2020 False Charges and Trial Dream

I haven’t had a dream or vision with a Christian or Biblical theme in a considerable amount of time. It’s been over two years since the last one.

However, on the morning of September 16, 2020, I did have a Christian dream.

After meditating on it further, I have discovered more details than when I was actually dreaming it.

I have reason to believe this took place somewhere on the West Coast of the United States in the not so distant future.

The dream entails a love story between a sixteen year old girl who is a Christian convert but raised by her Atheist dad and sneaks away to church every Sunday and a twenty-two year old pastor’s assistant.

The pastor’s assistant is a gifted speaker and teacher. The girl volunteers in the nursery, but can overhear him teaching in the adjacent classroom. While watching the children, she listens to his eloquent speech and is thoroughly impressed with his vast knowledge of Scripture.

Totally unbeknownst to him, she develops a major crush on him.

She falls even more for him when he notices her ability to soothe a cross child and comments on that she would make a wonderful mother someday.

Almost two years pass, then she then turns eighteen and her atheist dad subsequently finds out about her conversion to Christianity and immediately, he kicks her out of his house.

She spends the next few evenings sleeping on a couch in the church annex building.

Late one evening the pastor’s assistant is working on a research project and notices she is still at church.

She explains the situation to him.

He is filled with compassion, but knows he cannot take her into his residence because of his position in the church.

She then confesses that since she is eighteen now and admits that she has had a crush on him for the past two years.

They both pray together.

She then continues by asking if he is even spoken for or not, to which he replies how he isn’t.

She tells him how she fell even more for him when he told her while back how she would make a wonderful mother.

He is initially shocked but realizes how she does meet his strict standards of which he holds whomever his future spouse would be to.

He also feels God moving him to accept her advances.

So, he asks her about courting her.

She wholeheartedly agrees, smiling and blushing.

He then takes her out to dinner and they are seen by many in public.

Eventually she ends up staying with one of the elderly widowed ladies of the church.

The courtship continues and they fall deeply in love.

In due time he proposes marriage, to which she joyfully accepts.

Her other family members find out about the marriage proposal and word gets back to her atheist dad who is infuriated.

They are eventually wed and now are expecting their first child.

Her dad concocts a plan to falsely accuse the pastor’s assistant of having sexual relations with his daughter before she reached the age of consent.

He is successfully able to have charges brought against the pastor’s assistant, because of a strong anti Christian sentiment in the community.

The prosecuting attorney and judge are also staunch atheists.

During the trial, the young lady is questioned as to whether she ever had sexual relations with him prior to turning eighteen.

She replies, that they had never known each other intimately until marriage which was in fact two years after her turning eighteen.

The prosecutor points out how she lied about her whereabouts for two years to her dad, so how does the court know if she is being truthful now.

She said how she took an oath on the Bible and that it is sacred to her and how he should consider reading it for once in his life.

Her husband smiles and winks at her.

The judge orders the bailiff to slap him.

The bailiff walks towards him but slips and falls gashing his face against the corner of the table and is now bleeding.

The bailiff is taken to a hospital for treatment of his injuries and a different bailiff continues providing security for the trial.

The defense attorney, warns the jury that the wrath of God will be much worse on them than what happened to the bailiff if they convict an innocent Christian man and how this is a plot to attack the church and the family.

Unfortunately, I woke up before I learn the fate of the young pastor’s assistant…

Back to “Dreams and Visions Involving Biblical and Christian Themes

Character Guide-An Online Romance

Ezra Lee Tousaint-Main Character aged 37.

Sadie Claire MacBride-Other Main Character redneck SSBBW aged 31.

Milo James MacBride-Sadie’s Dad deceased.

Georgia Faye Dalton MacBride-Sadie’s Mom aged 53.

Reverend Murray Paul Stevens-Sadie’s Pastor and retired firefighter aged 75.

Mrs. Linda Anne Kempf Stevens-Pastor Murray’s wife aged 71.

Dally James MacBride-Sadie’s Paternal Uncle aged 65.

Sophia Natayla “Sophie” Chernenkov MacBride-Sadie’s Paternal Aunt by Marriage aged 57.

Alyssa Jean MacBride-Sadie’s pregnant cousin and always in competition with her aged 29.

Nicky Joe Derringer-Alyssa’s Boyfriend and baby Dad constantly in trouble with the law but well connected aged 26.

James Henry MacBride-Sadie’s Paternal Grandpa aged 87.

Matilda Jane Alden MacBride-Sadie’s Paternal Grandma also was an SSBBW deceased.

Back to “An Online Romance”

The Next Day-An Online Romance

It was Noon when Ezra’s phone rang.

He saw Sadie’s information on the screen and hurriedly answered, “Hello.”

“Hey, you!” Sadie replied.

“Oh, it’s so nice to hear your voice again.”

“You’re so sweet!”

“Thanks. That means a lot coming from you.”

“Well, I got a somewhat good report from my doctors. They want me to continue with my high blood pressure treatments as usual. It hasn’t gotten better but it hasn’t gotten worse either.”

“Praise God! You know, I want you to live because I want you by my side forever! I’m well aware of how it was your Dad’s high blood pressure that killed him.”

“His Mom as well.”

“Then, please, Sadie, you need to be careful! I never want to lose you!”

“Just pray for me then, but as far as I can see you never will lose me!”

“Now my Mom has just pulled up into the Dairy Queen parking lot and we’re going eat, but I will call you as soon as I am home and we can spend some more time together if you wish.”

“Sure that would be wonderful. Y’all just be careful everywhere y’all go.”

“We will. What are you going to eat for lunch?”

“Some seared chicken breasts and some steamed carrots along with some steamed green beans. I made them all for dinner last night.”

“I didn’t know you could cook.”

“Well, I have been living alone for the better part of my adult life and now being diabetic, I have to prepare healthy meals for myself.”

“I should eat healthy like that more often, but the food stamps only go so far.”

“I understand totally.”

“Now we’re about to order, so I will call you later.”

“Okay.”

“All right, bye Ezra.”

“Bye Sadie.”

Ezra walked into his kitchen and turned his countertop scanner on. Seconds later he intercepted a notice to mariners from the Coast Guard. He then took out the meat and vegetables from his refrigerator then warmed them up in his microwave oven.

After his meal was ready, he placed it on the table then said grace and ate, while listening to his scanner.

In the meantime, Sadie and her Mom each ordered a 1/3 Pound Cheeseburger and a Banana Shake. They as well took their food to a table said grace and then ate.

“Do you think Ezra will be different from the others?” Sadie’s Mother asked her.

“I sure hope so. He knows how much I weigh and he still wants me. And he just got finished telling me how he wants me by his side forever,” Sadie replied.

Her Mother smiled slightly, then said, “I hope he is telling the truth. I don’t like seeing you with a broken heart all the time.”

“He does seem genuine.”

“Well, you know Pastor Murray prays for you as do I.”

“Ezra said how he wants to meet me during Thanksgiving week.”

“Well, that will give y’all some more time to talk.”

“Well, if he is as sweet as he is now, I can’t wait to meet him.”

“Does he work?”

“No, he gets disability.”

“Is he okay?”

“Yes. He is schizophrenic and diabetic, but both are well under control.”

“Speaking of that, I know we always eat out after your doctor’s appointments, but you too could become diabetic if you’re not careful. Then you would have to battle your blood sugar in addition to your blood pressure. And you will gain more weight if you and Ezra get into a more stable relationship.”

“I know. I know. I’m just glad that Ezra told me how he likes big women.”

“Well, I know you must be happy but don’t use that as an excuse to not lose weight.”

“He did say how he wants me to live and if I have to lose weight to live longer, I think he would understand.”

“Sounds like you’re falling for him.”

“I am, most definitely.”

“How old is he?”

“Thirty-seven.”

“So he’s six years older than you?”

“Yes, is that all right?”

“It’s fine. Your Daddy was eight years older than me and you know how much we loved each other.”

“Yes, Daddy was amazing and taken so soon.”

“All the more reason for you to pay attention to your health very carefully.” She paused, then said, “Speaking of that, we need to pick up your medications so, finish eating.”

Sadie nodded then finished off her cheeseburger than gulped down her banana shake.

They then cleared the table and left.

Sadie’s Mother drove through the drive up at the local Walgreen’s. Sadie then gave her information and paid with her debit card then was handed a three month supply of blood pressure medication.

They then drove home.

Sadie’s mother unlocked the door to their trailer and Sadie went walk to her room to call Ezra.

He had just finished washing the dishes when his phone rang.

“Hey, baby.” He answered.

“Hey.”

“Are you back home?”

“Yes. I am relaxing in my room.”

“Thank God you’ve made it home safely!”

“My Mom says I should watch my weight because I could also get diabetes.”

“If you want, I could share some healthy recipes with you.”

“If I lost weight, would you still want me, though? I mean I know how much you like big girls.”

“Of course I would still want you. Even if you did lose some weight there’s a part of you that I hope will always be big!”

“Well, my breasts and my butt will get smaller if I lose weight.”

“I was talking about your heart though!”

“You’re sweet!”

“I know I came on to you because you’re a big lady, but if you’re as wonderful as I think you are, I could want you in any size. Besides, as I said before, I want you to live!”

“You’re making my eyes wet!”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, you did nothing wrong. It’s just no one has ever been so sweet to me. I’ll confess that you’re making another part of me wet as well, but it would be a sin to describe which part!”

“Have you ever been with a man like that before?”

“I was molested when I was six, but other than that, no.” She paused then asked, “What about you?”

“When I was in my twenties, I was in a relationship with a woman who treated me terribly, yet always wanted to have sex. She deflowered me. But as weird as this sounds, I didn’t want to lay with her anymore because she treated me so badly, so she cheated on me and I left her in my very early thirties. Then I had a very innocent relationship with a young lady, but it didn’t work out.”

“As cute and sweet as you are, I’m surprised that you’ve only been with one other in that way.”

“I’m just so sorry you were molested. I wish there was a way I could take that pain from you. What happened to the guy that hurt you?”

“My Daddy shot him, leaving him a paraplegic. He’s now in a prison hospice for the rest of his life.”

“I guess he got his just desserts, then.”

“But, am I pure enough for you, now that you know this?”

“Of course you are! And anyway, you could say that my past is more extensive than yours. All in all, you’re a wonderful and beautiful young lady of whom I am tremendously honored to call mine!”

“You make me very happy and I admit I am falling for you!”

“I feel the same way. I just cannot believe that the young lady of my dreams wants me!”

“Well, it’s because you’re so sweet!”

“Thank you.” Ezra paused, then continued, “Does any of your family know about me?”

“My Mom does.”

“What does she think?”

“She’s slightly leery, but only because so many others have rejected me.”

“Well if there’s a way I can relieve that anxiety of hers, name it.”

“Just keep talking to me and keep being sweet to me.”

“Rest assured, I will.”

“Now, I have to go potty real badly, but call me later this evening so we can talk some more.”

“What time?”

“Say around Eight P.M.”

“All right, I sure will.”

“Okay bye.”

“Bye.”

Sadie went to relieve herself in the bathroom.

After she was done, she went back to her room and took a nap.

Meanwhile, Ezra drove to New Orleans and spent the rest of the day watching marine traffic.

He took several pictures of the boats, ships, and barges passing on the Mississippi River and sent them to Sadie.

She had replied how they looked so neat, though she was half asleep.

At 6:00 PM, Ezra drove back to his apartment and checked his blood sugar. It was slightly low, so he drank a can of Wild Cherry Pepsi, then prepared a dinner of a fried pork chop, steamed yellow squash, and steamed broccoli florets.

Likewise, Sadie woke up and her Mom was preparing a meal of hamburger steaks along with green peas and mashed potatoes.

After everyone was done eating, the table was cleared and the dishes were washed, Ezra called Sadie. It was now getting on Eight P.M.

“Hey, you!” Sadie answered.

“Hey,” Ezra replied.

“I’m sorry I didn’t talk more but I was half sleeping when you sent me those pictures. But they were really neat.”

“Well, thank you. Watching marine traffic may seem boring to most, but it’s fun for me and it keeps me out of trouble.”

“Well, you have to have hobbies.”

“Speaking of that, what do you do for fun?”

“Well, I cannot drive, so I am pretty much a homebody, but as I said on my dating profile, I like to play games on my phone and tablet.”

“Nothing wrong with that. I’m glad you’re able to do something.”

“There’s also this blogger I read. He writes the most beautiful love stories. Maybe one day we can read his work together.”

“I wish I could write, but I would love to do that with you.”

“I also wish I could write.”

“What are his stories like?”

“Well, let me put it this way, we’ll have to be careful when we read them together, otherwise we may be tempted to commit a certain sin.”

“They’re that good?”

“Yes, they always bring out those feelings in me. It’s just I was never able to share them with anyone because I was always ghosted.”

“I was ghosted quite a bit as well, so I know what you’re going through.”

“But now we have each other, right?”

“Oh, yes! Most definitely! And I am so happy about that!”

“Me too!”

“I cannot wait to come to see you!”

“Neither can I!”

“Where would I sleep though?”

“In my arms, of course?”

“How would your Mom feel about that?”

“She would be fine as long as you treat me right and commit to me.” Sadie paused, then continued, “Anyway, I pay the bills around here.”

“Well, my intentions are indeed to treat you right and nothing would make me happier than to commit to you!”

“I’m falling for you even more!”

“As am I!”

“So, what heritage are you, anyway?”

“Redneck and Cherokee. What about you?”

“French and a little bit Irish.”

“Like Cajun French?”

“No. Parisian French!”

“Well, my family might tease you, but I think French men are so sophisticated and I hear they make wonderful lovers.”

“Now I am blushing!”

“I bet it’s so cute though!”

“When you say you’re redneck, do you know which European Countries, like more specific than just Anglo Saxon?”

“Scotch-Irish and maybe a little Welsh.”

“So we both have Irish, then.”

“Apparently.”

“The only Irish trait of mine that I know of is that I loved drinking Whiskey in my younger days, but cannot have it now because of this diabetes.”

“What races were your two exes?”

“The one I was with for during my twenties was Mexican, Italian, and Black. The one I was with while in my very early thirties was Cajun, Houmas, which is a Native American tribe in Louisiana and she was also partially Black.”

“The man who molested me was Black, but from Puerto Rico.”

“Would your family reject me because of the women I dated prior to finding you?”

“I doubt it. Once they see how wonderful you treat me and how happy you make me, they’ll want me to keep you!” Sadie paused, then continued, “But don’t advertise it either.”

“I understand, completely.”

There was a knock on Sadie’s bedroom door.

It was her mother and she said, “Alyssa and Nicky Joe are coming to visit tomorrow, so you might want to get some rest tonight.”

Ezra heard Sadie’s Mother and said, “Do I have to let you go for now?”

“No, we can talk a little while longer.” She paused and said, “I’m not looking forward to it. My cousin Alyssa is always in competition with me. She’s pregnant for her methhead boyfriend and they’re both coming tomorrow.”

“Sounds like fun,” Ezra said sarcastically, then continued, “In all seriousness, I need to do laundry tomorrow anyway.”

“I know right. It’s just Alyssa who was always skinny and she always had a boyfriend while I had none. But I cannot wait to show you off to her, because you’re so much classier and cuter than her boyfriend ever will be and you treat me like a queen.”

“Does that mean I get to shower you with affection in front of her?”

“Well, if you did, I would like it a lot and it would score you some extra points with me!” Sadie said as she giggled.

“Just know that I would do it anyway because I am that much crazy about you.”

“I am falling for you hard and fast, so please don’t break my heart!”

“I am falling for you equally hard and equally fast and I pray that you don’t break my heart either!”

“I never will! I know a good thing when I see it!”

“And I likewise know how wonderful you are and just so you know, I want you by my side forever!”

“I’ll take that to bed with me since I do have to get up early tomorrow.”

“Do you want me to say the good night tidings?”

“You can if you want.”

“Then I want you to know how much I long to give you hugs and kisses good night. And I want you to equally know how I long to keep you in my arms throughout the night. But my prayer is that The Good Lord watches over us until we talk again and my prayer is also that you will be by my side forever!”

“Yes, those are my desires as well. I cannot wait to see you and I cannot wait to read those blogs with you!”

“Well you have pleasant dreams and peaceful slumber and I will tell you good night.”

“Good Night.”

Sadie then changed into a nightgown, then turned on her fan and went to sleep.

Ezra stayed up for a few more hours, listening to his scanners then went to sleep as well…

Back to “An Online Romance”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pilot-An Online Romance

On a muggy late October night in South Louisiana, Ezra Lee Toussaint was sitting on his sofa scrolling past profiles of ladies on a dating site. He lived outside of New Orleans, Louisiana, and couldn’t seem to find any ladies that interested him nearby. So he increased the distance parameter on the app and continued searching.

Ezra was a disabled thirty-seven-year-old. He stayed in a one-bedroom apartment and of course lived off of a government pension from Social Security Disability. The reasons for his disability were that he was schizophrenic and later became diabetic, due to side effects from his medication.

Around the age of thirty-four he had lost a lot of weight, but still needed to take his schizophrenic medication as well as monitor his blood sugar and take insulin shots for the rest of his life.

Because of the cost of his medications and supplies as well as their side effects in addition to the debilitating mental effects of Schizophrenia, he decided it would be much more practical to draw disability and keep his medical benefits instead of being at the mercy of employer-sponsored health insurance.

He spent his waking hours working on his 1985 Jeep Comanche pickup truck, riding around at night, listening to his scanners, watching videos, or reading online.

He had all the time to do whatever he chose, whenever he chose, but his life was incomplete. He was missing the love of a good woman.

There was a good woman in his life about five years prior, but she called it quits on him out of the blue.

He spent a good while getting over that relationship, but then he decided to get on several dating sites and put himself on the market.

On this night he wasn’t having much success with the app.

It seemed that the only women who wanted him were well below his standards and the ones that met his standards all eventually ghosted him.

Ezra was getting ready to give up on these apps and find an alternative way to meet women when he saw her profile.

Her name was Sadie, she was 31 years old and from rural Marshall County, Alabama.

He studied her profile extensively and realized that she fit his standards exactly.

She was an SSBBW with a very pretty face, long flowing reddish-blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, and the most beautiful curves.

On her profile she stated how she is indeed a big lady and if any potential mate of hers cannot deal with that, then just not waste their time and don’t even contact her. She stated how she wanted a man that would treat her like a queen, hold her by her waist, kiss her just because, and love her for her. She also stated how she is an excellent cook and despite her size, she’s the one to take and meet your family. Her profile then stated how she never smokes, or uses drugs and only drinks alcohol on special occasions. As her interests, she posted that they include hanging out with her family, riding around at night, swimming, playing games on her phone or tablet, and cuddling but only with the right man. She finally said how she is on disability because of her weight, but that means she can take care of herself financially and doesn’t want any man’s money, but rather his time, loyalty, affection, and love. Her height was listed as five feet.

Even though he wasn’t actually in her presence, Ezra felt immensely giddy as his heart skipped several beats.

For a few minutes he simply stared with great admiration at her pictures.

During those minutes, Ezra was going through in his head how he would write the perfect message for her, “Hey. I don’t know how to begin this, but let me first say that I am very picky about whom I would date. However, you seem to exceed my standards by far, and not only that I think you are beautiful and sweet. I want to get to know you more and if you are the right one for me, I would indeed treat you like a queen, hold you by that sexy waist of yours, shower your beautiful face with kisses just because and yes I could love you for you and let me say that you are indeed very lovable. I’m already crazy about you and if you would only know how giddy I feel just by looking at your profile, maybe you would somehow like me too. I know I am in Louisiana and you’re in Alabama, but gosh durn it, it wouldn’t matter to me how close or far you were, for you I would find a way to make it work. There aren’t any worthwhile women where I am, but you, well…you are more than worthwhile, you seem so perfect for me! I look forward to corresponding with you, so please give me a chance!”

Ezra sighed as he tapped the send button.

He then set his phone down and walked into the kitchen and took his medication.

Afterwards, he tested his blood sugar and saw that it was low, so he drank a cold can of Wild Cherry Pepsi.

He then turned on his scanner and listened as two towboat captains were coordinating their movements on the Intracoastal Waterway. He listened intently until he heard his phone go off.

A chat head appeared with Sadie’s picture.

Ezra took a deep breath then began to read the message.

“Hey. I’m really touched by what you told me. I also read your profile and you seem like a decent guy and yes I would be open to you getting to know me. I want to get to know you as well. I also think you’re really cute! It’s quite okay that you’re all the way in Louisiana because there are no worthwhile young men around here who are willing to pay attention to me, but I’m glad you are. You made me blush a whole lot when you told me that my waist is sexy. And yes, I am really happy that you are that you’re willing to make this work. Maybe you are the young man of whom I have been praying about. I hope you are serious about loving me for me because I am bigger than I appear in my pictures. I do weigh a little over four hundred pounds. When most guys find out exactly how big I am they ghost me. You seem really sweet, so I hope you are somehow different. I hope you would still want me now that you know my true weight and I promise you that I have an even bigger heart. Please write me back and let me know how you feel.”

Ezra’s heart swelled with joy that the young lady whom he was already catching feelings for was mutually interested in him. He knew he had to make it clear to Sadie exactly how much he was attracted to her. So, carefully, he typed back, “I’m so sorry all those other guys ghosted you but it’s their loss not yours. I hope it is also my gain and I apologize if that sounded wrong. There is something I want you to know and I pray you don’t think I am a pervert, but here goes: I am exclusively attracted to bigger women. There is just something about them that drives me wild but in a very good way. And if she has a pretty face like yours, I’m even more attracted. A skinny woman doesn’t have that effect on me. And a skinny woman wouldn’t ever make me happy but someone your size would make me the happiest man there is! I meant what I said when I told you how I think you’re beautiful and sweet. I won’t ever ghost you, but I will honor you and cherish you if you indeed let me! Please don’t ever ghost me either though. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and you have such a sweet and pure heart, that I want you even more now. I just hope this continues.”

A minute passed, then Ezra’s phone alerted him to another incoming message from Sadie. It read, “Oh, I don’t think you’re a pervert because you’re attracted to bigger women. Actually, I’m glad you are because you’re really cute and sweet and if you didn’t like bigger women you probably wouldn’t be talking to me right now, so it’s quite all right. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I know you’re falling for me and I will admit that I am falling for you as well, but I have to make sure you are right for me. I am indeed attracted to you physically and I think you are really sweet as well, but I need to know most of all that you are a Christian and that you are a humble gentleman. I’m almost sure that you are are the latter, but I need to make sure that you are also the former. If you indeed are, then you will have the keys to my heart. But I must know. Let me close by saying that I hope you are because I really do like you and I could see you making me happy. Please let me know.”

“Why don’t I call you and explain it to you? It would be easier to say it verbally than to write it all down.”

“Sure. I bet you have a cute voice.”

They then exchanged phone numbers.

Ezra then called Sadie.

“Hey you!” She answered.

“Hi,” Ezra said.

“Well tell me all you need to say.”

“Okay, here goes: I am indeed a Christian and have been since my teen years. There is something else you must know about me and that is I get disability. First I got it for being schizophrenic, which I got saved while I was recovering from my first mental breakdown. A family member presented The Gospel to me and I surrendered to it. Most of my family is Catholic, except for this family member, and I always noticed how he was closer to God than the rest of them, so I hung on to his every word. It was the best choice I ever made when I got saved! The medication I take for schizophrenia caused me to eventually become diabetic. I was heavy from my twenties until my early thirties then at age thirty-four, I lost the weight, mostly from strict dieting because of my diabetes. I allow the Lord to direct my paths and I acknowledge Him every step of the way. I would also be in a lot of trouble without Him. If you ever meet me, you will see that I carry a SwissGear backpack and a small Igloo cooler everywhere I go. I carry my medication and diabetic supplies, as well as a few cool personal gadgets in my backpack, and I have a few cans of soft drink as well as my insulin in the cooler.”

“I can tell that for sure that you are a Christian and I am immensely happy about that fact! I’m so sorry about your disabilities, but maybe they make you humble, or at least I think they do. Could you tell me about the other stuff you carry in your backpack? I hope it is all legal stuff.”

Ezra replied, “Well, some of the stuff I carry may not be legal in New York or California, but it is perfectly legal in the rural South. I have my tablet with its charger, a scanner radio also with its charger, a Leatherman multi-tool, a Swiss Army Knife, three different tactical flashlights one of them has a USB-C charger the other two run on disposable batteries, my Bible, two flash drives, a power bank, and a scientific calculator.”

“That’s neat. But why do you have three flashlights?”

“Well one is for general purpose lighting. The other has a regular white light but also a red light for use at night such as fishing or looking for worms or just looking around in a car while riding and not disturb the driver. The third one is for self-defense, it is very bright and has a strobe feature that can disorient an attacker then I can hit him in the head with the flashlight while he is disoriented. There’s a lot of crime in Louisiana and my psychiatrist won’t clear me for a concealed weapon permit, so I had to improvise. As you can see I like to be prepared.”

“My Daddy carried a Leatherman on him everywhere he went, but he willed it to me when he passed away.”

“What did he die of?”

“He was big like me and couldn’t get his blood pressure under control, so four, almost five years ago, the Sunday just after Black Friday, he was out hunting with the new rifle he had just purchased and had a stroke out in the woods. We have a scanner too and heard EMT’s talking about him on it. He died hours later at the hospital.”

“I’m so sorry and he seems like he would have been a good man.”

“Oh he was. Maybe he would have liked you.”

“What was he hunting for?”

“Wild hogs. He wanted to roast one for Christmas Dinner but had to work up until Christmas, so this was his only time off, until Christmas Eve.”

“Oh, that sounds delicious. What was his job?”

“He worked at a gun store and he loved to hunt in his free time.”

“If scanners upset you, I won’t play mine in front of you. I know it must be traumatic to hear one go off.”

“Well, that’s very sweet and thoughtful of you, but it doesn’t bother me.”

“What do you listen to on yours, anyway?”

“Mostly boat traffic. If that isn’t too active, I listen to the fire departments.”

“And why do you carry that Leatherman and Swiss Army Knife?”

“Just so I can help myself or others should the need arrive. It seems I am always using them to fix something at my church. I see them more as tools than weapons, and I do enjoy helping others.”

“Now you sound like my Daddy, but I like it.”

“I know you know that I am a Christian. I hope you think I am also a humble gentleman.”

“Yes. I do, but I just had to make sure you were first.”

“Yay.”

“You seem happy.”

“Well, the young lady of my dreams thinks I am a gentleman I would say that makes me happy!”

“So, since I am the young lady of your dreams, why don’t you make me yours?”

“How do you want me to do that?”

“Ask me, silly.”

“Okay, I need to know your full name first, so I can do this right.”

“It is Sadie Claire MacBride. What’s yours?”

“Ezra Lee Toussaint.”

“That’s a neat name.”

“Thanks.”

“Okay, are you going to ask me?”

“Yes: Sadie Claire MacBride, will you be my girlfriend? I don’t have much to offer you, but I do promise to give you my time, my loyalty, and my affections!”

“Of course I will, and you’ve just made me a very happy lady, Ezra Lee Toussaint! I hope and pray that this is just the beginning!”

“It is just the beginning and I hope and pray that you are the one because I cannot picture anyone better!”

“I hope you are the one as well and I cannot wait to meet you in person!”

“How about we try to Thanksgiving week. I’ll save some money from when I paid on November 3rd.”

“Sure. But I’m too fat to drive myself so you’re going to have to come to me.”

“That’s fine. And don’t be so hard on yourself because I think you’re the most beautiful lady ever! Anyway, I have a 1985 Jeep Comanche, but it runs just as well as any truck made today. And I will gladly come to see you.”

“You’re so sweet and I think you’re the cutest man I’ve ever seen!”

“Thank you!”

“Hey, what time is it?”

Ezra looked at his G-Shock, then answered, “10:44.”

“I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning, so I need to get some sleep. I too have high blood pressure because of my weight. It’s under control, thanks to the medications, but I need routine monitoring.”

“You do get disability as well, or at least your profile says so.”

“Yes, I get my Daddy’s survivor’s benefits. I use them to pay me and my Momma’s bills and the utilities. The trailer and the land are paid for, thank God!”

“Yes. Thank God indeed.” Ezra paused then continued, “There is something I want to tell you tonight, and every night before we go to sleep.”

“What is it?”

“Good Night Tidings.”

“Okay.”

“Here goes: I wish I was in your presence to lovingly give you good night hugs and a kisses goodnight, then gently tuck you into your bed. But I also pray that The Good Lord watches over both of us tonight and every night as we sleep. Finally I pray that we are together forever, because I only want you and no one else. Now, you get you some rest and I will take my medication.”

“That was very sweet and just know that I desire and pray for those very things as well!” Sadie paused then continued, “I will text you good morning and I will call you when I am out of my appointment. If you want we can spend some time then.”

“Okay. I will be waiting. I’ll probably watching boats tomorrow, but I’ll make time for you.”

“I know you will.”

“Okay, good night.”

“Good night.”

Ezra took his medicine then went to bed happier than ever.

Likewise Sadie went to bed filled with more joy than ever.

They dreamed about each other all night long…

Back to “An Online Romance”

My Current Situation according to my Narrative

This is my current situation as told according to my narrative.

It may be accurate, like it may be inaccurate. It may be both in varying degrees.

By the way, a handful of others familiar with my current situation will agree with this narrative.

Without further ado, here it is:

I believe some people who know me or at least know of me and they don’t want me to be happy. Most of these people are likely from my past, but a few are also in my present.

I had suspected this for some time, but a friend recently pointed it out to me that there are a lot of people who do not want me to be happy.

They are quite large in numbers and they all have their reasons, of which I will attempt to list:

If the ones from my past don’t want me to be happy, it’s because I must have done something to make them angry with me. When they see blessings and joy come into my life, they were infuriated. Some of these people date back to my childhood. I know I was opinionated and didn’t exactly fit in with the rest, as a child, but maybe I am a more unique individual as a result of this. Not only that, as a child I was prideful and flaunted my intelligence. It would be crazy to think that those from my childhood did not let go of their hatred for me, especially since I have not seen some of them in almost twenty years.

Some of the people from my more recent past don’t want me to be happy because of the content of what I write and how it conflicts with everything or at least some things they stand for. I’m told quite frequently how eloquent of a writer I am, so I guess I am gifted with getting my point across accurately with the written word. And, anyone who disagrees with my content would naturally feel threatened by this. The First Amendment protects my freedom of speech and expression, among other things, so they aren’t able to directly silence me, therefore, they resent me. When they see me experiencing joy and pleasure, they are overcome with contempt for me.

Another handful of people both in my past and present don’t want to see me happy because I do indeed get a disability pension while they go to work or worked most of their life. Automatically, most of them believe that anyone who is less than them materially or financially or simply doesn’t work as hard as they do/did doesn’t deserve to be any happier than they are, and yes, many of them are downright miserable. So seeing me happy makes them see red. While I am frequently negatively portraying these types of people in my writing, I do truly feel sorry for them, unlike the rest.

The final group of people who don’t want to see me happy is the ones who are opposed to my Faith in Jesus Christ. Let’s face it Jesus Christ is God come in the flesh and is tremendously polarizing. You either love Him with all that you’ve got or you hate Him with a passion. Those that are indifferent won’t be that way once they get to know of Him. There are many more who will hate Him than love Him because, among other things, He exposes everyone’s wickedness. Human beings are wicked but they hate it when their wickedness is proven to themselves much less to others. Yes, Jesus Christ exposes every bit of wickedness, but He is willing and able to pardon us of all that wickedness if we put our faith in Him. He paid a very dear price to accomplish this but the price is paid in full! Those who have had their wickedness pardoned by Him can’t help but love Him and yes I with them want to fall prostrate at His feet and worship Him with every fiber of my being! God be praised in Jesus’ Name! I pray that I will always submit and confess when Christ exposes the wickedness in my life. But the fact remains that He is my Lord and if they hate Him, they will automatically hate me. Many see all that I am blessed with and they are angered because it was all due to God’s unearned favor. But they are too prideful to come to Christ themselves.

There are also wicked beings in the spiritual realm who do not want me to be happy and they are the ones who carry out various attacks and hindrances on me. They are also activated by the resentment of my happiness from those four aforementioned groups of people. They are energized by the strife and their constant efforts are to propagate this strife everywhere to oppress humanity. Not to mention, they are angered more than anyone else by my Faith in Jesus Christ. The fact that I have been eternally redeemed despite all of my sins and shortcomings yet they cannot be redeemed no matter what elevates their anger to degrees far beyond what mortal man is capable of. That anger combined with the anger from the others is what fuels all these attacks and hindrances in my life.

I’m not sure whether or not even God my Heavenly Father wants me to be happy. Nowhere in the Bible is happiness ever promised. I know God wants me to be holy and expects me to be content in all situations because of what He gave me eternally. For the most part, I am content. Although, if my happiness is derived from godly sources, I know He is rejoicing with me!

I am still happy though, despite all of this, but I could be much happier. I know the one thing that would indeed make me happier, but it seems to be perpetually out of my reach. I believe it is held over my head and out of my reach by the wicked activities of demons in the spiritual realm, fueled by their hatred and the other people’s hatred of me. God allows this for whatever reason but I believe one day, though, He will intervene on my behalf and it will be at the perfect time. By the way, what I am desiring is both carnal and spiritual simultaneously. For a year and some months, I had such happiness but it was abruptly removed a few months ago. However, the whole ordeal has brought me closer to my God. I fervently pray that God restores that level of happiness in my life but only in such a way that glorifies Him! The previous source of happiness only glorified God to a slight degree and many times was instead a form of idolatry. There were other factors and ultimately I see how God allowed it to be removed from me for my protection.

There are other sources for my happiness, though, such as helping others whenever I can, especially helping my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Just going to church and fellowshipping with my brothers and sisters in Christ is a major source of happiness for me in and of itself. Another source of my happiness is the pleasure I get when I write something and I make all of my readers feel and think. This is especially true when I write a love story and I provoke all sorts of wonderful emotions from my readers. And even better, when I can cause my readers to feel what I am feeling, mission accomplished is all I can say! Those sources of happiness come from either God or within myself and it would be nearly impossible to be taken away. Of course, I am ashamed to admit that some material objects in my possession also provide a source of happiness, because they either supplement my hobbies or help me to be prepared. If not for anything else, they help meet my earthly needs. And not only that, they are definite reminders of how my God has blessed me immensely!

So, while many do not want me to be happy, they’re only able to take it so far, really only as far as God allows them to. Maybe God allows it to the degree He does as a form of correction upon me, after all, He corrects those whom He loves. But when God will be done correcting me, I know He has even more blessings in store for me and as long as I abide in Him, those blessings will remain. Of course, my goal must need be to abide in Him regardless, blessings, or no blessings!

You may believe this like you may not, but I feel it is true and parts of it I can back up with The Bible.

However, I will wholeheartedly admit that some is just my speculation.

Still, I think you, the reader, can see the validity and genuine nature of this piece.

I hope there is something to be learned from it.

That is all.

Thank you for reading and if you are a Christian, please consider praying for me, because I covet your prayers.

May God richly bless you!

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A Review of the Wenger Origins 9550-43 Backpack

By the way, I don’t own the featured image on this page and I give all credit to whomever credit is due.

I have been carrying my most frequently used possessions in a bag since about the age of five.

I’m thirty-three and almost thirty-three-and-a-half at the time of writing this piece.

So that means, I have been employing a bag in some way shape or form to carry my stuff, on the regular for about twenty-eight years.

I have been through quite a few bags over the years. Most were either backpacks or duffel bags.

Since the age of twenty-one or twenty-two, I have converted to strictly a backpack and always one made for one of the Swiss companies.

From October of 2019 until June of 2020, I had used a SwissGear City Backpack, which was wonderful don’t get me wrong.

However, I eventually wanted a backpack with more storage space, like for carrying extra clothing

Then, for most of May of 2020, I was almost sure that I had developed Type 2 Diabetes. I mean I was showing multiple symptoms. So, in my mind, I knew I would need a bigger backpack and possibly also a small cooler to carry my medical supplies associated with diabetes in addition to what I take for other conditions of which I am afflicted.

Finally, I wanted a backpack that I could deliberately show off as being Swiss. My SwissGear City Backpack has the Swiss Cross but it is transparent black on black instead of white on red. Pardon me for being so gosh durn vain, but I really do admire the Swiss people and I guess I like to show off when I have a Swiss item.

So, in late May, I began doing extensive research for the perfect backpack.

I read about hundreds of different models in my research.

Then I got on good old eBay.

It was there that I found a Wenger Origins 9550-43 Laptop Backpack and that is what this piece will be a review thereof.

I discovered it on eBay in the latter parts of May 2020.

It was selling brand new with tags but had a base price of $15.99 and $8.49 for shipping. That is a steal considering this backpack previously sold for ~$70!

I was broke in the latter parts of May 2020, but I shot a message to the seller asking if she could reserve it for me and I would gladly pay her on June 3.

She gladly did! She even unlisted it!

Usually, I complain about shipping charges, but I did not in this particular situation. This seller got the highest feedback rating possible!

So I ordered it first thing in the morning on June 3, 2020.

Despite Tropical Storm Cristobal, it arrived at my residence on June 8, 2020.

I was tremendously pleased!

Let’s rewind to May 25, 2020. I saw my doctor for my six month checkup and blood work.

My blood is monitored routinely because of the medications I take.

One of the variables that is monitored in my twice yearly blood work is my Hemoglobin A1C.

When my medical app alerted me to the results, I was shocked but relieved that my A1C was still in the normal range.

I wasn’t diabetic after all, but gosh durnit, I still show many symptoms.

I still wanted a new backpack though and I am glad I have this one!

Here are some specifications on my backpack.

The physical dimensions are 12.6 inches wide X 18.1 inches high X 9.1 inches deep (32 cm wide X 46 cm high X 23 cd deep)-Yes it is considerably more space consuming than my SwissGear City backpack but it can also carry more.

The tare weight is 1.89 pounds or 0.86 kilograms-Shouldn’t weigh a adult down too much.

The storage capacity is 1,281 cubic inches or 21 liters-Very generous.

There is a padded laptop compartment and a dedicated tablet pocket-Perfect for a traveling blogger.

There is a Pass-Thru trolley sleeve which allows this backpack to be carried on the handle of wheeled luggage-Ideal for airline or railroad travel.

Finally there is an Essentials organizer-Makes EDC more efficient.

In the front most compartment is a pocket on the outer wall which is perfect for carrying medication, then there is a deep storage space and on the back wall there is the essentials organizer with a wide pocket, three slots, a mesh pocket and a smartphone pocket with silky screen protective material. On the exterior of the front most compartment is a D-Ring for hooking keys on.

In the middle compartment is a large space which would be ideal for carrying clothing and/or personal hygiene items. This is more than just a day pack or a commuter backpack like the SwissGear City.

Finally in the main compartment there is a laptop sleeve which will accommodate up to a 15.6 inch laptop. There is also a tablet pocket which should fit most tablets. And there is even more generous storage space for books (such as my personal Bible) or anything else within reason to be carried, I also have two scanner radios in there. Also in the main compartment is a large mesh zipper compartment of which I carry my computer repair tools.

I definitely can see why this backpack would normally cost upwards of $70, but God blessed me immensely when I only had to pay a total of $24.48 for it and the seller was willing to wait for me.

This is just a tip of the iceberg on how God is constantly showering me with blessings!

By the way, I think I will still keep the SwissGear City backpack, but not as my main EDC backpack.

I hope my Wenger Origins backpack will last me for years to come.

Mine does have a very discreet MasterCard logo embroidered on the very front, but I am willing to ignore that.

Actually, I think the Wenger Origins backpack line was meant to be corporate gifts with logos on it, but I am not totally sure.

All in all this is a great backpack!

I give it a five out of five stars!

This therefore concludes my review of the Wenger Origins 9550-43 Backpack.

I hope you, the reader, have been informed, entertained and enlightened.

Thank you for reading and may God richly bless you!

Back to “Product Reviews”

 

How God Stopped Me from Converting to Wicca

This piece is a testimony of a saving work that God my Savior did in my life.

He didn’t have to do it, but He did and today I am exceedingly thankful that He did.

In this piece, I will share the story of how God prevented me from forsaking Christianity and converting to Wicca.

At the time I was a severely backslidden Christian. I got saved not even two years before this so, therefore, I was an immature believer, and several people caused me to stumble in the months between getting saved and this event.

It was in late January of 2006.

I was nineteen years old and a senior in high school.

I slept on the sofa in my parents’ living room every night and this night was no different.

A few months before this I had decided to keep a flashlight on me at all times, to the point of even sleeping with one in my pants pocket.

During my late teen years, before and after getting saved, I had an increasing interest in Wicca.

It seemed like a fun, peaceful, romantic and tolerant way of life, whereas Christianity still appeared abusive and controlling to me.

The enemy of my soul put those delusions in my head with great craftiness and malice.

If that wasn’t enough, I also had the assumption that there were lots of ample-sized women and girls who were practitioners of Wicca and this was a chance for me to meet some. Everyone who knows anything about me knows how I strongly gravitate towards bigger females and back then was no different.

Earlier, that very day, I had announced to my immediate family about how I was considering becoming a Wiccan.

My Dad was the most upset, but the others didn’t have much reaction.

I went to sleep excited about my decision.

As I slept on that sofa, a severe thunderstorm developed during the night.

Lightning or wind had damaged some grid infrastructure and knocked off the current.

I was woken up by wind, lightning, and thunder.

The house was pitch black, I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face.

So, I reached in my pants pocket for my flashlight, but it wasn’t there.

I knew it had fallen into the sofa, so I began to feel for it in the total darkness.

At that exact moment, a freight train was passing on the outskirts of my community.

My location was 3-4 miles south of the railroad line and normally the only way to hear a train was to be outside.

However, a North wind was blowing which carried and amplified the rumbling sound of the freight train.

As much as I am obsessed with trains, I didn’t think it was a train.

I sincerely thought it was a tornado and headed straight for me.

Think about it, there was a severe thunderstorm going on which was powerful enough to knock out the electricity. I always knew that severe thunderstorms can spawn tornadoes and late January is a frequent time for tornadoes in Louisiana. And not only that, I was always told that a tornado sounds like a freight train.

I was utterly terrified, probably more than I had ever been in my life.

The thoughts of how just hours ago I was planning on abandoning my Christian faith for Wicca haunted my heart and mind.

In the pitch darkness, I tried in vain to get to my parents’ bedroom and warn them of what I thought was a tornado but bumped and tripped all over the furniture.

In complete desperation, I called on God.

A split second later, the engineer of that train sounded the whistle.

I still panicked at first, because I thought it was warning sirens, not realizing that the Parish I was living in doesn’t have warning sirens.

God then sternly told me it was just a train and afterward, He asked me if I still wanted to become a Wiccan.

About that time my Mom and Dad woke up and saw that I was up as well.

I don’t remember the words we all exchanged but we soon went back to sleep.

At daybreak, the electricity was back on.

I also located my flashlight that was deep in the sofa and even thanked God for helping me find it.

I then got ready for school.

I still would take me a few years to completely return to God, but I pretty much gave up on converting to Wicca after what had happened that night.

If you are running from God, stop this instant and do a total 180 Degree turn. He will lovingly take you back into His arms, no questions asked.

Please, don’t run from God as long as I did, because if you do, the enemy of your soul will rob you of everything good and pure…

Back to “Matters of Faith”

Post Modernism’s Influence on my Thinking and Writing

Post Modernism has heavily influenced my later writings, I think that is obvious. It was since my late teen years that I was first exposed to it and at least on the subconscious level, it began to inspire me and take root. It wouldn’t be until my early twenties that it had begun to shape my writing.

In this piece, I will try and describe, how Post Modernism has influenced and inspired my writing. I will try to explore in greater detail than before how I was inspired to write these two stories. I think you, the reader, will be shocked when you find out how far back the inspirations go. I will also touch on the fact that Post Modernism is indeed very much in conflict with my Christian faith.

However, when I allow them to coexist within my heart and mind, I can write some beautiful things. However, Post Modernism is dangerous in all matters concerning the soul and I will admit that until the cows come home. The reason why I find Post Modernism so dangerous to the soul is because it strongly teaches that there is no absolute truth. In fact, I often joke how the Roman Governor Pontius Pilate was the world’s first adherent of Post Modernism, when he asked Christ, “What is truth?” As referenced in the Bible, John 18:38. Pilate eventually went crazy and likely never got saved.

The stories I have written under the influence of postmodern thought were inspired by many external factors that occurred on both my conscious and subconscious levels. Some of these inspirations can be traced back to the Spring of 2005. While there were others, I think the one that stands out the most is my infamous “Grocer and Writer” stories, though I didn’t begin the actual writing of them until the evening of June 30, 2014, and I began writing its replacement, “A Disabled Electrician Turned Writer” in February of 2017.

In a high school Psychology class, back in the Spring of 2005, we were working on an assignment to describe a house and to exchange it with a classmate, but if I remember correctly not to identify yourself. I immediately thought of an older house in the suburbs of New Orleans and in that house is a young man cuddling in bed with his girlfriend. I don’t exactly remember how I wrote it, but I know it was in better detail than the simple mentioning of it in this piece. I know exactly what inspired me to write that, but I am not going to reveal it, because a lot of people in my immediate circle will be angered if I do. When I witnessed what I wrote, almost a year prior, you, the reader, could say I had been exposed to Post Modernism for the first time since an unmarried couple that was cuddling in bed was and likely having relations as well was considered a sin, but here I was exposed to it. The person whom I exchanged it with seemed irritated in her answer to what I wrote and while I remember her name well, I will not mention it. Even though I was on a terrible medication and not very creative at that point in my life, I could still think of stuff like this from time to time. However, the little I was writing at this point in my life was totally different and even old fashioned, compared to the very urbane nature of my stories that reflect postmodern American society, especially those in this piece.

Fast forward to December of 2005, I began writing an anti-Christian Cult story, known as “The Textfile.” I’m not knocking Christians except for a few sects that teach how one must speak in tongues to be saved. That very teaching caused great distress in me. However, I now know that it isn’t Biblical and is borderline blaspheming in my book. I was initially inspired to write it whilst walking around the Houma suburb of Bayou Cane, Louisiana, but also, I had recently watched, “The Notebook” on DVD. I completed it in May of 2006, but then erased it sometime in 2013. In 2017, I began rewriting it strictly from memory, though it too is much more urbane than the original. I completed the newer version in 2019. Throughout the Summer of 2006, I would exchange this story with plenty of people whom I either met in chat rooms or through Myspace. I got some differing reactions, some enjoyed it, some loathed it.

In August or September of 2006, someone read the original version of “The Textfile” then sent me a copy of his or her story known as “Perplexed Existence.” It was a Christian story, written in first person about an emo high schooler who works at a convenience store and has an alcoholic and pill addicted mother. He meets a young lady who leads him to Christ. I read it in one sitting with my undivided attention with no idea how it would inspire my own writing in the future both consciously and subconsciously. I don’t know if it was a true story or a work of pure fiction, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Whomever the author was and I wish I could remember, but he or she was successfully able to combine Post Modernism with Christianity and did so better than I ever could.

In September of 2006, I was inspired to write a story about a young grocer and his relationship goals but didn’t write the first pieces of it until March of 2018. Throughout the rest of 2006 I was working quite a bit and didn’t have much time for writing, but still managed to do it now and then.

On January 7, 2007, I had met a girl and on that same day entered what seemed like a wonderful and very stable relationship with her, but years later it became quite toxic and finally terminated in 2018. I believe this relationship is also what made my writing more urbane and I quit writing with the old fashioned values my work initially possessed. Some of the people in her family could be seen as poster children of Post Modernism, but I won’t go into detail why because I am trying to make peace with the situation. Her family is influenced by Post Modernism and spreads that influence, in the way they carry themselves.

My writing was probably at its most filthy in the Summer of 2008 when I wrote something that was borderline pornographic about a couple that had met online. Let me say that I was a severely backslidden Christian who was not only writing such filthy literature but I was also fornicating and cohabitating. It was a young studly warehouse worker in Phoenix, Arizona who met a rich, lonely, slightly older but still young woman that lived in Salt Lake City Utah. They had cybersex, but then she invited him over to which he drove all night in his vintage Chevy Blazer and upon arrival, they did many kinky things both in her master bed/bathroom but also near the Great Salt Lake. At some point, after this, I promised The Lord and myself that I would never write anything pornographic again if I were to ever reference sexual intimacy in my writing, I would do so with taste and leave almost everything to the imagination from then on. I’d like to believe that I pretty much kept this promise, although I messed up a time or two. It was the Financial Collapse of 2008, that brought me out of my backslidden state. I started listening to shortwave to hear the rest of the world’s opinion on America and began to hear some Christian preaching as well. Ironically even a false Christian prophet played a role in getting me out of my severely backslidden state, as bizarre as that may sound. There was even a villain in one of my stories based on him.

I started attending church regularly in January of 2009 and attended that church until January of 2018. It was at this church where the ills of Post Modernism were first pointed out to me. I didn’t even know what Post Modernism was until I had attended there but then began to see it everywhere. This was both good and bad because it allowed me to get lots of inspiration for my writing, but also, I realized how bad a shape society is in and how far it fell from grace.

I finished trade school in November 2008 and went to work full time. In some of my free time, I would write. I purchased a small netbook in February of 2009, so I could write whenever I was on the go. I lost my job in September of 2009, due to a still crumbling economy. In October of 2009, I had taken a trip to the Esplanade Mall with my soon to be wife now ex-wife and was inspired to write a story about a teenaged couple at a strict and corrupt catholic high school. I stopped at a now-closed restaurant in Paradis, LA, where her family members were working and began writing some of it. They are suspended for public displays of affection. I called the story, iAffection. The boy comes from a well off family, but the girl and her mother are poor and she attends school on a voucher. I completed it some time in late 2009 or early 2010 and had revised it, but then did a little more work on it around 2019. However, this was my first story with the postmodern qualities and drew some inspiration from that story “Perplexed Existence”, but also the soap opera, “As the World Turns.”

On January 11, 2010, I started working for a God awful grocer and remained working there until September 23, 2011. This place inspired a good bit of my “Grocer and Writer” stories, that is for sure. Several characters were based on managers and coworkers from there, though I would write any of it until well after quitting. Also, around this time I had visited a young couple who was struggling financially and living in Paradis, LA. This moment would inspire a scene in “A Disabled Electrician Turned Writer.”

In the Summer of 2011, I began work on a dystopian story. It was about a teen couple in a forbidden romance because of the Nazi styled government in power. I had a dream back in February of 2003 which was the inspiration behind it. It was completed in the Summer of 2012. There are some postmodern elements to it. This story came to me in a dream I had quite possibly in the early morning hours of February 9, 2003, though it would take me another eight years to get it into text.

In February of 2012, I began writing “Radiant Affection”, which was initially supposed to be a form of repentance for writing “The Textfile.” I worked on it on and off until 2014, but I still contribute to it from time to time at the time of writing this piece. I know where to go with it, I just need to fill the gaps in between. This story doesn’t have the Post Modern element that the others do.

On June 30, 2014, after taking a trip with my parents and then-wife now ex-wife to the New Orleans area, I came home and was inspired to write what would be the beginning of my “Grocer and Writer” stories. As I’ve mentioned before, the New Orleans area has always been inspirational for my writing and it is inspirational to others in their respective forms of art. There is just something about it. Well, it takes place in New Orleans though not specifically mentioned in the stories themselves but little hints are left. The sins of fornication and cohabitation are committed in these stories, but my characters do repent and begin to plan marriage until one is murdered and the other dies of a broken heart. I wrote it initially from that day in 2014 until early 2016, when I felt as if I should write something that would not make the racial tension worse than it currently already was. While it reeks of Post Modernism, it also teaches that we all deserve to love and be loved, even despite appearance or disability.

So, in March of 2016, I began to write something that taught those similar values, but without all the racial and ethnic tension that was going on during the Obama years. It was about a train conductor and an aspiring writer who meet online in a writing forum. I didn’t get too far off the ground with it and eventually moved on to other things. Something else I wrote in 2015 and continued in 2016 was a teen drama known as “Those Years.” Both of these try to teach how everyone deserves to love and be loved. I didn’t get far enough with either story to have my characters commit any serious sins.

I had also taken quite a few trips to the New Orleans area throughout 2016, and just about every time, I drew at least some inspirations.

In February of 2017, I began writing another story, A Disabled Electrician turned Writer. It too takes place in the New Orleans area, though not exactly mentioned. I was inspired to write it by witnessing the lifestyles of those connected to my then in-laws now ex-in-laws. However, I wasn’t able to get that far with it. There are some sins of cohabitation and fornication that occur, but my characters do plan to repent. Like the others, it teaches that everyone deserves to love and be loved. I wrote it from 2017 to 2019, then went on hiatus.

In the Summer of 2017, I wrote, “Two Foamers in Love” but didn’t get very far with it. It is one of the least sinful stories influenced by Post Modernism; all sex occurs within wedlock and it is done discreetly. But you know what they say, right? Sex sells. Well, controversy in general sells. It is easier for me to write a sinful story than a wholesome one, a lot easier. God is dealing with me about this and has been for some time. Also, for whatever reason life seems more romantic before marriage than after. I don’t know if that is Post Modernism or just the human condition in general. Actually, there are some scriptures I could reference that deal with this subject and explain why married life isn’t as romantic as pre-married life and it is due to a curse put on humanity by God, to remind us that we are sinners in a fallen world.

In the early Spring of 2018, I began writing my “Relationship Goals of a Young Grocer” stories but didn’t get all that far with it. There is indeed some sin occurring, but still, I guess I was too distracted to focus on it. Well, I was going through a divorce and also trying to secure my own place of residence. Later in the Spring of 2018, April 16, to be exact, I wrote “An Autumn Squall Line” about an impoverished couple riding out a severe thunderstorm in a shotgun house in Uptown New Orleans. In the original version, they were cohabitating, but on August 11, 2018, I changed it to a married couple, though still quite impoverished. Around this time was when God began to deal with me about writing such sinful literature.

In the Fall of 2018, I wrote “Love Among Terrorism” which was dedicated to me and my then-girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend. There was no cohabitation nor fornication, just a terrorist attack and a couple worried about each other.

Throughout 2019, I had added pieces to many of the aforementioned series of stories. I also completed the new version of “The Textfile.”

In the last days of 2019, I went through a breakup, but then began writing a new Post Modern influenced story, with equal Christian influence known as “Second Chances.” I am going to try my durn well best not to let my characters sin, though they do spend an innocent Christmas Eve together and cuddle all night long. Like the others, it takes place in the New Orleans area. By this point, even my Post Modern influenced writing had evolved.

In early 2020, before this Coronavirus was an issue in The States, I began writing a new series known as “Bohemian America.” It takes place in New York City and the surrounding area, but there are references to Louisiana. Yes, there are some sexual sins, but only by a couple who is in love and does desire marriage, one of the members of that couple are triracial, and I wrote that to atone for previous works I had done that likely contributed to the racial tension in America. Again I was just inspired by all that I was observing, so can you, the reader, blame me? I sure hope not! I’ve only publically displayed a piece of it that doesn’t show the sinning.

While I have written plenty of factual works during this Coronavirus pandemic, I haven’t written any fiction to say fiction. It’s like a partial writer’s block has set in. Of course, I hadn’t been drinking my Wild Cherry Pepsi like I usually do, something which usually fuels my creativity. When life gets back to normal, hopefully, I’ll start writing fiction again and resume my “Second Chances” stories as well as “Bohemian America.”

Yes, intimacy is referenced in much of my Post Modern influenced writing but it is overwhelmingly done with taste and not in a pornographic fashion as was the case in 2008.

So, yes, Post Modernism has influenced my thinking since about 2004/2005 but didn’t start showing up in my writing until 2009 and not fully realized until 2014.

Yes, it makes good writing, but is in conflict with Christianity and certainly does not honor God, so likewise if I am going to continue writing with Post Modern influence, I’ll need God’s help to not allow it to be sinful.

Of course, if you, the reader, are a Christian, then I covet your prayers.

I guess this, therefore, concludes the piece on how Post Modernism has influenced my writing over the years and I hope you, the reader, have been informed, enlightened and maybe even entertained…

Back to “Personal Reflections”

A Review of the Maglite ML25LT LED Flashlight

Just for the record, I do not own the featured image on this page. Rather it is property of Mag Instrument, Inc.

Similarly to December of 2019 (but not as bad), money was tight again for February of 2020.

I wasn’t able to get out much or splurge much either.

However, a family member owed me $10.

Since all my other expenses were paid, I could get some groceries and something small for myself with that $10.

So on February 27, 2020, I went shopping at the Wal*Mart in East Houma, Louisiana.

As I always do, I checked out the flashlight section. It was there that I saw several quality flashlights on clearance.

One of them was a Maglite ML25LT LED flashlight going for $5.00 marked down from ~$20! I knew I couldn’t pass that up, since, almost three years prior, I had owned the incandescent version of it and it performs very well.

And it is that flashlight that this piece will be a review thereof.

I guess because of the increasing amount of crime of which our society is unfortunately subject to, Wal*Mart keeps even their flashlights under lock and key. So, to purchase this flashlight, I had to get an associate to unlock the glass case. I had to talk to several people and wait several more minutes to get that done, but finally, someone unlocked the glass.

After I selected the flashlight I had my eyes on, I walked to the grocery section and bought a few snacks.

The line to check out was agonizingly long, but then I finally checked out.

My total was just under $10 and I was happy.

Then, upon exiting Wal*Mart, the customers in front of me who had an extremely large order were checked by a doorman upon exiting and I thought I would be as well so I waited behind them, only to be told they didn’t need to check my purchases.

Talk about a waste of my time.

If Wal*Mart keeps up with these practices, no matter how necessary, it will begin to lose customers.

I get that these practices are in place in response to the ever-increasing amount of crime our society is subjected to, but the good are suffering for the bad.

Anyway, let me get off my soapbox because my preaching of morality probably does no good.

Now let’s talk about the flashlight I bought:

So when I got home, I unpacked it and installed two sparingly used Alkaline C batteries. Immediately, I was impressed by the brightness!

Days later, I discovered that mine is an updated version of the original ML25LT because it has two power settings whereas the original only had one.

To turn the flashlight on, turn the head counter-clockwise and turn until you have the beam pattern of your desire be it to spot or flood or something in between.

At the most optimum level of focus, the ML25LT is rated to have a beam distance of 337 Meters or ~1,105 Feet. This rating is believable as I will explain so in a bit.

On High Mode, it is rated to have a Light Output of 192 Lumens, which is also believable and it seems brighter than that, though I don’t have access to light measuring instruments.

The Peak Beam Intensity is rated at 28,474 Candelas, which is maybe why it seems to be brighter than 192 Lumens-there is quite a difference between Lumens and Candela/Candlepower, don’t be fooled!

It is rated to survive the impact of a 1 Meter fall onto concrete, which knowing Maglite, it can probably sustain much worse than that and still function perfectly! I’ve read stories of Maglites withstanding far worse abuse and still working, Mr. Maglica probably gives such a humble rating for CYB purposes.

It has a Water Resistance rating of IPX4, which means it is immune to splashing water from any direction (like commuting on foot at night in the rain.) Again, Tony Maglica probably agreed to that rating for CYB purposes because I’ve read testimonials of Maglite being immersed in deep water for months to years and still working. But don’t try and test the limits.

At High Power, it has a runtime of 7 Hours on two fresh Alkaline C sized batteries and at Low Power, it has a run time of 72 Hours on the same power source. Those specifications are pretty gosh durn generous if you ask me!

While I did buy this on impulse, I do find myself carrying it in my backpack for two reasons:
It is far lighter and more compact than my Bushnell T750L, which was weighing down and probably would eventually damage my backpack.
AND
While not as bright as that Bushnell, it is still bright enough for the purpose I was ultimately using the Bushnell, which was night time commuting on foot.

In December of 2019 when I purchased my Bushnell I was not attending church, but about two weeks later I found another church and I love it there. One of my evening foot commutes is for a weekly Bible Study. In the dead of winter, it is dark both going to the evening church service and returning, however, in the very late winter, spring and summer it is only dark for the return commute. I also sometimes make groceries or buy a small meal at night and I go on foot to save gasoline.

When the beam is set to focus, the downrange light foes very far and maybe even further than the rated 337 Meters or 1,105 Feet, of course, I’m just eyeballing it. And I can lower the power level by turning it off then quickly back on if I think the brightness will disturb neighbors or motorists I encounter while walking around at night.

There had been some talk floating around for years that Maglite was late in the game as for coming out with high powered, high quality LED flashlights, but now I think they are finally catching up. While they may not be a bright as their fellow American SureFire, they may be on par with the high-quality Chinese lights such as NiteCore.

Tony Maglica will be turning 90 years old this year (2020 at the time of writing this) if he hasn’t already, so I only wonder how much longer will he stay at the reins of Mag Instrument?

I hope whoever takes his place will have the same commitment to top quality and American-based manufacturing!

My main EDC flashlight which I have on my person almost constantly is a Streamlight JR LED. This Maglite ML25LT does seem brighter and depending on how you look at it, it is. While the Streamlight JR puts out a whopping 225 Lumens, the Peak Beam Intensity is only 2,700 Candela and the Beam Distance is only 104 Meters or ~341 Feet. Did I not say there was a difference between Lumens and Candela/Candlepower? I will still probably carry my Streamlight JR no matter what, but while I’m commuting on foot at night, I would like something more powerful, hence the Maglite ML25LT. The Bushnell was also good, but too bulky.

All in all most of the time and especially this time, Maglite is a tried and true winner!

I give this product a 5 out of 5 stars!

This, therefore, concludes my review of the Maglite ML25LT LED flashlight.

I hope, you, the reader, have been informed and maybe a little entertained.

Thank you for taking the time to read my review and may God richly bless you!

Back to “Product Reviews”

Ideas for Dating on a Budget

Valentine’s Day came and went and I had no one. However, I have had significant others in the past and I derived some of these ideas from previous relationships.

I also was suffering a considerable amount of writer’s block, for over a week, but now it appears to have left me.

Therefore, I’ve been inspired to write a piece about Ideas for Dating on a Budget.

Being disabled and living on a pension gives me a sharp edge of expertise on this very subject and I hope it will give inspiration and be a source of hope and happiness to all who are struggling financially.

This piece will contain a list of ideas for you to have fun while getting to know someone of your romantic interest and yet not draining your bank account or tying up too much of your credit line.

I will say that if someone only wants you for just your money and not your heart, then try to make yourself a better person, which ultimately can only be done through The Blood of Christ. All that money can be taken away quickly but it is very difficult to ruin a good heart!

If you are seeing someone and that person likes you because of your heart, then congratulations, this piece will be of great benefit.

I will say that if more people were attracted to hearts instead of finances, social statuses and even to some degree appearances, then this wretched world would be far less wretched!

Here are a few of my ideas:

For any given weeknight or a Sunday night watch and discuss the late local news together. This will give you and your partner a chance to know each others’ position on a number of issues and concern and it may help you or your partner form a position and be better informed in general. While doing so, both of you can eat a Hunt’s Snack Pack pudding of your choice. I mean a pack of four cups usually sells for ~$1+tax or just $1 if on SNAP. I know I frequently poke fun at The Ruble, I mean, The Dollar General, but this is a wonderful place to stock up on the aforementioned pudding and other similar snacks such as Vanilla Wafers (which go great with pudding) or Chips and Salsa. Since it is local news, there is no need for cable subscription although you will need a digital-ready television or a converter box for that older television set. You will also need a decent antenna. You can usually get a good enough and sometimes even a digital-ready television set for under $10 at Good Will and a wall-mounted indoor antenna can be had at again, The Dollar General or even cheaper on eBay.

For a Saturday lunch, let me caution you that this has a little bit of prep work, but: Go to Wal Mart and buy a loaf of Great Value sliced white bread an eight-piece fried chicken meal, the condiment of your choice, though I highly recommend Sandwich Spread and a small jar of pickles. Invest in a decent thermal mug for you and your significant other, if you are careful you can get each one at Five Below, but make sure it isn’t lacking any parts before buying. Also, buy the 2 Liter Sam’s Choice Soft Drink of yours or your significant others’ fancy. You can get the disposable utensils for free from the deli in larger Wal Marts. Then walk or drive to your nearest park, find a picnic table or spread out a blanket in a nice place to sit. Debone the chicken thoroughly and I mean make durn sure all the bones are out! Place it on two slices of bread, add the pickles and spread the condiment with the utensils you picked up from the deli. Then pour your soft drinks into a thermal mug and voila, you have several chicken sandwiches and drinks. Minus the thermal mugs this meal can be had for under $10! Sit and eat together then maybe cuddle on the blanket and look up at the sky while talking! If there are children nearby, some parents might get angry at public displays of affection, so just be mindful.

If there is a Circle K near you and it has a place to sit, another thrifty date idea would be to each get a microwaveable sandwich or biscuit or burrito which starts at $1.99+tax. The Jalapeno Cheeseburgers sold there are one of my favorites. But here’s the best part a Polar Pop Fountain drink of any size and some sizes are close to a Liter only costs 79 Cents+tax! Some Circle K stores have a dining counter and some have a picnic table outside and they are usually open around the clock. This is especially great if you and your bae are out late at night and hungry or thirsty. Be a little careful with public displays of affection while there because some of the workers may think it’s sweet, but others might be irritated by it.

For weekday mornings if both of you are available, an excellent idea is to go thrifting. Some of these thrift stores sell an article of clothing for 25 Cents! Yes, you read that right! You and your bae could potentially get an entire wardrobe for next to nothing! And while you and your bae are at it, choose clothes that make you highly attracted to each other, but as a Christian, I must add, please keep it modest. There are also some useful household and entertainment items that can be had sometimes for about 5%-10% of what they cost brand new at retail price. Many times these items are still in mint condition. And if thrifting in and of itself isn’t incentivized enough for you, just know that many times your money pays workers who are disabled and gives them a purpose!

For a stormy day, a decent idea would be to stay at one of your places and read together. Guys’ you should drive to your lady’s place instead of having her drive and put her in danger. You and your bae could even cuddle while reading. And I would be even more thrilled if you and your bae decided to read some of the stories I have written, but be cautious some of my fiction work can put the readers in the mood for intimacy, and as a Christian, I must state clearly that intimacy should only occur within wedlock. With that being said, I know very well that we are in a wretched fallen world and many times the flesh’s desires overpower the spirit’s desires. However, if intimacy occurs out of wedlock, the wedlock ought to follow!

For a Friday night date or a payday evening date first, take your bae to either Wendy’s or Taco Bell. There are several cheap and delicious meal deals that can be had here. If your bae likes Pepsi, Taco Bell. If your bae likes Coke, Wendy’s. Might I add there are some awesome Creme Sodas at Wendy’s! Although after eating at the establishments you and your bae might be embarrassed to be around each other. That’s why both of you go shopping immediately afterward, maybe get each other something small but nice and personable at Target or Wal Mart or even Academy. And while shopping for gifts for your bae, make use of the restroom facilities to purge all of that unpleasantness. If the night is still young then maybe go out for a drive and spend a few hours talking or listening to music or both!

This would be a great daytime outing any day of the week if you and your bae are near a navigable waterway: both of you could go for a walk along that said waterway and watch boats and barges pass by. Now I myself would love to have my scanner on and listen so I know when a vessel would be coming. However, the language that the maritime workers use over the radio even though they are legally not supposed to is filthy and highly offensive. So I would not turn my scanner on in that situation. Any young lady whom I would date, I would have a vast amount of reverence for her and therefore I would certainly not use filthy language in her presence nor would I want to expose her to it, but that is just me. I don’t curse in the presence of ladies, period no ifs ands or buts. The only times I find myself slipping up with bad language is if I am by myself or around worldly men. However, I noticed that even some worldly men clean up their language when talking to me! Anyway, this would be a cheap form of exercise and entertainment. There are usually parks or at least walking paths near most waterways.

And that’s all I can think of at the moment, but if others come to mind I will update this piece.

Furthermore, if you and your bae ever get married and/or if your financial situation ever improves, still do these every at least now and then. Not only will it be a budget-friendly getaway but it will also bring back very fond and pleasant memories!

These are very good ideas and if anyone were to turn his or her nose up to all of them, then they aren’t worth dating.

However, if someone would jump at the opportunity to spend time with you, these are very good ideas and you need to marry that person anyway!

That’s all I have. I hope you, the reader, have been well informed.

Thank you for reading. And yes, my writer’s block is gone for now!

Praise God!

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