My First Love

I was but four years old, the very first time I had fallen in love if one could call it that. This girl had the biggest impact on my life, more than probably anyone else with whom I crossed paths, aside from Jesus Christ.

Only those very close to me know this fact and many others assume, that my first love was a girl two years my junior whom I met in September of 1994 and lived up the street from me. I was with her from ages seven to nine.

The reality is, I met my first love some time early in 1991.

It was while attending a church nursery and/or preschool in the railroad town of Schriever, Louisiana.

This was a very rough time in my life, but this girl was so sweet to me, that I couldn’t help but fall for her, even though I was so young.

The reason why my life was rough at this time is that my brother and sister were infants and my parents didn’t have much time for me. I guess I took this hard because before this I was an only child. The other reason is that someone tied to my family was frequently beating the living daylights out of me. I have since forgiven him for beating me and am only bringing it up in this piece because it contributed to this traumatic part of my childhood. I was also special needs but no one at the time realized it.

I was sent to this church every Monday and Tuesday so I could interact with children around my age. To tell the truth, I hated going there, even though it was the only place I saw her.

She and I were always the first two children to arrive in the morning, so that is how we grew “close.”

There was also something about her, even though she was maybe only a little older than me, that she could tell when I was in distress and always had a way of comforting me.

There was even a time I happened to see the man who was beating me while being driven to that preschool and had my first of many panic attacks as a result.

When I arrived, Kristen saw that I was upset and somehow, she managed to calm me down.

There were numerous other times as well when she comforted me, though the only phrase I ever remember her saying is “Don’t worry.”

I ended up falling for her because of her kind heart, but also I thought she was beautiful.

She had porcelain skin, brown eyes, and light brown hair.

She frequently wore either blue and pink dresses. I don’t think I ever remember seeing her wear pants or shorts, which makes me wonder if she was raised in the United Pentecostal Church International or a fragmented church with similar doctrine. This church, by the way, was not UPCI or a non-denominational/fragmented church. Some of those churches strictly enforce dress codes, especially for women and girls, and also frequently teach their members to be reclusive from society and could be the reason why I have not seen her again.

Then in July of 1991, I would be taken out of the church preschool. Unfortunately, I would attend a far worse place for the next nearly ten years.

I remember the day I left very well. She crawled up to hug me goodbye, but I turned her down for fear of being teased.

That probably hurt her feelings immensely and I still regret it almost 30 years later at the time of writing this.

This was one of the worst mistakes of my life and if I had my life to live over, I would somehow have found a way to stay in touch with her, knowing what I know now.

To my knowledge, I’ve never seen her again.

The one time I think I might have seen her was on Easter Sunday, April 11, 2004, at the Wal-Mart in Thibodaux, Louisiana, but this is strictly speculation.

Since 2001, I’ve been trying to locate her and over the years I have asked hundreds if not thousands of women and girls with her first name if they were indeed her. None of them have ever told me “yes.” Many of them never replied, to begin with. Unfortunately a few have blocked me, for nothing more than asking an honest and harmless question. I feel as if people have become extremely block happy in recent years.

In 2004 and 2005, I went back to that church to look for her and did come across a couple of classmates since then but none of them remember her. Pay close attention to that fact!

Because her first name is Kristen, that means there are numerous methods to spell it and I am nowhere near sure of the exact spelling. This on top of not knowing her middle or last name nor even what year she was born in has made locating her all the more difficult.

This is the first time I am 100% public about this very personal story in my life, previously, I’ve only told people whom I deeply trust and I’ve gotten mixed reactions ranging from them thinking I am delusional to them thinking that she and I are indeed meant to be and to not give up on finding her one day.

While I was going through a divorce, I had renewed efforts in trying to locate her.

My main fear is that with me going public with this personal story, there will be some imposters that show up, which is why I have left out the details of exactly which church in Schriever, Louisiana, I met her at or the names of the teachers and other classmates, all of which I vividly remember.

I’ve come across several other classmates from that preschool and nursery, over the years, but the most shocking thing is none of them remember her at all.

I know some would maybe think that she was an angel that only I or maybe a few others could see.

The only reason why I wonder whether or not she’s an angelic being that only I could see is that I remember the teacher saying her name.

BOMBSHELL: She is the truest reason why I decided to start writing back on April 10, 2003. I used my memories of Kristen for most of my inspiration in my early days of writing.

There had been other women and girls who had inspired me to create characters and there had been some young ladies who reminded me of characters I created.

Unfortunately, I got into a relationship with a young woman which resulted in marriage and then ultimately divorce. The relationship lasted from 2007 to 2018.

Around 2014, I started searching for Kristen again, but to no avail. In that year, I also started writing stories again with her as my inspiration. Several of them are up on my blog.

In the latter parts of 2018, I stopped searching altogether, because I had entered into a very loving and stable relationship with a young lady that looked like a younger yet grown-up version of Kristen. Also, I took the fact that she was born in 1991 as a sign that she was the one. Unfortunately, on December 4/5, 2019, she called it quits on me. I was crushed but am finally starting to heal from it. I had gotten into a few brief relationships since but I always ended them for one reason or another.

A certain part of me wants to find her and find out whatever happened to her. Then my delusional self would either try to get to know her and maybe we could fall in love again or at least find out where she is now and let her know the impact she had on my life because it is a tremendous one, then wish her the best. I’ve also come to terms that she could be deceased and if that is the case, I want to visit her burial site and pay great homage and reverence to her. If she is still alive, romantically available and we meet again and get to know each other, physical features such as her size or facial beauty will not matter to me. Almost everyone who knows me knows that I am only attracted to plus-sized and/or super-sized women with pretty faces, but for her, I would try to pursue her no matter what she looked like. Also, nothing in her past would matter to me either, I would take her for who she is because I would remember how kind to me she was back then. For her, I could relax just about all of my standards. I do realize though that this is just a fantasy and that I need to move on.

Since 2014, I have been mentally creating stories of her and I together again after she helps me make a daring escape from some terrible people that had me captive. Because 2021 is the thirtieth anniversary of her and I meet, I may write down some of these stories. By the way, in my mind, they always took place in the year 2021! Possibly stay tuned. There is only one I wrote and did so in February of 2018.

Just for the record, I no longer think she and I are meant to be. The Lord has been showing me what my future spouse will be like and, she is similar in some ways but younger and nowhere near as maternal (for lack of a better word) towards me, though still very loving and affectionate. Also, with me being the male sex, God expects me to do [most of] the protecting and comforting not the other way around, so this is probably the main reason why he hasn’t allowed me to find her, assuming she is not an angel. At the risk of sounding unpopular, God indeed has established certain gender roles! Don’t shoot the messenger…

That’s all I have, for now, thank you for taking the time to read.

Back to “Personal Reflections”

Pairing a Royal Crown Cola with a Moon Pie

So, over ten years ago, I had discovered a Southern delicacy of pairing a Royal Crown Cola with a Moon Pie.

I drank R. C. Cola now and then in early childhood because my Paternal Grandparents were very frugal and R. C. is indeed the cheapest name brand cola there is. My parents on the other hand, especially my Mom fervently drank Coca-Cola. On and off since the age of nine, I had been a fervent Pepsi drinker, and especially since the age of twenty when I discovered their Wild Cherry version, which still to this day is my favorite soft drink.

I only consumed Moon Pies during Mardi Gras and Saint Patrick’s Day parades when they were thrown from floats to parade watchers. Growing up, we ate Little Debbies, especially the Oatmeal Creme Pie variety, more than anything else.

It was some time in 2009 or early 2010 when I had discovered the pairing of a Moon Pie with an R. C. Cola. I was researching scanners (as in the device used to listen in on two-way radio communications) and was reading about the Radio Shack Patrolman Radio receivers of the 1960s. Yes, the Patrolman line eventually included scanners, but before scanners being invented, the Patrolman radios were tuneable radios that initially covered either the VHF High or VHF Low Band and the AM (Medium Wave) Broadcast Band. These were very popular in the 1960s due to the high degree of civil unrest of the decade and citizens desiring to listen in on law enforcement communications. By the way, these communications were [almost] totally in the clear in those days. There was no encryption and certainly no digital communications. In my research, I discovered a picture of a Radio Shack Patrolman radio in the background and an individually-sized bottle of R. C. Cola with a wrapped Moon Pie in the foreground. That was the first time I had seen this combination.

Now as many of you know, I was born and raised in Southeast Louisiana. And yes I still reside there. Louisiana is certainly part of the South, at least physically, but the culture of Louisiana located below the U. S. Highway 190 corridor (give or take) is quite different from the rest of The South. For example, the white people here are mostly of French Canadian descent (Cajun-I have some in me.) There are also a few people of Parisian French ancestry here (myself included, as my surname suggests, and on both sides of my family.) In the heavily industrialized area between New Orleans and Baton Rouge along the Mississippi River, there is a high concentration of people with German ancestry (it is a lot like The Midwest, actually.) Among others, in the New Orleans area, there are people descended from Irish and Italian immigrants (quite similar to Brooklyn New York.) In rural parts of Louisiana, there are the Islenos, who are of Spanish ancestry (the Canary Islands, to be exact.) So this part of Louisiana is much more culturally diverse than the rest of the mostly Anglo-Saxon South. Therefore, some of the customs and traditions that are common and dear to most of the South are unknown to this part of Louisiana.

In more recent years, I had discovered that I do indeed have some more typical Southern (Anglo Saxon) roots on my Maternal Grandpa’s side. His ancestry comes not only from Germans and Irish people residing in Louisiana but also his ancestry can also be traced back to Mississippi and Alabama. It made perfect sense to me and explains a lot because I act more Southern than those that surround me. For example, I am Protestant as opposed to Catholic, although I was raised Catholic, at least in name only. I’m told that my writing and speech patterns sound more Southern, than Cajun though, my accent is a unique combination of New Orleans Y’at (which sounds similar to Brooklyn) and Cajun (which has a sound all of its own.) I’ve only known one or two other people who sounded like me and they were raised in a similar environment. I was not raised on Country Music, but acquired a taste for it in 2004. However, I think Country Music has had a sharp decline in quality since about 2013. I thoroughly enjoy listening to Redneck comedians and can relate to their humor. I am very Pro Second Amendment (which is indeed common between Cajuns and Rednecks, alike.) I am indeed attracted to plus-sized and super-sized ladies, a trait that is stereotypical of Redneck men, but I’ve since learned that men from all walks of life carry this trait. I frequently listen to scanners, another hobby many times associated with Rednecks. The only sport I will watch is NASCAR. I’m quite proficient at do-it-yourself projects when I need to be. I strive to be polite and mind my manners, which is highly valued in The South, but sadly not always in my part of Louisiana. And if I do it right, I can fry chicken just like Colonel Sanders. Therefore, I tend to associate and espouse more with Southern Culture than extreme South Louisiana Culture.

I think you, the reader, now get my point on how South Louisiana is different from the rest of The South.

The reason why I wrote all of this, was to explain how, despite technically growing up in The South, it wasn’t until adulthood that I discovered the combination of R. C. Cola and Moon Pie and when I did, it was totally by accident. However, I do have some true Southern blood pumping through my veins and I do indeed espouse its culture much better than the culture that surrounds me.

Moon Pies and Royal Crown Cola were both invented in Southern States, Tennesee and Georgia, respectively.

Moon Pies were invented as the result of a Kentucky coal miner suggesting to a Chattanooga bakery salesman upon being asked what kind of snack would he like the company to make. Legend has it, the miner told the salesman for the snack to have two round Graham cookies with marshmallow creme in the middle. He then proceeded to hold his hand up to the sky as if he were cupping the Moon in his hands and then continued that the snack should be “as big as The Moon.” The salesman took the miner’s request to heart and began producing Moon Pies, which were outselling all of their other baked goods. Initially, Moon Pies were plain, but soon afterward they were dipped in Chocolate. In later years they were dipped in other flavors such as Banana, Vanilla, and others.

Royal Crown Cola was ultimately invented over a dispute between a Columbus, Georgia, grocer and a Coca Cola salesman. The grocer thought that Coca Cola ought to give him a discount given the high volume of Coca Cola syrup he purchased from the company. The salesman refused. The grocer refused to ever purchase from Coca Cola again and began to formulate his own cola, ultimately coming up with Royal Crown Cola.

In my personal opinion, Royal Crown tastes better than Coke and almost as good as Pepsi, but due to its more affordable price, I drink R. C. more frequently than Pepsi. I think if R. C. followed Pepsi’s practices and used Cane Sugar in their drink, it would taste indeed as good as Pepsi. Coke typically uses HFCS in their American formula although, this wasn’t always the case. Had Coke continued using Cane Sugar, my Paternal Granpa may have been employed well into his 80s. He was a foreman at a local sugar factory and Coca-Cola was in the process of buying the plant. However, the deal fell through, the factory subsequently shut down and he was forced into retirement at the age of 61. I believe he genuinely wanted to be employed because, after retiring, he continued aggressively raising cattle and produce until the ripe old age of 89. He passed away at the age of 94. My Maternal Grandpa, on the other hand, worked for South Central Bell (now part of AT&T) but died twenty-nine years before I was born at the young age of only 42. He is the one that I inherit my Southern traits from and I am told how I take after him in so many ways. Like me, he was into technology and I wish he would have lived to be an old man so I could have known him and so he could have witnessed all of the great inventions that would come into existence after his death.

…Moving on…

I would drink R. C. Cola sparingly as a child and hadn’t drunk it for years until about the age of 26, when I was purchased some at a convenience store in San Antonio, Texas. Immediately, I recognized that it tasted considerably better than Coke and almost as good as Pepsi. I would drink it from time to time for the next few years.

After a failed marriage, I moved into my own place in May of 2018. My residence is but a few feet from a Dollar General, so I do a considerable deal of shopping there. Dollar General is also a typically Southern entity, though probably not as glamorous. I may give that said retailer some business from my testimony of what can be purchased there and not at other stores (R. C. Cola being an example.) But I also find myself poking fun at The Dollar General, comparing the shopping experience there to that of shopping in the USSR and their satellite states. I even go as far as frequently referring to it as “The Ruble General”, but only in harmless jest.

But I frequently buy my soft drinks at The Dollar General. And R. C. Cola is sold at the rate of 2 Liters for $1.00+tax. There are other quantities at which it is sold there but I don’t immediately recall the price. Coke and Pepsi most of the time are sold there for $1.80+tax unless they are on sale. I’m on a disability pension, so I must needs make my money stretch. I also buy some snacks at The Dollar General. A box of six Miniature Moon Pies can be had for, I think, also $1.00+tax. I would say that is indeed a bargain, considering inflation!

It was some time in 2020, around the time when Coronavirus became an issue that, I finally decided to try a Moon Pie and an R. C. Cola together. I indeed purchased them at my local Dollar General. I instantly enjoyed the combination and have been purchasing them ever since. As of lately, I am even getting my neighbors hooked on them. The way I most prefer consuming them is microwaving a Moon Pie for exactly 6 seconds (my microwave oven is rated a 700 Watts, your time may vary) and then eating it and then washing it down with an ice-cold R. C. Cola.

There are several theories on how Royal Crown Cola became paired with Moon Pies, but the one I’ll accept most is that during the Great Depression they were a cheap but energy-dense source of food and drink. They offered the most calories per unit of currency in a time when money was extremely tight. Not only that, they were very palatable and could hold up most men performing work that was many times physically demanding. An original Moon Pie which was four inches and diameter and a 12 ounce R. C. Cola paired together, sold for a total of one Dime. So it became an instant hit with the working class throughout the South.

But, nowadays, they are popular throughout the South and with more than just the working class.

Now I am indeed disabled. But, even with inflation adjustments, an R. C. Cola paired with a Moon Pie is a cheap thrill that can be afforded to me even though I am on a fixed income. I think of the pictured that I mentioned earlier in this piece and many times I too eat a Moon Pie and drink an R. C. Cola whilst listening to my scanner. This is a frugal way to have a good time. Some of my neighbors have also picked up on this habit.

Before I became totally disabled, I always wanted to have a son so he and I could hang out in the kitchen and listen to our scanners, especially at night. I’m 34 at the time of writing this and have no children, as of yet. God has shown me what my true future spouse will be like and He equally told me to be patient in finding her. If I ever do have children, I’ve always wondered if instead of singing songs they hear on the radio, as most kids do, they will repeat track bulletins and vessel names along with their positions that they hear on my scanners. I would get a kick out of that as would all my friends that also listen to scanners. I’ll have to be careful with the marine traffic, though, especially if I ever have a daughter, because of the foul language sometimes used on those marine channels. Just the other morning, I heard the Mother F word uttered on Channel 13 by an angry boat captain. Such a phrase is completely uncalled for in any circumstance and can get someone killed if he or she utters it to the wrong person. Enough about that, let’s focus on more pleasant things. Maybe one day, God will bless me with children and we will be hanging out in my kitchen listening to scanners, eating Moon Pies, and drinking R. C. Cola.

Because this blog is read worldwide, I’m not sure if you, the reader, have ever heard of combining a Moon Pie with an R. C. Cola much less if these products are available near you. My suggestion is if you live in The States, check out your local Ruble, I mean Dollar General.

If you’re able to purchase these, please do so. I don’t think you will be disappointed! After all, it is a tried and true favorite.

So, I guess this concludes my article on R. C. Cola and Moon Pies.

I hope you, the reader, have been informed and maybe even entertained.

May God richly bless you!

Back to “Articles I have Written”

A Review of the SwissGear 3906 Backpack

Just so we can be clear, I do not own the featured image on this page. Rather, I downloaded it from SwissGear’s company website and it is their property, not mine.

Now, I had thoroughly enjoyed my SwissGear 3918 Backpack which I owned from July of 2020 until some time in October of 2020 when an integral part of it cracked.

I had spent the night at a friend’s house and there is a woman who sponges off of him. She is constantly bringing shady characters into his house and I am sometimes afraid that they will steal my belongings. So, I had kept my SwissGear backpack underneath the seat of the car I owned at the time. The next morning I retrieved it and the plastic piece that regulates the suspension straps had cracked. I could no longer use that strap. To say the least, I was ticked off.

So, later that day, I exchanged it at my local Target for store credit loaded on a gift card. I bought another SwissGear backpack but, I didn’t fancy it much. I’m not sure of the exact model number but I intend to sell it when I can.

So, then on November 3, 2020, I had a little money left over after paying all my monthly expenses. Therefore, on that day, after voting, of course, I purchased a SwissGear 3906 Backpack and that is what this piece will be a review of. Honestly, I hope this is the last backpack I will need for at least a few years.

Let me first say that as many of you know, I have a compulsive need to EDC or everyday carry. I’ve been engaging in this behavior positively since the age of seven (early 1994.) So I’ve been doing this long before it was cool and I have caught some considerable degrees of flak over the years for being this way. After all, it wasn’t until my mid to late twenties that EDC became accepted as a norm. I’m not sure about catholic churches but definitely in Protestant churches many of the faithful bring their EDC items to church services. I mean, I have been doing so since about 2017.

So I have had this backpack for a little over a month and a half at the time of writing this and so far I enjoy it even more so than my 3918. I think the reason why I like it even more because there is more carrying space for items that I specifically carry.

As mentioned in a previous review of SwissGear backpacks, I have high regard for the Swiss. So, naturally, I like to show off an item that represents them. Furthermore, the emblem of the cross against the red background is also one of my ways I make a statement for Jesus Christ and my faith in Him. That is why I use Swiss themed backpacks and other travel gear whenever I can.

What stands out most about why I like this particular model so much is in addition to a laptop sleeve as well as a tablet sleeve, there is also a sleeve for files and folders. I also appreciate the fact that there is a place for books where I can place my Bible and Bible study materials.

There is a place for my medication and medical supplies.

There is a compartment for my glasses

There are spaces for the small items I carry with me.

There are pockets where I can carry drinks.

And there is even a spot for me to put my computer repair tools!

This is what the company website had to say about the SwissGear 3906:

“Pack your essentials for school, work, or your next adventure with the Swissgear 3906 Laptop Backpack. Made of a durable polyester fabric, this bag has all the features you are looking for in an everyday backpack and is the ideal companion for those that are always on the go.

Built around an ergonomically sound shoulder strap and back panel carrying system, this backpack features a large main compartment perfectly suited for carrying bulkier items such as binders and books. Also featured is an electronics-only compartment for better laptop protection as well as a full-featured organizer compartment for pens, notepads, and ID cards. Remain hydrated by putting that water bottle or cold drink in either of the two stretch mesh side pockets. And for those frequently needed items, there is even a spot for them in the top compact zip pocket and the well-disguised front vertical zippered pocket.”

SwissGear is indeed telling the truth here!

I think this company makes the perfect everyday carry and travel accessories for any civilian!

SwissGear’s website also lists these additional features (and I shall add my commentary on them):

Electronics compartment with padded tablet pocket and padded laptop sleeve with built-in corner hold-down strap designed to carry most 15″ portable computers-I don’t currently own a laptop but I hope to in the future. However, I do carry my tablet and Bluetooth keyboard here.

Large capacity main compartments with built-in file/folder pocket-Perfect for carrying my Bible and related materials.

Organizer compartment with key/clip fob, slip pocket, and multiple divider pockets-I carry my tactical flashlights and radios here.

Front quick access pocket and vertical-zip pocket and for more frequently needed items-This is where I carry my medicine and medical supplies.

Ergonomically contoured, padded shoulder straps with built-in suspension and breathable mesh fabric for hours of carrying comfort Padded, Airflow back panel with mesh fabric for superior back ventilation and support-As mentioned before, this makes carrying comfortable even in hot climates. This also is a more comfortable carrying method considering my lower back pain.

Add-a-bag trolley strap on back panel to easily glide over carry-on’s telescopic handle-This makes rail, air, or bus travel easier, at least when carrying multiple pieces of luggage.

Twin-compartment side mesh pockets for two water bottles and more-Perfect for staying hydrated whilst on the go.

Padded top carry handle with side metal carabiner-style D-ring to attach gear to-This is where I attach my keys.

Mini loop for hanging-I guess this would be useful for schoolchildren when they hang up their backpacks.

The physical specifications according to the company website are as follows:
Dimensions: 18 x 12 x 6.5 inches or 45.72 X 30.48 X 16.51 centimeters.
Tare Weight: 1.1 pounds or .0498951607 kilograms.
Volume: 23.7 Liters or 6.260877641 American Gallons or 5.213271185 British Gallons.

…And, yes, I did indeed use my Texas Instruments TI-36 X Pro to carry out the conversion of these measuring units!…

…Furthermore, that said calculator does indeed have a place in this backpack!…

So, yes I do enjoy this backpack probably more than the others I have owned. I just hope this one will actually last me for at least a few years. I said that already but it definitely bears repeating.

I will probably continue to purchase SwissGear products to meet my carrying and travels needs as long as they are available.

I cannot think of a better travel gear company for the money.

Therefore I give this backpack a rating of five out of five stars!

And this concludes my review of the SwissGear 3906 Backpack.

I hope you, the reader, have been informed and maybe even entertained.

May God richly bless you!

Back to “Product Reviews”

A Review of the NiteCore i4000R Tactical Flashlight

Just so you, the reader, know, I do not own the featured image on this page. Rather it is the property of NiteCore, a Chinese manufacturer of tactical grade flashlights.

I have stated it several times before and I will gladly state it again:

Flashlights made by NiteCore are the best flashlights to come out of Mainland China and quite possibly, the best products to come out of Mainland China period.

I have been a fan of NiteCore flashlights since mid-2017 when I purchased the MT06 tactical penlight.

In January of 2018, I subsequently purchased a NiteCore MT20A and in the latter parts of that year, wrote a review of it.

Then in April of 2020, I purchased a NiteCore i4000R from the Special Administrative Region of Hong Kong on eBay and it took over a month to arrive in my mailbox. That said tactical flashlight is what this piece will be a review thereof.

In the time it took for this flashlight to traverse its warehouse in Hong Kong to my mailbox on the outskirts of Houma, Louisiana, I was getting quite annoyed and anxious. I was also paranoid about it being contaminated with the Novel 2019 SARS Coronavirus. Still, I was quite excited when it finally arrived. Immediately, I charged up the battery and when it was full, I began carrying it in my backpack.

The NiteCore i4000R boasts a maximum light output of 4,400 Lumens-that is over four times brighter than a standard household 60 Watt bulb!

It is top-heavy and also features a crenelated strike bezel, which can be deployed in defending oneself.

If that weren’t enough, the tactical strobe feature has a constantly changing strobe pattern, making it even more effective as a self-defense weapon.

This flashlight is primarily marketed to law enforcement, but can also give peace of mind to any civilian who knows how to use a flashlight for self-defense. Furthermore, it can be carried in places where “true” weapons (such as guns and knives) are downright forbidden because legally it is not a weapon!

On an ordinary day, I will usually carry my Streamlight Junior LED flashlight.

However, if I expect any sort of trouble, I will carry my NiteCore i4000R.

I have never had to use it as a weapon, but I know it will give me at least some degree of peace.

I have used my Streamlight Junior halfway as a weapon, when confronting someone knocking on my door or my neighbor’s door at a strange hour. I must admit that both times, the person knocking was harmless and someone we knew, but they were disoriented and stepped back at least a few feet. My Paw Paw, God rest his soul, taught me the tactic of shining a bright flashlight into the eyes of someone at the door, to disorient him or her. Of course, his flashlights of choice were those budget friendly 6 Volt lanterns and, if you, the reader, haven’t figured it out by now, my flashlights of choice are lightweight, compact tactical models. His flashlights put out 60-75 Lumens but in their defense, they had the Candlepower to back those Lumens up. My flashlights, on the other hand, put out hundreds and, in this case, a few thousand Lumens, but overall, don’t have the Candlepower to back those Lumens up. However, his flashlights likely would fail in a truly tactical situation, whereas mine would still be going strong.

Except for self-defense applications, this flashlight would likely be overkill for most civilians. However, to a flashaholic such as myself, this is one of the best flashlights I own. It was even used by me as a self-defense instrument in a dream I recently had.

By the way, this is on par with the best flashlights made here in The States and even those made in Germany!

I will go over some of the features and specifications, as listed by the company website:

As I stated before, the maximum output is 4,400 Lumens, provided by four independently controlled Cree XP-L2 V6 LED circuits.

…Bare with me, my back is starting to hurt tremendously. I’m about to take a Baclofen and chase it with some orange juice. Be right back…

…All right, I am back. It’s my ex-wife’s fault that I have this back injury because she insisted we make groceries on a rainy day, and of course, trying to be a good husband, I gave in to her request, but then I slipped and fell down some wet stairs and though I didn’t know it at the time, I ruined my lower back muscles from the impact of the fall. Now I cannot even write at length, much less almost any other form of work that which I was qualified to do, because of this injury. Of course, she likely feels no guilt about this because she hated the overwhelming majority of my written content…

So with that 4,400 Lumens is a throw of 230 Meters or ~755 Feet and beam intensity of 13,300 Candlepower. According to the company website, this amount of light given off by this illumination instrument is “ideal for law enforcement, assault operations, self defense, search and patrols.”

Also, according to the company website, further elaborating on the four independently controlled LED circuits, which are, “Powered by a constant current circuit to provide durable usage with guaranteed safety.”

The featured rechargeable battery is a NiteCore patented 21700i Lithium-Ion battery.

The strobe featured can be instantly accessed by a dedicated button, even while the flashlight is off! I think this, aside from the tremendous amount of brightness if the best selling point of this flashlight.

And of course, there is the Advanced, Randomly Changing Strobe, which I think is the second best selling point! Human eyes are unable to adapt to the strobe.

There is an anti-impact reverse polarity protection system, which makes this ideal to be used mounted on a firearm!

The flashlight has a built-in charging port that uses a standard USB-C connection and is covered by a metal ring.

Also featured is an advanced temperature regulation system that adapts to the ambient temperature.

Furthermore, there is a last used mode memory, power indicator light which is accurate down to one-tenth of a volt IP-68 water resistance and a 1-meter drop impact resistance.

Finally, the lens is crystal-coated and scratch resistant and the Aerospace Aluminum body is has a military-grade HA-III hard-anodized finish!

The physical specifications are:
Tube Diameter: 25.4 millimeters or 1 inch.
Head Diameter: 32.6 millimeters or 1.28 inches-this makes the flashlight top-heavy and therefore excellent for striking in self-defense tactics.
Tail Diameter: 28 millimeters or 1.1 inches.
Overall Length: 159 millimeters or 6.26 inches-short enough to carry concealed in most hip pockets.
Total Weight: 135 grams or 4.76 ounces or just over a quarter of a pound-will not weigh the end-user down, even for a long period on foot.

The brightness levels are as follows:
Turbo Mode: 4,400 Lumens, 13,300 Candlepower, 230 Meters or ~755 Feet Beam Distance and 30 Minute Runtime.
High Mode: 1,100 Lumens, 3,300 Candlepower, 115 Meters or ~377.3 Feet Beam Distance and 2 Hour, Fifteen Minute Runtime.
…My back is starting to hurt again, but if I take another Baclofen it will be the third one in a twenty-four-hour period…
…I will try and press on but I am in a great deal of pain!…
Mid Mode: 330 Lumens, 930 Candlepower, 61 Meters or ~200.13 Feet Beam Distance and 7 Hour, 45 Minute Runtime.
Low Mode: 50 Lumens, 160 Candlepower, 25 Meters or ~82 Feet Beam Distance and 40 Hour Runtime.
Ultra-Low Mode: 2 Lumens, 4 Candlepower, 4 Meters or~13.12 Feet Beam Distance and 380 Hour Runtime.

By the way, I used the previously reviewed Texas Instruments TI-36 X Pro to convert some of these Metric Units into English Units!

I typically use it whenever I need to express any such measurement in both English and Metric units for my product reviews!

Included Accessories:
NTH20 Tactical Holster-designed specifically for law enforcement and also compatible with MOLLE systems.
CR123 Battery Magazine-in case the rechargeable battery is depleted and there is no charging source nearby.

While I do carry this flashlight in my EDC backpack, I have only carried it on my person for any given amount of time quite sparingly. The last time I carried it was because I had spotted a shady young man walking around my church at night. We were finishing up our evening Bible Study and Prayer Meeting and it does get dark this time of year, but I was escorting two ladies (a mother and daughter) home on foot and did not trust this fellow as far as I could throw him. Thank God, while I was holding the flashlight and ready to deploy it as a defensive weapon, I did not have to. My God is more effective than any weapon ever created! I could think of a handful of other times I was ready to deploy this flashlight but didn’t have to.

All in all, I definitely like this flashlight and I wish American companies could make something of this caliber but at an affordable price.

I give this product a 4.95 out of 5 stars only because I wish the tactical tail switch was better recessed to prevent accidental activation.

Other than that keep up the good work, NiteCore! As much as I hate to admit it, your company is beginning to put American and even German-made flashlights to shame!

I guess this, therefore, concludes my review of the NiteCore i4000R Tactical Flashlight. I hope you, the reader, have been informed, illuminated and maybe even entertained. May God richly bless you!

Back to “Product Reviews”

Thoughts and Humor on Communism and Government Subsidized Housing

So, since the Spring of 2020, I had begun to liken the apartment complex in which I currently reside as I am writing this piece to a Communist or Soviet State. I have also begun to create jokes about the complex I formerly resided in with my then, now ex-wife. I do this only in jest and mean no harm or malice of it, whatsoever. Those of you who know me in person, know very well that I am immensely grateful that I have a safe and affordable place of my own. They also know that I feel a strong sense of community with my complex and my fellow tenants. They have become closer than my biological family, literally! Many of them are also part of my Blood Washed Heavenly Family, praise God! If I ever move out and purchase a home of my own, I want it to be near this complex so I can still visit everybody daily!

I don’t go public with my political humor too much, but I think one will appreciate the complexity that it took for me to come up with these jokes and how I was inspired to create them.

I have so far lived in two subsidized apartment complexes because as of now, the amount I get from my disability pension cannot cover most market-rate rent prices in addition to my other necessary living expenses. I truly believe that it is personal greed that is driving up the cost of housing and it is also what makes Communism or Socialism appear so attractive to many people within my age group. Some folks my age have to work two and three jobs just to make rent. Anyone that can think should be able to see why so many young people are angry about this. I mean, so many people are working their best years away at jobs for which they are overqualified and underpaid and therefore have little to nothing to show for it. They also have little time to no time to do what they enjoy. Such an existence is unbearably miserable. Such an existence turns citizens into serfs and even borderline slaves. Such an existence makes Communism and/or Socialism look relieving, refreshing, and even prosperous!

Now, for every record, I am certainly not advocating Communism or Socialism, but I do believe there should be access to affordable housing for everyone. Home ownership for all or at least much more than currently would be nice as well. Unfettered Capitalism does stand in the way of these desires tremendously. That is a fact! Unfettered Capitalism can and will eventually bring back the feudal system. People in my age group are afraid of this because they will lose even more.

Still, I don’t think that the have-nots ought to use lethal or even brutal force to take what they want or even need away from the haves, which in essence is Communism and also some strains of Socialism. I am neither condoning nor endorsing anyone who suggests taking what is not rightfully theirs, whether in reality or just morally, by force. There are more peaceful and, yes, even godly alternatives. We need cooperation and compromise from both sides. We most of all need both sides to help each other and to understand each other. Wicked people in high places want the exact opposite though. These wicked people want to incite a class war and race war and war, in general, to overthrow what is currently in place and establish the most oppressive government ever. It will be even worse than the darkest, bleakest dystopian novel ever written.

My biggest complaint about Communism and Socialism is that in many aspects and executions of the two, they are in direct conflict with my Christian Faith! My next biggest complaint about Communism and Socialism is that they have failed almost every time they were implemented and in places where they still succeed is only due to outside Capitalist influence and support. I believe with all my heart that my biggest complaint about these nefarious economic policies is the cause of my second biggest complaint about them.

And government-subsidized housing is indeed a Socialist policy/practice, but it helps millions of people tremendously, myself included.

Still, there are certain aspects of government-subsidized housing, that make it only attractive to those who have no other choices.

So I began to make jokes about how the apartment complexes in which I resided were like miniature Communist countries.

Let me back up to July of 2017. As some of you who have followed me on social media for a lengthy amount of time, you will know that I frequently poke fun at the Dollar General chain of retailers by referring to it as “The Ruble General.” I came up with this joke while wanting to make some groceries for my dinner. I specifically wanted some pickled beets to have as a side dish. So I drove to the local Dollar General hoping to find a can or jar of pickled beets. There were none. Not only that, the said store was out of several other grocery items of which I had intended to purchase. Then there were long lines and cluttered aisles. So I got back to my then friend’s house and posted to Facebook how I thought the Dollar General should be called The Ruble General because shopping there is very similar to shopping in the Former Soviet Union and/or all of the Sattelite States. I had been listening to NPR all afternoon, that day and there’s something about NPR that fuels my creativity. For those of you who didn’t know, the Ruble was the official unit of currency for The Soviet Union. The Ruble was to the USSR what the Dollar is to The USA and various other sovereign states. So, it has become one of my trademark jokes to refer to The Dollar General as The Ruble General.

Well, my back is starting to hurt, so I just took a muscle relaxer and chased it with some ginger ale. In the recent weeks and months, my lower back pain has been getting worse, so I sought medical attention for it, after being in tremendous pain while doing a task as simple as reformatting my neighbor’s laptop. Therefore, my physician prescribed me a muscle relaxer known as Baclofen. I’m too afraid to take anything stronger, or something with narcotic properties nor do I think I need such a pill, to begin with. I’ve seen how pain pills ruin lives and cause more problems than they solve. Therefore, I shall avoid them for as long as I can. My two favorite activities are going to church and writing. And sadly it is during those two activities that my back pain acts up the worst.

So, moving on, I will also admit that I have a fascination with and even an admiration for the Polish electrician turned politician, ultimately the first president of Post-communist Poland, namely, Lech Walesa. I truly believe he is an honest man, a family man, and an ethical man. I had first learned about him during my Sophomore year of high school while reading ahead in my World Geography book. I read about how his Solidarity campaign brought down Communism in Poland and eventually contributed to the entire collapse of the USSR! Like any good man, there will be those opposed to him and try to ruin his name, but I don’t believe the lies said about him. What is amazing is that his motives behind starting Solidarity were to be able to feed his family. He was a hardworking marine electrician who loved his wife and children and likely did his best to provide for them. Therefore, he was infuriated by the rising food prices in Poland that a worker’s wages did not keep up with. See, Communism did not and does not solve this inflation problem! Likely, inflation is inherent to all economic systems. So, he positively channeled his fury and frustrations and started what would become Solidarity on the grounds of the shipyard at which he was employed. All in all, I had partially forgotten about him after I completed World Geography and turned in my textbook. But then in my very early thirties, I began to read more extensively about him, through online sources. There were pictures of the insides of the apartments in which he resided. I was quite amused when I observed how the living room of one of his residences was strikingly similar to the living room of the apartment that I shared with my then-wife, now ex-wife. By the way, Lech Walesa is still happily married and his strong marriage puts my faulty former marriage to shame by a factor of about (6^6)! Just so you know I chose the number 6 because he is about 6 years older than his wife and I am the same age as my now ex-wife. One thing I have since learned about relationships is that couples with an age difference get along much better than couples who are very close in age. Case in point, Donald Trump is about twenty-four years older than his current wife and say what you want about him, but they appear to have a very solid marriage and they are raising a brilliant son! I could go on about this, but there are more important matters to cover in this piece. I may, someday, write more extensively about how couples with an age difference get along better than couples without an age difference. By the way, it doesn’t matter if the man or woman is older, I’ve observed happy and solid relationships in both scenarios.

And look at that, I’m just realizing my back has stopped hurting! This Baclofen treatment does indeed work, God be praised!

It was late one evening in the Spring of 2020, that inspirations for my jokes of referring to my apartment complex as a miniature Communist country started to develop. I was doing laundry in the laundromat and was also listening to a new portable scanner, which I had recently purchased. It is the entry-level Whistler handheld model, the WS1010. It is a far descendant of the Radio Shack Pro-32. I had also installed a high performance, multi-band antenna on it, in hopes to pull in signals better than the pathetic stock antenna. On that evening, I was particularly interested in trying to see if there was any traffic on a certain VHF Low Band frequency that was licensed to the Waterford 3 Nuclear Power Plant. Granted, it is located about fifty miles from where I was, but I am very much aware of how VHF Low Band Signals travel quite farther than their higher frequency counterparts. The frequency I had in my scanner, by the way, was 37.46 MHz. It was assigned to Entergy for use at the aforementioned power plant, but I just checked the FCC records a few minutes ago and couldn’t find it. And I ashamedly admit that I failed to maintain a Christian vocabulary when I couldn’t find it. All in all, I was trying to see if I could hear any traffic on that frequency during that Spring evening. There was none. However, my mind wanders at times and when it does, it sometimes brings forth creativity. The such happened on that evening. I began thinking of the fact that I was trying to listen in on the operations of a nuclear power plant. A younger me would have associated this with The Simpsons, but my current (age 28 to present) self began to think about Chernobyl instead. I pondered extensively about it. Then I began to realize how this apartment complex in which I reside does indeed have some very Soviet qualities. At some point, I had decided to scan other channels in that scanner and picked up a signal from The Feds, but it was sadly encrypted, or at the very least encoded, and the scanner I was using is an analog-only model. But the thoughts of how I feel like I am living in a Communist country, albeit a very benevolent one, while I am in this complex began to multiply. They brewed for a few months. At some point in very late August or early September, I began to refer to my apartment complex as: “The People’s Republic of [insert complex name here.]” I won’t say the name of my complex on this blog, because of my safety. And also for the safety of my neighbors.

I was driving a friend around and had to stop by my apartment to pick up something and he commented on how the buildings in the complex do appear very Soviet. I don’t see how, but to a degree, I trust his judgment. Although, I think he may be confusing Soviet architecture with 1980s architecture in general. Of course, there were numerous housing projects constructed in the Soviet Union during the early 1980s. All in all, I ask my Christian friends to pray fervently for his salvation. He is highly intelligent on diverse subjects and equally skilled in many things that which I value. In fact, he too, for most of his working life was a marine electrician just like Lech Walesa, but also was employed in road construction, as a freight train conductor and most recently, a corporate chauffeur. He holds the highest amateur radio license there is, can build complicated antenna systems and is an avid model railroader. He is one of my biggest supporters as far as my creativity goes, he laughs at my jokes more than anyone else and also more than anyone else, aside from The Lord Himself, has helped me tremendously whilst I was going through a divorce. However, he lacks what is most important of all, namely: Jesus Christ. His lack of Christ and flat-out refusal to come to Him is starting to cause issues in my spiritual life. If that weren’t bad enough, he either shuts down and lately has become hostile when I talk about my faith. If it gets any worse, I am going to have to make a choice between him and Christ, and I know I must needs choose Christ.

Because of the highly unreliable nature of our complex’s laundry equipment, these machines frequently eat our money. This is overwhelmingly frustrating, especially since the majority of us living here are indeed on government pensions and therefore our incomes are limited. I made a joke out of it by saying, “Oh well, the laundry machines are eating our money again, I must inform the Politburo at once!” From those of whom I was brave enough to tell that joke, I received plenty of laughs. Politburo is an Anglicized spelling of a Slavic portmanteau of the words, Political Bureau. Certain Slavic words are amazingly similar to English words and my theory behind that is much of modern English has words that are derived from Greek and Latin, as do Slavic languages. So, every Communist state has a Politburo. Actually, the phrase of “…must inform the Politburo…” is from Goldeneye when MI6 agent James Bond meets with Soviet Defence Minister Dimitri Minshkin in the Saint Petersburg National Archives about General Arkady Orumov indeed being a traitor to the USSR, and which Minshkin tells Bond of how he “must inform the Politburo.” Well, Goldeneye is one of my favorite movies, and the video game, namely for the Nintendo 64 console is my all time favorite video game. By the way, I’m highly amused on how my Ruger LCP II appears quite similar in appearance to James Bond’s PP7 or Walther PPK, depending on the movie or video game, and has the same ammunition capacity, assuming one is using a standard magazine clip. My next gun will hopefully be a Ruger LCR in .38 Special! By the way, speaking of firearms, the overwhelming majority of Communist countries and also countries with significant Socialist tendencies are notorious for flat out banning the civilian ownership of firearms. There are wicked people here in The States that have this nefarious practice in their agenda, too, I won’t lie.

My back pain is slightly coming back. If it gets worse, I will take another Baclofen and likely once again, chase it with some ginger ale. It may not seem like I have written much in this piece and, it’s true, I haven’t, but it is taking me the course of several hours to get this piece done. It was actually in the neighborhood of about two hours ago that I took my last Balclofen and it was over twenty-four hours previous to that when I took the one prior. I’m allowed to take three pills in a twenty-four-hour period and as of now, that is more than enough.

So I ended up taking another Baclofen because the back pain was getting slightly more than I could bear and I do want to get this piece finished. And, yes I chased it with some ginger ale. I like both Schweppes and Canada Dry, by the way. I will admit that I was afflicted with a mild case of Covid in late July and early August of 2020. But because of prayers most of all and but also highly aggressive treatment, I survived and am back to normal save coughing a little more than I used to do! Yes, God be praised, indeed! Before this bout with Covid, I drank Wild Cherry Pepsi, those of you who have been reading this blog since the earlier days and those of you who follow me on social media are very well aware of this. However, during my quarantine, a family member delivered me some groceries, one of them was a case or two of ginger ale and I have since been hooked on it. Ginger ale is indeed an acquired taste, but once acquired it is a very refreshing soft drink! I suppose I could write more about my experiences with Covid, but if I do, that piece will trump this piece in terms of controversy and I don’t think the world is ready for it! Anyway, I’m just waiting for this Baclofen to kick in and do its wonders so I can focus on concluding this piece.

Durnit, my back is still very tight at the moment, but I am going to try and press on.

So our complex has its own sewerage treatment plant. Those who live in closer proximity to it, are subjected to the highly offensive odor of Hydrogen Sulfide. I’m not sure as to why but as of lately that smell has been very present in the complex. If that weren’t enough, a day or two ago, an alarm was incessantly blaring at the sewerage treatment plant. I won’t pretend to know why our sewerage plant has an alarm. I know little to nothing about it, actually. A younger me would be fascinated by it and would naturally want to check it out, but my current self doesn’t want to be accused of tampering with it and risking eviction. All in all, I decided to make a joke, which went along the lines of, “Oh no, our sewer plant has been infiltrated, I need to contact the Politburo about this at once!” Those whom I told this joke to in person were in hysterics. I could have elaborated more on that by claiming that the sewerage treatment plant was infiltrated by either a spy, the special forces unit of an opposing state, or insurgents and if the alarm goes off again, I just might elaborate more!

The only hint I will give about my complex is that a Dollar General is situated right next to it. Dollar General is known for setting up its stores in low-income areas. I could write some jokes just about that, but, when one gets to thinking about it, they’re not funny. They would, in essence, be making light of the fact that a greedy corporate giant taking advantage of the vulnerable and impoverished, all to turn a greater profit. In reality, I don’t have any complaints about this particular Dollar General and I shop there almost every day. I’m sure all of the workers know me and I would hope they would find me to be a friendly and respectful customer. Well, around the same time, the alarm for the sewer was going off, the transformer that is dedicated to electrical service for the Dollar General next door had malfunctioned and the store was without power for about a day. Of course, this was gold material for my type of humor and I started cracking jokes along these lines, “Well, The Ruble General that serves The People’s Republic of [insert complex name here] has experienced a power cut and now we the people cannot buy groceries or supplies. Can the Politburo do anything about this?” As part of CYB purposes, the management at this Dollar General disposed of all frozen and/or perishable foods that could have spoiled due to a lack of adequate refrigeration. I personally know of people who took those foods from the trash bin and I praise God that they were able to get some food for free and that it didn’t go to waste. This sadly happens a lot more in a truly Communist country such as Venezuela and I won’t make light of it, because it’s not funny. Guess what, though: Communism does not solve the ills of humanity! Many times, it only exacerbates them, and I believe this is so because it attempts to remove God from anything and everything. The Bible says, though, “God is not mocked.” By the way for those of you who are curious, that statement is made in Galatians 6:7, and yes I am taking it out of context, but the statement is still very true, regardless. And, yes, I spent a good deal of this piece mocking Communism but in the earlier parts, I pointed out why it is becoming popular again. I’d like to think though, that I also pointed you, the reader, towards God, through Christ.

We are more divided than ever and instead of cooperating and compromising, we want to kill or at least maim each and all those who are diverse from ourselves. Who can solve this mess we’re in? Only one, of course: Jesus Christ! Whether you like it or not! But, consider following Him and if you do, you shall not be disappointed!

Yes, I know this piece is more controversial than what you, the reader, are used to when you read my blog and I apologize if you have been offended. If you were indeed offended, at least I made you think, right? Maybe even provoked the types of thought that bring forth growth? However, if you, got any laughs at all from this piece, then kudos to you, and thank you. Most of those with whom I shared these jokes in real life were laughing quite a bit.

I hope to continue posting material for my blog, and I know I haven’t been posting as frequently as I ought to, but I’ve just been busy forming communal bonds with people in real life. But I do appreciate each one of you that reads my work!

My Baclofen hasn’t kicked in yet and I realize it is getting near 3:00 AM in my part of the world as I write this, so I need to take other medications as well. Actually, it is now closer to 4:00 AM after editing and fine-tuning my grammar. Likely it will be near 5:00 AM by the time I post this piece!

I think, though, I have gotten my point across nicely and I sincerely hope that you, the reader, have been informed as well as entertained.

May God richly bless you!

Back to “Personal Reflections”

Laundry Day-An Online Romance

Ezra woke up in the very late morning.

After lying for several minutes on his couch, thinking about Sadie, he prepared his breakfast of two fried eggs sunny side up, a slice of toast with sugar-free raspberry jam, and a drink of coffee, chicory, and hot milk.

After breakfast was ready, he sat in his kitchen eating and drinking while listening to his countertop scanner.

Two boat captains were coordinating their movements on the Intracoastal Waterway, one was of a towboat with six loaded barges in tow and the other was a tugboat by itself. They were also communicating with other vessels in the area.

Ezra had now finished breakfast and placed his dishes in the sink, but wanted to continue listening in. However, knew he had to do his laundry for the week.

So, he reached into his EDC backpack and pulled out his portable scanner, then set it to monitor the VHF Marine Band. he placed it in his right front pocket

He then took $3.25 worth of quarter-dollar coins from his safe and placed them in his back pocket.

Afterward, Ezra retrieved his laundry basket and bottle of detergent along with his smartphone and everything else, then walked down to the laundromat.

He unlocked the door, then found a washing machine that wasn’t in use, so he loaded it with his clothing and detergent, then placed the $1.75 worth of quarters in and started it.

While his load of clothes was washing, Ezra sat on a bench and listened to marine traffic on his portable scanner.

He heard a bridge tender notifying all mariners of the lunch rush hour curfew in effect.

Ezra listened to other marine channels where he heard some fishing boat captains speaking in Vietnamese.

He also heard dockyard mechanics coordinating with the servicing of boat engines.

Finally, his clothes were washed, so he switched them to a dryer that wasn’t in use and put the remaining $1.50 worth of quarters into the coin slot, and started it.

He continued listening to his scanner when Sadie called.

“Hey baby,” He answered.

“Hey you,” She replied.

“What’s going on?”

“My cousin and her boyfriend are here and I have you on speakerphone.”

“Well, hi everyone!” Ezra said.

“Hi,” Alyssa said.

“What up?” Nicky Joe added in.

“Oh, I’m down in the laundromat watching my clothes dry.”

“What are your intentions with my cousin?” Alyssa asked.

“Well, let me first say that I think she is the most beautiful young lady, I have ever seen and that I have a tremendous amount of reverence for her. I will also admit that I am indeed falling for her, but my intentions are to treat her like a queen, to shower her with affection, to be there for her in any way I can, and hopefully one day to marry her!”

“I see. You know she weighs over four hundred pounds, right?”

“Yes. I know. And I adore every pound curve and inch of her! You see, the thing is I like super-sized ladies. A skinny female would not make me happy, but someone Sadie’s size would make me happier than ever.”

“You’re sick!” Alyssa interjected.

“Don’t listen to her, Ezra, you’re very sweet! She’s just jealous,” Sadie added in.

“Thank you, baby!” Ezra answered.

“Oh, yeah, like I am jealous. Dream on!” Alyssa said.

There was an awkward silence, then Ezra’s scanner began picking up two fishing boats communicating.

“Who’s that in the background?” Alyssa asked.

“I’m listening to boat traffic on my scanner.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Alyssa asked.

“Because he likes boats. He takes some cool pictures of them too!” Sadie said.

“Yes. And it keeps me out of trouble.”

“Can you hear the cops on that scanner?” Nicky Joe asked.

“No, I can’t. It’s an older model and I don’t listen to the cops anyway.”

“Mine can hear the cops but I got to keep it on the DL.” Nicky Joe added in.

“Listening to the cops is depressing to me because it’s always hearing about all the bad stuff going on. I’d much rather listen to boat traffic, nothing wrong with that,” Ezra said.

“Hey, dawg, whatever, to each his own,” Nicky Joe replied, then asked, “What kind of ride you got?”

“A 1985 Jeep Comanche which I am very proud of! I restored it myself.” Ezra answered.

“I customized my ride, I have a 1999 GMC Yukon with twenty-six-inch rims and a dope sound system!” Nicky Joe said.

“Mine is all pretty standard, but it’s still fun to drive,” Ezra humbly stated.

“You pack any heat?” Nicky Joe asked.

“No, my psychiatrist won’t clear me for a concealed carry permit,” Ezra answered sheepishly.

“I gotcha. I can’t get a concealed carry permit either, because of my record, but I still pack heat. Ain’t nobody gonna tell me what I can or can’t carry.” Nicky Joe brazenly said.

“I have found other legal ways to defend myself though,” Ezra answered.

“Like what, dawg?” Nicky Joe asked with curiosity.

“Oh that’s top-secret,” Ezra answered with confidence.

“He sounds dangerous,” Alyssa added in.

“He’s not. He’s really sweet and in a lot of ways reminds me of my Daddy,” Sadie added in.

“I think he’s a loser, what do you think, bae?” Alyssa said.

“He seems lame, but maybe he’s good for Sadie, there’s someone for everyone,” Nicky Joe added in.

“We don’t have to take this, I’m going to my room, both of you can leave now,” Sadie said with anger and frustration.

Sadie left the living room then slammed her bedroom door and locked it.

“Ezra, I’m sorry they said those things about you and I hope you still want me,” Sadie told him.

“Of course I still want you. I just hope the rest of your family is more accepting,”

“They will be, I’m almost sure of it, especially once they see how sweet you are and how you make me happy.”

“Do I make you happy though?”

“Oh, yes. Like more than ever!”

“Could it be, then, that they are jealous of us? I mean you said how Alyssa was always in competition with you and maybe she sees that I make you happy, so maybe she wants to sabotage our relationship.”

“I think you’re right, baby.”

“And Nicky Joe and I don’t have anything in common, but I wouldn’t call him lame as he did to me.”

“I know. I’m sorry he said that. I think you’re wonderful, though, so forget him.”

“His opinion of me doesn’t carry any weight as far as I’m concerned, but your opinion of me carries the weight of the universe.”

“Well, then the whole universe is in your favor because I couldn’t ask for a better man than you!”

“I’m falling even more for you, Sadie Claire Macbride!”

“And I am falling just as much for you, Ezra Lee Toussaint!”

“Don’t ever worry about Alyssa or Nicky Joe again, because it’s like you pointed out, they are jealous and they want to sabotage our relationship. Deep down Alyssa thinks that because I’m so fat, I don’t deserve happiness and she sees that I am happier than her, despite most men choosing her body over mine and it fills her with envy.”

“Well, I want you by my side forever!”

“And I will be!” Sadie paused, then continued, “Hey, would you mind me reading some of the stories from the blogger that I subscribe to? His work always gave me hope that I would find someone and now I have, because of you.”

“Sure. I’ll switch my scanner off and you can entertain me while my clothes dry.”

“Awesome, these stories have really helped me.”

Alyssa began to read the stories out loud to Ezra.

He hung on to her every word, falling even more for her.

He continued listening, then finally said when she came to a stopping point, “It’s as if he knows both of us because I can relate to many of his characters.”

“So can I!” Sadie said with vindication.

“I only wish I could write like him, though.”

“It’s okay. Maybe when we have children, and they are having a tough time we can read his blog to them as well.”

“You actually see that much of a future with me?!”

“Yes, most definitely! And so much more too!” Sadie paused and, then continued, “I hope that’s okay with you.”

“It’s wonderful. I am the happiest man on the planet. Do you know why?”

“Why?”

“Well, there’s this beautiful young lady from Alabama that I am absolutely crazy about. She has long reddish blonde hair. She stands about five feet. She has a very sexy body that I want to kiss every inch of! She is so sweet too! And she is mine all mine! Who is this beautiful young lady?”

“ME!” Sadie replied with joy.

“And don’t ever forget it!”

“I won’t!”

The dryer then buzzed indicating that Ezra’s clothes were dry.

“What was that loud sound?” Sadie asked.

“The dryer telling me that my clothes are done. I need to bring them back up to my apartment, then I need to also check my blood sugar.”

“You will call me later, though, right?”

“Of course, what time would you like me to call?”

“Well call me at eight o’clock tonight and every night after that, but you can also call me in the morning, whenever you wake up if you want. I have to eat lunch anyway, because I’m really hungry.”

“Well then you, please eat! I will do everything I need to do, then I will call you at eight o’clock tonight.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“Until then, just know that I want you by my side forever!”

“And you just know that I will be!”

“Okay, bye baby.”

“Bye.”

Back to “An Online Romance”

Celebrating God’s Divine Providence

At the age of seventeen and a half, I came into a relationship with God through saving faith in Jesus Christ.

My life has been improving overall since, although there have been some ups and downs.

Even prior to my coming into this sacred relationship, I recognized where God has watched over me and provided for me every time I needed help in some way shape, or form.

He started drawing me some time at the age of fifteen going on sixteen and I fully realized everything in July of 2004 at the age of seventeen and a half. I surrendered to The Gospel and therefore put my faith in Christ at that very moment. It took a life of rebellion and defiance and finally a mental breakdown before I had accepted The Gospel.

Even after salvation, though my life is far from perfect. It will never be perfect, at least not on this side of Glory!

But, God has met every one of my earthly needs and always in His perfect timing.

He also grants the appropriate desires of my heart, especially when I delight myself in Him.

I know I could never make it without Him, in this life and especially the next!

Some years ago, I was sitting in church and the Pastor/Teacher was preaching on the even when Jesus Christ miraculously fed five thousand men and many more women and children. That particular event is recorded in every Biblical Gospel narrative.

For those who want to read them; the Scripture references of this miracle are:
Matthew Chapter 14 Verses 13 through 21.
Mark Chapter 6 Verses 31 through 44.
Luke Chapter 9 Verses 12 through 17.
John Chapter 6 Verses 1 through 14.

The Pastor/Teacher went on to say how the five loaves of bread were the size of pistolettes or maybe dinner rolls and the two small fish were likely sardines. He went on to say that likely the young boy’s mother had given them to eat while he went out and about. It was a meal that was easily transportable, even while on foot. In other words, the loaves of bread were not like the size of a loaf of sliced bread one buys at a modern grocer and the two small fish were sardines which are indeed quite small. This meal likely could not hold up a grown man, much less five thousand men and at least just as many women and children maybe more. Calorie needs in those times were likely more than they were now because life, in general, was much more physically demanding. But Jesus using Divine power was able to multiply the fish and bread to feed everyone there and their bellies were completely full. Like more full than they had ever been in their lives. And not only that there were several baskets full of leftovers. The point that made itself clear was that Divine Providence is perfect and all needs are totally met. And as the Cajun in me would say, there is even some lagniappe! God always goes above in beyond because He is all-powerful!

While going through a divorce and moving into my own place, there were quite a few trials but ultimately, God allowed all things to work together for my good and He definitely carried me through this difficult time. As my Paw Paw would have said, had he lived to see the divorce finalized, it was as if I ‘fell into a pile of dung but came out smelling like roses.’ He used a different word than dung, of course, but it’s a word I refuse to use because I’ll assume that it would offend any ladies who may be reading this piece. Furthermore, I, as a Christian, ought not to use that word he used nor should I utter any other filthy or offensive word. I slip up in my speech from time to time, but every time I do, The Holy Ghost convicts me and I subsequently ask God for forgiveness! Therefore I used the word dung instead because it is the word in the Bible that is used to describe any sort of fecal matter. By the way, it wasn’t the only time my Paw Paw used that analogy to describe a situation I was faced with, which simply means that God has been taking care of me for a long time, as in even pre-salvation!

So during the time I was going through a divorce, I could sense God’s Hand upon me. In July of 2018, I was one-day making groceries and was meditating on that aforementioned sermon I had heard some time ago. Immediately, I thought of how I should buy some sardines and pistolettes and eat them when I got home, even if just by myself as a reminder of God taking care of everything for me. I did just that.

Now I will admit that nowhere in The Bible are we as Christians commanded to eat bread and fish, to celebrate God’s providence. There is, however, a meal that we are commanded to eat of unleavened bread and wine (or grape juice) as a memorial to Jesus’ sacrificial death. Yes, I do celebrate this at my local church and every other Christian should as well. By the way drinking any un-fermented fruit juice in Biblical times could have proven fatal because of microbial pathogens and no one in that day knew about the health benefits of pasteurization (killing microbial pathogens with strong heat.) Somehow they figured out that the alcohol produced in fermentation made these fruit juices safe to drink, although if consumed in excess resulted in drunkenness. There is a book in the Catholic Bible, but not the Standard Bible, the Book of Sirach, where it does indeed teach that the inebriating effects of alcoholic beverages were meant to allow the drinker to forget his or her troubles and have a joyful time during feast and festivities. To this day, this is likely the main reason why so many people drink alcohol. This could also be one of the reasons why Catholics have a more lax attitude towards drinking than Protestants do. The numerous references of Scripture that warn against drunkenness are likely there because of the many sinful behaviors that drunkenness results in. These were written not to stop us from having a good time, but to protect from the consequences of the foolish things that are said and done when one is inebriated. God has our best interest at heart, remember that. His commands are guidelines which are there simply to protect us from our own sinful selves.

All in all, eating this meal of sardines and dinner rolls or pistolettes (whichever is available in the bakery section of my grocer) is something I thought of on my own, but while I am enjoying this meal, I eat with a prayerful and grateful attitude, thank my God for taking care of me and providing everything I need and even for the appropriate things that I want. I am not sure if anyone prior to myself thought of this meal, quite possibly several others thought of this, I doubt that I am the only one. However, I eat this meal because it tastes good, it is very filling and it reminds me of how much I depend on God. Our relationship with God is the only relationship where our clinginess will never be annoying because He loves us that much. In fact, He deeply desires for us to cling to Him! He will also fervently chase us down when we stray from Him. He does this not in an abusive way but out of His loving concern for us! Those who think otherwise don’t know Him therefore cannot trust Him. But I sure trust Him! And I’m learning to trust Him even more.

If you, the reader, feel God moving on you to also partake in this meal, then do it reverently, prayerfully, and gratefully. Acknowledge all that God has done for you! Praise Him and give Him the honor and glory He deserves! Then enjoy your meal.

By the way, we should say grace every time we eat, sometimes I forget to do so, to which I get immediately convicted by The Holy Ghost and I ask for forgiveness then say grace.

I’m not trying to start a new practice or anything, I am simply doing that which makes me realize all that God has provided for me.

I’ll admit that I do enjoy this food combination and I will equally admit that not everyone else does. I’ll also admit that not everyone can eat this because of either dietary restrictions or allergies.

In that case, do what works for you, but make sure it lines up with God’s Word and honors Him above all!

I hope you, the reader, have been informed, enlightened, encouraged, and maybe even inspired!

May God richly bless you!

Back to “Personal Reflections”

Contact Me

Christmas Day Part Two-Second Chances

My girlfriend and I leave the house all bundled up. Hand in hand we walk around the neighborhood.

There are many houses with more cars than usual parked against the curb.

Many families must be visiting here.

We continue walking in silence but it is a comfortable silence.

Suddenly, we hear the whistle of a train.

My girlfriend asks me, “Didn’t you say you liked trains?”

“Yes,” I reply.

“Then, do you want to watch it pass?”

“Is it in a safe area? I mean I revere you tremendously and would never want to bring you to a shady place.”

“Yes. It’s safe and well-traveled. There is an overpass right over the main highway a few feet from here.”

“Okay, we can go watch it then.”

“Awesome, I figured you would like that.”

We walk to the overpass and see the locomotive slowly transitioning across. The engineer sounds the bell and horn several more times and I watch the ditch lights flash.

We then see all the cars in the consist.

I watch it with great pleasure.

My girlfriend steals a kiss from me then says, “You look so cute the way you are watching that train.”

I blush then I hug and kiss her in return.

The snow is starting to fall again so we hug even tighter.

She buries her face into my chest as I kiss the top of her head and lovingly rub her love handles.

Several motorists blow their horns at us. They must be somehow offended by our public displays of affection.

The train is now gone and we continue walking.

She continues to show me around the city, as I tell her, “I’ve always dreamed about living here because it inspires my writing so much.”

“Do you think you could read some of your work for me?”

“I would be honored to,” I pause then continue, “And just so you know, you are inspiring me to write some new material right now!”

She grabs me and steals another kiss.

I hold her close to me and kiss her in return.

We then come upon a boundary between our neighborhood and the less fortunate part of the city. In the distance, we hear gunshots and sirens.

“I think we should turn around,” I tell her.

“Yes. My roommates warned me about this area.”

So, with that, we turn around and make a beeline back to our neighborhood.

Briskly we walk until we are far enough from the boundary.

My girlfriend is getting tired and out of breath as we come upon a convenience store.

I ask her, “Would you like something to eat or drink to give you more strength?”

She simply nods.

I kiss her and then say, “Say no more.”

We walk into the convenience store and head to the deli section, then look at all the good food under the glass.

“What would you like?” I ask her.

“If you can afford it, a fried chicken meal.”

“What do you want as your sides then?”

“Some fried pickles and some macaroni and cheese.”

“Okay, I’ll get that for you.”

“You’re so sweet. What are you going to eat, though?”

“A hot sausage pattie on toast.”

“Cool!”

“And what do you want to drink?” I ask her.

“Some Pepsi from the fountain.”

“I think I’ll get that too.”

“Then only order one cup because we have free refills with that meal. Plus I always wanted someone to share a drink with, as corny as it seems.”

“Consider it done,” I tell her with a sweet kiss.

She blushes.

I then place my order and pay with my debit card, then we sit at a table.

While we wait to be served, I check my banking app on my phone and see that I now only have a few cents left in my account, but it was worth it.

In time our meal is served, then we say grace and eat.

Not only do we share our drink but we give pieces of our meals to each other.

After we are finished, we use the restrooms then leave on foot.

“Could you show me your new house?” She asks me.

“I sure could and I am honored that you are my first guest!”

“Then lead the way.”

Hand in hand we walk to my house.

Upon arrival, I unlock the hurricane fence, then we cut across my front yard then walk up the steps and onto the front porch.

My neighbor is giving both of us an angry pair of eyes so we nervously and quickly go inside.

I show her around as I say, “Here it is. Not much, but at least it’s mine.”

“Your house is cute, like its owner,” She says, kissing me.

She sees my computer, and asks, “Do you think you could read to me right now?”

“Of course,” I say, then I get an extra chair and sit her in the swivel chair.

I then log into my computer then pull up the folder of text files and read to her.

She smiles at me from ear to ear as I read to her.

I do so for a few hours.

We come to a stopping point and she tells me, “Your stories are really sweet and I can somehow relate to your female characters!”

“You do remind me of my female characters, I think that is one of the reasons why I am falling so hard for you!”

“And I am falling just as hard for you!” She says as she leans in to kiss me.

We both stand up and look into each other’s eyes with passion.

She then passionately grabs me and kisses me all over my face.

I hold her close to me and gently play with her love handles.

We then begin to rub each others’ buttocks.

She then bumps me with her sexy hips, causing me to fall onto my sofa. She giggles uncontrollably as I position myself face up.

Afterward, she lays on top of me and kisses me with exceeding passions.

Our hormones begin to overpower us as she pulls down the upper parts of her dress and reveals her breasts to me, to which I say, “Good Lord, they are beautiful!”

She then rubs them in my face.

I kiss them and sweetly fondle them.

She then sits on my legs and lifts her dress to teasingly reveal her panties to me, giggling even more uncontrollably.

I am overcome with admiration and lust as I sit up and kiss her belly multiple times.

I then begin to kiss her pelvic regions to which she moans and coos.

I hug her by her waist then rest my face between her belly and pelvis as I say, “I’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as you.”

She begins to pull down her panties and says, “If you truly feel that way, take me then!”

“Oh, baby your wish is my command!” I tell her as I too begin to undress.

We are about to become intimate when her phone rings. We also feel Divine Conviction over the sin we were about to commit and the crippling fear that we might lose each other as a result of Divine Chastisement.

The caller ID shows that it’s her roommates’ house number, so she picks up and activates the speakerphone feature.

We hear how they want her and me to come over because they have more food for us.

Realizing God gave us an escape route from sinning, we agree to go at once.

With that, we rise off the sofa, get dressed, and walk out the front door, locking it behind us.

We then head to her roommate’s house in the cold bleak weather…

Back to “Second Chances”

2020 False Charges and Trial Dream

I haven’t had a dream or vision with a Christian or Biblical theme in a considerable amount of time. It’s been over two years since the last one.

However, on the morning of September 16, 2020, I did have a Christian dream.

After meditating on it further, I have discovered more details than when I was actually dreaming it.

I have reason to believe this took place somewhere on the West Coast of the United States in the not so distant future.

The dream entails a love story between a sixteen year old girl who is a Christian convert but raised by her Atheist dad and sneaks away to church every Sunday and a twenty-two year old pastor’s assistant.

The pastor’s assistant is a gifted speaker and teacher. The girl volunteers in the nursery, but can overhear him teaching in the adjacent classroom. While watching the children, she listens to his eloquent speech and is thoroughly impressed with his vast knowledge of Scripture.

Totally unbeknownst to him, she develops a major crush on him.

She falls even more for him when he notices her ability to soothe a cross child and comments on that she would make a wonderful mother someday.

Almost two years pass, she then turns eighteen and her atheist dad subsequently finds out about her conversion to Christianity and immediately, he kicks her out of his house.

She spends the next few evenings sleeping on a couch in the church annex building.

Late one evening the pastor’s assistant is working on a research project and notices she is still at church.

She explains the situation to him.

He is filled with compassion, but knows he cannot take her into his residence because of his position in the church.

She then confesses that since she is eighteen now and admits that she has had a crush on him for the past two years.

They both pray together.

She then continues by asking if he is even spoken for or not, to which he replies how he isn’t.

She tells him how she fell even more for him when he told her a while back how she would make a wonderful mother.

He is initially shocked but realizes how she does meet his strict standards of which he holds whomever his future spouse would be to.

He also feels God moving him to accept her advances.

So, he asks her about courting her.

She wholeheartedly agrees, smiling and blushing.

He then takes her out to dinner and they are seen by many in public.

Eventually she ends up staying with one of the elderly widowed ladies of the church.

The courtship continues and they fall deeply in love.

In due time he proposes marriage, to which she joyfully accepts.

Her other family members find out about the marriage proposal and word gets back to her atheist dad who is infuriated.

They are eventually wed and now are expecting their first child.

Her dad concocts a plan to falsely accuse the pastor’s assistant of having sexual relations with his daughter before she reached the age of consent.

He is successfully able to have charges brought against the pastor’s assistant, because of a strong anti Christian sentiment in the community.

The prosecuting attorney and judge are also staunch atheists.

During the trial, the young lady is questioned as to whether she ever had sexual relations with him prior to turning eighteen.

She replies, that they had never known each other intimately until marriage which was in fact two years after her turning eighteen.

The prosecutor points out how she lied about her whereabouts for two years to her dad, so how does the court know if she is being truthful now.

She said how she took an oath on the Bible and that it is sacred to her and how he should consider reading it for once in his life.

Her husband smiles and winks at her.

The judge notices orders the bailiff to slap the pastor’s assistant.

The bailiff walks towards him but slips and falls gashing his face against the corner of the table and is now bleeding.

The bailiff is taken to a hospital for treatment of his injuries and a different bailiff continues providing security for the trial.

The defense attorney, warns the jury that the wrath of God will be much worse on them than what happened to the bailiff if they convict an innocent Christian man and how this is a plot to attack the church and the family.

Unfortunately, I woke up before I learn the fate of the young pastor’s assistant…

Back to “Dreams and Visions Involving Biblical and Christian Themes

Character Guide-An Online Romance

Ezra Lee Tousaint-Main Character aged 37.

Sadie Claire MacBride-Other Main Character redneck SSBBW aged 31.

Milo James MacBride-Sadie’s Dad deceased.

Georgia Faye Dalton MacBride-Sadie’s Mom aged 53.

Reverend Murray Paul Stevens-Sadie’s Pastor and retired firefighter aged 75.

Mrs. Linda Anne Kempf Stevens-Pastor Murray’s wife aged 71.

Dally James MacBride-Sadie’s Paternal Uncle aged 65.

Sophia Natayla “Sophie” Chernenkov MacBride-Sadie’s Paternal Aunt by Marriage aged 57.

Alyssa Jean MacBride-Sadie’s pregnant cousin and always in competition with her aged 29.

Nicky Joe Derringer-Alyssa’s Boyfriend and baby Dad constantly in trouble with the law but well connected aged 26.

James Henry MacBride-Sadie’s Paternal Grandpa aged 87.

Matilda Jane Alden MacBride-Sadie’s Paternal Grandma also was an SSBBW deceased.

Back to “An Online Romance”