It’s another day closer to Christmas as I wake up on my living room sofa.
I rub my eyes and then look at my watch which indicates that it is Noon.
I realize that I need to make some groceries, so I call the number on my EBT card and find out that I still have $22 of the $44 I get a month for nutritional assistance. I then walk into my utility room and retrieve my personal shopping cart.
Melinda’s Massive Superstore is about a block away from my house, so I put my jacket on and push my shopping cart out the door.
I guide it down my steps, across my front yard and out of the gate of my cyclone fence.
Then I push it towards Melinda’s as I walk on the sidewalk.
The weather is cold and raw, but I push on.
I cut across the parking lot and finally I enter.
The double sliding doors automatically open and I am hit with a blast of warm air.
I’m quite hungry and I know I shouldn’t shop on an empty stomach, but I have yet to put food in my new house.
First, I see the four packs of pudding on sale for eighty-nine Cents a pack. I buy five four packs of tapioca and three four packs of vanilla.
Then I buy got to the canned vegetables which are selling two for one dollar. I buy four cans of green and four cans of carrots.
Next I go to the canned meats and seafood and see that store brand tuna fish is selling for fifty cents a can. I buy eight cans.
I then buy a loaf of the cheapest sliced bread, which is selling for one dollar and twenty five cents. I also get a jar of store brand mayonnaise that is selling for two dollars and ninety cents.
Finally, I go to the frozen foods aisle and see Banquet Dinners for ninety-nine cents apiece. I get a turkey with potatoes stuffing and peas dinner. I get a spaghetti and meatballs. And I get a barbecued pork ribs dinner.
Then I walk to the checkout counter with my purchases.
A young cashier scans my items and I humbly pay with my EBT card. My new neighbor is watching me make check out. After the transaction is approved, I make a bee line back home. Finally, I am in front of my house, just as my new neighbor is pulling up onto his driveway in a truck.
I enter my the gate of my cyclone fence and am cutting across my yard with my groceries. I hear the truck door of my neighbor slam loudly as he stands by the fence and yells at me with a confrontational anger, “I saw you making those groceries with your food stamp card. It must be nice to sit on your butt all day and get hand outs!”
I try to ignore him and walk to my steps.
I guide my shopping cart up my steps and place my groceries inside.
He shouts again, “That’s right, that’s right, go inside and eat all the food that my taxes paid for you lazy mooch!”
I lock both the storm door and the wooden door.
I’m now feeling really guilty because I do have plenty though I no longer work as I take my Swiss Army Knife from my EDC backpack and use the can opener implement to open a can of tuna fish for my lunch.
Not only am I feeling guilty, I’m very paranoid that this neighbor might harm me. I mean he is ex military and ex criminal and could probably kill me with his bare hands.
I spread some mayonnaise on four slices of bread then I make two tuna fish sandwiches from that can.
I say grace, thanking God for providing me with the food, but also ask him to protect me from that troublesome neighbor.
I eat the two sandwiches hurriedly and then I wash them down with the Pepsi from last night.
After many thoughts cycle through my head, I decide to get on my computer and write a story for my blog. The villain will definitely be based on my hateful neighbor.
I write until the hour of Four PM. Then I get ready for church…