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Excerpts from “Radiant Affection”

I began writing this in the early parts of 2012 as a replacement to my story “The Textfile” or at least the original version.  I have been working on it ever since.  While I do present the Gospel in this story (not shown in these excerpts), there is some fornication and cohabitation occurring, so as a Christian, I cannot show it publicly in its entirety.  However, I want to show these excerpts so I can make it known that my two characters love each other immensely and have been in love for four years, but also show what they are up against because of their relationship.

Without further ado, here are the excerpts:

…It was a cold and dry Thursday afternoon on February 4, 2010. Logan had just clocked out of his work. He locked the building, then started up his truck and, as usual, drove to the library. Upon arrival, he retrieved his EDC bag from behind the seat. This bag held his laptop and other personal gadgets. Logan then walked to the second floor and sat down. He connected his laptop through the library’s WiFi system and began to browse the Internet. He checked his email then looked at Myspace and Facebook for a while. When he saw there was no new activity; Logan pulled up the weather report. It indicated that the weather would be sunny and dry, but with near-freezing temperatures. For the night it would be clear and dry but with a light freeze. After reading the weather report; he pulled up the secret web page. He read all of the stories that had been posted since April of 2006 and focused on his computer screen. Logan wondered who would still be writing these since he was almost three years out of high school. He still assumed that this was a prank, so it shocked him that someone would still want to mess with him.

Mila drove to the library to upload a fantasy of her and Logan that she had just completed. Upon finishing with the computer, she walked upstairs to begin her schoolwork. Mila walked through the stairwell doors and entered the room.

Logan noticed that a new story had just been posted to the web page. He was about to read it when, suddenly, the stairwell door opened and in walked a beautiful girl in her uniform skirt. Immediately, he thought of Mila and his eyes were instantly fixated on her. After a few moments of staring, he realized it was indeed Mila. He stood up and watched in awestruck admiration, as she walked in. She noticed him and smiled sweetly. She took a second look at him and realized who he was. It was Logan, but with a more masculine look.

“It’s him!” Mila said with excitement. Immediately, she ran up to him, and said, “I know you! You’re Logan Baines.”

Nervously, but passionately he replied, “Oh Mila, I can’t believe you remember me!” He softly said as they tightly hugged each other.

She humbly replied to him, “Well, you sure are someone who is hard to forget.”

Awkwardly, they stared into each others’ eyes and simply smiled. Mila then said, “I had such strong feelings for you back when you went to school with me and I still do.  Oh, if only you knew.” Mila paused then continued, “I think you felt something for me, I always noticed how you would smile and blush.”

Logan’s whole body became flushed, but he caught himself and said, “Yes, it is true. I had feelings for you back then. I still have those feelings. They never left me.” He paused and then continued, “I would have sought you out back then, but I was afraid of the law and wanted to save you the humiliating scandal.”

Mila replied, “I am eighteen now, and that means I can be your girlfriend and we can do whatever we please.”

Logan swallowed hard and then said, “I would be honored to have you, but…” He paused, then continued, “It’s just I still see that same sweet and innocent girl from four years ago. I have a deep reverence for your beautiful body and soul. I don’t mean to sound like I am talking down to you and I definitely don’t want to repel you. Please understand!”

Mila replied “Oh Logan! Those are the sweetest words I have ever heard anyone say about me. And the fact that they came out of your mouth, fills my heart even more with ecstasy! If only you knew how much I want you.” She continued, “I just hope you are okay with this!”

Quickly she pecked him on the cheek.

Logan blushed and his whole body became warm once again. “Oh Mila, you are just as affectionate and sweet as I imagined. It’s perfectly okay that you kissed me. I would like to give you a kiss as well.”

“If you want to, you may,” Mila said as she smiled. Softly, Logan kissed her. Their lips mixed and became one set.

“This is so wonderful Mila!” Logan said.

The city policeman working a security detail in the library shouted, “Knock it off right now!”

Many people stared in shock.

“Sorry,” Logan said, sheepishly.

Then Mila continued, “Why don’t you come over to my house?”

“Sure, Mila, but what would your parents think?”

“My mom is probably drunk or full of pills and my dad left a year ago.”

“Well, I guess,” Logan nervously said, then continued, “I don’t want you to make you do something you will regret.”

“Trust me, you won’t!”

“Well do you have a car or do you want me to drive you to your house?”

“My dad bought me a car; just before he left my mom. You can follow me home.”

“Very well Mila, I will follow you home.” He became filled with passion and nervousness.

They left the library, not realizing that several of Melody’s elite upper-class were conducting a meeting and that they saw and heard everything that went on between Logan and Mila…

 

Here’s another excerpt occurring a day later:

…After arriving on the campus and parking her car, Mila walked into school happier than ever. She had the most beautiful smile on her face and there seemed to be a glow radiating from her whole body. She sat down alone, in the library, working on her current fantasy. She wrote with passion until the morning bell rang. Slowly, she headed to class, with Logan on her heart. It was her math class, so she knew she needed to try and pay attention.

Suddenly, the school president called Mila’s teacher over the intercom, “Please send Mila Gunther to my office.”

The teacher replied, “She’s on her way,” Then motioned for Mila to leave the classroom.

Mila walked down to the office, wondering what she could have possibly done to warrant her being called down.

She opened the door to the president’s office and he spoke with graveness, “Mila, I have a serious problem with you.” He paused and then said with a fit of confrontational anger, “You want to tell me why you were carrying on in a lewd manner while in uniform?” Mila began to shake. The president continued, “You have tarnished this school’s reputation and we have it on video from the library security camera.”

Mila shook more as she replied, “All I did was kiss him. There are so many others who get away with doing much worse than me.”

The president then replied with even more anger, “It’s the fact that you had attention called yourself by also talking out loud and kissing Logan Baines while in uniform, then having that policeman correct you. There were several civic leaders and local business owners there having a meeting. This disgusting incident is now the impression that everyone in the community will have of a student at our school. You’ve seriously misrepresented us.” The president continued “I am giving you two Saturday schools because of this. Consider yourself lucky, because I could have easily expelled you.” He paused then continued “However, I want you to break up with Logan Baines. If not, you will, indeed, be expelled.”

Mila began to cry as she said, “I cannot break up with him-we love each other deeply and we’ve been in love for almost four years.”

Koresh replied, “I don’t care, so save it for your counselor.”

Mila asked, “Why do you want me to leave him?”

Koresh replied, “Among other reasons; it is part of your punishment for carrying on like a whore and making our school look bad,” He paused, then angrily said, “Now get back to class and don’t you dare step out of line!”

Mila sulked as she walked back into the classroom. She was by no means going to break up with Logan, whom she had been in love with for so long. However, she knew that if anyone found out that they were still together she would be expelled and unable to graduate. The remainder of the day went by very slowly. As soon as school let out, Mila called Logan and explained the situation to him.

Logan replied, “That good for nothing Keith Koresh has gone too far this time. I thought after I graduated he would no longer have power over me.” He paused, then asked her “Well I hope you still want me, right?”

Mila said, “Yes, of course, but we will have to keep it covert. I won’t ever give up on you and me, after all that we share.”…

Yes, this is controversial, but I am trying to teach that Logan and Mila’s love for one another will survive all oppression and corruption.  That was my ulterior motive in writing this story.  The main motive was to present the True Gospel and expose false religion for what it is…

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The History of my Attraction to Bigger Females

NOTE I know that I originally wrote this in the latter parts of 2017, but I am modifying it for 2020…

My name is Eric John Monier and I am attracted to plus-sized and super-sized women.

Those of you who know me well enough are already very much aware of this.

In this piece, I will attempt to explain to you, the reader, of my attraction to bigger girls, women, and ladies as well as the history of it.

I don’t know exactly why I am attracted to this body type, but a woman with a soft belly, thick thighs, plump caboose and ample sized breasts in addition to a pretty face will drive me crazy in a lot of very good ways.

I used to not be attracted to bigger girls in my preteen years and up to age thirteen. I guess because the few that I had come across always had explosive tempers. I was so ignorant and close-minded at the time that I never put two and two together that maybe the reason that they had such tempers was from all the harassment they endured. I should have been able to figure this out because I was harassed quite a bit, myself, and yes, for a time it did cause me to be mean, but for whatever reason, I never put the pieces together. I feel terrible about what I used to say back in those days and I will NOT repeat it here. One downside of having a razor-sharp memory is remembering all the bad things I ever said and done, sometimes more than the good.

Since age fourteen or fifteen, my attitude began to drastically change, however, but I wasn’t out of the closet about this attraction until I sixteen or seventeen. And I wasn’t public about it until age nineteen.

I think the first time I was attracted to a plus-sized girl was when I was in seventh grade, at Saint Mary’s Nativity School. She was in sixth. I was harassed a lot at that school, but this girl always smiled at me, was very nice to me and even laughed at my jokes. I never asked her out because I knew if I did, I would be harassed even more for going out with her. I won’t reveal her name, even though I remember it well. I’m glad she’s married now likewise, I hope and pray that her husband adores her as she ought to be.

Fast forward to eighth grade, February 20, 2002, I was at a pep rally and two boys were trying to pick a fight with me. A beautiful plus-sized girl was standing near me in the bleachers shouting for them to “stop” and that they were “so mean.” After that day, I had a major crush on her that would last throughout high school. The only reason why I never tried to approach her, again, was fear of what others may think of me. I remember her name as well, but I won’t reveal it. She’s married now and has children, and, my God, I hope her husband treats her like the wonderful queen she is.

A little about my weight history:
In August of 2002, I was wrongfully and forcefully medicated on a terrible drug known as Risperdal. As a result, I gained a little weight. Before this, I was very underweight (5’4″ 100-115 pounds), but now I was slightly overweight (5’6″ 160-170 pounds.) I guess, because of this, I thought it would be more acceptable to date a bigger girl. However, none were interested in me or other cases, we had mutually planted each other in that wretched old “friend zone.”

On March 15, 2003, at the age of sixteen, I was attracted to a plus-sized girl who I later found out was a couple of months my senior. This was the first time I made a pass at a plus-sized girl. She accepted but then broke up with me a day later at the urging of her parents. This hurt resulted in my first time getting drunk.

In late March or early April of 2003, I was taken off all medication and maybe lost a little weight as a result.

Also in April of 2003, I discovered writing as many of you know.

In that wonderful summer of 2003, at the age of sixteen and a half, I had become known as a romantic writer by my peers and had a secret webpage displaying my work. I had other webpages as well and a fourteen-going-on-fifteen-year-old girl had contacted me online and we began a steamy online and texting relationship. She was slightly plus-sized, but I thought she was so beautiful and she thought I was cute. We also had similar sexual kinks, even though we were only minors, of which I won’t publicly disclose. Unfortunately, I lost all contact with her in the latter parts of 2004, but I do remember her name. It would be wonderful to find her again.

Fast forward to between June 14 and 17, 2004, I suffered a mental breakdown and was put on that wretched medication, Risperdal, once again. By December of 2004, I weighed around 198 pounds.

In January of 2005, I was now eighteen and put on an anti-convulsant, used off label as a mood stabilizer, Topamax, in addition to what I was already taking. This caused a dramatic amount of weight loss in a short amount of time. By that April, I was 5’6″ and 122 pounds!

Even though I had lost a lot of weight, I remained attracted to plus-sized women and girls. I don’t know why.

Unfortunately, none of them felt the same about me.

I was in an online and phone relationship with one girl, from September 2005 to December of 2005 but she was very skinny and tall. One of the reasons, but not the main reason why I ended it was because she was indeed too skinny. I feel so terrible admitting this though.

It was now late January of 2006 and I was on a more weight neutral medication known as Geodon. I also became very vocal about my attraction to bigger members of the opposite sex. I figured if people wanted to distance themselves from me because of this, I didn’t need them in my life anyway.

I was a senior in high school and there was one plus-sized girl, a freshman, whom I had a crush on. I think she liked me too, but I’m not 100% sure. Many people told me to pursue her, but while I highly revered and respected her and wouldn’t dare do anything sinful or illegal with her, I was still afraid of catching various charges. In December 2006, a few months after I graduated, I went on one semi-date with her at the mall, but we ended up freaking each other out. We remained good enough friends, until the latter parts of 2017. Also, from August to December of 2006, I had dated a few plus-sized young ladies, but never really got close to any of them and the relationships always ended in disaster.

On January 7, 2007, I had just made twenty a few days prior was working at my local grocer, pushing buggies in the parking lot. I saw a beautiful plus sized girl walking into the store. Soon all the buggies were picked up and I resumed bagging groceries. She went up to the cashiers of whom we mutually happened to be friends with and asked for them to tell her where the tuna fish (not remoulade sauce-ha) was located. Before bagging groceries and pushing buggies (which is more fun in my book), I was a stocker. Therefore I had an intimate knowledge of where everything was located in the store. I kindly offered to show this young lady where the tuna fish was located. We walked to the tuna fish aisle together and she placed several cans in her buggy. Then I resumed bagging groceries, but asked the two cashiers if they knew that girl and if so how old was she. They told me her name and her age (nineteen.) I had them print out a blank receipt and I wrote my two phone numbers on it. They then handed it to her. As she was leaving the store, I told her to call me and that I get off at five. On my way home, my phone rang and it was her. She invited me over to her parents’ house and we have been together until January 18, 2018. We got married three years and two days after we met and but our divorce was finalized on October 11, 2018. She didn’t like being plus size, but every time she complained about it, I told her how if she was skinny I would have never given her my number, to begin with.

In the summer of 2007 until April of 2010, I took Abilify and gained 100 pounds. I used to joke that the weight gain was an STI from then-girlfriend, later wife, now ex-wife. Since April of 2010, I’ve taken Geodon, though I tried other medications but usually no longer than a week.

I had talked to several women post leaving my now ex-wife and most of them were either plus-sized or super-sized. However, none of those relationships progressed very far. One was even skinny but lied and said she was a BBW, but we mutually ghosted each other.

Another was beautiful and super-sized, but because of our location distance, she put me in the friend zone which I now accept and we are still good friends to this day.

In the latter parts of 2018, I met and fell in love with a beautiful and sweet super-sized young lady. She treated me like a king and I treated her like a queen. We vindicated and complimented each other in many ways. And not only that we were madly attracted to each other physically! No one had ever made me so happy before or since. However, she called it quits on me on December 4, 2019. I was crushed, devastated and heartbroken. No one in my eyes could ever measure up to her, no not even close, and I even told her that every day. I was very serious about being true to her to the point that I found myself acting the way televangelist Billy Graham acted towards his wife, even though she and I never were even engaged. We were, however, talking very seriously about marriage, until she called it quits. However, this happened for a reason and I know The Lord has someone else for me, I just have to wait on Him. I just pray that she is either at least plus-sized or preferably super-sized. I would not be happy with a skinny or muscular woman nor would I try to make such a woman gain weight because I see that as a form of abuse to her.

I don’t like being overweight that much. I know it makes me look younger at times, but it is unhealthy for sure and makes me feel tired all the time. I guess I am a perfect hypocrite, because, while I don’t like being like this, I’m attracted to women who are. And as long as she has a pretty face, the bigger the better! Still, I definitely would not want to suddenly one day not be attracted to bigger women because then a part of me would die. I wouldn’t be myself anymore. What the Internet has taught me more than anything else is that I am not alone in any of my interests or attractions and there are a lot of other guys who are also attracted to plus-sized women.

Bigger women most certainly deserve to be loved too, and from what I’ve found out there are a lot of guys besides myself who are willing to love and adore them just as they should be loved and adored!

Body Shaming is Cruel Unnecessary and Obsolete and I hate being body-shamed when it does happen to me.  However, I am usually able to just brush it off. I don’t do it to anyone, regardless of size, because I try to see the soul of a person instead.  However, being a carnal human being, I tend to be nicer to a plus-sized or super-sized woman, than someone of different features in any given situation that arises.  I know this is wrong, but I am not perfect and never claimed to be.

I guess this concludes my piece on my attraction to bigger females.  I hope you, the reader, have got something out of this and now see that beauty is literally in the eyes of the beholder.

Back to “Personal Reflections”

 

To all the Plus-Sized and Super-Sized Women out there:

NOTE: This was originally written on February 21, 2018. I modified it in 2019 and 2020.

To all the plus-sized and super-sized women out there:

I think all of you are God’s most beautiful creations!

However, this world is a cold, wretched, hateful and downright cruel place. There are a lot of people who will harass, mock and reject you for no other reason than your body type. I get that many of you have beautiful hearts and souls, but there are still those who will be cruel to you. It’s not your fault, it’s because society is ugly, not you. Again, in my humble but honest opinion, you are the most beautiful of all God’s creatures.

More importantly, though, for as many that are cruel to you, there are probably just as many men who will love you, cherish you and adore you, not only because of your body type but because many of you have beautiful hearts and souls, despite all of the hell that you all go through. I know this because I am one of those people that are madly attracted to plus-sized and super-sized women. I know there are many other men like me out there, though they may not be as public about their attractions and desires as I am. They are afraid of what others think of them if they find out about these attractions, again it’s because society is ugly.

…About me…

I was recently single at the time of initially writing this, coming off of an eleven-year relationship which included a little over eight years of marriage. It was to a plus-sized woman, of whom for many years I truly loved and adored. Unfortunately, we didn’t work out. We both had faults, but according to all professionals close to the situation, it was her more than me. I won’t go into details about it publicly, though. I will include this one detail though: I was very much attracted to her body type and she hated her body type, which caused lots of friction. As a matter of fact, when I first saw her, the first thing I noticed was her body of which I was madly attracted to.

UPDATE: I was indeed in a very loving relationship with a beautiful and super-sized young lady from the latter parts of 2018 until December 4, 2019. She just gave up on me and my heart was broken. I loved her so much and I thought she loved me, I mean she claimed that she did all the time.

I know I have flaws. I am very far from perfect or normal, but I think this has made me a more understanding person. You see, I am a little overweight, but haven’t always been. There were times when I was quite underweight (even then, I was still attracted to plus-sized and super-sized women.) I also suffer from schizophrenia among other mental conditions which are well controlled with my medication and therapy but hinder me from living what most would consider a normal life. If that wasn’t enough, I also have a back injury that I sustained whilst falling down some stairs in 2014 but thank God my reproductive organs weren’t adversely affected. I wasn’t always like this, I used to be skinny and there was a time, before age seventeen where I had some of the symptoms still, but they weren’t as full-blown. I used to also have a very strong back as well. Ever since positively the age of fifteen, but earlier than that, I have been madly attracted to plus-sized and super-sized members of the opposite sex, but I kept quiet about it. I first admitted this to others at age sixteen, but only to people whom I trusted. From ages seventeen to eighteen, I started telling more people. By the age of nineteen, I was completely public about it. Over the years, some people gave me kudos and some people think I am perverted. For those that give me kudos, thank you, your kind words mean plenty. For those that think I am perverted, I’ll say there are much worse body types to be attracted to.

Whenever I see a plus-sized or super-sized woman, though, it’s as if fireworks go off in my mind and then all logic goes out the door. I find those body types to be so beautiful. The soft belly, the thick legs, the ample sized buttocks and breasts along with a pretty face will make me smile from ear to ear and feel such giddiness in my heart. I remember them for years to come too. When I see a skinny or toned and muscular woman, my mind and body don’t have that reaction. In fact, I barely notice her, unless she was an unusually nice person, then maybe I would remember her.

…Enough about me…

My message, I guess, to all the plus-sized and super-sized women out there is that you don’t have to settle for less. I know all too well, unfortunately, that many of you go with men who either cheat on you, abuse you or berate you in some way shape or form and you stay with these men because you think you cannot do better. But, the truth is, you can do so much better and there are a lot of men out there who will treat you wonderfully and love you immensely for both your heart as well as your body. A lot of these men are very much better than I am in fact. When you find one of these men, please appreciate him and reciprocate his affections or his love for you could very well grow cold.

I know what happens though, when many of you find a man like this, you go straight into panic mode or you callously brush off his kind words and affections. Why do you get extremely nervous or callous when someone is so good to you? Please answer me, I’ll wait.

I know some of you get upset and withdraw because some of these men are indeed clingy, but these men are clingy only because they want you so badly and they value you enough to spend as much time with you as possible. As long as they don’t harm you in any way, please be grateful that they are willing to devote so much to you. We all have flaws, so if he’s a good man and he treats you like the queen you are, please don’t break his heart. Just be gentle and patient with him. Would you rather be truly lonely or worse in a truly abusive relationship? Please answer me, I’ll wait.

It may seem like I am talking down to all of you at this point, but I guess I am frustrated because of the hurt I experienced, not only from my exes but other plus-sized and super-sized women who were not so nice to me, despite all of the affections and kindness I showed towards them. But I am not [intentionally] talking down to you. If anything, I am trying to empower you and let you know that you are immensely worthy to be loved.

I have witnessed relationships that some plus-sized and super-sized women have with their boyfriends or husbands where they are indeed loved, cherished and adored very much. It makes me exceedingly joyful to witness such a thing and my true wish for all of you is to find a love like that and please don’t ever settle for anything less. You deserve the very best, despite what society tries to dictate about body types. When you do find a good man who is attracted and devoted to you, appreciate him and be good to him as well. He is only human, he is not God, which means he can stop loving you if you don’t treat him right, even though at some point he adores the ground you walk on. Also, because he is only human, this means that he is not perfect, he too will have faults at some point or another.

As for me, I just hope I can find a plus-sized or preferably a super-sized young lady with a kind heart and a pretty face of whom I can cherish, honor and shower with love and affection to and who will reciprocate that love and affection to me. Maybe somehow we could make a life together?…

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Body Shaming: Cruel, Unneccessary and Obsolete

Body Shaming is not only Cruel, but it’s also Unnecessary and Obsolete…

Yes, body shaming still does happen. It is cruel. It is cruel, but even today it still happens. I guess it happens because everyone wants to serve the big conformity machine that tells us what we all should look like. It also implies that anyone with a less than perfect body is for whatever reason lazy and a slob. This piece will explain why that is not exactly true and that I would venture to guess that most who are overweight are that way through little or no fault of their own.

Body shaming is Unnecessary:

The reason being is that body shaming because is unnecessary is that many times the person who is being targeted is overweight through no fault of his or her own. There could be any number of factors that caused this person’s weight gain:

Maybe the person has some sort of medical condition that requires him/her to take prescription medications. More often than not, a side effect of those medications is indeed weight gain. The victim didn’t ask to be this way but maybe needs these medications to function or survive. People who need medications take them for either a physical or mental condition that sometimes incurs harassment in and of itself.

In the case of a child; Maybe he/she comes from a low-income household and cannot afford to eat healthily. Instead, the family purchases foods that offer the most calories per dollar. That child certainly didn’t ask to be born into this world. It’s bad enough that people in lower-income brackets get harassed or at least looked down upon anyway, so when they are overweight as well it makes their existence extra miserable.

Maybe the victim sustained sexual trauma as a child or adolescent. From what I’ve seen, such a painful experience can throw all kinds of hormones and glands out of calibration and indeed cause weight gain. I know there are still some people are very cruel and would pick on someone who has been through such a cruel experience, but it is really low to do such a thing.

And maybe, just maybe, for no other reason, this victim could just have thyroid issues. This is where the person’s ability to burn calories is either non-existent or extremely hindered.

So these are the reasons why it is unnecessary to engage in body shaming and if one still does then he or she is a very cruel person.

Now I’m going to explain why it is obsolete (and should have been a long time ago.)

If any overweight girls or ladies may be reading this, pay close attention. I don’t know whether to call it a perversion or just a mere sexual presence, but there are many decent guys out there who find overweight/obese women and girls to be highly attractive. A lot of these guys are decent, kind-hearted men and boys who will treat any overweight woman or girl with respect, but he’ll most definitely want to love her deeply and show his love to her physically. He will adore her and do his best to make her happy. He will sweep you off your feet if you let him. Please make sure that any sexual contact happens only between consenting adults or only with all parental approval in the case of one or both parties being minors. Girls and ladies if you indeed come across such a man or boy, keep him and appreciate him. Don’t let his excessive affections go to your head and thus you become spoiled. Although, he might indeed try to spoil you more. Whatever you do, don’t take him for granted. And for goodness sake, don’t cheat on him. If you do, he might one day find someone else to love him. He may have flaws, but likely he loves you very much, so don’t give up on him if he does.

Now, I’ve also been told that some ladies and girls find overweight men and boys attractive. Maybe they think that these guys are cute, sexy, smart, sweet, funny or maybe all of the above. I don’t know. But overweight boys and men, if you find such a girl or woman, be sure to keep her and appreciate her as well. Love her and make her feel special. If you indeed become intimate with her, don’t let the confidence go to your head and start sleeping with others, because all you will do is break the heart of someone who might have genuinely loved you. Remember how lonely you were before her? Realize the good she had done for you and be sure to do everything in your power to keep her. Again, I cannot stress it enough, make sure any sexual contact happens between consenting adults or at least with the parents’ explicit approval in the case of one or both parties being a minor.

So yes there are those out who indeed find that overweight/obese people of the opposite sex are powerfully attractive. As a matter of fact, I am one of them! Ever since my early-to-mid-teens, I have felt this way. I wholeheartedly believe that a chubby woman with a pretty face and a soft body is extremely beautiful. In my book, such a woman is one of God’s most beautiful creations! I know other boys and men who believe the very same. For that reason, I would dare say that body-shaming is also obsolete. Of course, there are lovers of all shapes and sizes, but the chubby chaser movement is gaining considerable traction in recent years!

On an added note, I must admit this. Sometimes, being overweight/obese is unhealthy. If you are in love with someone who is overweight/obese and his/her physician orders weight loss, help them in doing so. Because if your love for him/her has grown beyond a physical attraction, you will want them no matter what and you will want that person to live by your side for as many years as possible…

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An Excerpt from “Bohemian America”

I began writing this in the final days of February 2020.  I was inspired to write it by listening to NPR and later, I took a long bath and it started coming to me.  It is about a young violinist named Alexandra Barbu who chance meets and subsequently falls in love with a tortured visual artist named Carlisle Snowden.  They are both troubled, but somehow they manage to bring out the best in each other.  I haven’t gotten that far with it and there are many parts that I cannot publically show with a good conscience.  However, the story of how they meet is quite appropriate so I will be sharing it in this piece.

Here is it without further ado:

…Alexandra rolled her eyes and then left with her uncle.

They walked out of the abandoned building and into his single cab older GMC truck.

“I know that those in your band smoke that dope. I better not find out that you smoke dope or I will kick you out of my house.”

“No, I don’t smoke dope. I’m already fat and if I smoke dope, I’ll likely get fatter and have wrinkles as well.”

“Well, the fact that you are fat means you will never make it in the music industry. So you should go back to school or get a real job like everyone else.”

Alexandra was getting angry, but kept calm and concealed it, saying, “I don’t know, what about Meghan Trainor?”

“I never heard of her,” Her uncle replied.

“That figures, otherwise you wouldn’t have made that ignorant statement.”

“Watch that attitude young lady, you will never be too old for me to backhand you.”

“That’s where you are wrong. If you lay a single finger on me, I will press charges.”

“How dare you! You are riding in my vehicle and staying under my roof and you would press charges on me after all your aunt and I did for you.” There was a tense silence but then he continued, “You know what, give me your money, you owe me for food and rent!”

“I need that money to keep my phone turned on so I can keep in touch with my band,” Alexandra protested.

“Well, that’s too bad. Now give me your money or you can find somewhere else to stay.”

“You’re such a jerk!”

“No, you just need a dose of reality, big time! Now give me your money…”

“I’ll speak to my aunt first,” Alexandra said, pulling out her phone.

“If you call her you can get out right now.”

“Then put me down right here. I’ve had enough of you anyway.”

“Fine, have it your way. Now get out!”

Alexandra unbuckled her seat belt, opened the door and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

Her uncle then flung her violin in its case out the door then said, “And take that stupid instrument with you!”

An artist was standing on the sidewalk painting a portrait of children playing in the sunset and the flying violin knocked down his easel and ruined his painting.

The artist shouted sarcastically, “Thanks a lot you big stupid jerk!”

Alexandra’s uncle sped away.

“Oh, yeah, that’s right. Drive off like the coward you are.” The artist shouted again.

The artist had a look of crushing defeat on his face.

He sat on the steps of his building in a semi fetal position and rocked himself back and forth.

Alexandra walked up to him and said, “I’m so sorry and you are right he is indeed a jerk and a coward.” She set the easel upright then picked up the brushes and jars of paint.

An elderly black lady came outside and said, “Carlisle, I heard you shouting what happened, baby?”

Alexandra spoke up and told her, “It’s partially my fault, ma’am. My uncle was driving me to his house but we had an argument and he kicked me out of his truck. He then threw my violin out as well and it knocked this young man’s easel down and ruined his painting.”

“Well, I’m going to have to call the police then, people can’t just be abandoning minors on a city street.”

“But, I’m not a minor. I’m actually twenty-going-on-twenty-one,” Alexandra said, then continued, “But I do, however, have no place to go.”

The artist spoke, “Wow, I thought I had issues. I’m very blessed compared to you! My name is Carlisle Snowden by the way.”

“You are blessed, Carlisle and your blessings will continue as long as you be a blessing to others. Just remember to keep taking that medicine, keep letting your light of kindness shine to others around you and keep painting those beautiful pictures!” The elderly black lady said.

“It’s nice to meet both of you, I’m Alexandra Barbu.”

The elderly black lady answered her, “You can call me Mother Nellie. I look out for the whole neighborhood and I pray for everybody.” She paused and then said, “Something tells me there was a reason that both of you met.”

Carlisle’s face grew very serious as he looked at her and said, “Mother Nellie, if you’re suggesting what I think you’re suggesting, I believe Alexandra is a bit too young for me.”

“Child, age is just a number. Besides, I know how lonely you are and how you’ve been praying that the Lord send you someone special. She just might be the answer to your prayers! I know you’re one of the few white men in the neighborhood and she is also white. I’m very aware of the racial tension that exists, so I think you and her would be perfect together! While I think mixed babies are beautiful, I know they receive a lot of ill-treatment in this cruel world.”

“You don’t look that old anyway,” Alexandra said.

“I just made thirty-four,” Carlisle replied.

“Wow. I thought you would have been twenty-two or twenty-three, twenty-five, tops. I mean, you are very cute!”

“Well, thanks. I get that a lot. But, see, I’m probably too old for you.”

“What if I told you that I’m very mature for a twenty-going-on-twenty-one-year old and I do like older guys?!”

“I don’t know. You are very pretty and you seem sweet, but I have a lot of reverence for you and…”

“You’re making me blush! It’s a good thing though if you have reverence for me, that means you would treat me well.”

“Yes, that’s true, I suppose.”

“We also have a lot in common, I mean we’re both artists in our own respects. I bet I could play my violin while you paint and inspire you to create some beautiful portraits or I could study your previous paintings and be inspired to play some beautiful music.”

“Come to think of that, as Mother Nellie said, I have been praying that the Lord send me a significant other, and I would want my relationship with her to have exactly those attributes. Maybe age is just a number after all.”

“Well, duh, silly!” Alexandra replied, then continued soberly, “But am I too fat for you, though?”

“As I said before, I think you’re very pretty, weight included! And more importantly, you have a beautiful heart and a brilliant mind!”

“You’re making me blush even more, but I feel so giddy!”

“I can see you blushing and I think it’s adorable! I’d like to kiss you where you are blushing, but I don’t want to overstep my bounds.”

“Aw, that is so sweet. By the way, you wouldn’t be overstepping your bounds. I’d want you to kiss me. In fact, come here and kiss me right now!”

Carlisle walked off the steps and onto the sidewalk.

Mother Nellie said, “I’ll leave you two alone.” She then went inside.

Alexandra grabbed Carlisle then pulled him to her. She wrapped her arms around him and placed her hands on his buttocks. Carlisle gently held Alexandra by her love handles then kissed both her cheeks. She smiled sweetly, then closed her eyes and pecked him on the lips. He pecked her lips in return. Their lips then locked and their mouths sucked and pressed on each other. Then Alexandra buried her face in Carlisle’s chest and he kissed her forehead.

The sun began to set and the Mercury began to drop.

Carlisle and Alexandra began to shiver.

“I can take you up to my apartment if you wish,” Carlisle said.

“Of course. Where else would I go?”

“I’m just making sure. You know I revere you.”

“I know. You’re very sweet!”

Carlisle then picked up his art supplies and opened the building entrance door for Alexandra…

Contact Me

Back to “Works of Fiction”

A Review of the Leatherman Wingman Multi-Tool

Just for the record, I do not own the featured image on this page, rather it is the property of Leatherman Tool Group, Inc.

I have been fascinated by tools and gadgets since my mid-childhood. I bought my first multi-tool at the age of nineteen (March 2006.) It was a Winchester and one of the very many Leatherman knock offs. I’ve also carried Gerber and Garrity multi-tools.

I bought my first “real” Leatherman, a Kick model, in January of 2010 as a birthday present to myself. That Leatherman Kick was what I was EDCing on my wedding day. Because that marriage was very faulty, I don’t like to be reminded of it and therefore I sold that particular Leatherman tool of mine at some point in late 2019 or early 2020. I wish wouldn’t have sold my Leatherman Kick, because it is now a discontinued model. For those of you who criticize me for being a divorced Christian let me just say that I bent over backward to make that marriage work, but after years of all sorts of abuse and neglect I suffered, not to mention frequent harassment from her family members, I gave up. I never once hit my then-wife now ex-wife and I never cheated on her either, though many times I was very tempted to cheat. I have since forgiven her and I’m only mentioning this as a teaching tool.

In the Fall of 2017, I purchased a Leatherman Style CS, second hand, but eventually sold it.

In February of 2018, I purchased a Leatherman Style PS, misplaced it and purchased a duplicate one in May of 2018 and I still EDC it to this day. It is featured in many of my selfies, usually clipped to the belt loop on my pants. I even wrote a review about it last year.

Earlier this month, I purchased a second hand Leatherman Micra.

Now, let me tell you, the reader, about my latest Leatherman, a Wingman, which I recently purchased and the story behind it.

I’ve wanted a Leatherman Wingman since it first came on the market in 2011 or 2012.

At the time I was married and definitely could not justify spending $30 for a multi-tool. But, oh man, did I ever want one!

I think most of all because a former coworker who was recently divorced in 2011 and had wanted me to be his wingman while he would frequent the bar rooms. As a Christian, I felt totally out of place in a bar room, but I didn’t mind drinking the very light amounts of excellent beer (for the taste, not the buzz) as well as eating the Buffalo Chicken and gourmet pizza, all on my friend’s dime. He’s now happily remarried and I can take some partial credit in that because I helped him set up his dating profile online in addition to being his wingman.

Anyway, I first saw a Leatherman Wingman at my local Academy Sports and Outdoors. When I got home, I did some reading on the said multi-tool and was thoroughly impressed. However, I was more focused at the time on buying budget-friendly (but name brand) flashlights because I always liked flashlights and entry-level scanners along with their accessories for my foaming hobby.

My EDC at the time consisted of either a Pelican MityLite 1900 (Xenon) or 1960 (LED), a 3 D sized Maglite (Krypton), a Klein Electrician’s knife, a Radio Shack Pro-404 and later a Mini Maglite (Xenon) along with a TI Math Explorer calculator. That was 2012 and incandescent flashlights were still in the mainstream market.

Fast forward to 2018-2020, I enjoyed my Leatherman Style PS very much and EDCed it continuously. I had a Sunday School teacher from May of 2018 until October of 2019 who also carried Leatherman tools on him, but his Leatherman tools were higher-end models than mine.

Starting in early December of 2019, I was footloose and fancy-free which meant that I didn’t have to answer to any significant other about what I had purchased. So I began to revisit the idea of purchasing a long wanted Leatherman Wingman

In January of 2020, I started going to my current church.

Now, Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior commands me not to brag about my love offerings and the only reason why I will in this piece because I find it to be a powerful testimony, otherwise, I would keep this to myself:
I do set aside a little cash each month to spend on myself for enjoyment, after my tithe, rent, utilities, credit cards, and debt management program are paid. In February of 2020, I was looking at eBay and discovered that gently used Leatherman Wingman tools were selling for $25 on there. I was planning on using that extra money to purchase a gently used Leatherman Wingman the following March. Then I was sitting in church one Sunday in late February 2020 and we were asked to consider giving to the building fund. God spoke to me right then and there and He told me to use that $25 for the building fund. He went on to say that if I did so, He would provide me with the funds for a brand new Leatherman Wingman instead of a used one. Because of some factors unknown to me, the MSRP for a brand new Leatherman Wingman is no longer $30 but $60. But I made a leap of faith and when I received my disability pension for March of 2020, I gave $18 of the $25 to the building fund. I needed to get some groceries with the other $7. Later this month I unexpectantly came into a decent sum of money, which allowed me to pay off the court fees for my divorce among other things. I also gave the remaining $7 of the $25 I promised God to the building fund as well as another 10% of the sum I recently received to my church. And of course, on March 17, 2020, I went to Lowe’s and purchased a brand new Leatherman Wingman and I own it free and clear! God did for me just as He had promised and He went above and beyond for me!

I’ve been so excited to share this testimony!

Now that I have shared it, I will write my review on the Leatherman Wingman:

This will be mostly my initial reaction because I have only owned it for about two days.

Let me first say that it is everything I hoped it would be.

It feels very comfortable but equally solid in my hand.

I dig the shiny finish.

The pants pocket clip is very sturdy and secure.

The spring action for the pliers and wire cutter implements are highly robust!

The nice clicking sound it makes while lining and locking the implements in place is very reassuring of how well it is made!

The Leatherman Wingman generously features 14 tools in 1:

I have commented on the implements that I have used since purchasing this awesome tool.

01. Spring-action Needlenose Pliers.
02. Spring-action Regular Pliers.
03. Spring-action Wire Cutters-I’ve tried these out on twigs and branches and they cut fairly decently, especially on drier pieces I’ve cut.
04. Wire Stripper.
05. 420 HC Combo Knife-This is both serrated and straight-edged and I must say the sharpness is almost on par with that of a Victorinox blade.
06. Spring-action Scissors-For these to work properly, the implement must be line and locked completely out, but it works very well.
07. Package Opener.
08. 1.5 inch/3.8 centimeter Ruler.
09. Can Opener-I wish the can opener design would be more like that of Victorinox, but maybe that would result in patent infringement?
10. Bottle Opener.
11. Wood/Metal File.
12. Phillips Screwdriver
13. Medium [Flat Head] Screwdriver.
14. Small [Flat Head] Screwdriver.

My only complaint thus far is the can opener because it isn’t as smoothly operated as what I usually use which is the can opener implement on a Victorinox Swiss Army Knife.

I know I’ve only owned it a couple of days, so maybe it will eventually wear out due to fatigue, but I plan to keep it and cherish it as a reminder of how my God blesses me and what just a little bit of faith will accomplish.

If I had my way, I would keep it on me at all times, but I must follow the laws of the land as a Christian, so therefore I will only carry it where I am legally allowed to do so.

Let me just say that weapons carrying ordnances won’t stop someone who wants to cause harm and may allow him or her to cause even more harm. We don’t have a weapon problem but we do indeed have a heart problem. Anyway, I wouldn’t want to use this as a weapon, to begin with, I see it more as a cool tool that happens to have two sharp blades on it, of which I could take or leave. But, I get it, the very concept that brought forth Leatherman tools, to begin with, was to have a pair of pliers with a knife on it and it was a multi-million dollar idea (maybe even in the billions now if we consider all of the knockoffs and copycats made globally.)

All in all, I give the Leatherman Wingman a 4.95 out of 5 stars, because the can opener implement is not what I am used to.

This, therefore, concludes my review of the Leatherman Wingman.

I hope you, the reader, have been informed, entertained and maybe even a little enlightened.

Thank you for reading!

Back to “Product Reviews”

Childhood Memories

I do indeed have a sharp childhood memory. As a matter of fact, I can recall events that occurred even in my infancy.

I don’t know if my memory is so sharp and vivid because of the mental conditions of which I am afflicted or if it is because my Mom took lots of pictures during those days and frequently showed them to me. Most likely it is a combination of these two factors.

My powerful memory is both a blessing and a curse as I can vividly recall both the pleasant as well at the abhorrent memories throughout my life. I get flashbacks from all points of my life at least several times a week and many times much more frequently than that.

In my very early childhood, my parents would bring me to visit my Maternal Grandmother weekly. She resided in the New Orleans suburb of Metairie. Many times we would go into the City of New Orleans itself because of the many attractions it has to offer. One of my earliest memories is riding in the car with my parents on Magazine Street where it transitions between Uptown and Downtown. It was a sunny day in the mid to late afternoon when both the sun and the moon were up. I didn’t know it was Magazine Street until over twenty years later when I was riding on there with my now ex-wife and her sister. The amazing thing is the sky conditions were almost identical to that day in my infancy and the flashback happened. I, however, had that flashback several times in my childhood while playing on the playground in grade school. This happened the first time in Pre Kindergarten but occurred again in Third Grade. Again, it was always on sunny days in the mid to late afternoon when both the sun and moon were up.

For whatever reason, Blue Jays would frequent my Maternal Grandmother’s neighborhood in Metairie, Louisiana. Those particular avians make a distinctive sound when they call. I didn’t realize it was a Blue Jay that made that particular sound until my early thirties. I was in the neighborhood of which I grew up, visiting family, and I heard that ever so familiar bird sound, so I hurried outside to see if I could find out what type of bird made that sound. I then saw a Blue Jay perched in a Sweet Olive tree making that sound and I finally knew what type of bird made that sound. Currently, I have a crow call as the sound effect of which I use when I get a text or email. However, now I think I will search for a Blue Jay sound effect to use for my text alert since I associate it with that neighborhood. But right now I need to focus on getting this into text. Anyway, I heard that Blue Jay sound throughout my childhood and I always associated that sound with my Maternal Grandmother’s neighborhood. You, the reader, can just about guess how tickled pink I was when I found out about the “City Bird” ringtone that was featured on most Nokia phones in my teens and very early twenties. That ringtone indeed triggered the memory and was quite fitting!

Both my Maternal Grandmother’s house and the school I attended in childhood were within earshot of a mainline railroad line. In the case of my Grandmother’s house, it was Illinois Central then later Candian National DBA Illinois Central. As for the school, it was Southern Pacific, but then later Burlington Northern Santa Fe` after the Union Pacific-Southern Pacific merger. Because trains run every day and night, I was frequently woken up by trains when sleeping at my grandma’s house. At school, we would hear the trains going through Raceland on days when it was neither too hot nor cold to run the climate controls and therefore the teacher would open the windows. One day in either 1996 or 1997, my teacher pointed out the sound of the train whistle and I commented about my Grandmother’s house in Metairie. I had been highly interested in trains as a very young child, but the interest went away at some point. It briefly came back at the age of 16 but didn’t come back fully until I was 24. Talking about all of this makes me want to go on a foaming trip and I indeed would if I had a more reliable vehicle and money for gasoline. I haven’t gone foaming to say foaming at all in all of 2020 as of March 16, though I do listen to railroad traffic on my scanners a couple of times out of the week.

In sixth and seventh grade I and a few other students would do enrichment while most of the other students would go to band class. One of the activities we did was play educational games on the computer. There was one game, in particular, Math for the Real World. It was about a traveling band that would raise money by the player solving math problems. There was a diner in that game which the band would always stop at and the waitress spoke in a heavy Brooklyn/New Orleans Y’at accent. The waitress would always say, “Park it there, doll!” Of course, I think it would have been much funnier if the waitress would have said, “Park is there, dahlin!” It always reminded me of how the white people from New Orleans talked and I got a kick out of it. By the way, the reason why the white people from New Orleans sound like the white people from Brooklyn, according to a former neighbor of mine is that the overwhelming majority of the white children in New Orleans attended Catholic schools and spoke no English natively. Well, a detachment of nuns from Brooklyn went down to New Orleans to teach in those Catholic schools and they taught them how to speak English but in the Brooklyn dialect. So, that is the theory I accept as to why white people from New Orleans sound like white people from Brooklyn. This also is a factor in my very unique accent. I only know of one other young man who sounds like me and he grew up in a similar linguistic environment. My Mom is from the New Orleans area of Louisiana but my Dad is from Cajun/Bayou Country. I grew up in Cajun/Bayou Country but in my Mom’s younger days, she still sounded much like a Y’at. I grew up hearing both of my parents talk and I sound like a combination of both of them. In grade school, I was told a time or two that I don’t sound Cajun like the rest of the students. Another time I was at a grocer in Mississippi and I was asked if I was from up north. Another time I was at a KFC in Northeast Texas and two black gentlemen said they could tell I was from Louisiana by how I spoke but they assumed I was Creole, which to my knowledge I am not. I get it, I don’t sound like the rest of those around me. I’m self-conscious of my voice and therefore I blog instead of getting on YouTube. I think I have a better command of the written word than the spoken word though, so it works out for the best. Anyway, there was a song in that computer game known as “Are We There Yet?” and it describes the electrical, chemical and mechanical processes of how an automobile functions. That was my favorite song track on that game when I played it because, at the time, I was highly fascinated by how cars worked but came from a very non-mechanical family. So I never got to work on them growing up and at this point in my life, I am extremely nervous with cars. Electricity doesn’t phase me, but I am careful. HVAC doesn’t phase me (that’s my only formal training.) And computers do not phase me because I taught myself how to work on them. But I won’t attempt to work on a car except for very minor repairs. I also went to schools, at least until I got to trade school, where blue-collar trade work was looked down upon.

I wish I could continue to write, but my head is pounding at the moment. I want to seek medical attention for these headaches because they are getting more and more frequent. However, I am afraid that seeking medical attention will result in more harm than good at this point, because of this gosh durn Coronavirus going around. I’ll just ask my brothers and sisters in Christ to pray for me and hopefully, soon I can revisit this subject and if I do, I will post it.

I guess this, therefore, concludes my piece on childhood memories though I wish I could have gone into more details than I did.

I still thank you for reading and hope you, the reader, have been informed and entertained.

May God richly bless you!

Back to “Personal Reflections”