This is my current situation as told according to my narrative.
It may be accurate, like it may be inaccurate. It may be both in varying degrees.
By the way, a handful of others familiar with my current situation will agree with this narrative.
Without further ado, here it is:
I believe some people who know me or at least know of me and they don’t want me to be happy. Most of these people are likely from my past, but a few are also in my present.
I had suspected this for some time, but a friend recently pointed it out to me that there are a lot of people who do not want me to be happy.
They are quite large in numbers and they all have their reasons, of which I will attempt to list:
If the ones from my past don’t want me to be happy, it’s because I must have done something to make them angry with me. When they see blessings and joy come into my life, they were infuriated. Some of these people date back to my childhood. I know I was opinionated and didn’t exactly fit in with the rest, as a child, but maybe I am a more unique individual as a result of this. Not only that, as a child I was prideful and flaunted my intelligence. It would be crazy to think that those from my childhood did not let go of their hatred for me, especially since I have not seen some of them in almost twenty years.
Some of the people from my more recent past don’t want me to be happy because of the content of what I write and how it conflicts with everything or at least some things they stand for. I’m told quite frequently how eloquent of a writer I am, so I guess I am gifted with getting my point across accurately with the written word. And, anyone who disagrees with my content would naturally feel threatened by this. The First Amendment protects my freedom of speech and expression, among other things, so they aren’t able to directly silence me, therefore, they resent me. When they see me experiencing joy and pleasure, they are overcome with contempt for me.
Another handful of people both in my past and present don’t want to see me happy because I do indeed get a disability pension while they go to work or worked most of their life. Automatically, most of them believe that anyone who is less than them materially or financially or simply doesn’t work as hard as they do/did doesn’t deserve to be any happier than they are, and yes, many of them are downright miserable. So seeing me happy makes them see red. While I am frequently negatively portraying these types of people in my writing, I do truly feel sorry for them, unlike the rest.
The final group of people who don’t want to see me happy is the ones who are opposed to my Faith in Jesus Christ. Let’s face it Jesus Christ is God come in the flesh and is tremendously polarizing. You either love Him with all that you’ve got or you hate Him with a passion. Those that are indifferent won’t be that way once they get to know of Him. There are many more who will hate Him than love Him because, among other things, He exposes everyone’s wickedness. Human beings are wicked but they hate it when their wickedness is proven to themselves much less to others. Yes, Jesus Christ exposes every bit of wickedness, but He is willing and able to pardon us of all that wickedness if we put our faith in Him. He paid a very dear price to accomplish this but the price is paid in full! Those who have had their wickedness pardoned by Him can’t help but love Him and yes I with them want to fall prostrate at His feet and worship Him with every fiber of my being! God be praised in Jesus’ Name! I pray that I will always submit and confess when Christ exposes the wickedness in my life. But the fact remains that He is my Lord and if they hate Him, they will automatically hate me. Many see all that I am blessed with and they are angered because it was all due to God’s unearned favor. But they are too prideful to come to Christ themselves.
There are also wicked beings in the spiritual realm who do not want me to be happy and they are the ones who carry out various attacks and hindrances on me. They are also activated by the resentment of my happiness from those four aforementioned groups of people. They are energized by the strife and their constant efforts are to propagate this strife everywhere to oppress humanity. Not to mention, they are angered more than anyone else by my Faith in Jesus Christ. The fact that I have been eternally redeemed despite all of my sins and shortcomings yet they cannot be redeemed no matter what elevates their anger to degrees far beyond what mortal man is capable of. That anger combined with the anger from the others is what fuels all these attacks and hindrances in my life.
I’m not sure whether or not even God my Heavenly Father wants me to be happy. Nowhere in the Bible is happiness ever promised. I know God wants me to be holy and expects me to be content in all situations because of what He gave me eternally. For the most part, I am content. Although, if my happiness is derived from godly sources, I know He is rejoicing with me!
I am still happy though, despite all of this, but I could be much happier. I know the one thing that would indeed make me happier, but it seems to be perpetually out of my reach. I believe it is held over my head and out of my reach by the wicked activities of demons in the spiritual realm, fueled by their hatred and the other people’s hatred of me. God allows this for whatever reason but I believe one day, though, He will intervene on my behalf and it will be at the perfect time. By the way, what I am desiring is both carnal and spiritual simultaneously. For a year and some months, I had such happiness but it was abruptly removed a few months ago. However, the whole ordeal has brought me closer to my God. I fervently pray that God restores that level of happiness in my life but only in such a way that glorifies Him! The previous source of happiness only glorified God to a slight degree and many times was instead a form of idolatry. There were other factors and ultimately I see how God allowed it to be removed from me for my protection.
There are other sources for my happiness, though, such as helping others whenever I can, especially helping my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Just going to church and fellowshipping with my brothers and sisters in Christ is a major source of happiness for me in and of itself. Another source of my happiness is the pleasure I get when I write something and I make all of my readers feel and think. This is especially true when I write a love story and I provoke all sorts of wonderful emotions from my readers. And even better, when I can cause my readers to feel what I am feeling, mission accomplished is all I can say! Those sources of happiness come from either God or within myself and it would be nearly impossible to be taken away. Of course, I am ashamed to admit that some material objects in my possession also provide a source of happiness, because they either supplement my hobbies or help me to be prepared. If not for anything else, they help meet my earthly needs. And not only that, they are definite reminders of how my God has blessed me immensely!
So, while many do not want me to be happy, they’re only able to take it so far, really only as far as God allows them to. Maybe God allows it to the degree He does as a form of correction upon me, after all, He corrects those whom He loves. But when God will be done correcting me, I know He has even more blessings in store for me and as long as I abide in Him, those blessings will remain. Of course, my goal must need be to abide in Him regardless, blessings, or no blessings!
You may believe this like you may not, but I feel it is true and parts of it I can back up with The Bible.
However, I will wholeheartedly admit that some is just my speculation.
Still, I think you, the reader, can see the validity and genuine nature of this piece.
I hope there is something to be learned from it.
That is all.
Thank you for reading and if you are a Christian, please consider praying for me, because I covet your prayers.
May God richly bless you!