If you were to die right now, where would you go?

Think, as if your life depended on it, if you were to die right now, do you know where you would go?

There is a way that you can know for certain that you will make it to Heaven when you die, but the choice is ultimately yours and I cannot make that choice for you.

Only you can make that choice.

Not everyone will make it to Heaven.

Our sins prevent us from making it to Heaven.

We as human beings are very sinful creatures and The Bible clearly states in the Book of Romans Chapter 3, Verse 23: “23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” It says ALL. That means you and me and anyone else who has ever lived.

The only alternative to Heaven is hell. It is a horrible place of eternal unceasing torment.

No matter how many good deeds we do, we cannot earn our way into Heaven and thus we all deserve to go to hell.

I know it must seem hopeless at this point, but there is Good News and Hope!

The Bible also states in the Book of Romans Chapter 6 Verse 23: “23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Going to Heaven is a FREE gift from God, purchased by the sacrificial suffering and death of His only Son, Jesus Christ. It cannot be purchased or earned any other way. Not only is going to Heaven part of this gift, but God will also meet all of you earthly needs.

So how must you receive this gift?

Jesus Christ clearly stated and it is recorded in the Bible in the Book of John, Chapter 3 Verse 3: “3 Jesus answered and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”

You MUST be born again…There is no other way.

Jesus Christ also stated and it is also recorded in the Bible in the Book of John, Chapter 14, Verse 6: “6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.”

How then can one be Born Again and Come to the Father through Jesus?

Well, the Bible clearly states how in the Book of Romans, Chapter 10, Verses 9 through 11: “9 that if you confess with your mouth Jesus [as] Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; 10 for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. 11 For the Scripture says, “WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.”

Believe on Jesus. Recognize that you are a sinner, you have offended God and deserve hell. But equally importantly realize that God loves you and doesn’t want you or anyone else to go to hell. That is why He sent Jesus to take your punishment and my punishment and what took Him three hours to pay for our sins in full, would take us an eternity to pay for our sins but they would never get paid. Confess Jesus Christ as your Lord and believe with all your heart that God raised Him from the dead and trust in Him and only Him as the provider of your entry into Heaven. Do not put your trust in your good deeds or your money or your family or your church or anything else aside from what Jesus Christ did for you and me and all of humanity! Surrender your heart to Him and He will gladly take you in!

That above is how one becomes born again and that is how one comes to the Father through Jesus Christ.

When one becomes born again, he or she will receive The Holy Ghost immediately and The Holy Ghost will allow and compel that person to live for Christ, but that person needs to continuously yield to The Holy Ghost moving on his/her heart. This is the mission and desire of Jesus Christ and is stated so in the Bible in the Book of 2 Corinthians Chapter 5, Verse 15: “15 and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.”

My current pastor frequently tells us that we don’t have to clean up our lives in order to come to Jesus and that He will take us just as we are, but once He takes us in, we will begin to have a desire to clean up our lives especially the more we yield to The Holy Ghost moving on our hearts! He will cause you to want to repent of your sins through His loving conviction and you will have more success in repentance and victory over your sins by yielding more and more to Him!

Just know that you will sin again, as long as you live on this earth you will still sin at some point or another but if you genuinely come to Jesus, all of your sins, past present and future will be totally forgiven!

Jesus Christ is knocking on the door of your heart and I know it. How do I know it? Because of the fact that you are still reading this! Furthermore, Jesus says how he wants to enter your heart and the Bible records Him saying so in the Book of Revelation, Chapter 3, Verse 20: “20 ‘Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.”

Will you open the door to Jesus?

Will you let Him in?

This is the MOST important decision you will ever make and it will affect your eternal destiny and position.

I cannot make this decision for you.

Only you can.

Please choose Jesus.

If you do indeed want Jesus to save you, just talk to Him like you would talk to your best friend or a good, loving spouse. Let Him know that you know you are a sinner and you are sorry for offending Him with your sinful choices and that you know He is willing to forgive all your sins. Ask Him to forgive you and to rule your life from this point on. Ask Him to come into your heart.

If you do this earnestly and genuinely, you should feel as if the biggest burden was totally lifted off of you and you have been set free. That is exactly what happened to me in July of 2004 and it was the best choice I ever made!

If you did indeed choose Jesus and have surrendered your heart to Him, let me say Praise God and Congratulations! Now, the next step is to find a Bible believing church to join where you will be around people who will help you grow in Christ and encourage you in your walk with Him.

The other thing to do is to tell others what you have learned and what Jesus has done and is doing for you…

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A Review of the Realistic (Radio Shack®) Pro-32 Handheld Programmable Scanner Radio

I am a very sentimental person.

I also frequently think about what technology was like around the time I came into this world (especially radio and computer technology.)

Because of that, for years, I had wanted to own a Realistic (Radio Shack®) Pro-32 scanner.

Why?

Because it was put on the market in 1987, the same year I was born.

In 1987 this was Radio Shack’s premium handheld scanner. It retailed for $299.99 (which would be the equivalent of $674.84 in 2019 Dollars.) I bought mine second hand but in very good condition with the original box and paper work for $25 even (more on that in a bit.)

The Pro-32 runs on 6 AA Alkaline or Rechargeable (NiCad/NiMH) batteries. It also uses three watch batteries to power what was a vast memory (200 Bank+10 Monitor Channels) in 1987. The Frequency ranges it covers are:
30-54 MHz FM
108-136 MHz AM
138-174 MHz FM
AND
380-512 MHz FM

This scanner must have been a failure, because it was only featured in the Radio Shack Catalogs from 1987 to 1988.

In 1989, a significantly more sophisticated model was put on the market, the Pro-34. This better scanner also ran on 6 AA batteries, but did not require watch batteries for the memory. In addition to what the Pro-32 received, the Pro-34 had more frequency ranges:
806-823 MHz FM
857-868 MHz FM
AND
896-906 MHz FM

Many police, fire and EMS services as well as some bigger businesses would begin to migrate to 800 MHz in the 1990s.

The Pro-34 costed slightly more at $329.99 ($680.07 in 2019 Dollars)

What I find amusing though, is the Pro-32 seems to be the direct ancestor of several entry level scanner radios such as:

The Radio Shack Pro-79, which came out 15 years later in 2002 and is more power efficient (runs on 4 AA batteries instead of 6 and the memory is flash based instead of requiring those watch batteries) and costed $99.99 ($142.04 in 2019 Dollars.)

The Radio Shack Pro-82, which came out 16 years later in 2003 and has the features of the Pro-79 in addition to push button dedicated searches for certain radio services and costed between $79.99-$99.99 ($111.09-$138.87 in 2019 Dollars.)

The Radio Shack Pro-404, which came out 22 years later in 2009 has all the features of the Pro-82 in addition to a Signal Stalker/Spectrum Sweeper and PC programmable features and also costed $79.99-$99.99 ($95.28-$119.10 in 2019 Dollars.)

The Radio Shack Pro 649 which came out about 27 years later in 2014 and is almost a younger clone of the Pro-404, but can tune in more narrow frequency steps on certain bands and costed $99.99 ($107.94 in 2019 Dollars.)

The closest modern equivalent to it is the Whistler WS-1010, which came out 31 years or so in 2018 or so and has all the features of the Pro 649 but double the memory and costs between $79.99-$119.99 ($81.40-$122.11 in 2019 Dollars.)

I had checked on eBay quite a few times trying to buy this scanner, but there was always a problem purchasing it.

A few weeks ago, I had tried for the final time, when my transaction didn’t go through. Within seconds of the failed transaction, The Good Lord Himself told me stop and wait because I would be purchasing one at Ham Vention 2019 in Ohio.

I’m beginning to learn to obey Him and this time, I did just that.

And do you, the reader, know what?

The Pro-32 scanner I bought a Ham Vention was in much better condition and cheaper than any of the ones selling on eBay!

Any Christian (but only a Christian) is a child of the One True God. And God is a passionate loving Father who wants only the best for His children. This is a very small but still valid example of that.

By the way, this particular scanner is not very common. Case in point: It is vintage and it wasn’t in production very long. That means there probably aren’t too many in existence anymore. It would have taken basically an act of God for one to be available at the flea market, for me to see it there because the flea market is the size of a horse track and covered entirely with vendors and for no one else to purchase it. So the fact that God Himself told me I would be purchasing one at the Ham Vention flea market, strengthens my faith in Him and my walk with Him and it should be good testimony for believers and non believers alike!

I was planning to go to Ham Vention to purchase gently used flashlights and calculators in the flea market anyway, like I did last year.

I am indeed a ham and in fact, I do hold a General Class license.

Those of you whom were forwarded to my blog from Q R Zed already know this, but I don’t like to give out my call sign.

I’m not too active on the radio, because of where I currently live.

My lease forbids any sort of transmitting antennas and neither do I want to interfere with any of my neighbors’ electronics, because I tend to enjoy peace and detest drama.

So for that reason, I basically stay on 2 Meters and 440 with low power portable radios and usually only during emergencies.

I do all my HF, high powered long antenna activities at a friend’s house with his equipment.

So why besides it being as old as me would I want a Radio Shack Pro-32?

I mean, compared to the modern scanners: It is bulky as a brick in size and weight. It is power hungry as a starving pit bull in a butcher. It is slower than molasses in the dead of winter when it comes to scan and search speed. It is analog only which makes it obsolete, at least partially. And the coverage is limited.

Yes, that is all very true.

…BUT…

I find that for what I listen to most which is railroad and marine traffic, older scanners are far more sensitive than their modern counterparts. They clearly pull in signals from farther away that most modern scanners cannot even detect. Japanese electronics, which this particular scanner was made in Japan, seem to overwhelmingly outperform their Chinese and Vietnamese made descendants in ways where performance truly counts.

I interpreted the date code (5A7) to mean this particular unit was made in May of 1987. That means it was made thirty two years ago this month (the same month I bought it)!

What amuses and amazes me the most is that the model number is 32, I am 32 (at the time of writing this) and it is also 32! God definitely has His hand in this!

This concludes my review on the Radio Shack Pro-32.

I would like to thank and cite Radio Shack Catalogs for the picture (which I do not own) and the technical details.

I hope you the reader have been informed and entertained by this piece. Thank you for taking the time of reading and may God richly bless you!

Back to “Product Reviews”

Love Among Terrorism

It’s a quiet Friday evening.

I sit alone in my apartment eating white beans and rice seasoned with Jalapeno peppers soaking in white vinegar.

Who knew such a cheap meal could taste so good?

After I take my last bite, I clear my table and walk to the kitchen sink to wash dishes.

I pour some dish detergent in the basin and draw the hot water.

As I wash the pots, plates, and utensils, I think about my wonderful girlfriend and how she and I will spend the day together tomorrow.

I am 31 and she is 27, but we pretend that she is 17 and I am 21.

She brightens up my otherwise sad life and I thank God for her and only wish that we would have met much sooner.

Suddenly, I hear a very loud sound, as if large a bomb went off. My whole apartment vibrates.

I look out from my second story kitchen window to see a giant fireball against the night sky.

There must have been some kind of an explosion at the tank barge terminal.

I passed through this area on a daily basis for years, to attend school and work never once thinking that the whole place could go up in flames.

It wasn’t until I began drawing disability and moved into the apartment complex adjacent to the tank farms that the thought of an explosion crossed my mind.

I watch the flames light up the sky.

Suddenly, the weather radio in my kitchen sounds its siren.

I touch the screen so I can hear the broadcast.

My thoughts and fears are confirmed there was an explosion at the tank barge terminal.

I walk into my living room, adjust my antenna and switch my television set on.

I tune it to the local news station.

High school football is interrupted by an emergency bulletin.

The station owner is now live and he seems to think that this explosion was no accident and therefore an act of terrorism.

I watch him tell his viewers how justice must be served.

In actuality, I’m disappointed but not surprised at all. There has been serious division in this country for some time now and our enemies laugh at us.

They also know our weak points all too well.

Suddenly, there is a knock at my door.

I answer.

A young sheriff’s deputy orders me to evacuate immediately.

I promptly comply with the orders and then beg him, “Please be careful.”

“I’ll try my best, sir, you just get your butt out of here,” He replies.

With that, I place two tee shirts and two pairs of pants in my everyday carry backpack, along with my medications and the few valuables I can take with me, then walk out the door.

I lock the deadbolt, then walk down the stairs to my car, a 1991 Oldsmobile.

As I put the key in my ignition, my phone rings.

It’s my girlfriend calling.

Hurriedly, I answer, “Hey, Bae.”

“There was an explosion near you. Are you all right?”

“Yes, I have to evacuate, so I hope I can come your way.”

“Please do! I definitely need to see you right now anyway, because I was so afraid you were killed in that awful explosion.”

“I’m okay, in fact, I’m pulling out of the complex’s parking lot right now.”

“Okay, focus on driving safely.”

“Traffic might be very dense right now, though.”

“Just be careful, I’ll wait all night for you if I have to.”

“Okay, bae I’ll get there when I can. I love you and I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“I love you too and you won’t.”

“Okay, bae, bye.”

“Bye.”

I continue driving.

Cops are directing traffic at every signaled intersection, to get everyone out quickly.

I drive through the darkness. The closer I get to my girlfriend’s family’s house, it seems the longer the trip takes.

Finally, I pull into the driveway, where she is nervously sitting on the porch.

I step out of my car and she longingly rushes up to me.

We embrace, then share several sweet kisses.

“Thank God, you’re safe, bae!” She tells me.

I hold her by her beautiful, curvy waist, then look her in the eyes and speak, “I love you so much, bae!”

“I love you too!” She replies.

Her family then greets me, angered over the terrorist attack, but relieved that I survived…

A Review of the Texas Instruments TI-12 Math Explorer

As with flashlights, I have had a lifelong fascination with calculators.

I’ve frequently written about them in the past and I always carry one or two in my edc backpack.

This piece will be me reviewing a calculator that I formerly edced from 2012 to about 2016, the Texas Instruments TI-12 Math Explorer. It was initially introduced in 1987 revised in 1989, 1991, 1993 and finally 1997 (the version which I own) and still being produced by the mid-2000s, (mine came off the assembly line in February of 2005) despite an upgraded version, the TI-15 being released in February of 2000.

By the way, I would like to extend a big thank you to the wonderful people at the Datamath Calculator Museum for the photo of this calculator. I do not own the photo.

They are an excellent source of reference material pertaining to calculators and I have spent countless hours on that site, enriching my brain.

There are three to four other items which I had carried in conjunction with this calculator and they are a Blue Incandescent Mini Maglite flashlight, a Black Mini Maglite LED Pro flashlight (serial number: PG000107905), a single coping blade Cabon Steel Klein Electrician’s knife and sometimes a Black 3 D Cell Incandescent Maglite flashlight (serial number: D3049220554.)

The TI-Math Explorer was designed for elementary and middle school use. However, my sixth and seventh-grade math teacher (same person for both grades, Mrs. Phyllis Holman) was teaching us some cool math that was way ahead of the curriculum and was somehow able to get our parents to buy us each a TI-30 for her class!

In sixth grade, I used one of the many hand me down calculators that my mom’s students had discarded.

For seventh grade, I was able to convince my mom to buy me a brand new TI-30 XIIS (double line 1999 version), which I would carry in my pocket both during school and in the off hours. I would indeed sometimes carry it, but I didn’t everyday carry it.

When I was in school, I kept it in my school bag. When I was out of school, I kept it in my toolbox.

I had this calculator well into eighth grade then I misplaced it during the summer between eighth and ninth grade.

I had, believe it or not, lost interest in calculators (as well as flashlights) by this point!

It was in eighth grade that I had first learned about the TI-12 Math Explorer.

My math teacher and distant cousin, Mister Clarence Joseph Tastet, had several in his classroom which he would loan out to the students.

I never needed one of his calculators because I always had my TI-30 in his class.

By the way, one of Mr. Tastet’s amusing quirks was that he very matter of factly said, “Uh…Calculators don’t bounce!” every time a calculator fell on the floor.

He left Vandebilt Catholic High School after teaching me.

Many of the students were so durn ugly to him, I guess it was because of his temper and his no-nonsense approach to teaching. Even though we are like fourth cousins, we have the exact same temper when provoked. By the way, I will say that if you knew him outside of the classroom, he’s a really cool person and extremely smart.

At some point, I had even joked that VCHS’s math department had purchased the TI-Math Explorer in bulk because they matched the said school’s colors.

At the end of my sophomore year, I had found a gently used TI-83 Plus with no name in it, so I was able to keep it.

I would be needing one anyway for the next two math courses I was required to take.

Having this calculator briefly reignited my interest in calculators, but mostly for playing games.

During recess and class if we had free time, I would play games which I had downloaded, like 1943, Mario, Harvest Moon, and Duck Hunt. Of course, I also had to download the Mirage Operating System in order to run games written in the Assembly language on the TI-83 and TI-84 models.

I only got chewed out twice, believe it or not.

During my junior year, I had twice found a TI-Math Explorer laying on the floor.

Both times, there were the owners’ names written on the instruction card

One of them belonged to senior Katherine Mohana, which I immediately returned to her.

I forget whom the other one had belonged to, but I promptly returned that one as well.

Even back then, I guess I had fervently believed in always trying to be kind and honest.

Probably what reinforced this behavior, was that there were signs all over the school which boldly stated, “Practice Random Acts of Kindness.”

By the way, those signs should be placed in every school at every level of education, because they obviously work!

Around my senior year, I had begun to secretly covet a TI-12 Math Explorer.

However, there was only one place that sold them locally and they wanted over $25 for one.

That place was Lee’s Educational Supply in the Historical District of Downtown Houma.

Wal-Mart, Target, Office Depot/Max and even Radio Shack sold calculators that were considerably more powerful (TI-30, TI-34 and TI-36), not to mention their Casio and Sharp counterparts and the knock-off versions all for somewhat less, than what Lee’s Supply was charging for a TI-12 Math Explorer so I had hung up the idea of purchasing one.

I had other interests at the time such as collecting knives and radio equipment. My flashlight interest was also coming back. So that is what I focused my spending cash on.

Fast forward to around the age of twenty-five. I was frequently helping family, friends and now ex in-laws perform household and automotive do it yourself projects.

I was not the expert in the group, except when working on electrical or HVAC equipment, but I soon realized that a calculator which could do arithmetic with fractions, mixed numbers and decimals would be extremely useful.

Sometimes knowledge on what size socket was needed or a piece of wood needed to be cut to a precise amount or just basic arithmetic for a construction or electrical formula needed to be quickly carried out.

In November of 2012 or so, I had seen a used TI-Math Explorer in pristine condition selling for $6.99 with free shipping on eBay.

I had just enough money in my checking account, so I happily purchased it!

It came in the mail a few days later and I had begun heavily using it.

The TI-Math Explorer, while intended to be a classroom calculator, fit the bill perfectly.

Not only could it quickly convert fractions to decimals as well as add, subtract, multiply or divide fractions, decimals, and mixed numbers, it was rugged enough to be carried in a backpack or tool satchel.

It can also do exponents and has a Pi approximation constant of with a precision of 3.1415927, which is featured in lower end scientific calculators.

Furthermore, it runs strictly on solar power, which means it never needs batteries, nor will it be damaged by a leaking battery!

Due to the calculator’s rugged construction, which was to encourage use in the schoolyard, the solar cells and LCD were very protected, it made the perfect calculator for a tradesman or do it your selfer, which is virtually an unrealized market!

The keys and cabinet are made of hard plastic and it comes with a handy cover for protection when being carried or not in use.

I am, however, the only person I know of though, that used a TI-Math Explorer in a non-classroom setting.

In June of 2014, I had bought a Texas Instruments TI-36 X Pro, mainly for assistance in my experiments with weather instruments, but also for weight conversions when going to the doctor and assisting me with computer and radio scanner programming (the little that I know.)

I had kept my Math Explorer in my edc backpack though and would still use it up until about 2016.

In 2016, I had purchased a Craftsman Satchel to put all of my Craftsman tools and easily carry them whenever I needed to make a repair or assist in making a repair and I ended up placing my Math Explorer and all of the aforementioned gadgets I had carried with it in that bag.

In 2018, I had placed it and other gadgets that are sentimental to me in a tactical MOLLE pouch, that I keep near my bed.

For years, I had been wanting Texas Instruments to produce some calculators for tradespeople as other companies had done.

Lord knows their calculators are built very well, perform with high accuracy and precision not to mention they are very easy to use.

However, my opinion isn’t important enough and if it was, Victorinox would have also made a high precision thermometer for people working in the HVAC and food service industry and other companies would have made some cool gadgets that I had suggested.

When I was an HVAC student, I was playing with the idea of teaching myself machine language to write an app for graphing calculators for use in the HVAC field.

My professor, by the way, thought this was a brilliant idea, however, smartphones have become so common that they are used in place of calculators out in the field by tradespeople.

This calculator, The TI-12 Math Explorer goes above and beyond its original call of duty and my experiences with it are indeed very valid proof.

I give it a rating of 5 stars!

I guess I have a way of finding a use for devices where they turn out to be perfect solutions for situations which they were never really marketed far.

Back to “Product Reviews”

2013 Vision of The Two Women

I had this vision around August or so of 2013.

I penned it in December of 2013.

Here it is:

And there was a rich, powerful and very influential young man. Two young women were trying to catch his affections. He learned of this and summoned both of them to his living quarters.

The first woman stood to the left of him. She was 18 years old and covered in jewelry and makeup. She wore a dark red halter top and a purple mini skirt. Her skin was tanned and her body was toned and muscular. Many young boys were attracted to her because of her scandalous ways. However, she led all of those boys to a life of misery. She was a vicious fighter and severely injured anyone who she thought was a threat. Her wanting to be with the young man was only because of his money and power. This woman was sure she could use her seductive powers to attract him.

The second woman stood to the right of him. She was 22 years old and wore no makeup nor jewelry. Her skin was quite pale and her body was pleasantly plump, but it greatly complimented her appearance. It made her very cute and innocent looking. She was clothed in a white T-Shirt and long denim jeans. No men ever paid much attention to her and therefore was a virgin. The first woman greatly mocked her for being a virgin. She was also mocked by her peers for dressing plainly. Still, she had a gentleness about her and was affectionate and loving. She did not ever fight nor did she know. She heard of the young man and desired him. She desired him because she knew he was very kind and maybe he would treat her with kindness. She didn’t have much to offer the young man or so she thought.

The young man looked at both of them.

The first woman raised her skirt to him, to which he looked away. The second woman simply smiled at him and blushed. He smiled back at her.

The first woman said “I know why you should be with me: I am not fat like her. I am much sexier than her. I can do things with you that are beyond your wildest fantasy, can she? Pick me and your life will be full of pleasure!”

The second woman said “I am not saying that you should be with me. I would like to be with you because I hear that you are single, but also I hear that you are kind-hearted. I feel much honored that you even gave me a chance to present myself to you. If you pick me, I promise that I will love you forever.”

Then the young man looked to the second woman and said “Come with me. You are so beautiful to me and I want you forever! You are the one I choose as I already know you will love me for me. You will forever be a faithful partner. I already know that as well. I want you to be my wife and our wedding will be a magnificent celebration!”

Immediately, the first woman cursed the young man. He faced her and replied “You, on the other hand, are a harlot. You have polluted many with your filth! You desired me, but for all the wrong reasons. You wanted only my money and my power. You assumed you could use your seduction to get those things, but you are dead wrong!”

The first woman became filled with rage and attacked the second woman. She slashed her face with her long fingernails and scarred it. The first woman cut off the second woman’s clothes with a blade she had concealed. She lay there on the floor in great pain, exposed and humiliation, sobbing. The first woman slapped the second woman in the head and knocked her out. She then again pulled out her blade and prepared to kill her. Immediately, the guards came and seized her.

The young man came up to the second woman and wrapped his arms around her. He gently woke her up and kissed her. As she woke up; she said: “I definitely don’t deserve you now, look how ugly I am.” The young man replied “It doesn’t matter to me, I still love you and I always will. I will get you some new clothes, and if you wish, I will get those scars removed from your face.” The second girl rested her face in his chest “I cannot fathom how much you love me, but I know it must be immensely! I can easily and simply believe that. I want to and will love you as much as I can.” He kissed her and said “That is good enough for me. Come now, I will give you a safe place to stay. And I will keep you there until we are wed.”

…Marvel not at what you just read. I can fully explain the meaning behind this vision, which I had while shopping…

The first woman represents all cults, apostate denominations/churches, and false teachers.

The second woman represents the True Christian Church and genuine believers from all denominations and fragmented churches belonging to it…

Back to “Dreams and Visions Involving Biblical and Christian Themes”

I am a [Potential] Alcoholic

I am a [potential] alcoholic.

I’ve never drunk consistently enough to where it actually caused serious problems, but the urge in me to do so is definitely there.

In this piece, I will try to explore why I am this way.

There are plenty of alcoholics in my family tree and definitely into my extended family, on both sides.

The first time I remember consuming alcohol was in 1989. I was around the age of two. An uncle by marriage was sitting at my paternal grandparents’ kitchen table and sipping on a can of Miller Lite. For whatever reason, he gave me a sip and a few minutes later I passed out. Later that day I woke up on the floor of my grandparents’ den and Richard Simmonds was on the television.

Another time in the Summer of 1990, my parents had a few cans of Budweiser in their refrigerator. I was three and a half and opened one of those cans then took a sip, but was absolutely disgusted by the taste. The ironic part is now, in my early thirties, Budweiser is my absolute favorite beer and I thoroughly enjoy the taste of it. I remember going up to my dad and saying how the “Coke”, or what I assumed to be Coke, in the refrigerator was “sour”, then pointing to the can. My dad starting freaking out with great concern and asked, “Eric did you take a big sip?” I told him that I didn’t. Had I actually taken a big sip, he would have probably called 911 out of concern for my well being.

I can remember in the Summer of 1995, at the age of eight, I had just fully learned how to read and would read everything I could. Almost every day, I was in Conoco station where my dad would purchase Gasoline and a can of Sprite for me. I saw a sign in there that read “Ice Cold Beer.” Though I hadn’t really been exposed too much to alcohol at that point, I can remember having a strong craving for that beer. I also used to love to go to gas stations because of the smell of beer.

From 1991 to 2001, I had attended an extremely strict catholic elementary school with an extremely rigorous curriculum. It got tougher as I advanced to each grade. By Seventh Grade, (2000-2001) during the little free time I had in school, I would frequently read from the catholic Bible. The book I was particularly interested in was Sirach, which isn’t in the Protestant Bible. From reading Sirach, I had learned that alcoholic beverages were intended by God to be a way of temporarily forgetting one’s trouble and having a good time at social gatherings. It made clear sense to me. That coupled with the fact that we were constantly working on school projects which added an unnecessary amount of stress to what should have been a carefree childhood. Supposedly, this was to prepare us for a four-year college. But notice something: A lot of students attending four-year colleges frequently binge drink because of the stress brought on from the God awful load of school work they are required to do. This, back in 2001, was the catalyst, in me becoming aware that I am a [potential] alcoholic. The only reason why I didn’t become a drinker at that point is that I had no access to alcoholic beverages. The reason why catholics have no issue with drinking and even drink heavily on religious holidays could possibly be from the book of Sirach. Since Sirach isn’t in the Protestant Bible, most Protestants detest drinking altogether, though some Protestants still drink behind closed doors, but feel convicted and ashamed when doing so. Well, I myself am Protestant and have been from 2004 to 2005 and since about 2008. Case in point, I do drink behind closed doors but definitely, feel convicted and ashamed when drinking. In fact, earlier tonight, I went out on a drive and stopped at a store on my way home to make a few groceries. I almost purchased a can of cold beer, but thought better of it.

On March 15, 2003, I was sixteen and had met a pretty (and plus sized) girl while doing volunteer work. We seemed to hit it off quite well but then she dumped me a day later. I remembered what I had read in Sirach, plus many of my high school friends consumed alcohol on a regular basis. I decided to drink this pain away. So, I had invaded my parents liquor cabinet and drank as much Jack Daniels as possible. This was my first time drunk, but I must say my spirits were lifted and I was in a much better mood for the rest of the day. Whiskey causes most men to become extremely belligerent, but it makes me quite jolly and much friendlier than when I am sober.

In October of 2003, I was sixteen going on seventeen, it was Friday night and I was at a party where I had consumed five beers then half a fifth of cheap Vodka. I was very loud and very jolly but couldn’t even walk straight. I was the life of the party. It is truly by the Grace of God that I didn’t get alcohol poisoning that evening and that I eventually vomited it back up. However, this experience had cemented my love for alcohol. I eschewed the laws on the books about alcohol and had already eschewed the laws on the books about guns. This made me decide to commit to the Libertarian Party, after hearing a radio broadcast about a week later. I was a registered Libertarian from ages 18 to 19, when I became what I am today-Independent. I still have quite a few Libertarian tendencies though, but I recognize the need for some government and the Libertarians no longer appeal to me completely.

In June of 2004, at the age of seventeen, I broke down mentally and was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. I had plenty of misdiagnoses and improper treatments prior to this, but in retrospect, I showed the symptoms of Schizophrenia ever since the age of six This meant taking medication for the rest of my life, which was not to be mixed with any alcohol. For the next four years, I pretty much became a teetotaler. I took Risperdal from ages fifteen to sixteen (because of a partial misdiagnosis), then seventeen to nineteen for Schizophrenia. From ages nineteen to twenty, then twenty-three to pretty much the present day, I took and still take Geodon. From age twenty to twenty-three I took Abilify.

In 2008 I became twenty-one, the drinking age. Alcohol was tolerated with this drug, so I began to drink beer every now and then. I had income with little bills and I was of age to buy my own alcohol. Also for most of the age twenty-two, I was working and would frequently have a beer after work. My then girlfriend didn’t like it, later wife, soon to be ex-wife, because of alcohol’s effects on her family members. She assumed I’d be the same way, but she was and still is dead wrong. I’ve never done anything irresponsible or violent even at my very drunkest.

In late 2011, at the age of twenty-four going on twenty-five, I would go out drinking in a bar room with a former coworker. This was my reward for me helping him with his computer. Also, around this time, I was told by a very competent physician that one beer per day wouldn’t hurt me and would actually be quite beneficial.

Towards my late twenties, I was in an unhappy marriage. I have my own faults don’t get me wrong, but I didn’t deserve to be emotionally neglected or even put on the proverbial back burner like my wife constantly did to me. I also didn’t deserve to be constantly put down, especially where my writing was concerned. I just stuck with it though, because I had felt that doing so would honor God. A family friend would frequently drink with me and supply me with beer and whiskey. My wife hated this with a hot passion, yet she was the cause of my desire to drink.

In the Summer of 2017, this family friend took his two sons, plus my wife and I on a trip to Tennesee. One night during this trip, my wife was harping on me about everything under the sun (or moon-it was nighttime.) The family friend got aggravated with her and brought me out drinking. We came back plastered. When we got back to the cabin, I was jolly as could be and the two boys were enjoying my drunk company but my wife was cursing me out. She probably would have hit me, had no one else been there as she had done several times behind closed doors over the course of our marriage.

Later that summer due to a temptation which I eventually never actually gave in to, plus years of emotional infidelity, frequent neglect and total mistreatment, from my wife, I was desiring a divorce. The temptation, though I remained faithful to my wife, taught me that there are nicer women out there. Because of this, my wife began doing things behind my back. I had drunk so much during the period of time, that my hair began to fall out. But by the Grace of God, my hair has all grown back and is thick as ever. Despite all the drinking, I never caused any injury, no not even insult. I know durn good and well not to drive or operate machinery when under the influence. I flat out refuse to, even if I had just one little beer. It’s not worth the legal implications of a drunk driving charge.

On January 17, 2018, I had just made thirty-one and was told by a secret informant what exactly my wife was doing behind my back. I bit the bullet and decided I would leave her. In preparation for this, the same family friend took me out drinking after I admitted to him what I found out. We had gotten totally plastered that night. I was in very good spirits, frequently giggling, despite knowing what lied ahead of me, though I couldn’t stand for very long without falling. We sobered up in my car, then when the alcohol was out of my system, I drove to his house and I slept for that day.

I moved in with another friend a day later, then in May of 2018, got an apartment where I am currently staying.

Since that night in January 2018, I have casually drunk a few times, but never enough to alter my judgment or consciousness.

The reason why I am not a full-blown alcoholic is that I cannot afford enough alcohol being on the fixed income I get for being schizophrenic. I do have an addiction to flashlights, but that is a totally harmless and actually beneficial addiction that only consumes what little extra spending money I have. I look at this too as the Grace of God in just a different manifestation. I pay for my rent, necessary expenses, and utilities responsibly, so if I want a flashlight here or there, to whom does it harm? No one!

To those who criticize me for liking flashlights:

Would you rather me be a full-blown alcoholic and use my spending money on alcohol?

Flashlights are not going to cause cancer or other health problems of any kind.
Flashlights are not going to impair my judgment or coordination.
Flashlights can be used as an instrument of self-defense, whereas alcohol totally hinders self-defense.
The worst thing flashlights do is sometimes freak out neighbors or people on the street.

I’m not trying to be self-righteous and I realize some may think I am.

On the contrary, I can totally relate to and very much sympathize with people who have more dangerous addictions to whatever they may be.

It is but only by the Grace of God that I am not a full blown alcoholic, just a potential alcoholic…

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2015-2016 Left Behind Dream

At some point in either 2015 or 2016, I had a dream that I was left behind after The Rapture. Needless to say, it was very disturbing. After seeing all of my fellow believers disappear, I remember myself and scores of other people being gathered into some type of auditorium. It is something I am going to refer to as an “anti church.” Many people in this place were being fitted with the mark of the beast. The authorities in charge, though heavily armed, were trying to appear benevolent as possible and also were making the acceptance of the mark appear to be the best decision ever in both description and display. Prizes, such as widescreen televisions and possibly even sports cars, were being given out to those who had decided to take the mark. I on the other hand, knew that I should never receive that mark no matter what or suffer eternal damnation. Still, many others took the mark. There was great applause throughout the gathering place every time someone did. I guess out of fear of my own personal safety, I chose not to speak out against this and kept very quiet though every fiber of my being knew it was gravely wrong. Throughout the dream, I never take the mark, but instead fervently pray for Jesus Christ’s Second Coming, even though it would be up to seven years away. At some point, I wake up with a very disturbed and fearful state of mind.

I would love to believe that a Pre Tribulation Rapture will happen and that all believers in Christ on the Earth will indeed be taken up, but sometimes I think it is too good to be true.

However, I know that even as a Christian, I am a carnal and wretched being, still full of sin.

This makes me wonder if I will still be taken up, should the Rapture happen in my lifetime, which all I have to do is look at or listen to the news media and quickly realize that things are definitely falling into place. I’m just waiting for the moment when there is an agreement to rebuild the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem and peace between Jews and Muslims is finally achieved. By the way, this event will be what causes the Rapture, because of the Tribulation that follows. Every television channel in existence will break regular programming to cover this story, by the way. The person who facilitates agreement will appear to the world as an extremely righteous man, but I know he is the vilest human being ever created.

My source of comfort, though, in all of this is that every Christian is a sinner too, though some more than others. That’s why Jesus Christ went to the Cross, to begin with. And not only that, my good works (the very few there are) cannot and do not save me, to begin with, but the love and mercy of God imparted to me through the final Sacrifice of Jesus Christ is what saves me and it will be that same love and mercy that will allow me to be raptured, should the Rapture occur in my lifetime.

I don’t know what the purpose of this dream was, other than, this subject is frequently on my mind both at the conscious and subconscious levels in addition to my imagination already being quite overactive…

Back to “Dreams and Visions Involving Biblical and Christian Themes”