Ghetto Punch

I had heard of a certain restaurant in New Orleans making Ghetto Punch and I heard it was a combination of Kool Aid and Tea.

I’m not sure exactly how true that was, but one day I was out of sugar and pay day was a ways off.

So, I improvised and mixed Instant Tea mix (which already contains sugar) with Kool Aid and my drink came out fairly decent.

I’ve been trying to tweak it as of lately and I find this is the best combination.

Try it if you dare.

As stated on Facebook and Instagram:
…This is how I make Ghetto Punch…
1 Gallon of Tap Water
1.33 Cups of Lemon flavored instant tea mix
1 Packet of Watermelon Kool Aid
1 Packet of Pink Lemonade Kool Aid
Extra sugar until sweet enough (optional)
Stir briskly
Chill in refrigerator until cold
This recipe really comes in handy towards the end of the month especially as a cost effective alternative to soft drinks!

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White Beans

Dry Loose White NAVY Beans
Cooking Oil
Medium Grain Rice
Black Pepper
Onion Powder
Garlic Powder
Pickled Jalapeno Peppers
Tabasco Coarse Ground Mustard

This is a simple and a fairly cheap meal, but if done right is very delicious believe it or not.

I will say that you have to use Navy White Beans, and NOT Great Northern.

I find that Navy Beans have a better taste, so that is why I am advising this.

Soak your beans overnight for 12-36 hours and change your water at the halfway point of soaking.

Line the bottom of a medium to large pot with cooking oil and add the black pepper (use a liberal amount), onion powder, garlic powder and a little salt.
Eyeball your spices. The more beans you are cooking, the more spices you will need!
Place on a slightly high fire until the base is ever-so-slightly carmelized.

Reduce fire then add beans and water. Make sure you have enough water for the beans to swim deeply in.

Stir the mixture thoroughly, then cover.

Continue stirring occasionally.

It is optional to mash some of your beans against the inside of the pot as they get softer. This creates a thick gravy and makes the beans creamy.

Add more black pepper and salt to taste.

This may take 1 to 5 hours of cooking time, whether you are feeding yourself or you could be cooking on Navy Battle Ship (if so, thank you for your service!)

I frequently taste the food I am cooking and you should too so you can know when the beans are soft enough and the flavors are just right.

As the beans are finishing, draw water into another medium to large pot and add a few more drops of cooking oil.
Bring the water in that pot to a boil.
Boil the medium grain rice for 26 minutes or until soft.
*I misplaced my Casio G-Shock watch, that a durn big mistake! However, many times when cooking rice I employed the countdown timer feature on that watch to precisely cook rice*

Drain the rice and run cold water in your sink whilst doing so. The preserves the seals in your sink drains and therefore will prevent your sink from leaking.

Serve rice over beans and garnish with a liberal amount of pickled jalapeno peppers.

If you really want more flavor, because white beans, I wholeheartedly admit can be quite bland, add the Tabasco Coarse Ground Mustard to individual dishes!


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Fried Chicken

This is more or less how I make fried chicken.

I’m definitely not saying I will be the next Colonel Sanders (I mean only God Himself could make better fried chicken than Colonel Sanders-change my mind) but mine does taste fairly decent.

Cooking Oil
Milk or Buttermilk
Louisiana Hot Sauce (optional)
Chicken Pieces
McCormick Poultry Seasoning
Garlic Powder
Onion Powder
Season Salt
Creole Seasoning

…This entire process is totally messy from start to finish…

Take as many fresh or frozen pieces of chicken as you wish.
They can be on the bone or fillets.
If fresh, you are good to go.
If frozen defrost them toroughly.

Fill your skillet 3/4 full with cooking oil and begin heating it up. This is one of the few times I measure.

OPTIONAL: Drizzle Louisiana Hot Sauce on chicken pices and massage it into the meat.

Take eggs and beat them in a bowl.
Combine them with milk or buttermilk.

Take a plastic sealable bag and combine most of all flour, then: poultry seasoning, garlic powder, onion powder, season salt, Creole seasoning and a tiny bit of sugar. As always, eyeball your seasonings. Leah Chase, God rest that wonderful lady’s soul, never measured by the way!

Seal the bag and then shake it very well.

Take your chicken pieces and dredge them completely through the milk and egg mixture.

Afterwards, place chicken one by one in bag of flour and seasonings.

Shake the bag with chicken until the piece is completely coated.
Repeat with every piece.

By this time the oil in the skillet should be hot.

Slightly reduce the heat.

Place chickens in hot oil for 18 to 25 minutes depending on their sizes.

The larger the chicken piece the longer the frying time.

Turn pieces over with a pair of tongs at 4 minute intervals to prevent burning.

This would be another situation where my Casio G-Shock would have come in handy, but I misplaced the durn thing.

An entry level Casio G-Shock wristwatch, namely the model DW-5600E, is a stellar watch and is very helpful for kitchen work among many other professions, by the way.

Remove chickens from frying pan and allow them to cool for a few minutes.


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Potato Salad

Diced Red Potatoes
Chopped Red Bell Pepper
Smoked Sausage
Onion Powder
Black Pepper

This is my own take on Potato Salad.

It is uniqe, but tastes very good.

…There are countless ways to make potato salad by the way…

Wash the red potatoes thoroughly! This is of the utmost importance!
Dice the red potatoes (you may need a few or you may need many depending on the amount of people you are feeding.)
Leave the skin on the potatoes. Not only will this say you time, but it will give you extra nutrition from the skins!
Boil them until they are soft enough to easily push a fork through.

While the potatoes are boiling place some smoked sausage in a frying pan.
Heat it until it is cooked thoroughly.
Save the drippings and cut sausages into small chunks.

Drain the potatoes.
Run cold water in your sink while doing so, as I’ve stated before, to preserve the seal on your sink drains and therefore prevent your sink from leaking!

Place boiled potatoes in a bowl.

Add mayonaise (the more potatoes you have, the more mayonaise you will need.)

Add sausage chunks and drippings.

Add garlic powder, onion powder and black pepper. Eyeball your spices, you will know when enough is too much.

Cut a red bell pepper into small chunks also and add to mixture.

Add a little parsley for garnish.

Mix and mash entire contents together until it is consistent.

Serve hot or cold.


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Green Beans


Fresh or Frozen Green Beans
Cooking Oil
Season Salt
Onion Powder
Garlic Powder
Black Pepper
Diced Red Potatoes (optional)
Chopped Mushrooms (optional)

When I can (please no pun intended), I use fresh green beans but if this is not an option, frozen works almost as well.
Most canned green beans have a terrible after taste and I consider canning them to be assault, battery, rape and muder of perfectly good green beans.

If using fresh green beans, make sure the tips are snapped off. French style cutting is also an option, but this is very time consuming and can also cause personal injury if not absolutely careful. I use my Case Trapper knife for this very purpose.

If using frozen green beans, allow them to defrost, at least for a little while.

Take your favorite type of bacon and some sterile kitchen scissors and cut the bacon into neat little squares.
*If you use raw bacon and are anal about food borne pathogens like I am, you may microwave the bacon before cutting it, but for best results add the drippings as well as the bacon to the recipe.*

Line the bottom of a medium to large pot with cooking oil, then add the cut up bacon (and drippings if applicable), sugar, season salt, onion powder, garlic powder black pepper and the optional diced red potatoes.
…Eyeball your spices. I never measure! The more green beans you have the more seasonings you will need. You may just be cooking for yourself or you may be cooking for a small army…
*If you add the diced red potatoes, make sure you wash them well, but to save time as well as add some nutrition to your meal, leave the skin on. The skin is good for you!*
You may also add the chopped mushrooms at this time if you wish.

Place pot on a medium to high fire.
Heat the base and frequently stir until it is ever-so-slightly carmelized.

Dump green beans into pot and add some water.

You want enough water to steam the green beans but NOT boil them.

*Steaming preserves the all the nutrients that green beans provide whereas boiling destroys all those nutrients*

Lower the fire.

Mix everything throughly so the flavor of the seasoning base is infused to the green beans.
Cover the pot, but stir occasionally.

The cooking on low fire time may take 1 to 3 hours depending on how tender you want your green beans to be and how much you are cooking.

Serve and enjoy.

By the way, this is how I cook green beans.

My girlfriend has a completely different method.

She doesn’t like my method and I don’t like her method (others like my method and yet others like her method too, though.)

But I frequently tell her how if we had too much in common we would eventually be at each others’ throats.

For the record, I still love her to death though and I revere her immensely!

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Red Beans and Rice

Cooking Oil
Dry Loose Red Beans
Medium Grain White Rice
Finely Chopped Parsley
Smoked Sausage
Bay Leaves
Onion Powder
Garlic Powder
Black Pepper
Creole Seasoning
McCormick® Perfect Pinch® Roasted Garlic & Bell Pepper Seasoning

I don’t give specified amounts of ingredients because some of you may be serving plenty of people and some of you may just be serving yourself.

I never measure my spices, either, instead I eyeball everything.

Soak dry loose red beans overnight for 12-36 hours.
Change water at halfway point during soak.
Drain beans.

Cut smoked sausage into small round pieces.

In a medium to large pot (depending on the amount desired to cook), line the bottom of the pot with cooking oil.
Add the smoked sausage, bay leaves, onion powder, garlic powder, black pepper Creole Seasoning and McCormick® Perfect Pinch® Roasted Garlic & Bell Pepper Seasoning. Eyeball your spices!

Place pot on medium to slightly high fire.
Stir frequently.
Press on pieces of smoked sausage to allow their fat and juices to mingle with the seasoning base.
Heat until slightly browned.

Lower the fire to between medium and low and combine beans and water with enough water for the beans to swim in.
Cover the pot and stir occasionally.

The beans will get softer and softer as the cooking time progresses.

Mash some of the beans against the pot when soft enough (optional.)

It could take between 2 and 5 hours to complete cooking and water may need to be added during the cooking process.

I always taste the food that I am cooking and this helps determine whether it is done or not.

When the beans are near done, take another medium to large pot and fill it with water.
Add a few drops off cooking oil to the water and bring to a rolling boil.
Add the rice and boil for approximately 26 minutes or until rice is soft enough.
Drain rice and for Heaven’s sake, run the cold water in your sink while draining.
*Don’t run the cold water on the rice, but let it hit the drain hole while draining your rice. Boiling hot water causes the seals in your sink drain to deteriorate prematurely, which will cause your sink to leak!*

Serve rice over beans and garnish with parsley.


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Pilot-A Disabled Electrician turned Writer

My name is Johnny Joseph Elder and my life is either dull or amazing, depending on whom you ask. I am a writer, at least on the amateur level, but there is someone special who enjoys my work. I turned twenty-six last month and it was my first birthday that I was not single.

I sit at my computer finishing up my latest fantasy, which is getting really steamy at this point.

As I save the file, Annabelle Jenkins, my live-in girlfriend, steps out of the bathroom of my house and says, “Bae, let’s go make some groceries.”

“Sure, let me just get my jacket and shoes on,” I reply.

Yes, she is seven years my junior and many assume we don’t have anything in common. Nothing could be further from the truth, however. The truth is, Annabelle also likes to write and even more importantly, she writes very much like me. Not only that, we are madly attracted to each other physically.

With that, I then get my shoes from under the bed and put them on. I struggle to get them on my feet because it hurts my back to bend. The pain is a constant reminder of when I seriously injured my back from a fall while working in the electrical trade. There is a bright side to this situation which I’m very thankful for and that is I get my financial and medical needs met. Therefore I am able to pay the note on my house in addition to the utilities and I can also put food on the table and most months I can buy myself and Annabelle a little gift each month.

Afterwards, I take my brown jacket from the hall tree and Annabelle gets her gray hoodie as well. We bundle up and prepare to leave. I turn my floor furnace off and Annabelle take’s my personal shopping cart out of the utility room and then we walk out the front door together. The weather is cold, damp and bleak, but what do you expect for early February? I engage my deadbolt, then we walk across the porch, down the steps, through my yard and out the gate of my hurricane fence, which I lock behind us. We then make our way to Melinda’s Massive Superstore.

We walk for about block and arrive at our destination and enter the store.

Annabelle and I look around for just a bit, and then I ask her, “Bae what would you like me to make us for dinner?”

“You know those fried potatoes that you make so well? I’d like those,” She replies.

“Say no more,” I tell her as we walk to the produce section where I select a bag of large Russet potatoes.

Then we go to the cooking supplies aisle for a jug of Wesson cooking oil.

Afterwards, we walk to the spices aisle and I pick up a canister of Tony Chachere’s Creole Seasoning.

Then I ask her, “Would you like some Remoulade sauce to dip the potatoes in?”

“Sure. That would be nice,” Annabelle says.

We look around the store with much effort, but cannot find it.

Annabelle and I see a grocery clerk passing by on roller skates and I ask him, “Excuse me, sir, where is your Remoulade Sauce located?”

“It’s hard to find, so I’ll take you to it,” He pauses, then continues, “Follow me.”

The stocker guides us to the condiments aisle and shows us. It is on the bottom shelf towards the back end of the aisle.

I place two bottles in my cart, shake his hand and say, “Thank you for your help, sir.”

“You’re welcome. Helping customers is much more rewarding than just putting up dry goods all day and into the night.” He pauses then continues, “Is there anything else we can help you find today?”

“No that’s it. I shop here a lot and I know where almost everything is.”

“Well then, y’all come back soon and have a nice day.”

“You too, sir.”

I look at Annabelle and then ask her, “What would you like to drink, bae?”

“R. C. Cola.”

“Then I’ll have to get each of us a Moon Pie as well, for after dinner. Moon Pie go perfectly with an R. C. Cola.”

“You’re going to make me gain even more weight. I’m already so fat.”

“Don’t worry, bae, I think you’re sexy as hell and not to mention, I feel so ecstatic when I hold you at night.”

She then grabs me with great affection and steals a kiss from me, saying, “You’re so sweet to tell me that.”

“Well, I mean it, bae. I’m immensely blessed to have you in my life.”

Annabelle then rubs her nose against mine and we each select a moon pie from the impulse section. Afterwards, we get in line to check out.

The cashier says, “Y’all always make such a cute couple,” as she scans our items.

We just smile from ear to ear, then I say, “Thanks, usually we get harassed when we show affection in public.”

“Well, I think it’s beautiful that y’all love and cherish each other, especially in public. The world needs more love and less hate. Besides anyone who harasses y’all for that is either jealous, uptight or maybe both.”

She finishes scanning our items then I charge them to my revolving account.

The groceries are then placed in my cart and we walk out of the store.

As we walk back to the house Annabelle takes off her glasses and wipes them with her hoodie.

I smile at her and say, “I can make those glasses fog up even more!”

“Ooo, bae, I’d like that,” She replies, giggling.

So I continue, “Wait when we get home. I’m going to love you like there’s no tomorrow!”

“You’re making me so hot, even in this cold weather,” She exclaims then grabs me with a loving kiss.

I throw my arms around her then begin to gently rub her love handles.

She buries her face in my chest and I kiss her forehead.

“It feels so good to be in your arms,” She says as her teeth chatter.

A motorist drives by sounds his horn and shouts “Get a room!”

“Get a life!” I shout back to him.

Annabelle whispers to me, “Let’s get home where we can have some privacy and do whatever we want!”

“Right behind you, bae,” I tell her as we briskly walk the rest of the block. We’re now in front of my house, so I unlock my hurricane fence and we walk through my yard, then up my steps and onto my porch. I unlock the deadbolt and we enter my house. I place the grocery cart in the living room and lock the front door.

“Bae, I want you so badly right now; take me,” Annabelle says with a high energy excitement.

“I’m all yours, both now and forever,” I tell her, then turn my floor furnace back on as we rush to my bedroom, peeling off each others’ clothes.

We commence our beautiful lovemaking. It goes on and on as we climax several times.

“Bae, you just inspired me to write something beautiful,” Annabelle says, panting and moaning.

“I think you did likewise for me,” I reply.

We collapse in the sheets and blankets cuddling each other while discussing our stories.

Soon, the hunger pangs begin.

I hear Annabelle’s stomach growling and ask, “Are you hungry, bae?”

“Yes. What about you?”

“I’m hungry too. I guess we’ll write these ideas down after we eat.”

So, with that, we get dressed and prepare dinner.

I pour the oil into a deep pan and light my gas range. While waiting for the oil to get hot, I cut the potatoes into flat round pieces and then drop them in the now hot oil. The round potato slices sizzle fiercely as they hit the oil. Annabelle and I watch them cook. After they are crispy and golden brown, I drain them of the grease and season them with the Tony Chachere’s Creole Seasoning and some Louisiana Hot Sauce.

Annabelle gets the plates out of my cabinet and puts the potatoes and Remoulade sauce on them. She then pours us each a tall glass of R. C. Cola. Even though we are living in sin, we still say grace, because we are still thankful to God for all He provides. One day, hopefully soon, we will marry so our relationship can be right in His eyes. We would already be married if there weren’t any government implications to concern ourselves over.

Now we eat, happily scarfing down our food. Afterwards, we do the dishes then we eat our Moon Pies and finish off the R. C. Cola.

We walk to my living room and I turn the T.V. on.

For a little while, we watch some old DVDs until Annabelle says, “Bae, let’s go write.”

“Good idea.”

So we turn off the T.V. and go to my computer each with a chair and we write together. We write beautiful love stories and fantasies for each other until we are both too sleepy to keep our eyes open.

And with that, we go to bed and hold each other all night long in a peaceful slumber…

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