It wasn’t worth burning the gasoline to come to work and as I’ve stated before the work environment was ultra toxic.

My wife has decided to pursue some higher education. I believe this is fruitless and pointless and just a year later, I will be vindicated in this belief.

So, while my wife attends school, I find things to occupy my time.

Payday is just a few short days away, so I am looking to see what I can purchase at an electronics dealer.

I walk in and am greeted by a very beautiful and sweet young lady. Her body is somewhere between thick and curvy. She has long blonde hair the face of a China doll.

We begin to talk and pretty soon, it is as if we have known each other forever.

While I am twenty-five-and-a-half, I find out that she is twenty-two.

It is quite rare that a young lady shares an interest in electronics like I do, but she certainly does.

I tell her about my other hobbies and she seems impressed.

I don’t think she is truly impressed, I think she has a crush on me, but what do I know.

I do know this: my wife and her family resent all of my hobbies, as I mentioned before.

To tell the truth, I also have a crush on her, but I know how I must needs to honor my marriage, if not for the love of my spouse, then for the love and fear of my God.

We continue talking, about our families and my disability. Even after telling her all this, she still seems very sweet and understanding. I’m catching even more feelings for her, but I force myself to suppress them. Finally, I see a Weather Radio which is on clearance. I remember reading extensively about this particular model and am disappointed to see it being discontinued.

I ask if she can reserve it for me so I can purchase it when I get paid.

She explains how she is not supposed to do such a thing, but will do so anyway because she thinks I am nice.

I then happen to glance at my watch and realize I have other errands to run and how I also need an escape route to keep me from committing adultery, so I bid her farewell, then leave the store.

Days later when I get paid, I drive back to the electronics store, and there she is behind the counter, with her sweet and beautiful self.

I tell her how I’ve come to purchase my weather radio and I thank her for going above and beyond.

She hands it to me, then I pay with my debit card. The transaction is processed, then approved.

She briefly flirts with me. Her voice is so soothing, much unlike my wife’s.

I then leave the store, with my Weather Radio, because I have other business that needs to be tended to and groceries that need to be made.

I don’t think I will ever forget her, though. Quite possibly she could inspire some characters and situations in the stories I create.

She is the kind of person my in-laws would automatically hate because she’s pretty, sweet, and classy.

To have credit with them, one must have either ruined his or her life or be in some other unfortunate situation.

I only have a little credit with them, because of my disability, but they still cannot stand the fact that I like to write and I have other wholesome hobbies.

After all our business is tended to, my wife and I head home. I try out my new Weather Radio and think of the wonderful young lady who sold it to me. My house makes noises per the changes of pressure and temperature. I think a storm is approaching My new Weather Radio confirms this thought.

Back to “Confessions of an [un]Happily Married Blogger”

Pilot-Confessions of an [un]Happily Married Blogger

I am twenty-four-going-on-twenty-five and I would like to think of myself as a decent young man.

Heck, I am even a Christian, albeit a backslidden one. Well, maybe not backslidden, but not devout either.

I go to church mostly to make my wife happy and I admit that I am getting well versed in The Bible as a result.

Also, this regular church attendance has kept a lot of my sinful behaviors at bay.

As a bonus studying the Bible and hearing these timeless hymns has increased and enhanced my writing ability

I am not the cheating type, I mean, if I was, I would have done it already, many times over. I won’t lie, though, temptation stalks me at every turn I take.

This is because I am unhappily married. I’ve been married to this woman for a little over a year and her true colors are now boldly showing. She is starting to remind me of a certain coworker whom I abhor. The red flags were always there, but I chose to ignore them and got married anyway mostly due to a mixture of guilt for fornicating with her, but I also loved her, at least at some point I did and yes I am still attracted to her, although now only physically, nothing else. The deep, intimate connection is dead and gone.

It seems that as of lately that my wife is opposed to anything and everything that brings me joy.

I think her family motivates her to act this way towards me.

You see, I have some pretty neat and unique hobbies, whereas, they do nothing but get stoned in their free time.

I refuse to join them in their narcotic escapades and they resent the fact that they cannot drag me down with them.

I think they especially hate my writing hobby because the nature of my content somehow makes them feel bad about themselves.

I will admit that my narrative is in direct conflict with theirs, but I come from a profoundly different background than theirs.

They see me and my family as privileged and since the current political climate of 2011 is all about inciting a race and class war, they see us as the enemy though they won’t admit it.

As per my employment, I handle milk and eggs for a local grocer. The work is easy and I think I have my position down to a science, but the owners and upper-level management turn this place into an ultra toxic cesspool of misery. They treat us poorly and take advantage of the fact that there are no other jobs to be had.

Today, there is a new cashier who has joined the ranks. The first time I saw her, she smiled at me. She’s nineteen, with a beautiful super-sized body, long light brown hair, a flawless porcelain complexion, and did I mention she is bespectacled which makes her even more beautiful? I wanted to smile back, but despite being unhappily married, I do put forth a considerable degree of effort to honor my marriage, so I didn’t smile back. So far, never have I ever regretted being married as much as just now. How I wish I could talk to this girl and get to know her. And not only that, I want to hold her. I want to kiss her. I want to play with her hair and get lost in her embrace. I want to read my stories to her because maybe she will appreciate them, I mean she already physically resembles many of the female characters in the stories I write. There’s so much that I wish I could do with her and share with her but I can’t, at least not with a clear conscience, so maybe I’ll just write about her instead. I know for certain that she will give me plenty of inspiration, maybe even years down the road she will inspire me to write something great.

My work is almost done for the day, I place the last few cartons of eggs in the display cooler, then I throw my empty boxes away and clock out.

I drive home where my wife is sitting on the sofa binge-watching Teen Mom.

It’s Friday, and my money was direct deposited, and we need to pay some bills, namely the water and the electricity.

My wife takes forever to get ready but if I try to tell her to hurry up, she will just curse me lower than a dog.

Finally, she is ready.

We leave to go pay the bills.

I have a little cash left over.

I’m hoping to enjoy it, but my wife says how a family friend’s child is having a birthday party and we need to buy a gift.

Please don’t think I hate giving gifts to children because I don’t. However, I’d like to be able to enjoy my money sometimes.

I also hate spending all my days off at parties, when do I ever get time for myself?

I would love to just sit at my computer and write until my heart is content, but I can’t because I have all these undesired obligations.

Does my wife show me any appreciation for the sacrifices I make?

No. Just a sense of entitlement to the fruit of my sacrifices.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg of why I am unhappily married.

Back to “Confessions of an [un]Happily Married Blogger”