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My First Love

I was but four years old, the very first time I had fallen in love if one could call it that. This girl had the biggest impact on my life, more than probably anyone else with whom I crossed paths, aside from Jesus Christ.

Only those very close to me know this fact and many others assume, that my first love was a girl two years my junior whom I met in September of 1994 and lived up the street from me. I was with her from ages seven to nine.

The reality is, I met my first love some time early in 1991.

It was while attending a church nursery and/or preschool in the railroad town of Schriever, Louisiana.

This was a very rough time in my life, but this girl was so sweet to me, that I couldn’t help but fall for her, even though I was so young.

The reason why my life was rough at this time is that my brother and sister were infants and my parents didn’t have much time for me. I guess I took this hard because before this I was an only child. The other reason is that someone tied to my family was frequently beating the living daylights out of me. I have since forgiven him for beating me and am only bringing it up in this piece because it contributed to this traumatic part of my childhood. I was also special needs but no one at the time realized it.

I was sent to this church every Monday and Tuesday so I could interact with children around my age. To tell the truth, I hated going there, even though it was the only place I saw her.

She and I were always the first two children to arrive in the morning, so that is how we grew “close.”

There was also something about her, even though she was maybe only a little older than me, that she could tell when I was in distress and always had a way of comforting me.

There was even a time I happened to see the man who was beating me while being driven to that preschool and had my first of many panic attacks as a result.

When I arrived, Kristen saw that I was upset and somehow, she managed to calm me down.

There were numerous other times as well when she comforted me, though the only phrase I ever remember her saying is “Don’t worry.”

I ended up falling for her because of her kind heart, but also I thought she was beautiful.

She had porcelain skin, brown eyes, and light brown hair.

She frequently wore either blue and pink dresses. I don’t think I ever remember seeing her wear pants or shorts, which makes me wonder if she was raised in the United Pentecostal Church International or a fragmented church with similar doctrine. This church, by the way, was not UPCI or a non-denominational/fragmented church. Some of those churches strictly enforce dress codes, especially for women and girls, and also frequently teach their members to be reclusive from society and could be the reason why I have not seen her again.

Then in July of 1991, I would be taken out of the church preschool. Unfortunately, I would attend a far worse place for the next nearly ten years.

I remember the day I left very well. She crawled up to hug me goodbye, but I turned her down for fear of being teased.

That probably hurt her feelings immensely and I still regret it almost 30 years later at the time of writing this.

This was one of the worst mistakes of my life and if I had my life to live over, I would somehow have found a way to stay in touch with her, knowing what I know now.

To my knowledge, I’ve never seen her again.

The one time I think I might have seen her was on Easter Sunday, April 11, 2004, at the Wal-Mart in Thibodaux, Louisiana, but this is strictly speculation.

Since 2001, I’ve been trying to locate her and over the years I have asked hundreds if not thousands of women and girls with her first name if they were indeed her. None of them have ever told me “yes.” Many of them never replied, to begin with. Unfortunately a few have blocked me, for nothing more than asking an honest and harmless question. I feel as if people have become extremely block happy in recent years.

In 2004 and 2005, I went back to that church to look for her and did come across a couple of classmates since then but none of them remember her. Pay close attention to that fact!

Because her first name is Kristen, that means there are numerous methods to spell it and I am nowhere near sure of the exact spelling. This on top of not knowing her middle or last name nor even what year she was born in has made locating her all the more difficult.

This is the first time I am 100% public about this very personal story in my life, previously, I’ve only told people whom I deeply trust and I’ve gotten mixed reactions ranging from them thinking I am delusional to them thinking that she and I are indeed meant to be and to not give up on finding her one day.

While I was going through a divorce, I had renewed efforts in trying to locate her.

My main fear is that with me going public with this personal story, there will be some imposters that show up, which is why I have left out the details of exactly which church in Schriever, Louisiana, I met her at or the names of the teachers and other classmates, all of which I vividly remember.

I’ve come across several other classmates from that preschool and nursery, over the years, but the most shocking thing is none of them remember her at all.

I know some would maybe think that she was an angel that only I or maybe a few others could see.

The only reason why I wonder whether or not she’s an angelic being that only I could see is that I remember the teacher saying her name.

BOMBSHELL: She is the truest reason why I decided to start writing back on April 10, 2003. I used my memories of Kristen for most of my inspiration in my early days of writing.

There had been other women and girls who had inspired me to create characters and there had been some young ladies who reminded me of characters I created.

Unfortunately, I got into a relationship with a young woman which resulted in marriage and then ultimately divorce. The relationship lasted from 2007 to 2018.

Around 2014, I started searching for Kristen again, but to no avail. In that year, I also started writing stories again with her as my inspiration. Several of them are up on my blog.

In the latter parts of 2018, I stopped searching altogether, because I had entered into a very loving and stable relationship with a young lady that looked like a younger yet grown-up version of Kristen. Also, I took the fact that she was born in 1991 as a sign that she was the one. Unfortunately, on December 4/5, 2019, she called it quits on me. I was crushed but am finally starting to heal from it. I had gotten into a few brief relationships since but I always ended them for one reason or another.

A certain part of me wants to find her and find out whatever happened to her. Then my delusional self would either try to get to know her and maybe we could fall in love again or at least find out where she is now and let her know the impact she had on my life because it is a tremendous one, then wish her the best. I’ve also come to terms that she could be deceased and if that is the case, I want to visit her burial site and pay great homage and reverence to her. If she is still alive, romantically available and we meet again and get to know each other, physical features such as her size or facial beauty will not matter to me. Almost everyone who knows me knows that I am only attracted to plus-sized and/or super-sized women with pretty faces, but for her, I would try to pursue her no matter what she looked like. Also, nothing in her past would matter to me either, I would take her for who she is because I would remember how kind to me she was back then. For her, I could relax just about all of my standards. I do realize though that this is just a fantasy and that I need to move on.

Since 2014, I have been mentally creating stories of her and I together again after she helps me make a daring escape from some terrible people that had me captive. Because 2021 is the thirtieth anniversary of her and I meet, I may write down some of these stories. By the way, in my mind, they always took place in the year 2021! Possibly stay tuned. There is only one I wrote and did so in February of 2018.

Just for the record, I no longer think she and I are meant to be. The Lord has been showing me what my future spouse will be like and, she is similar in some ways but younger and nowhere near as maternal (for lack of a better word) towards me, though still very loving and affectionate. Also, with me being the male sex, God expects me to do [most of] the protecting and comforting not the other way around, so this is probably the main reason why he hasn’t allowed me to find her, assuming she is not an angel. At the risk of sounding unpopular, God indeed has established certain gender roles! Don’t shoot the messenger…

That’s all I have, for now, thank you for taking the time to read.

Back to “Personal Reflections”

A Christian Couple Evacuating from a Hurricane

I had been thinking of writing something like this throughout the summer of 2021. There are factors from my life that inspired part of this, but it is mainly a work of fiction. I used the likeness of what I think a very nice future spouse would be like as inspiration for this story.

Without further ado, here is the story:

…Late Summer…

…Wednesday Morning…:

We are woken up by our weather radio and notified that our whole area is now under a Hurricane Warning.

I’ve been monitoring this situation for days and am not surprised at all.

The weather radio mentions our parish as being under a mandatory evacuation.

At once we kiss, use the bathroom, then get ready.

My wife and I have been married for almost nine months and we make each other incredibly happy.

In fact, we are so happy with each other, that we are not worried about how our trailer may be destroyed in this storm, just as long as we can still be together.

This is the second marriage for both of us and my prayer is that this is also the final marriage for both of us, because she fits my standards perfectly. She tells me how I am the answer to her prayers. Both of our previous marriages were quite faulty, but this is one of the reasons why we fit together so well.

I am thirty-five and she is twenty-nine, but we often pretend that she is nineteen and I am twenty-five!

At once, we pack.

I get my SwissGear EDC backpack and fill it with all that I usually carry plus all the gifts my wife gave me and any extra supplies that I may need.

She gets the SwissGear overnight bag that I gave her as a birthday gift and fills it with her valuables and other gifts I gave her.

We then get our SwissGear rolling suitcase and pack our clothes in it. I place my favorite tee shirts and pants in there, she places her favorite blouses and skirts in there. We both also place our undergarments and toiletries in there. I take several boxes of Little Debbie Doughnut Sticks, two jars of Community Instant Coffee and Chicory, and placed them in our oversized reusable shopping bag. I place our milk into several used water bottles along with my carton of Great Value Half ‘N’ Half and place them in my Igloo Playmate Cooler. I get my G. E. Superadio and she grabs our fireproof box containing all of our important papers and other valuables. We load up her white Dodge Caravan, pray over our property then head out.

She takes the wheel and I navigate.

I hold her hand the entire time.

We pray together and reassure each other how God is in control.

Two-hundred-seventy-five miles later inland, we pull into a truck stop for some fuel. She parks by a pump and I pay with my credit card, then fill up her van.

I then buy us each a bottle of Lipton Brisk Tea and a prepackaged turkey breast sandwich.

We park by an outside table, say grace then eat.

A tall gentleman notices us praying over our food, then asks us if we are evacuees.

We tell him how we indeed are.

He explains how his pastor is volunteering his church as a shelter and we should come there.

We agree then exchange contact information.

Then we eat our meal, and head to the church.

We park, then unload our clothes and food.

Immediately, we are welcome with open arms.

After being assigned our spot, we begin to fellowship with those in the church.

My wife assists the women with keeping watch over the children and I assist the men with cooking.

Despite, us being storm refugees, we are having a wonderful time.

We all eat a wonderful meal of spaghetti and meatballs, then we watch movies.

It’s now nightfall and several other evacuees wish to know what is going on back home, so I turn on my G. E. Superadio and can tune in to the AM stations back home. Several others are amazed by this as we all listen.

There are numerous reports of how conditions are starting to deteriorate and all lifelines are being cut off.

The pastor prays over us and we are comforted.

My wife and I then snuggle together, even though we are sleeping on a floor, we are so grateful to be together. She partially covers my body with hers and says, “You’re mine forever and no one else can have you, Mister!” I look up at her and shower her with kisses as I reply, “You’re the only one I want, so don’t ever worry, baby!” I pause then whisper, “But I think it’s very sexy when you act possessive of me!” She giggles and playfully smothers me with her breasts. I am powerfully turned on to her and she is equally turned on to me, but we realize not to cross the line with our affections since we’re not alone.

So she wraps us up in a blanket, then we fall asleep in each others’ arms, after exchanging many sweet kisses.

Thursday:
The next day, the pastor offers the church WiFi, so we’ll be able to conserve our mobile data.

I assist the elderly evacuees with connecting their iPhones and iPads through the church WiFi.

We learn how the storm is moving quickly through and that damage was minimal but all lifelines are still cut off. The storm’s remnant is forecast to go to the northeast of where are.

My wife continues to assist the ladies in watching the children and I continue to assist the men in cooking for everyone. Today I help them make Red Beans and Rice. I also show them how to make my version of ghetto punch.

We all eat together then watch movies, once again.

At night I tune in to our home stations and the reporters are saying how lifelines are being restored by we dodged a bullet for the most part.

Several people breathe a sigh of relief.

I call my pastor at home and check on him and his family. I then give him the contact information of the church where we are staying, in hopes that we can ally the two churches.

My wife and I then fall asleep together after having a war of kisses. We would be much more affectionate, but we are surrounded by many other people. How I long to fondle her thick love handles and caress her plump caboose, but I know I must be respectful of everyone around me! She giggles as she whispers to me, “Oh baby, how I wish I could pull your pants down!” We wrap our arms around each other and she sleeps partially on top of me as she says, whispering, “I don’t want you anywhere but underneath me and I cannot wait until we get home, Mister!”

Friday:
The next morning comes as we are slowly waking up. We are fed biscuits, fried eggs, and sausage patties that were donated from a local deli.

Gratefully, my wife and I say grace then eat.

I share my milk with the children since it will expire in a few days.

The church supplies me with ice for my Igloo Cooler.

The men at the church recruit me to cook with them once again saying how we need to make a very nice meal since the all-clear is about to be issued and many will go home without a hot meal for a while.

I describe to them my fried chicken recipe then they agree to make it.

Several of the men bring in fresh chicken, herbs and spices, and flour and oil.

I also tell them how some sweet peas and mashed potatoes would be good with that.

I prepare the chicken and the sweet peas, and another gentleman makes the mashed potatoes.

They also have me make my ghetto punch recipe once again.

We prepare a huge meal as my wife assists the ladies in watching the children.

Finally, we, serve the food, say grace then eat.

We then watch a movie until it is dark.

I tune in to our home station and learn how the all-clear will likely be issued sometime tomorrow and that, cell phones, natural gas, and tap water are restored, but cable and electricity will be up to a few days more.

The pastor prays a prayer of thanksgiving over all of us. Relieved, my wife and I exchange our affections until we fall asleep.

Saturday:
When morning comes, we are once again fed biscuits with fried eggs and sausage.

Happily, we eat.

I assist the men in cleaning everything up until the all-clear is issued.

We are instructed to go home and take care of ourselves and that if we are ever up here again, to come and visit them.

I give them my church’s contact information, then we lovingly bid farewell to each other.

The pastor prays over us for safe travels.

My wife and I load up her van, then we head back home.

Halfway through the trip, we fuel up and I buy us some more Lipton Brisk Tea and turkey breast sandwiches.

We arrive home in mid-afternoon, then survey our property.

There is no structural damage to our trailer, praise God!

My wife unloads her van and I clean up our yard.

Then I fix the skirting on our trailer.

I have a powerful craving for a hot cup of coffee and chicory along with some doughnut sticks.

Unbeknownst to me, my wife is preparing that very thing.

She comes outside and hands it to me.

I eat and drink, then ask, “What do I owe you, ma’am?”

“You know what I want, mister!” She replies as she teasingly lifts her skirt at me, revealing her white lace panties.

She then yanks me into our trailer, straight to the bedroom as we peel each others’ clothing off.

We pelt each other with kisses.

I then begin to kiss her neck, then her busty breasts, then her thick stomach then her nether regions between her creamy thighs as I unzip her skirt then remove her panties while she pulls down my pants and boxer briefs.

We make love with intense passion then cuddle in the sheets all night long.

Sunday:
The next morning, to which we are happily greeted with the electricity coming back on.

Fervently we praise God for taking care of us during that stressful time and also praise Him how He turned something meant for evil into something good. Subsequently, we get ready for church…

Yes.  I think it is clear that this marriage from which the narrator is describing is a rock solid marriage.  It could be close to the pinnacle of human love.  However, there exists a tremendously Greater Love and it is available to all who surrender to it.  The best part is that this love does not have all the stringent prerequisites of fleshly love.

Back to “A Christian Marriage”

A Review of the Texas Instruments TI-1795SV

Just to be clear, I do not own the featured image on this page. I downloaded it from Texas Instruments, converted it from a .png into a .jpg format, and am using it here.  Therefore, I give all credit whereupon credit is due!

It was a summer afternoon in July of 2009.

I was employed at a lumber yard and hardware store in Houma, LA.

I had gotten paid that day, so I drove to the Rite Aid on Saint Charles Street, which was a former drug store chain, to see what I could buy for myself.

Also, I was visiting that store, because my cousin, Douglas Foret, God rest his soul, was employed as a janitor there.

He worked many jobs over the course of his lifetime, and passed away on December 22, 2011, at the age of 80 going on 81.

He worked literally until a day before he died.

I always looked up to him and I enjoyed hearing his stories and making him laugh.

So, I took it very hard at his untimely passing.

And visiting him was my ulterior motive for going to Rite Aid.

He wasn’t there that day, but Rite Aid sold so much more than just prescription and over-the-counter drugs, so I browsed around.

Also, my then-fiancee`-now-ex-wife was recovering from a major shunt revision and I was worried about her. Yes during this point in my life, I did love her, I mean I wound up marrying her. So, I guess I needed some distraction in my life. Might I also add that she wasn’t as mean as she would become, although I was in for a rude awakening. It was that constant mistreatment that killed my love for her. I do admit that the bulk of her meanness is not her fault as she had another shunt malfunction shortly after we tied the knot. This caused brain damage and altered her personality for the worst. Also, believe it or not, couples becoming mean to each other after marriage is one of the curses that God placed on Adam and Eve, the husband becomes inconsiderate to the wife and the wife wants to control the husband. The Apostle Paul, while under the inspiration of The Holy Ghost instructed couples with the following and I will say it even though it is quite unpopular by modern standards. He commanded husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the Church and for wives to submit to their husbands, and that is the mitigation to that curse upon married couples! God has shown me what my future and true spouse will be like and I refuse to settle for anyone else.

There I saw some Hostess Twinkies, a pint bottle of Borden Milk, and a Texas Instruments TI-1795SV Calculator.  The third item is what this piece will be a review thereof.

As mentioned before, for almost as long as I had been fascinated by flashlights, I have also been interested in calculators. I’m pretty sure the interest stems from my mom teaching high school math and therefore needing a calculator to accurately grade her tests and I was usually nearby watching. There was another calculator of which I carried early on at that job, and I also purchased at Rite Aid, a Texas Instruments TI-503SV. It stood the requirements for a lumber yard hand’s job and I was thoroughly impressed by its ruggedness.

The only other time I had seen a TI-1795SV, was in the aftermath of hurricanes because the cash registers in stores were down because of no power, so the cashiers would use this calculator to accurately determine the sales tax of all purchases.

So, I wanted to try it out and therefore purchased it along with the milk and Twinkies.

I promptly ate the Twinkies and drank the milk.

Then I went home and tried out the calculator.

I was pretty impressed by the rugged construction, large keys, and angled clear display.

I even carried it a few times, usually, in whatever EDC backpack I was using.

Over twelve years later, I still have it, though it needs a new battery. However, it still works if there is an adequate source of ambient light available. I keep it in a box of calculators which I have collected over the years.

Below are some of the Key features (with my commentary in parentheses)
Well-spaced keyboard with large, contoured keys for easy operation (well thought of, especially for those of us with bigger fingers.)
Change sign (+/-) key simplifies entry of negative numbers (I don’t see why a cashier would need this function.)
Square root key is useful for schoolwork (I don’t see why a cashier would need this function either.)
Solar and battery powered to work anywhere (This is a great idea, although replacement batteries are hard to find.)
Angled display for easy viewing (This is perfect for a cashier/business setting.)

Might I add there are functions on this model to store the tax rate and easily apply it to the total, which is probably the main selling point. I’m not sure why Texas Instruments did not mention that on their website.

There are also memory and percentage functions available on this model.

Finally, there is also a dedicated battery door to change the battery without having to take the calculator apart-I think this should be an industry requirement for all calculators, actually. My unit requires a single 1.5 Volt LR54 button cell battery. I wish that type of battery was more widely available. However, I pulled it out of my box and put it near the window and it powered on perfectly.

As I mentioned before, I think those who get the most use out of this particular model of Texas Instruments calculator are cashiers when the power to their stores is out for an extended period. These were extensively in use after Hurricane Katrina and subsequent hurricanes, especially at gas stations and convenience stores.

That means that Texas Instruments Calculators do have practical use outside the classroom, as I have pointed out a time or two before!

I give this product a 5 out of 5 stars but I do wish the colors were slightly different.

The part that is Silver should either be black or grey, but that is just my opinion.

All in all, this, therefore, concludes my review of the Texas Instruments TI-1975SV.

I hope that you, the reader, have been informed, enlightened, and maybe even entertained.

May God richly bless you!

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Christmas in July-July 25, 2020

Look, just to be clear, I am not the owner of this image. However, it does provoke a considerable deal of emotion and inspiration from my heart! I promise you this Christmas in July piece will be more pleasant than the previous. All in all, I would imagine a young couple on Christmas Eve spending the entire night cuddling in that window seat. The young lady is cradling the young gentleman in her lap and he is looking up at her with powerful admiration. As they are holding each other and looking at the night sky, they are reading the love stories from the personal blog of yours, truly, to each other. Each story they read causes them to exchange more caresses and kisses. Finally, they fall asleep in each other’s arms under the tranquil ambiance of moonlight and stars. They wake the next day, still holding on then eventually prepare to meet each others’ families and exchange gifts with them…As I conclude this edition of Christmas in July, I realize Christmas is exactly five months away and despite 2020 being a tremendously rotten year on every level, I hope and pray there will be at least some joy during this upcoming Christmas, especially since last Christmas was so awful for me…On a slightly related note, I always wanted a window seat growing up but never had one. Some day, I might write a blog piece about that.

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Christmas in July-July 18, 2020

Just for the record, I do not own this image and I give all credit to whomever credit is due…When I see this, I imagine a wedding taking place, either just a few days before Christmas or on New Years Eve. The bride and groom are so much in love, but the groom has somewhat of a past. At first, the bride’s family was quite leery of him, but they ultimately accepted him when they witnessed how much he truly loves her and how he is willing to help them any and all ways that he is able. Everyone is smiling on them. Now they are exchanging rings and vows, then share a passionate kiss in front of friends, family, neighbors and loved ones. The Pastor pronounces them husband and wife and everyone goes celebrate! After the celebration a private plane is waiting to take them to an exquisite honeymoon vacation in Switzerland!

Christmas in July-July 7, 2020

Just for the record, I am not the owner of this image. However, I imagine a couple on Christmas vacation hiking in the mountains. After they reach a considerable height, they look down at the village below, both noticing the glowing windows. The young lady comments how beautiful the view is. The young man then replies how it is no where near as beautiful as her, nothing or no one is! She then passionately embraces him and begins to plant several kisses on his face. They then both fall into the snow giggling, where they hold each other for just a few moments, then decide to head back down because it’s getting dark. Both are carrying flashlights, which light the way as they walk back to the village…

Christmas in July-July 4, 2020

I am not the owner of this image, just for the record. However, I find it very inspiring. I picture a young couple around Christmas time. It’s a 17 year old boy and a 13 year old girl from families at odds with each other. He is very destitute but she is very well to do. However, their love for each other is unequivocally strong. He spent the day walking across town in below freezing weather, just to see her for a few minutes. They meet beneath the street lamp and exchange multiple kisses. He then embraces her and she buries her face in his chest. After holding her, he presents her a beautiful watch and says how he synchronized it with the church clock. She looks at the time on the face of that watch and realizes her parents will be home soon. Sweetly, they share several more kisses and one last embrace follow by a mutual, “I love you.” Then bid each other farewell. The boy then walks home and the girl watches longingly from the bay window until he is out of her sight…That’s my Christmas in July for this evening.

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Christmas in July-July 1, 2020

Well today is July 1st which means I will be celebrating Christmas in July in my own way, as I’ve done since 2018. I do not own this picture and I give all credit to whomever credit is due. In this picture I imagine a young man from bygone times with a lengthy past but much bigger heart taking a middle aged couple on a carriage ride. He and their daughter had been corresponding for the past month and this evening he is asking their permission to court her. They agree citing how he makes her happier than they have ever seen while so many other men rejected and mocked her and they further cite how she in turn causes him to be a very good man. They ride up and down the block further discussing the proposition, then he stops at their house. He then delivers the wonderful news to the young lady to which they share a passionate embrace and a sweet kiss. They all then have a toast, then the young man travels back to his modest dwelling, dreaming many dreams about her…

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Christmas in July-July 10, 2019

I do not own this photo, but I draw inspiration from it, so I give credit to whomever credit is due…My couple has been snowed in the cabin for several days now and they are out of food. But the park rangers are searching for survivors of the blizzard and my couple is found by them. They are taken to a ranger station and offered a hearty Christmas Dinner. Happily they both eat and then explain how they are newlyweds and so much in love. The married rangers go home to their spouses and make love to them and an unmarried but cohabitating ranger goes propose to his girlfriend. My young couple then heads home to see their families and exchange gifts…Stay tuned for a new storyline soon…

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Christmas in July-July 8, 2019

I do not own this picture, but I draw inspiration from it, so I give credit to whomever credit is due…My young married couple has been touring all over Europe for their honeymoon. They rent the cabin pictured here for the night. Soon they are overcome by their love for each other. They get the fire as warm as possible then undress. They adore each other’s bodies for just a moment, then become intimate. Afterwards they fall asleep in each others’ arms all night long. The next day there is a blizzard and they get snowed in, allowing more opportunity to be intimate!

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Christmas in July-July 5, 2019

I do not own this picture, but I give kudos to the owner because it gives me inspiration…It is Christmas, one year later and my aforementioned young couple are now newlyweds and on a honeymoon in Germany, but they are also going to tour the rest of Europe. They are walking the streets shopping for gifts for each other and their families. They share a sweet kiss together and soon they are caressing each others’ back sides. Some onlookers smile and think, “how sweet” while others get angry and want to pick a fight with them…

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